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A World Without God
thë_åftermàth

thë_åftermàth

The green-tinted image burned itself into my retinas.

An image I wasn’t likely to forget anytime soon.

There wasn’t any other way to look at it. One of these legendary beings turned out to be a regular customer at a small, inconspicuous bookstore. It was unbelievable to the point my brain refused to accept what I had seen. When I grabbed the device from Ayumi, Shiina had already vanished, along with the other angels, leaving the street deserted once again.

A multitude of questions bubbled up in my mind, but none of them had time to gain concrete form. Shortly after Shiina disappeared, another person took her place.

Seconds later, another person came, and another.

If their movement was anything to go by, then we were in deep trouble.

“Ayumi, we have to get away from here.”

She was still lost in Wonderland, so she took a while to react. When her gaze finally locked with mine, I started my explanation with a hurried tone. “A ton of angels are showing up. If they see us now, it’s all over.”

That sentence was enough to switch Ayumi back to normal.

“Oh crap. Let’s move away from the windows and hide somewhere,” she said.

We hurried to put away all the items Ayumi had brought along. Following her lead, we navigated through the dilapidated building, searching for somewhere to hide. It was unlikely that the angels would come in here searching for people, but we couldn’t take any chances.

Eventually, we found a small alcove in one of the rooms. There was no door, but the room was deeper than it seemed from the outside. We hid inside and collapsed on the floor, side by side.

We held our breaths to stay quiet. I was so focused on trying to not make a sound that I didn’t notice Ayumi’s surprise attack. Out of nowhere, she grabbed my left arm with both of hers and embraced it against her chest.

Hey, when did this turn into a romantic comedy?

My heart started racing despite myself. I steeled my mind to ignore all the sensations on my arm and whispered to her as calmly as I could, “I know this is a tense moment, but do you really have to do this?”

“Shut up! This situation is already weird enough. It feels like a serial killer is coming. I’m a washboard, so it shouldn’t bother you one bit.”

No, no. It bothers me a lot. No matter what you say, I can still feel everything.

Instead of a reply, I sighed. I couldn’t tell her to let me go when she was this frightened, so I had to deal with the sensation. Somehow.

We stayed in this awkward position, not moving or whispering.

After some time had passed, Ayumi closed her eyes and squeezed my arm even tighter. I closed my eyes as well. With one of my senses gone and the other knocked out, I tried my best to focus on listening. I heard silence for a good while.

But at some point, I began hearing footsteps and someone humming. Footsteps that seemed to come closer and closer. Ayumi heard them as well and tensed up. When the steps came close enough to feel their vibration through the floor, I thought it was the end for us.

“Hey, kids. What the hell are you doing here?” A man’s voice rang out.

I opened my eyes. Standing before us was a man in a construction uniform.

At that moment, two very opposite feelings clashed inside me.

I’m glad we got through the absurd situation unscathed. But there really is no good excuse for a couple of high school students to be holed up inside an abandoned building, is there?

“We… uh…” I tried to mutter a random excuse.

“This isn’t a place for kids to hang out. If you wanna have sex, go to a hotel or something.”

At the mention of the s-word, Ayumi bolted up, red as a beet, and scampered away in a flash. I hid my embarrassment a little better, I think. I apologized to the man, and followed Ayumi’s hurried steps outside.

Once we left the abandoned building, I tailed Ayumi through the now populated streets.

Seeing so many people walk by as if nothing just happened might be stranger than the literal ghost town from before.

I was still restless, eager to talk about what we had just experienced. Ayumi, meanwhile, was quiet as a tomb. I tried talking to her, but even before I could say more than “hmm,” she cut me off.

“Takkun, how about we have an emergency strategy meeting at my place?”

I glanced at her, confused. Then it clicked.

Ah, that’s what she means.

There might still be angels lurking around to make sure everything was back to normal. If they overheard us talking about what occurred here, they’d surely go after us.

“Okay. I… I think I’m free,” I said as naturally as possible. Though, if any angels were listening, they would certainly laugh at my poor attempt at being discreet.

“Great! I’ll ask my mom if you can come for dinner. You talk to yours so she can come by too.”

Much to my surprise, Ayumi managed to keep up appearances. Other than talking to her mom, she didn’t use her phone for anything else nor did she mention the incident once.

Why can’t you be like this more often?

She could be cute when she wasn’t acting like a freak. It would have made my life much easier. But alas, that utopia wouldn’t last.

* * *

After a train trip basked in the sunset, we found ourselves at Ayumi’s place.

“Takeya, welcome. Good to see you,” Ayumi’s mom said with a warm smile. “Please, come in. I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

After the usual ceremony, we went upstairs to Ayumi’s bedroom. I had been to her house countless times before, so I knew its layout like the back of my hand. Her place and mine, being from the same neighborhood, were nearly identical, save for an extra bedroom at my place.

That said, the thing that distinguished her bedroom from mine was the sheer amount of clutter it contained. There were used clothes scattered every which way, and it was filled to the brim with trinkets. Some were haphazardly strewn around the floor, others laid on the furniture, and some more hung from the ceiling. There was no rhyme or reason for any of the objects she had been collecting over the years. As long as it grabbed her attention, she would take it to her hoarder's den. There were old game consoles, vintage books, VHS tapes, and vinyl records from bands she didn’t even like that much. There was also a collection of baseball cards from overseas, a creepy ceremonial mask from some tribe in Africa, and—you get the idea. I’m not even going to touch on her massive collection of hairpins.

I shuddered as I took a step inside.

Gosh, this place just gets more and more uncomfortable each time.

Trying my hardest to ignore the chaos, I focused on Ayumi after closing the door behind me. I swear I could physically see the stress leave her body. She let herself fall onto her unmade bed face-down, and let out a big sigh before rolling over onto her back.

“We made it back, Takkun,” she said, her fist up in the air. “I’m pretty sure we aren’t at risk of being overheard anymore.” Her smile beamed brighter than the spotlights of a baseball stadium.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

Ah man, that acting from before could have lasted a little bit longer.

“So, what are you going to do now? Make a video talking about your experience?” I asked.

I was expecting a resounding yes but her answer surprised me. “Nah, no way. If I published anything, it would bring unwanted attention to ourselves.”

“But it would bring you a ton of traffic.”

“That’s true. But at the end of the day, that’s just a little project to earn some money on the side. Not worth the risk.”

Wait, you’re getting paid? Don’t tell me that’s how you paid for the goggles.

“What I want is to meet an actual angel in the flesh,” she said, resoundingly confident. “And even without the footage, we have a strong lead now. We have to confront Shiina as soon as possible.”

I knew it would come to this. After all, her ultimate goal was to meet an angel, not just prove they existed.

However, her suggestion felt wrong to me. A serious mistake. Despite the innumerous times we went on ridiculous and occasionally dangerous trips, this was crossing a line for me.

Breathing in and out a few times, I braced myself for what was coming. I knew my next words would be impactful, but I never once imagined the consequences they would instigate.

“I don’t think we should talk to her at all.”

Ayumi’s expression took a downturn in an instant. It was like she took off a mask and put on another.

“Takkun, what do you mean?” she asked, her voice raspy.

“First of all, we don’t even know if that was really Shiina in the first place,” I reasoned.

“But—”

“We know next to nothing about angels. We don’t know why they cause people to faint. We don’t even know if those things we saw are their true forms or if they were mimicking a human. We might have also been seeing things that weren’t really there. The quality of that weird contraption wasn’t great, after all. We don’t have enough information at this point.

“If she is an angel, it’s too dangerous to approach her without any more concrete knowledge. If she’s not, then it’s rude to bring a ludicrous story like that to someone with no evidence.”

Ayumi narrowed her eyes. “We don’t have a lot of info, sure. But if we let this opportunity go to waste, who knows if we’ll ever get another one. Shiina might not even stick around here forever. If we have to embarrass ourselves doing it—”

“That’s not—”

The girl raised her voice. “What? Are you afraid of driving away your precious customer?” Then she lowered her voice to an almost imperceptible tone. “You’re into her after all, aren’t you?”

“What? Of course not!”

That isn’t the issue here.

Bothering Shiina or losing a customer wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. The problem was that Ayumi was on the edge of a precipice, and a single misstep could send her tumbling down.

Sure, she might have been able to talk to Shiina and finally fulfill her dream of ten-odd years.

But what if she fails? What if Shiina doesn’t cooperate or feigns ignorance? What if it turns out we are wrong about her? Then Ayumi will become even more obsessed and go right down the path of complete ostracization by society. I know how important this is for her, but I don’t want her to end up like that.

I really don’t.

So I lied.

For the first time in a long, long time.

“I think we should take a more calm, scientific approach,” I said with a gruff voice. “Take our time, make more investigations, maybe post the story anonymously online and check for reactions.”

Ayumi stood up in a haste. “So now you’re the one trying to be all scientific about this, huh?”

“I just think we should be more careful, that’s all.”

“Is that so?” Ayumi said with her fiery eyes fixed on me. “You could at least tell me what you’re really thinking… Well, it’s not like I need you to come with me every time.”

“Wha—”

“You don’t even like coming anyway, so it all works out great. Even now, you still don’t believe in all this crap, do you? You can just keep being a closet nerd like you’ve always wanted.”

Damn. That hurt, Ayumi. That seriously hurt.

It was the first time she had ever spoken to me like that. I was so rattled I couldn’t even reply.

She noticed this, and hid her eyes behind her disheveled bangs.

“Why… Why don’t you get it?!” She cried out.

“Get?” I asked with an angry tone. Then, the emotions overcame me. “Get what, Ayumi? What am I supposed to get?! Why the hell are you so obsessed with this crap anyway?! And why are you always avoiding the issue? You did the same thing earlier!”

My voice had gotten so loud at this point that Ayumi visibly flinched, shrinking into herself.

“S-Sorry,” I hurried to say.

Ayumi stared at me for a good few seconds, her eyes tearing up

“I’m gonna help my mom with dinner,” she said as she dried her tears with her sleeve. “Just hang around here or something. I don’t care anymore.”

With that, she left the bedroom in a haste without looking back. With the discussion killed, I was left staring at the mountain of trinkets adorning her room.

Without even thinking about it, my closed fist found its way onto her desk.

It hurt.

Shit. I seriously blew that one, didn’t I?

* * *

Dinner was awkward to the point of being nauseating. Ayumi and I ate in silence and never spoke to each other. My mom and Ayumi’s parents had probably heard our shouting upstairs, but they didn’t touch on the subject at all. The conversation could be described as a back-and-forth between me and Ayumi’s parents, and her and my mom, with these groups never crossing paths.

My attention gravitated to the news playing on repeat on the TV. This channel was known for covering sensational news, and they were having a field day with all the recent supernatural events. It even covered the myriad of supernatural incidents happening all over, but they never made the front news. That was, until today. The opening segment was about a mass hallucination— people saying that the world had lost its color for minutes.

Of course, not a single one of these bizarre situations had been recorded, probably related to the fact that no one could record them. There were so many stories about devices breaking that some fancy analysts thought we were being attacked with electromagnetic pulses. However, Ayumi was so firmly down in the dumps that not even this surge of reported paranormal activity was enough to grab her attention.

On our way home after dinner, traversing the short distance between Ayumi’s house and mine, my mom and I found ourselves in an awkward silence.

“So… wanna talk about it?”

She didn’t even ask what was wrong. Jeez.

I concluded that keeping things from my mom wouldn’t work out in the long run, so I decided to talk—omitting the more extraordinary details, of course.

“You know how Ayumi is all about the supernatural stuff, right? She wants to do something that might lead her straight down the path of lunacy.”

“And so you’re extra worried?”

“I wouldn’t be talking about it if I wasn’t.”

She giggled a bit, as if mocking me, and a cloud of condensed vapor escaped her mouth. She had this habit of laughing at just the right time to piss me off. This moment was no exception.

“You two do care for each other in your unique ways, don’t you?”

I wonder if Ayumi cares about me at all now.

Seeing my twisted expression, my mom dropped the jokes.

“Although what you say is concerning, I don’t think Ayumi’s the sort of kid to let herself get caught up in craziness like you believe she will.”

I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean? She’s completely obsessed with all that junk.”

Mom giggled yet again. It was still annoying

“You don’t understand her as much as you think you do.” Before I could ask what she meant, she continued. “She may talk about all this strange stuff, but deep down, she has a good head on her shoulders. It’s just her way of living her life to the fullest, in a sense.”

Ayumi’s words from before came back to the forefront of my mind.

“You mean it’s a form of escapism and she’s faking all that?”

I had considered this possibility as a way of explaining Ayumi’s erratic behavior. But I concluded that she was being honest with herself. Her own words from before all but confirmed that. She wasn’t immersed in fantasy—she believed everything to her core. I took the time to explain all that to my mom, but she didn’t seem convinced.

We had already reached our house by the time I finished, and I couldn’t wait for another second to get inside considering how cold it was. But my mom turned back to me and said with a serious tone, “Escapism is most likely a factor too. You know how difficult her life has been.” She flashed me a reassuring smile. “But I don’t think that’s all it is. I wouldn’t say she’s faking it at all. It’s more like…hmm… she’s riding along with the fantasy.”

Riding along, huh?

“She genuinely loves going out with you on those investigations for the sake of going out. Not because of what she might find, but…”

She left that hanging, which slightly pissed me off. Instead, she opened the door to the house.

“I’m sure you two will get over this soon enough. Just make sure she doesn’t get too tangled in her thread and do anything dangerous. And of course, I’m grateful that she’s able to get you out of the house for reasons other than school or work.”

Thanks, Mom...

She gave me a wink and we entered the house, signaling the end of our conversation.

I tried to distract myself from the situation by playing some games but the unwanted thoughts kept creeping back in, and I couldn’t focus. No matter what Ayumi said, I still thought approaching Shiina was a bad move. Ironically, the fact that we had experienced a genuine supernatural incident made things even worse.

And to top it all off, she still refused to tell me the reason why she was so obsessed with angels in the first place. What could possibly be so important that she was still keeping it a secret despite this situation? I’m sure we could have come to some sort of truce if at least I understood her reasons for being so obstinate.

Perhaps there was another way of solving this situation. What might it be? I had no clue at the time.