I was going to leave this ship.

No, that wasn’t quite correct. I mentally noted.

I was finally getting the fuck off of this hellhole and as I waited in the shuttle bay I went over a mental list again and again.

Things to say and do, what people needed to know, everything I was planning to do to save the human race from their alien overlords before I left everything to the government or someone who knew what they were doing.

Admittedly it was not much. I needed to tell someone important that aliens were real and evil. Then I needed to describe the technology I had seen to the best of my abilities. Though it pained me to admit it, delivering the news of the fallen was my last priority. I still carried their IDs in my pocket, one belonging to every person who had died in those cells.

They were still a serious priority of course, I could not forget them no matter how hard I tried. But the most important thing was continued survival of both myself and my species, delivering the news of the fallen was not time sensitive.

I knew it would have to be done via paper or word of mouth. The aliens were far too advanced technologically to win a fight electronically. It was possible they would intercept any call or message I tried to send. I however knew for a fact they kept paper records in sealed and armored rooms because paper could not be easily targeted.

All of my plans depended heavily on how long I was staying on earth and it was likely I would need multiple plans depending on various factors. If the current aliens in charge of me were willing they might officially contact Earth with all of the proof I needed.

If not I would find someone I knew, my family or close friends. They would believe me and they would have the time to tell others long after I left. With me I brought undeniable proof of the aliens and a paper containing most of what I knew.

The proof was a relatively simple object. I had found a piece of one of the Ackyon, a clawed hand. The corpse had been shredded to pieces but even after two weeks it refused to rot and felt oddly cold to the touch. I wrapped it in a torn waterproof bag that felt similar to plastic.

If I could find someone I could trust then they could show this to the government or something and then they would have to listen to what I would tell them.

A translated voice rang out across the shuttle bay, “Now boarding, enter the craft and prepare for headcount.”

I followed the line of insectoids into the shuttle, a high altitude stealth craft with an extremely angular design. It was painted vaguely blue and was one of the few things in my new home bearing any semblance of color.

“Forty heads and one human accounted for. Forty rifles? One, two, three-”

As I sat I watched the alien actually count each one, ensuring nothing was left behind.

The alien with blue stripes spoke again, “If we get down there and any of you aren’t wearing your chest plates I will execute you.”

I gingerly felt towards my chest, a familiar plate held fast against my fingers. It was obvious even through the layers of padding in my hazard suit.

One of the insectoids sitting next to me slapped me in the chest and then once more on the back. Each strike elicited a thunk from the plates designed to stop me from being cut in half in a workshop accident. It nodded towards Blue Stripes and I leaned back into my seat.

If I asked the aliens for permission to share information with humanity then there was the chance I could be told no. In that case they would then actively work to prevent me from doing so. I had my order of operation down. First when we got down to Earth I would need to find out where I was, namely which country.

There was no reason to bring me along unless it was for communicative purposes, so we should be stopping near somewhere that speaks English. I should not have any problem finding someone willing to believe me, or at least someone who can analyze the alien hand I was going to give them. I would give them the hand and a letter containing everything I knew.

The biggest problem I could think of that would stop this, was if the aliens I worked with did not know how many locations on Earth I would be barred from via a language barrier.

“Hey, uh… Where are we landing? Is it in America or- uh…”

“We are landing on the planet designated Human Habitat Two.” Blue stripes answered. “You will be helping us communicate with the local inhabitants as we scout for resources or objects of interest.”

I then had a very obvious question. “Why is it named Habitat Two?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do they speak English?”

“They speak the same human-ese that you do.”

That did not comfort me. Were there two worlds with humans on it? Has humanity advanced enough in the years I had been gone that they had colonized another world? Or had humanity already lost everything and been packed up like cargo to be shipped elsewhere as slaves?

“So we are going down there and doing what exactly?”

“Our objective is to scout for resources and objects of interest, you may be needed to facilitate communications between us and the humans.” Blue Stripes repeated.

“I know that but like, who will we be talking with? Local leaders? Rural farmers? Random woodsmen who bump into us?” I left the question open ended.

If we were to drop by the White House then a large number of my problems could be solved. I could hop off of this ship and trained professionals would be able to take over my duties immediately. Rather than one scared and confused human this ship could have dozens of Navy Seals or something.

“You will be speaking with humans if necessary.” Blue Stripes repeated once more.

I felt a pit forming in my stomach, “Do you know what our goal is? What resources and objects of interest are we searching for?”

The Blue Striped leader stared at me for a moment before replying, “I do not want backtalk. Be silent and follow commands.”

I began to wonder if he knew what we were supposed to be doing when we got to the planet. These were slaves and likely raised in an urban industrial setting, would the people in command even know how to approach a planet where most of the world was still claimed by nature? It sounded like the higher ups knew they needed to scout a planet but had no idea what ‘scouting’ meant.

Or maybe the command did know what they wanted, but failed to properly articulate what they needed from their scouts? It could be that being an alien world. they had no preconceived notions of what may or may not be important and they were simply keeping an open mind while investigating this planet. Every habited world could have different fauna and mineral formations to the point there was nothing obvious to scout for when first introduced to a planet.

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I decided on my reply, “Understood sir, I apologize for my comments.”

“It was inconsequential.” Blue Stripes disregarded me, the translators had recently been speaking incredibly clearly.

As he began turning away I seized onto the opportunity. Clearly brute force and demanding information would fail. The optimal route would be to convince him it was in his own interest to give me what I wanted.

“You said that you wanted me to help with human relations, are you familiar with more wild cultures?” I asked as innocently as I could. “Like have you ever met someone who grew up in a tribe in the forest or some such?”

The leader regarded me for a moment before answering. “No. I have not.”

“I see, I am just asking because as your human negotiator I thought it would be helpful for you to know that human settlements can vary greatly by their locations. For example cities in the desert would be willing to trade large amounts of money for ice, and cities in cold locations will pay a large amount for fuels like coal or oil. We could use those things to trade for information.”

“I understand. I can keep this in mind.”

Then I used this foothold to ask an innocent question.

“Do you know where we were told to embark? I would be able to plan negotiation points better if I knew where we were. I am worried I might not be able to prepare correctly without basic information.”

It was a flawless negotiation, I wasn’t suggesting anything. I merely brought up some information that he was not privy to.

“Our drop point is not set. However we cannot deploy into an unreasonably cold or hot area.” They responded.

I had heard before that the insectoids had little in the way of temperature regulation, though I had no idea whether it was natural or bred into them over time. There was no natural need for temperature regulation in an artificially heated environment like our ship.

“So then, if we wanted to reach a town we should consider dropping down near a river. Maybe somewhere in a forest?” I tried to reason.

“Our goal is not human contact specifically, but scouting and locating important resources and objects. Contacting the locals may be necessary to facilitate our goals.”

“Oh, well obviously. It’s just that humans will likely know where any dangerous objects or valuable resources are.” I said, “They might also be more informed on poisonous or deadly plants in the area, some can poison you just by touching them.”

Blue Stripes looked at me for a moment before asking, “Are some plants really so dangerous?”

I sank my metaphorical fangs into the weakness they revealed.

“It depends, in some areas plants build toxins to ensure animals avoid eating them. Some are thus quite toxic to the point that contact can debilitate someone. Then, you know, there’s the ones with sharp barbs, poisonous spores, carnivorous plants…”

“Plants can be carnivorous?” Blue Stripes asked and despite the monotone of our translators I heard fear.

“Oh yes, they aren’t like normal animals, they lay there with their mouths open and then when something ends up on them they snap close and begin digesting whatever it caught alive. You can’t always tell where they are because they are the same color as their surroundings.”

“I see. Then stopping at a human village to learn of nearby threats may be more important than I thought.” Blue Stripes gestured to the chair, “Wait here while I report to the higher ups.”

My heart sank, though I made sure not to give it away. The octopuses were supposedly much smarter than the insectoids, would they give my deceptions away or notice my ulterior motives? Venus flytraps were not dangerous to people even if they were technically carnivorous and you would have to be an idiot to become severely injured from a thorn bush.

I waited in silent fear to be told I was to be removed from the mission or punished by the leader I had deceived. Eventually a small message popped into existence in the corner of my visor and this time I answered it.

Do you believe local fauna may be a threat to our operations?

I responded in writing. Yes. I would like to learn from local human settlements about the subject to ensure mission success.

After a moment there was a reply.

Understood. I will message your captain about new orders. What supplies will you need?

I didn’t even have to question what I would need, I messaged back. Humans value gold and silver, I have seen little use for it on this ship, a fist sized chunk of gold would be more than enough.

Understood, I will alert the captain and you will assist in picking an embark location.

I had to stop myself from cheering. I could pick where we landed. It was obviously going to be Washington DC. I would chuck a package containing an alien’s hand and a few pieces of gold over the fence and then google a bunch of dangerous plants or something and tell everyone I was with that I had traded for it.

A map popped up on my visor and I froze in place, my sudden silent cheer replaced by dread.

This was not a map of Earth. I recognized nothing, the continents were misshapen and the oceans were far too small. It all but lacked ice caps, which should have meant Earth was flooded but instead it practically seemed to lack a sea.

I zoomed in, feeling the map grow in front of my face until it grew too pixelated and unfocused to make anything out. My panic surged with my heartbeat as they both seemed to hammer at my chest to the point I thought I could burst. The unfairness of it all brought a stinging to my eyes, I had mistakenly gotten my hopes up once again.

As quickly as the emotions had overwhelmed me I banished them. There was little time for anything but survival right now. If this so called ‘Human Habitat 2’ had humans then I would need to speak with them about everything.

I knew that most human cities sprung up around rivers and along coasts. Fresh water was an important resource and oceans allowed for easy trade via shipping. So I searched the coasts for an inlet and from there I followed a river until I found my source of civilization.

The map did not seem to render enough detail to make out a city, but miles upon miles of farmland? Discolored squares dotted the landscape near the river and the obvious deforestation had left its mark.

“I believe this will be the easiest place to gather information.” A rural area. Enough for me to learn of this place’s language and technological levels. I would have to scout this place out first, no longer sure of a friendly greeting. With the language barrier I could easily be seen as an outsider or some kind of neer do well. Even if this world was as forgiving as my original I will still be dropping into a random country without any identification.

They had told me this planet shared a language, but how did that work? They spoke “humanese”, did that just mean my alien leaders assumed humans all spoke the same language or did we actually share a language?

I could tell them it would be best to drop right in the middle of the city, cow them into submission and then convince the humans of the threat the aliens posed before leaving. But with the threat of the language barrier I feared we would be mistaken as enemies.

I needed to learn enough to give an actual advanced warning and make contact often enough that I could learn to replicate the technology on this ship and transfer it to the humans on this planet.

Thus the answer became clear. “We should drop in a few miles away in the forests here, then make our way this way towards the settlements. This will allow for minimal exposure to the forest and minimal chance of the barbarian humans from running from the magic alien ships.”

Blue Stripes spoke, his monotone translator buzzing for a moment, “It is a good plan. I was going to drop into the mountains over here.”

“Why?”

“It is a good vantage point to see things from far away.” They answered.

I wondered for a moment if he could not see the snow on that mountain, or if he just thought it would be the same temperature as the lands nearby because they were in the same general area.

The slaves may have never learned of places outside of their industrial hubs, they clearly lacked obvious knowledge that even most city bound humans would understand. Standing on the top of a mountain would not be comfortable or a good starting point for a scouting mission.

“Ensure you are seated, we are beginning our descent onto the planet.”

I sat down in the nearest seat and wondered if they had managed to pack the precious metals I asked for.

Then the ship began to rise and I felt my curiosity begin to spike. In movies you would see a shuttle leave the main ship through some form of glowing energy barrier designed to keep the air in. I had not seen any evidence that these aliens had energy shields or force fields or anything. I turned to look around the cabin but saw no windows behind the seated insectoids.

“How does the shuttle leave the ship without the ship losing air?” I asked, some kind of vacuum chamber or airlock surely.

“The ship moves through a long hallway filled with mercury. Electromagnets hold the mercury in place and the ship dives through it for a few moments.”

I nodded, “And how does the ship move through that?”

“Burns fuel. Goes fast? I don’t know.”

I made a mental note, the order I needed to steal their technology was metallurgy first, then ship designs, then everything else. Weapons and armor were probably up there somewhere.

“How good is your rifle? What size bullets do they shoot?”

Blue Stripes, a liberated slave, glanced at me before speaking.

“This big.” They held up a finger and a thumb measuring an approximate size.

I supposed that of all things a slave wouldn’t know, it was things about firearms and ships.

After a few hours of sitting quietly and wondering where I could go to learn these things on the ship I finally heard my next step.

“We have arrived, secure the perimeter.”

Blue Stripes stood and I saw him kick another insectoid awake. Forty insectoids charged out of the shuttle pointing their rifles at anything that moved, including the trees that were mildly shaking in the wind.

One by one they hit the ground and began crawling forwards on three limbs while keeping their oversized rifles up with one arm. They took cover behind the trees and in small divots in the earth.

I stepped out of the shuttle with my back straight and gazed upon the sea of green, the ground was covered in a thick moss that grew up the sides of the pines that surrounded us. The tree’s needles had fallen to the ground and made piles of brown decaying leaves and pinecones.

I tore off my helmet and ignored my leader who shouted in protest. For a single minute I closed my eyes listening to the symphony of trees waving in the wind and birds singing in the distance. I breathed the air and tasted the scent of grass and moisture.

I had almost forgotten how great it felt to breathe. The small enclosed box filled with recycled air and drank recycled water that had been consumed a thousand times was no substitute.

The minute was not long enough, but I could not stand there in the middle of nature being yelled at by my superior as long as I wanted. I put on my helmet and advanced forwards boldly knowing that there were no vents hiding monsters and no frozen corpses that blinked and spoke.

“Sorry, I thought I heard a predator. I took my helmet off to see if I could smell them.” My excuse silenced Blue Stripes.

We were on a planet and here I was in my natural habitat.