July 15, 1995
i knew the fact that my original mother died from giving birth to me.
father, who felt bad for me for having no mother, remaried an older woman. she is at least 25 years older than father
she is the one who kickstarted my overwhelming hate for women.
when father is still around and alive, she would pretend that she cares for me. smiling gently at me as she showers me with sweet nothings.
its been two years since she became my stepmother.
and now, father died.
i stood over his gravestone, still baffled on what fate befalled him.
father died from a car accident, where a drunk truck driver smashed against his car, crushing his body under its pressure.
the funeral was long, and this is where i started noticing something strange.
she didn't visit the funeral, nor that she show any reactions of grief about the death of her husband.
and as i returned back to my now empty house....is where hell began.
the first few weeks after father died is the more peaceful compared to the hell i had to endure for the rest of my life.
she has turned very distant and cold towards me now, unlike what she is used to be.
and when i tried to interract with her, she ignored me, shunning me away.
and then....it started.
that day, she starts to show her true colours in front of my very eyes. calling me deragatory insults, lifting her fists to beat me up, stomping and kicking me around while flaming me around with the words "pathetic" and "useless"
at that time, i thought that she was just too stressed out. i thought that she was just drunk. and i thought this only happened once.
i was wrong.
this torment now has turned daily on me, as everyday she would treat me as if i am her slave and verbally abused me to her heart's content.
on the least worst days, she would ignore my entire existence, shunning me away and starving me up.
and on the worsts of days, she would bring along a metal spatula, and beat me up with it. sometimes the metal spatula will be laced with hot oil, and i would get burn scars from it.
this entire hell lasts until my 10th birthday, where my father's extended family found out about the abuse, and reported that bitch into the court. they finally gained custody over me, and i was handed to my uncle, who greatly cared for me.
but its too late for them, i have been in this state for five years, if only they didn't found out sooner, i would still suffer.
however, the torment doesn't end there....
----
December 12, 2008
it is my first day at junior highschool.
even through the abuse i've gone through back at home, back at my days at kindergarten and elementary school has been great for me, as everyone there at least is friendly, althrough not very understanding.
and now, i have escaped from the clutches of that woman, now things will go nicely for me....or so i thought.
one week i spent at school was normal. nobody wants to approach me to become my friend, and nobody has been staring at me in a pleasant way.
i get it already, i am fat, i have scars on my face, i am ugly. i look like the worst a human being could look like.
but the next week, things turned upside down for me.
when i came to my seat, i already found it scribbled with grafiti, which reads death threats and piercing insults to me.
"die, monster. you dont belong in this world", "you are ugly, your parents must be dissappointed to have you", "you don't belong to us, you only belong with trash", "even rats will die from disgust just by looking at you", "go overeat until your stomach explodes, pig"
these are the insults written in my desk.
at that time, i stood there in silence, my heart penetrated by these insults. i shed a lot of tears, and i heard it.
"did you see that? he cried over some writings on the desk!"
"wow, i don't know that even eldritch abominations have feelings...well, too bad i'm not cleaning that"
"he is a man, right? ugh, he cried...pathetic!"
those voices belongs to my female classmates, sneering and laughing cruelly afterwards while i lament my misery.
i wanted to confront them, but deep down, i know that it will only got me into trouble.
i had a feeling that even if i reported it to a teacher, they will only listen but do nothing afterwards.
and so, i decided to ignore it.
i ignored the current torment i suffered, only to realize that things are only getting worse from now on.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
days has passed, weeks has passed, months has passed, and the suffering only adds up.
it got to the point where i know my tormentor's name, the identity of my bullies.
first is Sayo, she is the ringleader of all of this suffering, the one who conducted cruelty upon me while having a sinister smile plastered on her damn pretty face. she is nobody popular, and nobody of importance. but she has a vast network of friends that would do anything for her. even they would make me miserable in her name.
the second one is Mei, Sayo's right hand man and her most loyal of goons. and is also the one who usualy gives me physical beatings. she has given me a lot of broken bones and bruises around my body.
the third and last one is Nozomi, a seemingly timid loner. in truth, she is a nasty and manipulative person, she is the one who caused the most damage to me. as she blackmailed me and forced me to do disgraceful stuffs. at the times i thought i can find solace, she would ruin it and drag me back into the pit of despair.
these three turned my junior highschool years horrible. they practically abused me and made me conditioned to keep my abuse a secret.
as much as i want to, i never had the chance to tell the teachers about this.
it only got worse in highschool, which is the peak of hell for me.
even with Sayo and Mei gone, i still had Nozomi standing in my way of freedom, and her torment only got worse.
she spread lies about me online, and posted all of the disgusting things i did under her influence out of context, just to degrade my name even further. all because i tried to cut off contact with her, as i don't want her meddling with my life anymore.
i had enough of Nozomi, and this is how she decides to punish me.
as a result, i was shunned for the rest of my highschool years. nobody dares to even be in the same space at me, everyone is disgusted of me and they go as so far as to isolate me and scold me if i dare to approach them.
highschool is more of a hell than i thought of.
and i graduated, all alone, without friends and i bring the burden that is a ruined reputation under me.
and as if my life isn't ruined enough, every single university rejected my application offer due to what Nozomi did.
fortunately, i got accepted into work.....
....but even at work, the torment only grow.
----
February 1, 2020
five months after graduation, i got accepted as a dishwasher for a cafe
the store i worked at has all of its employees as girls.
in fact, i am the only man working in this cafe.
even in this female dominated space, i always tried my best to work hard.
i always make sure to scrub every dish clean, and i always tried my best to come up to work daily, as tidy as i can look.
my coworkers are mostly peaceful around me, i avoided talking to them, even ignoring them completely. in turn, they ignored me.
the boss herself seems to be a nice person at first, but deep down, she hides poison. lethal poison.
while she acts nicer to the other employees, she forced me to overwork myself. putting me through night shifts and when the janitor isn't present, i am the one who had to replace her. not to mention she constantly talks trash behind my back.
as much as i wanted to, i still can't lash out on her. if i wanted to keep my job, i had to stay silent.
she couldn't even spare her mercy on me. she continued her mistreatment of me for months.
and things got a lot more worse when a new employee arrived.
Taichi Shizu, a junior highschooler who decided to work part time here to support her family.
i couldn't care less about her, but i could've sworn she always looked at me with the intent of ruining my life.
the moment she worked here, she instantly became everyone....well, almost everyone's favorite.
and i always remind myself to stay away from Shizu, as i had bad feelings about her.....
----
"we're here today at OOO news on 12:00 AM,"
"today, the criminal Sasaki Ichigo, age 30, convicted of the rape and attempted murder of his underaged coworker will be executed"
"the execution won't take place in public, however news of his death will be announced once his execution is done"
"as he needs to serve his death sentence, after all"
ah....
i'm scared
i've never been this scared before. of all the fear inducing events i've felt in my entire life, i can't believe one day i would end up like this.
i did nothing wrong, i am innocent.
yet they won't listen to me. they never listened to my pleas, they never listened to the truth.
i did not touch her. i did not even approached her, i would never in hell even have the thought of forcing myself into her.
i had morals, i had my standards, and she isn't a part of my standard.
yet the court believed her lies. they believed every single thing she made up about me.
i saw her grin devilishly as the police took me away into custody. her crying is just an act, a facade that is easy to penetrate.
and this is how i will end?
now bound and tied into the electric chair, is this how i will end?
"electric current ready, electric chair set ready" one executor spoke to another, informing my last moments in this wretched earth.
ah.... this world is unfair.
this world is too unfair...
why has fate been unfair to me?
does God hate me?
no, scratch that.
if God ever existed, he will certainly punish those who abused me.
but Mother were never punished, she died out of her old age.
my bullies at school were never punished, i saw them now living happily either married or had a successful carreer.
my coworkers were never punished, they still worked normally without even sympathizing to me.
my boss were never punished, the cafe she is owning has turned even more successful day by day.
and certainly, that wench who ruined my life, Shizu.... she were never punished, society has drowned deep into her atrocious lies. and she continued to live normally, manipulating people to what her heart pleases.
it disgusts me that people like those, seeing monsters and psychopaths like those able to be accepted and blend into society.
"alright," one executor spoke out, "activating electro circulation in ten..."
he stared at me, seemingly with a bland look in his eyes. but in truth, he must be disgusted of me.
the officers didn't gave me a chance to say my last words, as they're horribly disgusted of me, seeing me as a beast that brings the end of humanity.
it doesn't matter, anyways.
screw them.
screw this society.
screw this pathetic world.
screw everyone in this universe.
i don't care anymore. i don't care about my life anymore.
i just want everything to end already.
i had enough, i just want to die.
"10....9....8..."
i closed my eyes as a form of surrender, as i already gave up hope.
that's right,
i already lost everything the moment my father died.
i have nobody i can trust, nobody i can care for,
"7....6....5..."
this world has given me things i absolutely dont want.
everything thrown at me is always a disaster, a horrible catastrophe.
"4....3....2...1..."
"pull the lever!!"
i have nothing to lose...
....all, except my worthless life.....