We walked back to the main building, and I decided to satisfy my curiosity. "Zeke, how did you get here and when?"

Zeke's smile faded as he became more serious. "I've been here five years now."

He stopped walking briefly, kicking a small rock. "It's not really a fairytale story. I was a typical college student, partying and struggling to pass my classes. One night, I was coming home from a bar, and all of a sudden, I found myself in a field of glowing mushrooms with a talking fox who said I was "chosen".

I chuckled. "A talking fox? Really?"

"Hey, don't criticize it. The fox saved me, right after that it tried to eat me." Zeke chuckled and shook his head. " Anyway, next thing I know, I'm being dragged off to some mystical training ground, learning how to shoot fireballs out of my hands. Talk about a hangover cure, right?" "What brought you here, rookie?"

I sighed as I walked through the doorway. "Me? I was relaxing in bed, reading a isekai manga. You know, those stories about people getting transported to other worlds?"

Zeke raised his eyebrows. " Are you joking?"

"I'm not joking," I said, annoyed. "I was reading about a OP hero saving a fantasy world, the next thing I know, I wake up naked in a forest." I shook my head, still finding it hard to believe. "No, I'm serious. Pretty cool, right? You at least have a talking fox. I got dirt in my face and saw my pale skin."

We finally made it to the bathroom with a sign that said "Mystical Chamber of Relief" on the door. I rolled my eyes. Even the toilets were fantasy-themed here.

"What happened next?" Zeke asked after we walked in.

"Did you get any clothes?" I winced at the memory. "Finally, I came across a small hut that had clothes inside. A woman emerged from the shadows behind me and went straight to the point without even introducing herself." I mocked in a high-pitched voice, wiggling my fingers for dramatic effect while saying, "You are the Chosen One. I've heard that line so many times since I arrived here, I could buy my way back home with all the gold coins I would have."

Zeke chuckled while leaning on the fancy sink. "Let me guess, she was mysterious and cryptic?"

"You have no idea, how on point you are" I groaned, running my hand through my hair. "She wouldn't stop talking about "destiny" and "great power" and kept telling me to "embrace my true self." Meanwhile, I was still trying to figure out how to use the strange leaf toilet paper in the hut." I lost my train of thought, thinking about the seriousness in the woman's eyes. "But the catch was, she knew my name, my full name is. Rambling on about how it was written in the stars."

Zeke whistled quietly. "Sick. But hey, at least you get a cool introduction to the world of mysticism. My fox bit me and apologized, saying how I'm a hero and all that."

I shook my head and snorted. "I'm starting to think that being 'chosen' is overrated. Just look at us. We are in a bathroom that believes it is Merlin's personal powder room."

We walked back to the barracks and I couldn't help but think how absurd it was. The tapestries on the walls depicting heroic exploits seemed ridiculous to me. I mean there is a knight battling a dragon with just a feather duster.

"You know what the worst part is?" I said to Zeke as we reached our bunks, "I can't even post about this on social media. Can you imagine how many likes I would get for # "Just got told I'm the Chosen One by a creepy lady in a forest."

Zeke laughed and dropped onto his bed.

I looked up from my bunk and watched the constellations on the ceiling, which seemed to move and twinkle. What will happen tomorrow? More predictions? Another life-threatening situation to navigate? Perhaps I will wake up in my own bed and realize this is just a strange dream from playing games too late at night.

"Hey, Zeke," I whispered into the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"If I start talking wise or glowing mysteriously in my sleep, just suffocate me with a pillow, okay?"

He laughed loudly in the quiet barracks. "Of course, Chosen One. Sweet dreams of saving the world."

I drifted off to sleep, knowing that this strange journey was just starting.

"Rise and shine, heroes!" Finn roared, slamming a gong. "Time to face your destiny!"

Startled I woke up to this massive clanging noise and my heart almost jumping out off my chests. Seeing Finn by the door with this great big gong and grinning like some sort of lunatic wasn't how I envisioned my start into a new day.

"Can't destiny able to wait until after breakfast?" I grumbled, face-panting back into my pillow. Other recruits nearby were already putting on boots and strapping bits of armor like it was just any other day in the office.

"Come on, Chosen One," Zeke said, throwing a leather jerkin over my head. "You don't want to miss morning meditation."

I blinked, still half-asleep. "Meditation? Let me guess: That means 'pancakes and coffee', right? "

Finn's laugh boomed through the room. “Better than that! We begin every single morning walking with the ancient spirit. Definitely makes the blood rush!”

I crawled out of bed saying “Sure, because nothing says good morning like talking to ghosts that have been dead hundreds of years”

Outside the barracks, the cool morning air slapped me awake. The sun had only just risen up the horizon, painting the sky pinks and golds colors. It would have been lovely, if I hadn’t been stumbling over my own feet attempting to catch up. As we walked toward the meditation site, I asked Zeke, “So, what are we actually in for here?”

Zeke smiled mysteriously, smacking my shoulder. “You’ll see. It’s… enlightening.”

I eyed the stones infront of me, that are forming a suspiciously perfect circle. "Right. Because 'enlightenment' obviously involves creepy rocks."

Luna slipped a glowing marble into my hand. "You'll need this. It's a focus stone. Helps channel the realm's energy."

I held the stone, half-expecting it to explode or turn me into a frog. "And I'm doing this because…?"

"Silence!" shouted the mentor, his voice carrying through the still morning air. "Now, open your mind to the voices of the ancients."

As we sat in the circle, I felt my head fill with whispers, like a crowd mumbling in some language I couldn't understand. I felt a jump, almost dropping the stone at the surreal sensation.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Doesn't anyone else hear this?" I hissed, earning an elbow from Luna.

"Just listen!" she shot back in a whisper.

I tried. Fragments of lore, a prophecy or two, and, weirdly, what sounded like a recipe for some kind of magical fruitcake swirled in my head. Then, as suddenly as it began, the voices faded, leaving behind a weird tingling in my head.

The mentor's eyes snapped open. "What did you learn?"

I stared blankly. The others took turns reciting their revelations like pros. "A vision of the great battle," one said. "Hidden powers," another whispered reverently.

The mentor's gaze fell on me. "And you?"

I swallowed. "Uh… balance, destiny… and maybe cinnamon is the key to enlightenment?"

Behind me, Zeke and Finn were just about dying with laughter.

The mentor's face softened, and he nodded with the same reverent look he'd given the other students' visions. "Ah, the Parable of the Cosmic Fruitcake! A profound and often misunderstood teaching. Well done, young initiate!"

I blinked, barely processing his words. "Uh… thanks?

The other kids stared at me, some in confusion, others in what suspiciously resembled awe. Meanwhile Finn was practically crying, trying not to laugh and Zeke had to knuckle his fist into his mouth to keep it together.

"Perhaps you'd care to elaborate on this...unique insight?" the mentor invited, the light of barely masked amusement dancing in his eyes.

Oh boy. No turning back now.

I cleared my voice, trying my best to sound wise and serious, and began to speak. "Well, you see, the fruitcake symbolizes the interconnectedness of all things. Each ingredient represents a different aspect of life, all together combined to make something… greater than the sum of its parts."

The mentor nodded sagely, encouraging me to continue. "And what, then, does the baking process signify?"

I took another deep breath and summoned every ounce of my inner B.S. artist. "Baking is life itself! It's messy and unpredictable, and yes, sometimes you burn yourself-but at the end, you have created something...unique." I paused then, for good measure added, "A delicate balance of flavors and...energies."

The mentor was inclined forward, as if I'd just unlocked the universe. "And the cinnamon?"

"The spice of existence!" I exclaimed, warming up to the ridiculousness. "It is the… flavor of life, the pitfalls and excitement. Without it, it's just all cardboard and tasteless."

As I finished my improvised sermon, Finn was clinging to his sides, tears streaming down his face, while Zeke had given up half-collapsed in laughter.

The mentor clapped his hands together, looking seriously impressed. "Excellent! You all have done well today. Remember, true wisdom often comes in strange forms. Class dismissed!"

The other students turned to me with a new mixture of awe, respect, and utter confusion as they filed out, muttering to one another.

The instant they were out of earshot, Finn and Zeke exploded into howling laughter. "Dude," Finn wheezed, "that was… amazing!"

Zeke wiped his eyes, shaking his head. "The Parable of the Cosmic Fruitcake. I just can't believe he actually swallowed that!"

I shrugged, grinning. "What can I say? Guess I have a knack for cosmic culinary metaphors."

Just then, Luna walked over, clutching her potted plant, Herbert, in her arms. Herbert's vines seemed to wave in approval. "That was quite impressive," she said with a smile. "Although, I think Herbert felt a bit left out of your grand metaphor."

I turned and bowed theatrically to Herbert. "My sincerest apologies, Herbert. Next time, I'll be sure to include the role of photosynthesis in the grand cosmic fruitcake."

Luna snickered, and my heart did a little giddy flip. "I'm sure he'll forgive you. Eventually."

As we walked out, I couldn't get away from the feeling that something had changed. Maybe it was just the way people were looking at me now, or maybe it was even the weird twisted halls feeling a little less threatening.

Zeke threw an arm over my shoulder. "So, what's next for our resident Fruitcake Philosopher? Gonna tackle the deep meaning of stew?"

I snorted. "Please. Everyone knows stew is about life's balance and simmering down stress. But jello molds? That's the true key to understanding quantum entanglement.".

As my friends exploded into a cold burst of laughs, I saw the mentor in the doorway with a knowing smile on his face while looking at us. He winked at me inconspicuously before disappearing into the room again.

I shook my head for the umpteenth time, still trying to figure out how all this had happened. One minute, I'm just a regular kid in high school; the next, I'm doling out cooking wisdom in some magical land. At least I was getting better at faking it.

Luna nudged me. "Come on. We've got combat training next. Let's see if your newfound 'enlightenment' translates to not getting your butt kicked by animated practice dummies."

I groaned, tugging on my jerkin. "Any chance I can philosophize my way out of this one?"

"Not a chance, " Finn laughed. "But hey, maybe you can confuse them with a lecture on the spiritual significance of punching bags."