“Why the hell do so many Samurai go for being a foxgirl? We have like, what, a thousand by now?”
“Have you considered: Fops be cute?”
“Fops be cute, but fops with a Tyranid swarm is fucking badass. Go Myriad!”
- Anonymous mesh forum, 2057
Ever since we’d become a Hive-Mind, emotions had been something that could easily overwhelm Us. With the chorus functioning as an echo-chamber, it was far too easy to loose ourselves in the chaos, a reality that Sarah’s death had made painfully obvious.
But even then we’d been relatively in control, compared to the clashing hurricane that had taken hold of Us in this moment. A mixture of a rage, the likes of which we’d never felt before, a panic and horror that consumed our every thought, and the slowly creeping dread that tore at our heartstrings.
Jenna was wounded, badly wounded.
Truth be told I didn’t quite register anything else, the world was a blur around me, around Us. The harmony, fractured as it was already, was barely hanging on, but this required Us to do our utmost, and so we forced ourselves to endure, headache be damned. I hadn’t even yet managed to get halfway when Tiny exploded the ground against the fortifications in which Jenna had positioned herself. Bellona had already begun to call everyone back, like a tidal wave of destruction we raced to get there in time.
Something had sniped her, something that turned out to be a model Twenty-One-S. Two non variant Twenty-One’s were currently trying to get closer, abusing the created opening to breach the defences, and they were winning against Jenna’s biomechanical Sentinels.
I could feel my muscles tearing as I overstretched them, but I ignored it, simply pumping whatever biomass I had available to keep them going and repair them. With every last scrap of willpower I willed myself to arrive in time, eyes locked on the plant bastards that were trying to eat Jenna alive.
In a moment I arrived, just barely in time. The Twenty-One was so close to jumping Jenna, maw already open and dripping with saliva. For her part, Jenna was desperately trying to escape its clutches, but she was so badly wounded that she couldn’t even apply the medical supplies she had gotten for herself, let alone get out of the way.
I didn’t try any fancy tricks, simply bowling the massive xeno fucktard over with a roar, taking it with me to splatter onto the ground behind the fortifications, my limbs flailing with no finesse or plan, just pure rage and the insatiable desire to crush the antithesis entirely.
Snuffles was the next one to arrive, jumping the much bigger second Twenty-One, clawing at its eyes and face like a Valkyrie made real.
Focused on Jenna, I didn’t even feel the retaliatory hits that I suffered from the Twenty-One trying to escape my rampage, my mind reduced to nothing more than sheer will. There was only one thing that mattered, and that was to annihilate my foe as quickly as I could.
The medical corps arrived, the Medics jumping out of the Juggernaut before she had even fully burrowed out of the ground, pulling Jenna inside with haste, led by our Healer. In one smooth motion the Juggernaut burrowed down once again, extracting Jenna out of the situation as fast as she was able.
With the immediate situation dealt with, we fully let ourselves be devoured by the rage and anger, our minds consumed by pure emotion. The world became a blurry haze, the only thing that mattered was to repay these alien invaders for what they had done to the woman we loved so dearly.
I wasn’t quite sure when I passed out, although I had to at some point. Probably exhaustion, since I couldn’t remember taking any bad hits. All I could remember was Jenna getting wounded, Us crushing the Twenty-Ones that were responsible, and losing ourselves in the rage that had gripped Us.
For a long moment my mind and memory was failing me. I could feel the desire to just fall asleep once more, to not wake up for days. The only reason I was still awake were the drugs that kept my body going and energized.
Slowly I got up on shaky limbs, looking around. I was still near the Hive, breathing heavily. The night wasn’t over yet, so I couldn’t have been out for long. Dead xenos lay all around me, a veritable slaughterhouse of antithesis. My stomach was growling at me, my mind muddled from exhaustion, my body bruised and covered in small wounds not yet healed.
Despite all of that, I forced myself to check in with the others, to figure out how Jenna was doing.
Luckily she was fine, still shocked but her wounds had mostly healed. It was a damn close call, the Twenty-One-S managing to get a good shot into her. It had just barely missed her heart, ‘only’ piercing a lung and tearing straight through her torso. Without our intervention we weren’t sure if she would have been able to get the medical treatment she needed quickly enough.
The thought left Us paralysed with fear.
We had nearly lost Jenna.
She had nearly been killed!
That just wasn’t something we could ignore. We had to do something, anything, and soon. Defensive drones, maybe? Her own Queen’s Guard? Or maybe just better armor? We could probably put together something rather powerful. Maybe adapt some Hexclaw biology to make living armor? That would probably help.
Seraphine, you need to calm down. Take a few deep breaths, the situation is well in hand.
Kaysa ripped me out of my thoughts, and I was already opening my mouth to snap at her, but I realised that she had a point. We were exhausted, spent, and we still had some aliens to deal with.
Still, I couldn’t quite stop myself from worrying, from planning. The fear that we might lose Jenna or Chloe was… overwhelming. It was a chasm that was threatening to consume Us.
Perhaps you should pay Jenna a visit. It would do you good to see her in person.
Nodding, I sighed. She was right.
“Thanks, Kaysa… I’ll do just that…”
Walking was an absolute pain, and shifting my form into something more presentable was rather uncomfortable, so I decided to remain as I was, a weird mix of Reaver, Reaper, and Hive-Queen. While I walked over I checked out the situation, just trying to get a grip on things.
From what I could see, there were more or less no aliens on the surface anymore. Snuffles was forcing herself to collect as much biomass as she could, cleaning up any stragglers that could be found. She was stalwart, but it was clear that we all needed a couple of days rest.
The Juggernaut had taken Jenna quite far, something I was thankful about. The Legion Enforcer and a whole battalion of her Sentinels were surrounding them, making sure that nothing could come close.
Our Healer was already waiting for me when I arrived, looking just as exhausted as I felt, but rather glad with the outcome of the situation. It could’ve gone a lot worse.
My current form was a tad too big to get into the Juggernaut, forcing me to shift despite the discomfort that it caused. Groaning, I shrank back down into my Kitsune form, popping my back and stretching. Thanks to my shapeshifting I didn’t actually suffer any wounds in my new form, but the exhaustion was still there, the soreness of muscles setting in that didn’t come from physical taxation, rather a mental tiredness that projected itself.
One of the drawbacks of shapeshifting, it seemed. No matter, it certainly beat the alternative.
Jenna was laying on the medical bed in the middle of the room that made up the interior of the Juggernaut, looking surprisingly healthy considering that she’d had a hole through her chest not long ago.
Despite myself, I couldn’t help but give her a warm, dreamy smile, rushing over next to her and giving her an awkward half standing hug, gently pulling her close.
“Am I glad to see you’re okay,” I muttered, placing a small peck on her cheek.
“So am I. How are you feeling?” she replied, her voice soft, also pulling me close.
“Eh… Tired… Bit lost, to be honest. I can’t remember much of the last… however long it’s been since you got shot. Mind’s a bit of a mess at the moment. Other than that, though, I’m fine. And so is the rest of Us. Mostly.”
“Mostly?”
I sighed, pulling away a bit to be able to look at her. “We lost a lot of voices. Two thousand minimum, probably a lot more. The last few days have been taxing, and some weren’t around long enough to form any lasting memories before they got taken out. The first thing I’m going to do tomorrow is get that stupid upgrade, we should have the tokens by now. Honestly, we probably could’ve gotten it already, maybe, I’m not quite sure. We haven’t really thought about it much, too busy trying to keep ourselves together long enough to last out the expedition.”
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I frowned, an unpleasant thought coming to my mind. “Not to mention… As macabre as it sounds, the steady influx of new and refreshed voices was pretty much the only reason we were able to keep up the harmony for so long. I’m not sure we could’ve done even half as much otherwise.”
Her expression told me exactly how she felt about that, and I shook my head helplessly, fully understanding the horror and sorrow in her eyes.
“That’s… a lot worse than I expected,” she muttered, not meeting my gaze.
“I know… But we’re still here, so I guess that’s a plus. We have more points than we know what to do with, so we’ll take a few days, maybe a week or two to get some rest and see where things go.”
Finally Jenna met my eyes, and she studied me for a long, long moment. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, she was obviously thinking about something and I didn’t want to interrupt her thought process.
Then, suddenly, she pulled me in and gave me a long kiss.
My mind froze, the entire chorus suddenly becoming deathly quiet. Each and every one of Us stopped, all gazes locking onto our direction, even if they couldn’t see her directly.
When I was finally able to string two thoughts together again, I let myself be carried away by the kiss, the taste of Jenna, mixed with the small remnants of some medicine, the warmth of her body and the rising joy that started to envelop my whole body.
Time lost all its meaning, and when we finally separated after a thousand lifetimes or so, I couldn’t help but give her a warm, goofy smile.
“What brought this on?” I asked gently, unwilling to move away.
“I love you, Seraphine…” she said, voice slightly hesitant. “I… I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
Jenna gave me a small smile, her teasing smirk absent, replaced with a gratitude that I couldn’t quite place. “It feels silly, really… For so long I worried about if I actually felt that way or if I was just projecting. I was worried that I was still holding on to the past and that boyfriend I never had because of my hesitation… Only when I got shot by that stupid plant did I realise just how much I was wasting.”
She chuckled, gently shaking her head. “He and you are very similar in many ways. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t love you. That what I feel is just projecting my feelings… Funny how you need to get jolted like that sometimes before you can actually get over yourself, hm?”
“Life does tend to be weird sometimes,” I agreed, snuggling closer to her as much as I could while still standing beside the bed. “But next time, maybe get out of the way of fire? We don’t want to lose you, Jenna… Seeing you this hurt… It made Us very, very angry.”
“I know… And I apologise. I wasn’t paying enough attention.”
We remained like that for a long moment in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. Then the sound of a car drew my attention, the Juggernaut watching Bobby and Chloe coming flying over the hills in Bobby’s Jeep.
“Chloe’s here,” I said with a smile.
It didn’t take long before Chloe made her way inside of the Juggernaut, giving us both a smirk. “And here I thought I’d have to pay my respects on a deathbed.”
Then her expression shifted, losing the humour. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jenna. For a moment I was very worried, especially when Myriad went… a bit crazy.”
“Sorry for that,” I said with an apologetic smile in her direction, “We didn’t take it all too well.”
“You’re fine. I’m just glad that you reacted as quickly as you did,” Chloe said with a grateful nod, walking over and stopping on the opposite side of the bed. “So… Bahamut just debriefed the rest of us. Expedition is over, time to go home. Spark will be around for a little while, to help with the reforestation. The PMC’s and some Samurai will be around to keep an eye out for any xenos. Honestly, though, I kind of wanna go home.”
“I feel you there,” Jenna said with a long sigh. “These past few days were far, far too exciting for my liking. A couple of slow days are just what the doctor ordered.”
“Mhm… Might check in with Spark before we go, though. She and Tiny were talking about some upgrades, and I have to admit I like her a lot. She’s cute.”
“Planning to expand your harem after all?” Chloe said with a laugh.
I pouted at her, more playful than actually offended. “Maybe I’ll replace you? Spark and Jenna seem like a fine pairing.”
To hammer home the point, I gave Jenna another long kiss, making Chloe raise her eyebrows with a smirk.
“So… Finally decided to join up after all?” She asked Jenna with a teasing note to her voice.
“Well,” Jenna said, once we separated once more, “A near-death experience does shift your perspective on life. I was probably dragging my feet anyway.”
We all chuckled at that, the familiar casual exchange doing wonders to make me forget the exhaustion and tension of the past couple days.
Yawning, I laid my head on Jenna’s chest. “Let’s go say our goodbyes, before we head home. We need rest. Desperately.”
The Juggernaut brought us over to the HQ, nimbly dodging all the soldiers and folk busy packing up. It was the sort of organised chaos that was typical for such a large group of people.
People were milling about, some being briefed or debriefed, supplies were pushed about, the whole nine yards. There were groups of soldiers preparing to go out to do some cleanup, all of them making very sure that they had all they needed to deal with any aliens. Even PMC’s weren’t the kind of folk to run head first into a Hive like this, but they’d be able to deal with smaller models.
Glubber was around, organising a few smaller groups, while Bahamut was making sure all the Samurai were accounted for. I hadn’t checked the reports before, but as it turned out we had lost two in that last night, towards the end when all hell broke loose. It sucked, but what could you do?
The thought made me frown. It reminded me of my conversation with Jenna about all our losses. After so many of Us died in the last few days, it felt almost… irrelevant. And I didn’t like it. Was I losing my humanity after all?
The pain and nausea that came along with one of Us being ripped away from the chorus had become a sort of numbness. Really, it put the limiter into a sharp new light. Something like that was needed to ensure that nobody got too comfortable losing this many voices, to just throw themselves at any problems like we had done.
It should have more impact on Us. But it didn’t. And that was something that troubled me deeply.
Finding Spark not far from the chaos going on all around us, we stopped, Jenna, Chloe, and I all disembarking, followed by quite the number of Sentinels and War Drones. The Queen’s Guard kept close to Jenna for a change, which I approved of.
We were just about to head over, when I was distracted by raised voices. Not far from our little procession was a small group of soldiers, six all told. Four of them were standing to the side, looking highly uncomfortable, while another was shouting at the last one.
The guy who was shouting was proper old school military, down to the way he held himself and his uniform. Clean shaven, muscular, statuesque, and the kind of voice you’d hear from a drill instructor.
What threw me for a loop was the bullshit he was spouting. I couldn’t hear the details exactly, the bustle of the camp overshadowing a good bit of what he said, but from the little that I could hear, he was some kind of transphobic idiot going full asshole on the poor soldier standing in front of him. It made me wonder how he’d even survived so long in this day and age, I had the urge to behead him immediately.
Much to their credit, the soldier who was berated took the verbal vitriol without throttling the guy, something I greatly respected them for. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hold myself back if I were in their shoes.
I was just about to make my way over, my mood now thoroughly ruined, when a lightning strike shot past me. Okay, lightning strike might have been incorrect, but it certainly looked like it. I wasn’t surprised to see that it turned out to be Spark who looked about as pissed as I was at the running verbal diarrhoea.
The bigshot soldier guy stopped mid sentence, startled at the sudden appearance of the shorter woman next to him. Then his face went as white as snow when she started berating him in turn. Her tone was soft, soft enough that it was impossible to understand exactly what she was saying, but her expression told me everything I needed to know.
An inkling that was only supported by his slowly whitening face and shift in posture. He was ready to run. I doubted that he’d be in any kind of position to enjoy a peaceful life after Spark was done with him, something that I took great pleasure in. That pleasure peaked when she covered him head to toe in some sort of weird goo.
“Well, what a way to ruin the day,” Chloe muttered, shaking her head. “Not surprised, though, there are too many bigots like that in the force.”
“You had some experiences like that before?” I asked, slowly walking over to Spark who was now chatting with the soldier that had been berated.
“Kind of? Not exactly, and it wasn’t really directed at me, most of the time, but there were certainly some idiots who thought they were better for some reason or another that only really existed in their head. Frankly, I’m surprised she let him live.”
Spark turned at our approach, obviously having noticed us. She gave us a smile that didn’t quite hide the anger she still felt about it all.
“Seraphine, Chloe, Jenna. Nice work out there. Ready to head home?”
“In a bit, just wanting to say goodbye. Kind of ruined the good mood,” I said, with a glance at mister bigot.
Spark sighed, shaking her head. “Yeah… What a freakin’ moron… Honestly, I was half-tempted to fry him alive.”
“Why didn’t you?” Chloe’s voice made it very clear that she would fully support Spark if she did. “I certainly would’ve.”
“I don’t like killing people. Didn’t naturally sleep for over a week after I did it the one time. Sometimes I wonder if that restraint is a good idea, though.”
I snorted without humour. “I’d say no, but I also have a bit of a different take on assholes that just want to shout at people. Anyway, you gonna stick around then?”
Spark nodded, “Yeah. Not that long, the forests should all grow relatively quickly once I get the soil issues settled over the next few days. And I have to get Chlara here home.”
I raised my eyebrows in inquiry.
“I promised her a proper transition and a job, since apparently the PMC she’s part of doesn’t appreciate anyone who doesn’t fall under their definition of ‘normal’,” she made air quotes on the term, looking downright pissed.
“How far is it? I could lend you a shuttle,” Jenna offered.
Spark thought for a moment. “That would be helpful. It’s not that far, I work out of Indianapolis. Of course, I’d still have to prepare a few things, though.”
“Just let me know then,” Jenna replied with a smile, “We won’t be too far, so if you need a ride, just give me a call.”
“Thanks, will do. Y’all gonna take some time off?”
I nodded, stretching lavishly. “Yep. We all need a break.”
“Understandable. Well, I won’t keep you then. I still need to get started on the rest of, well, everything. Wouldn’t be the first time field work kept me up multiple nights straight.Might call ya when I’m done?” Sparks gaze was fixed on my two fluffy tails as she said that, and I had to chuckle.
“Sure, Sparky. Just let me know. We can cuddle all day long,” I couldn’t quite suppress an overeager grin, although I wasn’t sure if Spark even noticed.
Chloe did, however, gently bonking me on the head. “Pervert.”
I just gave her a side glance, a what-can-you-do-shrug, and a wide grin.