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A World Without God
împคʂsє Part 1

împคʂsє Part 1

I wasn’t sure how Ayumi would react the next morning. After all, this was the first time we had ever had a serious fight. Knowing her, she might act as if nothing had happened.

That hope dwindled during the commute to school, which I was forced to make alone in the freezing cold.

When I got to the classroom, Ayumi was already sitting in her seat, surrounded by her friends. She glanced at me, indifferent, and continued her conversation right away. I said nothing to her, but instead made a bee-line to my seat without so much a glance in her general direction. Daichi made a perplexed frown upon witnessing our non-interaction, but didn’t touch the subject.

That is, until lunch hour began.

“Yo, what’s going on with you two? A lover’s quarrel?” Daichi asked as soon as Ayumi and her friends made their way to their usual lunch corner.

“You really think it’s something that simple?” I asked with a bit too much intensity.

“Yikes. So it’s something serious.”

“Yeah. She wants to do something preposterous and I’m not willing to go along with her.”

“Oh really?” I knew he was trying to start something to annoy me, but my face probably conveyed that the situation was too serious for that. “I knew something was up since she showed up alone this morning, but I had no idea it was that serious. Did you see her hairpin? I almost collapsed in shock!”

I almost gave in to the temptation of observing what design had brought about this comment, but I refrained from doing so.

Ayumi plans to pretend I don’t exist, and I shall do the same.

“Well, yeah. You know how everything with Ayumi tends to be hyperbolic.”

“You sure it isn’t your fault though?”

I raised my gaze, prepared to see Daichi’s annoying grin, but to my surprise, he was stoic.

Wow, he can do it if he tries.

“She’ll say it is, but…” I paused. “No. I’m not willing to give in on this matter.”

“Ugh. From the way you said it, it looks like we’re in for the long run. But I do hope you two make up soon. I can’t bear to watch another interaction like you two had this morning. It hurts my poor heart,” he said, faking a sniffle and wiping away non-existent tears.

Where did all that seriousness from before go?

Unfortunately for Daichi, the situation didn’t improve one microgram for the rest of the day. Ayumi left school as soon as classes were over, leaving me to once again ride the bus alone.

I can’t say I didn’t feel a bit lonely.

* * *

That entire week was hell.

During the entire time, Ayumi and I didn’t speak. The entire class noticed our feud right away, and would stop chit chatting when I inevitably entered the class later than her just to see how we’d interact. Ayumi was aware of this too, but she didn’t care. Her stubbornness stat was already maxed out by default, so her being non-responsive didn’t surprise me at all.

To pile even more crap onto me was the fact that everyone wanted to meddle. Multiple people grilled me, trying to find out what was going on between us. I’m sure most had good intentions, but they became increasingly annoying as the shallow conversations kept piling on. Most were Ayumi’s friends, trying to win me to her side without understanding the crux of the argument.

My only refuge from the situation came whenever I finally got home from school or work. I numbed myself by rewatching my favorite anime. By the time Monday came around, I slept right through the morning classes. It wasn’t worth even going to school that day anymore. And since I had already skipped a day, what point was there to go the next day either?

Of course, soon people noticed I wasn’t going to school. My mom, to her credit, did try to talk to me about the situation, but I shut her off. I’m ashamed to admit I took advantage of the fact that she was too busy with work to be concerned with me. My phone lost its charge at one point and I didn’t bother plugging it back in, so no one could reach me that way.

Eventually, the class president came to my house to ask what was going on. I refused to open the door for her, saying I had a cold, and she just left the school prints on my mailbox. Daichi also came around at some point, so I told him the same cold excuse to make him go away.

With that, I thought I could avoid my responsibilities for a while longer, but on a certain day, the doorbell rang. I didn’t even know what time it was. I kept my bedroom blinds close at all times, and I had completely lost my sense of time. I lumbered out of my room, making my way to the front door.

It’s the afternoon, huh? Probably the class president again.

In case it was Daichi, I took a peek outside through the peephole.

However, to my surprise, it wasn’t the class president nor my annoyingly handsome friend.

What is she doing here, of all people?

It was a slight surprise seeing her here, considering our relationship, but I didn’t think twice about it. It was just another attempt at someone meddling into an affair they knew nothing about. So I made my way back up to my room.

However, the doorbell rang again. I ignored it.

I sat down at my computer and booted up a game.

The doorbell rang again. I ignored it.

I started playing the game, but the doorbell rang again. For the fourth time, I ignored it.

The damn doorbell rang so many times I stopped counting. It must have been over ten minutes of constant ringing.

At this point, I started to become concerned about her. It was still around freezing outside, and she’d been standing in the cold unprotected for that long.

I’ll just tell her off and be done with it. Why is she so insistent anyway?

Once again, I lumbered to the front door, but this time, I opened it ajar.

“What do you want, Futaba?”

“Oh, finally you opened the door! Were you trying to turn me into a popsicle or something?”

Kotori Futaba was just standing there, with her trademark gym jersey on, and a carefree smile on her face. Despite what she had said, she didn’t seem too concerned about the cold at all.

What the hell is she made of? Is she even human?

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

“I was expecting you to just leave. By the way, just go home. I have a cold, so you might catch it if you hang out around me.”

“No waaaay! I’m freezing out here! Come on, let me in so I can warm up a bit at least!”

Despite her over-the-top reactions, I could tell she wasn’t actually uncomfortable. But before I could tell her off, she held my front door with some surprising strength and sneaked inside.

“Wha…”

I was powerless to stop the trespasser, who made a beeline for my living room. The cold was getting to me as well, so I closed the door and went after her.

“Ahhh, it’s so nice ‘n warm here!” She said, already plopped on my sofa.

Did no one teach you any manners, lady?

“I’ll be upstairs in my room. When you’re all warmed up, just go home. It’s getting late. Your parents will be worried if you stay out after school for too long.”

I started making my way upstairs, but her voice stopped me. “Don’t be such a stick in the mud! Since I’m already here, let’s hang out and chat for a bit.”

“Chat? About what?”

I really don’t want to talk to her about anything right now.

“Hmm, I dunno,” she said with a teasing tone. “For example, the reason you and Ayumi are fighting?”

“...I’m going upstairs.”

“Wait, wait!” She cried out and grabbed my arm. Her hands were freezing cold. “We’re all worried about you in class. I’m just trying to lend a hand, you know?”

Help out? What does she know? “I don’t know what Ayumi told you, but you won’t be able to convince me I’m wrong. So don’t waste your time trying.”

I was already on high alert around this girl, but even then, Futaba managed to drop a bombshell I wasn’t prepared for.

“Actually, I haven’t talked with Ayumi about this at all. I heard the details from some of the other girls and picked up a few things from your interactions before you started skipping class.”

Her explanation made me raise an eyebrow. “But why do you care about our situation at all? It’s not like you and Ayumi are that close. Nor are you that close to me, either.”

For some reason, Futaba’s voice lost its usual sing-song timbre. “Well, let’s just say I have my own reasons,” Then, her tone shifted back to its usual levity. “But they genuinely come from my concern for Ayumi and you. I swear!” She crossed her fingers, as if proving she really was telling the truth. “Now be a gentleman and make some tea for us, will ya?”

Futaba’s insistence was, at the very least, commendable; and I couldn’t very well boot her out when she seemed to be honestly concerned about us. So I decided to give up.

“Just sit down wherever.”

“Yay!”

As the girl happily made herself at home, I brewed that tea for us, and then sat down myself. No matter what the conversation, keeping the angel shenanigans hidden was of utmost importance. Plus, it would sound mental to say that we had experienced a supernatural phenomenon in the first place.

“For starters, I can’t tell you the specifics about the situation. Ayumi would kill me if I did.”

“Ah, the specifics aren’t important,” she said, giggling. “Conflicts between old friends usually simmer for ages before boiling over. Whatever caused the current mess was just the final straw, right?”

I narrowed my eyes. Despite her unassuming looks, this girl was much more astute than I gave her credit for.

“Probably. Ayumi’s always been a pushy girl since I first met her. I’ve been tagging along on her trips ever since. But this time, she’s taken it too far.”

“Hmm, that’s kinda weird. Even if you’re super tight, it seems odd that you always make a point of tagging along with her. Come on, spill it out. Why do you do it? Is it maybe…”

She left the question hanging with a twisted smile, but I knew exactly what she wanted to say.

“Not you too,” I retorted.

“Sorry, sorry. I was just messing with you a bit,” she said as she took a sip of her tea.

I let that innocuous comment slide and weighed my next words. “Ayumi has her own family situation, as you probably know already. She copes with it pretty well most of the time, but even she starts thinking about certain things once in a while... She needs someone to be there for her. Someone other than her parents. Plus…”

My words got caught up in my throat. This was some deep-seated trauma I had lying around, and telling it to what basically accounted to a stranger wasn’t easy. However, something about Futaba’s sky-blue eyes made my worries dissipate. I barely knew this girl, yet I felt overwhelming empathy emanating from her. It was as if I was talking to my grandparents. That compassionate look of “I’ve been in your place before. You can trust me.”

Eventually, I opened my mouth.

“Ayumi saved me a long time ago. This is just my way of repaying that debt.”

Hearing this, Futaba’s expression grew serious, and her eyes urged me to continue.

I took a deep breath.

“You probably don’t know this, but my parents divorced. It happened eight years ago, and it wasn’t… particularly pleasant. Back then, my sister was already eighteen so she was allowed to choose who to live with. She chose my dad. I was too young, so I wasn’t given a choice. I ended up staying with my mom at this house.

“It was all too sudden. This house… it’s pretty big, but it used to be full of life. Then, all of a sudden, it became silent and lonely. I was frightened every time I came back from school. My mom had to work overtime to pay the mortgage and provide for the two of us… She still does, in fact. I barely saw her during the day. I couldn’t pester my sister to play with me or have my dad help me with homework anymore. Eventually, I became depressed. I slowly stopped going out, and soon after, I wouldn’t leave the house for weeks. I even refused to go to school on some days.”

Futaba tried to contain her expression, but sorrow still bled through her dewy eyes.

“But one weekend, when I was alone in my bedroom, I heard my mom welcoming someone in. I still remember hearing an excited voice coming from the hallway, then from the stairs, and then kicking open the door to my bedroom.

“Imagine my surprise when I saw this little girl invading my room. Before I could even react, she proclaimed, ‘Hi, I’m Ayumi. I just moved in next door. I hope we can be friends!’ And that’s how I met Ayumi.”

Futaba looked at me for a few seconds, and a smile rose on her face. “That's such a sweet story! I can absolutely picture Ayumi doing that.”

“Yeah, so it won’t surprise you to know that she came back the next day, and the day after, and so on. She was already spewing her nonsense about supernatural stuff back then. Eventually, I was forced to leave the house out of sheer frustration just to not have to hear her anymore. But as it turns out, it was just what I needed. Better than any psychiatrist or medicine. It’s not an exaggeration to say that meeting Ayumi saved me.”

Futaba seemed to realize the whole point of this conversation. “Oh, so that's what you meant when you said you owe her big time.”

“Yeah, that’s right. From that day on, I tried my best to control her escalating nonsense. Because I know that the same mentality that helped me back then is also driving her down the wrong path. I keep trying to dissuade her out of it, but it never works.”

Futaba listened attentively to my heavy words, and despite not making any comments, I felt she truly cared. Which was why I wasn’t at all expecting what came out of her mouth next.

“I think I get why Daichi says you guys are perfect for each other.” She let out an airy giggle.

What the heck have those two been talking about in my absence?

She quickly changed her tone back to serious. “You guys have an awesome friendship, but I think you're looking at it the wrong way.”

I cocked my head upon hearing her words.

“What do you mean?”

“First off, you totally misunderstand Ayumi. She isn’t as messed up as you believe. I'm sure she takes your advice seriously every day.”

Jeez, you sound just like my mom.

Futaba placed her teacup on the table and stared me right in the eyes.

“Look, no matter what you're feeling, Ayumi's not a kid anymore. She's smart. I'm sure she wouldn't do anything risky, even if she's flying solo.”

Futaba then took her rudeness to the next level and pointed a finger at my face. “And that’s the thing, Takeya. You’ve always had this mindset of protecting her from herself, and she knows it. Just think about how she must feel, constantly being treated like she can't handle herself. By her best friend, no less. No wonder she boiled over like this.”

Think… how Ayumi feels, huh?

As Futaba finished speaking, I stared at her dumbfounded. This innocuous girl had completely disarmed me.

Why did I ever think she was cute? She’s scary!

“If that was supposed to make me feel better, it had the opposite effect, you know.”

“You're only gonna start feeling better once you patch things up with her. Avoiding her, even going as far as faking being sick and skipping class, isn't gonna fix anything. By hiding out in your comfort zone, hoping it'll all just blow over, you're just dodging the problem.”

“I… know that. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s trying to do something reckless.”

“That’s your issue to solve though.” She once again flashed a whimsical smile. “Maybe you could trust her a bit more? Things might not be as risky as you think. Or maybe she has a good reason for sticking to her guns so much.”

“Yeah…”

“And maybe, just maybe… try to be a bit more honest with yourself, okay?”

“W-What… there’s nothing to be honest about!”

“Man, you really are no fun,” Futaba said as she stood up from the couch. “Anyways! I think I left you with a lot to chew on, so I'm heading home now. And thanks for the tea, it was really good. I’m all warmed up!”

And with a gentle wave, my classmate left, leaving only my thoughts to keep me company.