“Merchandise has only become more popular over the years. These days everything you might buy for your day to day life will be some kind of merchandise or another. Very few can afford the real high quality shit that won’t have ads plastered all over it. It’s just how things go, y’know?”

- Samurai ‘Flashpoint’ on the topic of merch in an Interview with ‘Samuraiz’, 2050

“Well,” Chloe said when we entered, the security keeping very far away from us, “Anything you want to look for?”

I shrugged, looking around the mall. It was a lot different from what I had expected, much cleaner, honestly. Oh, it wasn’t some kind of high class place, there were the normal mall cops everywhere, but it was a lot different from what I had seen on the net.

Then again, I also hadn’t particularly looked for any current day malls. Or any malls really, it was more the kind of thing you saw in holos and on your feed, not something you actively looked up.

“Honestly, I’m not sure exactly what we should do. There is no way in fuck I can afford anything around here, so I’m just tagging along to spend some time with the two most amazing and awesome people in existence.”

My comment made Chloe blush, while Jenna smirked, although I was almost certain I could hear the slight hitch in her heartbeat. Trying to act like nothing was amiss Chloe led us further and through the crowd of people eyeing our little group.

Despite all the onlookers, we quickly found ourselves falling into a pattern of window shopping. There was quite the variety of shops around, much more than I had expected, and we took our time to see what we might like. Of course, we’d most likely get them in proper Samurai grade quality, but looking didn’t hurt.

“How about this one for you?” I eyed a rather simple but obviously well made pantsuit, before giving Chloe a critical glance.

She looked at it, not very impressed, “Not sure I could pull off that waist. I’m confident in my looks, but that looks more like something you could wear out.”

She looked me over, then at the suit, then back at me again, “Yeah, you’d fit much bitter in that.”

I gave her a half smirking smile, “Apart from the fact that I’m way too short, and have not nearly enough ass. Or tits for that matter.”

She snorted, “You wanted to go under the shapeshifters, I bet that could help there.”

Her comment made me giggle, “True enough. What about that one?” I pointed at another window across the hall, then stopped when I saw a familiar face slowly walking down the hallway, lost in conversation with a young man next to her.

My eyebrows rose and I found a rather mischievous smirk sneaking its way onto my lips. “Now, isn’t that just curious.”

Chloe and Jenna both followed my glance and their eyebrows rose as well. Jenna was, of course, smirking just as I was.

“How about we go say hello, hm?” she asked.

I grinned, “Let’s!”

Together the three of us, and my entourage of course, made our way over until we were too close for the young woman to pretend we didn’t exist.

“Dominium Fortress!” Chloe said with a warm smile, and Clara’s face paled as she spotted us coming her way.

She was together with a rather handsome young man, although he was obviously still growing into his looks. His beard was a bit on the light side, but it fit him rather well. The detail that I took particular note of was that they were holding hands. How scandalous!

“Fancy meeting you here,” I said with a smile when we came close enough to not yell at each other and gave her a small wave.

“Uh… Clara, who are they?” The young man asked. From his body language, his sharply increasing heart beat, and the way he looked at us, he was checking us out, although he was very good at hiding it.

Clara scowled, “Those are Samurai… We worked together recently.”

“Well, you don’t seem to be happy to see us,” Jenna said one eyebrow raised, the faintest hint of amusement in her tone, “Afraid we’ll steal your boyfriend?”

Clara started to blush, but her scowl didn’t vanish, “Maybe. Myriad is the kind of disgusting woman who would try something like that.”

“Hey now, that isn’t true! My second most important rule is never to take a client who is taken!” I said, feigning shock.

“Oh, really? And how often do you check who’s knocking at your door to bend you over?”

At this point Clara’s boyfriend seemed to understand what she meant and his eyes widened. Poor guy probably didn’t know what to do with himself, and he was very obviously quite interested.

I dropped the feign look of shock and snorted, “Yeah, okay. But to be fair, if he’s paying that’s between the two of you.”

“Fucking thought so. Now please go away before you ruin him, yes? I quite like him the way it is and I would very much hate for that to change. And you don’t want me hating you.”

It might have sounded a bit ridiculous to hear that sentence from a young girl like her, especially one with that slight petite body who looked more ‘girl next door’ pretty than intimidating, but nobody was laughing because despite how cringe it sounded, she was right. She could probably do a lot about her hating us.

I raised my hands in surrender, “Okay, okay, he’s off limits. We were just here to shop, not trying to start any trouble. I’m also off the clock for the moment, so no need to worry your pretty little head about it.”

Clara nodded, “Good. Then we’ll be off to do our own shopping.” And with that she turned around and dragged the poor guy away.

“Well, she likes you,” Chloe said with a snort.

“I think it’s more of a confidence problem,” Jenna disagreed, still grinning but I didn’t miss the faint thoughtful gleam in her eyes.

“Please, has she looked in the mirror? Anyone running away from her is a fucking lunatic. I’m sexy, sure, Chloe is adorable and beautiful, and you got that elegance that steals hearts, but she in no way has to hide herself. Give her another year or two and a proper fashion specialist and she’ll put us to shame.”

“Remember Seraphine, you aren’t exactly normal. Not many people are as confident in themselves as you are. And she strikes me like the kind of person to worry a bit.”

Jenna was right and I nodded, “Fair. Anyways, shopping!”

Leaving Clara and her boyfriend to her devices, we returned to our slow paced window shopping, checking out every window we came across. Maybe I should have anticipated it, but the variety of the shops in the mall was quite extensive. Clothes, electronics, pet food, a hairdresser or two, some of those new modern occult places which I hadn’t seen in person ever, and even a sex shop.

The occult places were fucking weird. Like, I get that some people got really deep into some shit, but the crap they were promoting with bright neon lights was at best complete junk, and at worst the complete opposite of what they advertised. Who would buy a fucking New Christian Fridge that didn’t cool your shit properly? Or some fucking toaster that worked ‘with the power of the sun’?

I would never understand this stuff. Then again, I was not exactly their usual clientele, so maybe it was on me.

The sex shop was quite interesting. Since I typically didn’t browse anything, just used what was at hand in the Brothel or ordered some stuff online, even if it was only the cheapest crap, I only knew about them from hearsay. Or what I read online, and most of that was some variation on ‘I went to a sex shop and got fucked into next sunday by the most sexy employee who wanted to test all their toys on me.’

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

Truth be told, I had hoped a little that any of that was true, but even my horny ass realised that it was most likely complete bullshit. I had not expected to see giant neon signs telling me that any attempt to test the products was stealing and would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law by their legal team.

If that wasn’t a threat then I didn’t know what was.

“Wanna go in?” Chloe asked with only the faintest of blushes.

I shrugged, “If you don’t mind I at least wanna give it a look. Not that I plan to get anything, I got more sex toys than even I know what to do with, but I would be very interested to see how it all works.”

Since Jenna wasn’t against the idea, and Chloe obviously was into it much to my surprise, even if she was trying to hide it, we entered and found ourselves in quite the establishment.

I had no illusions that this might be some high class place, it was obviously for your average Joe to buy those cheap silicone pussies, or vibrators and dildos from china, whatever you preferred. But even saying that it was surprisingly clean. And what shook me most was the definitely not robotic employee standing behind the counter, looking like he was bored out of his bloody mind.

Which… okay, I knew I was weird, but I wouldn’t be able to be that nonchalant and bored in a room full of sex toys. Then again, I was also very likely to be suspiciously absent while I railed myself with whatever toys were in stock every ten minutes or so. Not exactly the person you want in this kind of shop.

“Welcome to ‘Wendy’s boutique of pleasure’, my name is Jonathan. Is there anything I could help you with today?”

Wow, that guy was uninterested. Like, he was actually droning out the words in the most bored voice I could imagine anyone having. He had absolutely zero shits to give for anything. In a way I could appreciate that kind of attitude.

“Hey, Jonathan,” I said, looking around, “Not really here to get something. I have more than enough toys at home, but I was curious to see it all.”

He wasn’t even fazed. “Of course. If you wish to inquire any more on the items in our stock, please feel free to refer to me.”

“Not to be rude,” I said, not able to suppress my curiosity, “But you seem very fucking unhappy with your life for someone sitting in a store full of sex toys. Like… You realise we’re Samurai, right? The huge fuck off alien drones not giving it away? I think you’re the first person I met as a Samurai who so completely didn’t care about me that I’m honestly inclined to give you a quickie just as a thank you notice.”

Not even that got any reaction out of him, he simply continued to stare at us without so much as a sign of life in his eyes.

“Please be aware that any kind of sexual activity in this store is a crime and will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

“I mean we can go outside. I’m not particularly picky about the location of a quick fuck.”

I only said it to see if he would react at all to it, but nope, he continued his placid existence and for a moment I thought he might just be one of those really expensive androids or something. The type that looks like a human proper.

“As much as I’m inclined to take your offer, I cannot leave the shop unless it’s closing time.”

The way he delivered that sentence with complete disinterest was something to be seen.

I shrugged, “Oh well. Suit yourself.”

Jenna and Chloe had been watching me with curiosity and amusement, but now that I turned to the shelves full of bliss they too started to move around.

“Wow…” Chloe muttered, picking up a rather sizable dildo that I would not let anywhere near any of my orifices out of sheer fear it would actually spear my insides.

“Yeah, I never understood why some people are so into trying to ignore anatomy with these things,” I said as I glanced at it, “I’ve seen bigger. Hell, I used one to bash a model Three’s head in. But I don’t think I’ve ever taken one before. Maybe once when I was really out of it, but even when I’m paid I typically don’t use them. They fucking hurt, believe me.”

“Wait, hold up,” Jenna spoke up, eyes wide in gleeful humour, “You brained an M3 with a giant dildo?”

I shrugged and grinned, “Sure. That gun Chloe gave me was empty and one of the fuckers was still alive. Had to use something and I had at least thought to bring another weapon with me. It did fuck the xeno up just as I thought it would, even if it wasn’t the kind of fucking it probably expected on seeing the damn thing.”

“I would have paid to see it,” she said with a small laugh.

Kaysa appeared next to me in a nanite drone that looked similar to me, but a bit different. “I have a recording of it.”

“Wait, what?”

“Wait, what?” Jenna asked at the exact same time.

I chuckled at the double delivery and Kaysa smirked.

“I was watching you when you were on the run, to figure out if you truly deserved to be a Samurai. The scene was amusing, so I saved it.”

That made me raise my eyebrows, “How did you even see? As far as I know there are no cameras there.”

“No, there are. They are easily missed, but Victor installed some after the incident with Lena. Technically nobody checks them, but he had to do it to make insurance happy. Not in any of the working rooms, so no need to worry about being watched.”

“I wouldn’t care either way, to be honest. If someone wants to watch me fuck my brains out on some randos dick then they can. Hell, might even be good advertisement. Good to know regardless though. And sure, you can shoot her the footage. Just make sure anyone else is censored, right?”

“Done.”

I nodded and looked back to the collection of toys. In my time as a joytoy, and even before that, I had seen quite the variety of toys and tested most of them at least once. But even I was surprised when I found some things. I knew what they were for, but considering that they were mostly meant for men in very specific circumstances I hadn’t seen them in action before. Between silicon cunts for your personal pleasure at home, to full blown life size sex dolls they had practically everything you might want to take the edge off.

I wouldn’t mind watching someone use them, but considering that I typically was the sex doll they used to relieve their pent up horniness, and I typically preferred to be the one in charge, even if I didn’t mind playing submissive, it wasn’t like I’d be screaming for the opportunity either. If someone wanted to drain their balls, I had enough holes they could use for that. If they paid, of course.

Okay, maybe also if I was high off my tits, but that was a different topic entirely.

Eventually though we decided to leave, wishing the still bored out of his mind Jonathan a pleasant day.

“I have to admit,” Chloe said quietly and with quite the blush, “I am very curious to try out some of those. They looked… really interesting.”

“Honey, if you wanna try those toys and cum your brains out just say the word. So far I kept it in my completely drenched panties, but I won’t say no if you come to me for some experimentation. You have no idea how hard I want you to rail me with a strap on, or how hard I want to eat your sopping cunt out.”

I may have come off a little strong, considering that I was feeling quite aroused after all the options in that shop, plus that I’ve been without sex for like three days now, but neither of them seemed to mind.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Chloe said softly, with a blush that might be the fiercest one I’ve seen on her yet.

It was a bit hard not to imagine her sitting on my face, or clamping my head between her squishy thighs, but I did try my best to remain calm and not think about it too hard. It did put into perspective though that I really should get something to keep my libido in check. If we’d talk about this anymore, I’d probably jump her right and here and now, in public, and damn the consequences.

We strolled along, finding this shop and that, checking some out while skipping others, until Chloe saw something and more or less yanked Jenna and me after her in her sprint to get to whatever she had found.

It was, surprisingly enough, a Samurai merch store. We had passed a few on the way, but she was more or less glued to the window of this one. And the object of her affection was a giant stuffed bear, easily three meters tall. It looked a little weird, full, if fluffy, armor and giant gauntlets that looked like they could fuck up quite a few things, and I had no clue what Samurai it belonged to.

“Uhm, Chloe?” I asked, a bit confused.

She turned to me with so much glee and excitement in her eyes I could have sworn they took the shape of stars.

“That’s Bob! He’s super cool! He’s a mecha bear that belongs to Teddy, a Samurai from Calgary! She’s sooo cute, here, let me show you!”

And with that she pulled me inside, going full fangirl on that Samurai she was talking about.

After a very, very confusing and very one sided ‘discussion’ that lasted roughly fifteen minutes and told me everything I had to know about Teddy down to the colour of her favourite hoodie (Yes, Chloe knew everything), she finally more or less jumped the poor clerk, some poor acne faced teen who was himself going completely nuts about three Samurai in his store, and outright bought two of them.

Yes, two. No clue where she wanted to put them or why she wanted to have them, but now we would be able to pick up two supersized teddy bears in a couple of hours.

Truth be told? Watching her go fangirl on something was insanely adorable. As was the shop clerk who couldn’t stop asking questions and together they riled each other up with excited glee until Jenna and I had to physically drag Chloe out of that store almost an hour later.

“Sorry…” Chloe said with a fierce blush and even fiercer embarrassment, head hung and trying to make herself very small.

I giggled at that, “Silly… It was kind of cute to watch you, you know? The way you went completely off the rails. Honestly, I’m a little jealous of that Teddy girl. Do I need to worry you’ll leave me behind?”

Her face registered panic and she looked at me with horror. “Seraphine. She’s 16. There is no way in hell I’m going even near her in any of that direction. She is cute, yes, but… No!”

I giggled again, then pulled her into a long hug and gave her a loving smile. “You are too cute. I’m joking, Chloe. Don’t worry, I know you’re better than that. And I know how old she is. You told me like four times. I’m just teasing you, my adorable little bloodhound.”

That made her blush even more, at which point I was honestly considering stopping simply because I was concerned she might actually suffer some blood loss from popping a vein somewhere.

“Oh…” was all she could muster and I couldn’t help but laugh. It was a great day.