Lee
He had a plan, he had it all figured out. Give her the bouquet, say your peace, then leave. But when he found her crying in the garden, he didn’t know what to say.
For months before anyone else aside from him and Karin had lived in that castle, they had noticed a lot of strange movements such as the furniture from his bedroom being completely somewhere else. Or the fact that Karin’s clothes were always folded despite the fact that she would go into a mental rage about things being perfect. There were places in the castle that made no sense: floors being constantly cleaned despite there not being any cleaning products, dust just never seemed to accumulate and at some point, Lee’s furniture returned but it was placed differently. And although he never really seemed to mind, he was quite curious about how it became this way. When Karin would soon befriend Alexis who in turn brought over Ben, Terra, and Ken, they were informed of the existence of fairies. Fairies, you see, were not as typical as they were on any other worlds. Every other world had a rule: give a gift to the fairies and never cross them lest you wanted unfortunate mishaps to occur. Yet these fairies seemed to work without that. Or perhaps, they were already given something for them to continue their work. Ben, who happened to belong to a long, long-lost line of fairy folk, had spoken to them and asked why they remained in the castle. They only responded with whispers that remained coherent and soft: this is our home, and so long as you live in our home, you are our masters, and we will serve until your time comes to an end. Lee had come to ask why this contract existed as he found no pleasure in putting a group of species into a lifetime servitude, and the eldest of them came and said Because you have saved our lives, Lord Faustus. And we have made the eternal pack of living in your servitude. Do you not remember? Lee solemnly shook his head and allowed them to carry on. There were many mysteries that the residents had yet to explore, yet this mystery was one that Lee was against investigating any further. So, when he needed assistance in much of anything, he would politely ask the fairies who would remind him he needed to not be so polite to them. They took care of the garden as they did with the rest of the house.
Ben had came up with a wonderful plan for Lee to deliver the flowers: utilize the archway of the back gardens. Though the years hadn’t been kind on the structure, the vines of pink and red roses that grow from it haven’t aged one bit. It was something the fairies took care of with much passion and spry. And, according to Ben, it was a sure fire way for her to accept his feelings. However, this wasn’t what Lee wanted to begin with, he just didn’t want to keep anything from her. Although, he may want to retract his words. When Lee had asked the fairies for assistance in finding Monique, they led him to the garden. They had whispered amongst themselves, to where it all began.
Though those words would soon leave his mind as he saw her cry as the only thing that mattered to him was her. Despite the setting being right, despite her hugging Terra underneath the very same archway that he wanted to use, all of those thoughts, plans, and words just suddenly disappeared. The only thing on his mind was How do I make her smile again? Was this all my fault? How was he going to deliver the flowers when all he wanted to do was hold her the way Terra was. But when Terra saw him with the flowers, she smiled and left when she knew her presence would be invasive. And when it was just the two of them there standing in a field of flowers, underneath the rosy archway, he had remembered Faustus mentioning how lovely they had grown; and he would remember how her eyes looked the first time he had ever seen them. Like glistening rubies under the setting lights. And even though they are now glistening because of the number of tears she had shed; he tossed the lines he was going to say and instead just gave her the bouquet.
Monique: Aren’t you…going to say anything?
Lee: There’s a million things I want to say, but the first thing I want to make sure is if you’re okay.
She nodded and motioned to accept the flowers.
Lee: Look, I’m not entirely sorry if what I said had been weighing on your mind.
Monique: You mean the part about me being cute?
Lee: Yes, because I do think that about you, and I also think that you’re an amazing person, despite what you think about yourself. And I want you to know that I quite like you. I like you a whole lot.
Monique: But…I-I don’t really kn–
Lee: It’s okay if you don’t like me.
Monique: No, that’s not what I wanted to say. I- I just don’t know…what it all means or what I’m even supposed to say.
Lee: You don’t have to say anything. All I wanted you to know is that I quite like you and by all means, you don’t have to say anything back. I just wanted to give you these despite what your answer maybe.
Monique: I don’t understand.
Lee: I me-
Monique: I’m not entirely sure what the concept of liking or loving someone is.
She had said it in such a straightforward tone, Lee ended up blushing instead. In his mind love and like we’re two separate notions yet they were not far off from what he had actually felt.
Monique: But after thinking about it for quite some time and not knowing how to be myself around you, I think I’m starting to understand…some of it…
Lee: Like I said, I don’t want to pressure you. You don’t have to accept them or anything. I just…I just wanted to tell you how I felt about you.
Monique
And she would feel beside herself, what had she thought of Lee? In the instant she had felt that time had stopped and allowed her the space to think for a moment. While she was running away from the thought that he might actually say this to her now, why had she ran away in the first place? Was it because she really didn’t want to face him? When Terra asked if she had liked him, she didn’t really deny that fact but instead denied the fact that he may like her. But now that Lee was so earnestly telling his feelings to her, there was no real point for her to hide that away, no real point for her to just not outright and say it. So, as she held onto the bouquet, she looked at him in the same fierce eyes she had the day they had met.
Monique: But what will I do if I like you too?
Lee
Lee had spent his whole life putting up walls, hiding behind his stoic demeanor. And perhaps…the only real reason he fell for Monique was simply due to the walls she hurdled over without meaning to. The sense of comfort he had felt when he didn't have to be anything more than what he already was. So, he wasn’t expecting an answer so soon. He had expected to wait weeks, even months, even if the answer was a no. Or a hell no. Or even a plausible maybe. But when it had come out of her mouth as confident as she was, he couldn’t help but smile and waver. He was defeated once again by a girl who probably had no idea what romance was. So, as she held the bouquet so firmly in her hands, he just held her in his arms in a way to ensure the bouquet would retain its shape.
Lee asked: And why do you like me so much?
Monique: W-w-well, y-you’ve given me a wonderful life, a bed to sleep in, warm meals and now these wonderful fl-flowers…h…how am I supposed to pay it all back to you?
Lee: You don’t have to. And like I said you–
Monique: But I don’t want to leech off of your kindness! I don’t want to be another Alice.
Ahh. That’s what it was. She was afraid of becoming Alice. His heart strings tugged. If there were any more silence, she could soon hear how loud it’s been beating.
Lee: You’re never going to become her.
Monique: Bu-but I…I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to feel like vile vermin just leeching off of you!
Lee: And you aren’t.
He pushed her away just to stare into her eyes. Her wonderful, ruby red eyes that were so close to watering up.
Lee: I gave you the flowers because everyone deserves flowers. I confessed to you because I’m a bumbling buffoon who’s not good at keeping a secret. I stupidly wear my heart on my sleeves despite the damage it continues to do. I did not expect you to feel the same nor did I expect anything but your wonderful company. And that’s all I ever expect from you.
Monique: Bu-but I feel like...I’ll just…never give enough.
Lee: You are enough. Miss Monique Obviously you are just enough.
Monique
She, once again, began to sob. Never once has anyone ever told her this.
You’re lacking.
You need to do better.
Be better.
You’ll never be enough.
So often was she told how to be. So often was she told how little she mattered. She hadn’t sobbed this much in front of anyone nor this frequently. Yet, there he was shattering all the voices that punctured her soul. There he was plucking them all away and soothing the weariness of her soul. She had wanted to run away, run so far away that he wouldn’t be able to catch up to her like he did in San Francisco. But how could she go anywhere now? Was this what home felt like? A place of comfort? Of just being?
Lee: You know, you don’t have to force yourself to lie.
Monique: But I-I’m not lying! I really do like you.
Lee chuckled and held her once more.
Lee: Then we’ll take it slow from here on out and I’ll tell you again and hope that the next time I tell you I like you, you will stare at me in the same way you had when I first met you and you can very much tell me how you really feel about me then and I will fully believe you.
Monique: But I-I do l-like you. I-I'm just….
Scared. Afraid. Worried.
Monique: Don’t deserve this.
Kindness. Patience. Affection.
Lee: And why not?
Monique: B-because I…I….
Have killed. Have decimated. Have destroyed.
Monique: Am a monster. I-don’t…deserve…any of…this.
Lee: And who told you that?
“Father”. Ezekiel. Isabella.
Lee: Who in the fuck told you that?
Angelica. Dominique.
Lee: ‘Cause I will end those lying fucks.
Tears would soon turn to small, stifling laughter. Who else but Lee would actually mean what he said by those words? She’d seen his demon rip thousands of monsters to shred and had no doubts of the people that were on his ledger. Of course, he could also destroy the people who had ever crossed her. But she didn’t want that for him. She didn’t want him to become a monster just as she was.
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
Lee: I would literally end those idiots.
Monique: Why?
Lee: Because they hurt you.
Monique: You…don’t even know me that well…
Lee: Oh, dear sweet love, I have been inside your mind for long enough to move past that line. Besides, like I’ve said before, we can take it as slow as you want to go. And, like I’ve said before all of that, I wasn’t expecting you to reply with your feelings the way you did. And if you want to, you can take it all back.
She furiously shook her head. She never wanted to take any of it back because she wanted to move forward..with him. With someone she could trust because she had, too, had seen the insides of his mind. And she knew someone of his stature, of his nature, would never cross her the way he had done.
Lee: Then we can just take it slow from here. I meant what I said, Monique. I like you very much.
Monique: And I like you too.
She nodded. She was not sure what to do with these emotions that seemed all brand new. She was not sure what to do with the flowers, still in her hands nor what to do after all of this. Was this where they kissed? Was this where she would get all giddy and run to tell her best friend? Whom she had no contact with because she really actually doesn’t have a best friend…or did she? Would Terra count now that their little squabble was mended? Or was that off the table? Could she have a boyfriend and a friend? Not one person she could recall at the time being ever taught her how any of this worked. And it concerned her.
Lee kneaded his eyebrows.
Lee: What’s on your mind?
Monique: I’m not sure what to do.
Lee: Hmm…what is it that you want to do?
Monique: I don’t know what friends are.
Lee: Aren’t you friends with Terra?
Monique: Am I even supposed to be friends with someone if I have a boyfriend?
Lee laughed: Am I that to you?
Monique: AREN’T YOU!?!?!
Lee: I’m teasing. Yes, anyone can be your friend while I can still be your boyfriend. And everyone can use friends.
Monique: She said she’d be in my room.
Lee: Then yes, you are friends.
Monique: But I don’t remember how to get there from here.
Lee: Ahh I see.
He let go of one of her hands and proceeded to lead her back.
Lee: It can get pretty tricky getting back.
As they walked back, she couldn’t help but notice the strange feeling beating into her chest. Like the way he’d keep up his pace to match hers. He never once dragged her around like a rag doll by the arm and yelled at her to walk faster, nor did he get mad at her for making a simple mistake when he had asked which way to go. His voice only raised once because, unfortunately, a spider web had crossed his path and he talked about how he dreadfully hated the fact it feels like wispy hair strings on his face. And perhaps the only real crime he had committed was something he constantly did: held her hand without asking first. But this wasn’t brand new nor was this something that had crossed the line. It had felt the way it did when they descended that mountain in Yosemite. Very kind and very caring.
And as they walked back towards her room, she had an inkling feeling she couldn’t possibly quite shake off. Perhaps it was Ezekiel’s screaming thoughts, thoughts she didn’t want to feed attention to but couldn’t help but notice.
All too convenient for you, isn’t it?
What?
Free room, free housing, don’t you think you owe him more than just hand holding?
Have you learned nothing in your time with me, darling?
Nothing is free.
Don’t you remember? I was the one who brought you out of the streets.
I saved you, from your wretched life.
As they got to the door, Lee looked at her smiling. But she did not stare back, what was she to do? Tell him the thoughts of her ex are coming back to haunt her?
Don’t you think the least you can do is kiss him too?
Kiss him the way you kissed me.
With those stone-cold unloving lips.
Lips that are mine, my dear.
Lee
He saw her demeanor rapidly change, her breathing was shallow, and her eyes were no longer focused on him or anything else for that matter. Sweat drops formulated all around and it seemed as if she were on the precipice of a panic attack.
Lee: Monique?
She shook her head as if her body felt the reverberations of earthquakes. He softly laid his forehead on hers, so close to her he could have laid a kiss. But instead, he slowly backed away to pull her into a warm embrace. Because this had shocked her, she finally spoke.
Monique: L-Lee?
Lee: Can you hear me?
She nodded. And he softly sighed to himself, realizing the repercussions to his actions. Perhaps he was forcing too much of himself onto her. Perhaps she didn’t really want to say anything but had to say something for his sake. As much as she didn’t want to be an Alice about this, he didn’t want to be an Ezekiel. They both were adamantly against becoming a repeat of what their exes were to each other.
Lee: Look, I…I don’t want to pry, and I don’t want to force my feelings onto you.
Monique: Bu-but.
Lee: I should have waited and…everything just slipped out.
The laugh he let out was a tad bit too sad, so he sighed once more, and she flinched which made him frown.
Lee: I don’t want to force you to have anything to do with me. You don’t want to feel like Alice, well I don’t want to feel like Ezekiel.
Her face sullen.
Monique: But you can’t ever be him.
Lee: And how do you know that? I basically forced a confession out of you.
Monique, giggling: You’re far too caring and kind. Every time you consider my feelings, you’re less like him.
Lee: You do realize that’s the bare minimum, right?
Monique shook her head: I don’t. I haven’t had anyone remotely close to me to show me that, remember?
Lee laughed: I’ll try not to take advantage of that.
Monique
But it's so easy to.
Because my dear, sweet, darling, idiot.
You are simply
Too broken and too fragile
To ever be seen as anything more than an object to throw away.
No, I’m not.
She breathed, trying really hard to maintain herself while getting to her room. Yet, the past was not so easily pushed away as she would love to believe. Because regardless of how long she had spent away from the Earth that had shown her nothing but the grotesqueness and cruelty of powerful people, it would always come back to haunt her in more ways than she would like. Fingers would soon consume her neck, wrapping itself around her like a leash, only tugging on her till she could no longer breathe. She was yanked back into a wall, ripping her out of Lee’s arms.
Is that what I had not done to you?
Just because you’re far away from me
Does not mean I cannot reach you.
Lee: Monique!!
Her breathing swallowed as every fiber of her being screamed. Voices called out in echoing screams, telling her to run, to leave. But she gritted her teeth.
Come find me then.
Bold aren’t you?
Has that world of yours made you so soft?
I can’t wait to see the face you’ll make
When it’s all torn away.
Just like it was in New Orleans.
Oh, how I look forward to smashing your broken pieces over again.
Lee was able to take hold of her as Terra, who had ran outside of her room was trying to find the cause of it all. Using advanced arcane spells, Terra had finally removed the fingers that were surrounding Monique’s neck but couldn’t do much about the scarring of it. Monique tried hard to catch her breath as Terra left to grab some water from the nearby kitchen. Lee just held her hand, making small little thumb circles.
Lee: You, okay?
She tried her best to give a slight nod, but she was still reeling in from the shock of it all. How was Ezekiel that powerful? How could he reach out that far?
Monique, in a raspy voice: s-s-sorry.
Lee: Don’t apologize. You aren’t at fault. Perhaps me being too forward is bringing up something that shouldn’t be here.
Monique: Eh? What makes you say that?
Lee: I am probably pushing boundaries, aren’t I?
He briefly let go all together only for her to stubbornly hold on. She cleared her raspy throat.
Monique: I didn’t hate any of it. I-I-I Just…thought…he was gone…that the small parts of him that still exist weren’t strong enough to do anything.
Lee
Rapid changes in emotions had always caused some internal turmoil that would result in something Lee was all too familiar with. The volatile rage, the destructive fury. Something that was so deep and so primordial. Yet he would do nothing about the warnings that would present itself. He would instead bottle it away and place it precariously onto a shelf already too full to hold onto anything else. When she held on, the way she did, his tempers of the events quelled. And then a softer chuckle came out as he smiled.
Lee: You know, I feel like you’ve tricked me.
Monique: How!? I-I’ve done nothing of the sort!!
Lee: Yes, you’ve tricked me into liking you.
He smiled.
Lee: And I’m falling much deeper than I’ve realized.
He squeezed her timid hands which caused her to turn completely red.
Monique: Bully.
Terra came in, glass of iced cold water at hand.
Terra: Of course, he is, the scoundrel!!
Terra pulled Monique away from Lee, and Lee just sighed. Before her hand could be released from his, he gave it a soft kiss and bid her a good night. He then headed to his room, which wasn’t awfully too far from hers, but far enough that she couldn’t hear what he was about to do. In his room laid the furniture that had rearranged itself a couple of times. And he had requested a punching bag as he was always one to work out by himself, in the comforts of his own home. But, rarely would he ever need to use any emotional reasoning to throw in a jab. However, after tonight’s events, this proved to be an exception. He walked over to it and landed one swing, one simple punch. And that caused a puncture into the bag which would get it to spill its contents. His breathing grew rather shaky, his stomach grew storms.
I can’t be this way.
Not in front of her.
Be better.
Be better.
For her
Do it
For
Her.
And this was the mantra he’d sing himself till he ran out of shelves. And when he did, did things finally.
Crash.