What a heavy burden I have been shouldered with! Through sheer guilt alone, this weight threatens to crush both my body and soul. The weight of this sinful deed, I am about to perform, you could say, Jun might never forgive me. A disaster such as this. What could be so devastating you ask? 'Tis a hurdle higher than any past obstacle to have obstructed my path.

Choosing between kids meal A, B and C...

A mere option this might initially seem but a hidden challenge lies behind these dastardly possibilities. With my severely limited budget, I must choose the plushy Jun potentially likes the best whilst going over the price requirement necessary to unlock the plushy toys. A Heruclean feat, not of strength or endurance but intelligence.

Should I choose A, Jun may receive the elephant plushy but the options B and C will be lost. The terribly cute tiger and giraffe plushies will be both be lost to the void of choice.

"Fear not brave hero, Zhang Shun! For I, Ai, guide of heroes have come to resolve your burning queries!"

But an intellectual, I am not, dear Ai. No matter how much guidance I receive, I say it might be useless.

"Rest assured! For I have already figured out the Sphinx's riddle. You need only purchase all of the kids' meals at the same time. That way Jun will be able to receive all the plushies! Feel free to praise my ingenuity mortal-"

"We're sorry, Sir. Plushies are limited to only one per customer."

"This genius has been defeated by modern consumerism rules."

Modern rules... are horrifyingly aware of what people might do to find a loophole around things. A lot of shenanigans in the past have taught modern companies to be ready for any future loopholes such as this one.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

"Zhang Shun, this never happened."

What never happened?

"Ahah... I see what you did there."

Now that it has come down to this, there is only one method left.

"Please, could you please, please give me two plushies at least? One of them's for my girlfriend and I can't let her down."

The brave I, who has fought monsters and lived to tell the tale, am currently bowing my head to a part time worker at a cash register so I can buy two plush toys for my girlfriend. There is nothing shameful about this, rather this should be viewed as something admirable. Willingly sacrificing my dignity for someone else's happiness. I could not be happier with my role in life.

"Zhang Shun, the Shakespearean English is starting to get embarrassing, I think it's time to stop."

I was starting to think the same thing myself... This is getting out of hand.

Certain hypothetically existing, mind reading people might be wondering why Ai and I are speaking in this old fashioned manner. We frequently resort to these comedy skits during long walks so that our minds are occupied by something and we aren't bored to death. Because boredom is an extremely dangerous emotion for both of us.

Our emotions basically feed off one another and become stronger. Let's say, the emotion we felt was boredom. Boredom is dangerous because it constantly breeds negativity within our minds and overtime we slowly get more and more depressed. We almost tossed ourselves off the bridge into the shui gui river one time because of how depressed we were. Luckily Jun Ling was there to stop us from doing any hasty things we would regret.

These comedy acts of ours act as stopgaps for any overflowing emotions.

Now back to my reality of buying plushies for a certain cute girl.

"Okay, Sir. You may choose two plushies but no more than that.

Hurray for empathetic humans! Even in this modern world controlled by money, the power of the empathy of humans still exists.

"Thank you, I'll take set A and B, the elephant and the tiger plushies and two large fries."

Farewell, giraffe plushy. Maybe in an alternate universe, Jun and you were destined to meet but not in this world.

Time to return to the cruise ship and show Jun Ling our spoils of war.

"Quit talking as if you live in the medieval ages!"

Sorry, Ai. The comedy routine seems to have been stuck in my mind. Oh well. It should go away by the time we reach the ship. Let's come up with a new comedy skit in the meantime to stave off boredom.