The Seven
Being a superhero was fucking fantastic.
Money, fame, and all the sex anyone could ever want. It was a damn dream.
A-Train stepped out from a tunnel and into a stadium of cheering fans. The young black man in a blue costume and goggles had a smile stretching from ear to ear.
He looked out at the stands, with people shouting his name, and didn’t have to force his smile. He’d had a tough couple weeks after running through that chick. He needed a bit of this, of people cheering on the A-Train.
“Yeah, what’s up!” A-Train lifted his hands high, spinning around to face the crowd, throwing some quick playful jabs that the crowd went crazy for. “Yeah, the A-Train is heeere!”
“Would you tone it down?” Translucent said, walking past him, invisible within his superhero outfit.
“Shove it up your ass, Translucent,” A-Train hissed at him even as he kept smiling. With A-Train leading them, the rest of the Seven followed.
The Deep, in his green uniform. The beautiful Queen Maeve, long red hair flowing behind her and silver costume shining. Black Noir, covered head to toe in black armor and spandex, barely registering the crowd cheers.
The crowd exploded as A-Train, Translucent, The Deep, Queen Maeve, and Black Noir walked together. They waved at the people in the stands, walking towards a large stage in the center of the field. As they stood in a line, their last member arrived.
Dropping out of the sky, he crashed into the ground just in front of the stage. A-Train felt his smile freeze just a bit as he felt the vibration through his feet. The man who crashed from the sky stood tall, looking around. His white teeth flashed, blue eyes shined, blonde hair almost glowing in the sunlight as the American flag waved about on his neck, muscles barely contained in a blue body suit.
The stadium erupted as Homelander joined the rest of the Seven on stage, a million watt smile shining on his face.
“They really do love him,” Queen Maeve mumbled.
A-Train didn’t say anything. None of them did. Homelander might hear it if they said anything… negative.
“Hello, ladies and gentlemen!” Homelander moved up to the podium, the mic picking up his voice with ease. “Welcome, one and all! Everybody excited?!”
“WOOOO!”
As the crowd cheered, Homelander chuckled. A-Train heard him mumble under his breath.
“Of course you are, you cocksuckers.”
Once the crowd calmed, Homelander continued. “Now, as you know. The Seven hasn’t had seven members for a while. Unless you count the janitor who helps keep our office clean.”
A polite chuckle rang out. Homelander moved on.
“I’m pleased to announce that this won’t be the case for long! For some time now, we’ve been auditioning to add a new member to the team! A new hero, to join the ranks of the Seven! And soon enough, we’ll be announcing someone with the qualities of bravery, strength, and kindness, to stand with us!”
More like another asshole. A-Train shrugged off the thought.
“Next week, we’ll be announcing-”
“SCREEEEEEEEK!”
“Gah!” A-Train shouted in pain at the loud squeal of the microphone suddenly getting cut off. Homelander looked around, holding a hand to his own ears.
And then, a giant blue glowing man was standing in the center of the field. An overweight guy with a long mustache and goggles. He grinned down at the Seven.
“...What the fuck?” Translucent asked.
“Hello, Seven!” the giant man said, his hands behind his back. It took a second for A-Train to realize what was going, though Queen Maeve said it first.
“Is that a hologram?”
“Why yes, it is,” he bent down to smile. “Thank you for noticing, my dear. A simple one, sadly, but enough for today’s little shindig.”
“Who the hell are you?” Homelander asked, looking annoyed. “Did Meridith set this up?”
“Oh, my apologies,” he stood back up. “Seven? My name is Doctor Eggman. Scientist Supreme. A genius, above any being on Earth. To say I am the smartest man alive doesn’t cover it! Why, I-”
“Do you have a fucking point?” Homelander said, looking annoyed.
“Of course I have a point, you flag wearing buffoon!” the hologram laughed. “I’m here to show the world just who their new ruler is! Who will stand above you pathetic imbeciles as I bring humanity to a new level of greatness! Oh.”
He raised a finger. “And I’m here to attack you.”
A loud rock song suddenly began to play over a speaker in the distance. Lyrics began to play.
“The story begins, but who's gonna win
Knowing the danger lies within
Aboard the ARK, a genius at heart
Wanting to unlock the mysteries of life!”
The doors of the stadium exploded outwards.Something dropped out of the sky. A-Train looked around in shock. “What the-”
“I am the Eggman!” the giant said with the lyrics to his music, laughing. “WAHAHAHAHAHA!
Dozens of things in the sky began shooting at the stage. Bright yellow balls of energy that exploded in brief ‘poofs’ of light, turning the wooden stage to shrapnel. The Deep and Black Noir were sent flying as the blasts hit their chests, while Queen Maeve and Translucent ducked. A-Train instinctively dived aside at super-speed, glancing up.
He almost fell over in shock. “BEES?!”
Robot bees. Giant, 2 foot tall, robot bees. Firing laser weapons.
“YES! Buzz Bombers! Fly! Motobugs! Unleash your power!”
The robot bees were joined by goddamn robot ladybugs on wheels flooding in from outside the stadium. Ladybugs. On Wheels. A-Train, still running at super-speed, almost hit one when it came rushing at him. They were fast! Not as quick as him, but faster than they should have been as they ran along the grass.
“Go my Badniks! Go!” the hologram laughed. “WAHAHAHA! SHOW THEM THE POWER OF DOCTOR EGGMAN!”
“What the fuck!?” Queen Maeve shouted.
That was when the crab robots showed up in the stands, and the audience began to shout and scream.
------
I watched my Badniks rush the heroes and civilians, and wondered if I was enjoying this too much as I hummed to myself. “I am the Eggman, that’s what I am…”
Homelander was looking around, confusion on his face as the other heroes were attacked. It was kind of hilarious. He didn’t even move to attack anything, just stood there like he was trying to take things in.
Translucent took off his costume and tried to sneak up on a Motobug. So I think he was surprised when they turned around and rushed him, smashing into him with claws and sheer body weight and sending him bouncing across the grass.
“Sorry, Translucent, my machines are built with thermal vision!” I said gleefully.
A-Train ran over to a Vought employee who was trying to run, grabbing her arm. “Hey! Did you guys set this up!? The asshole has his own theme song!”
What, really? Middle of an attack, and he thought it was a publicity stunt. Well, I guess Vought had done similar things.
“A setup? Well, let me see if I can convince you of my authenticity,” I snapped my fingers. “Burrobots!”
“Burro-what?” A-Train asked.
Then a drill exploded from the ground.
“FUCK!” A-Train dived aside. The drill was on the head of a robot with a pair of treads instead of leags, and long clawed arms. As A-Train dodged, the robots snapped out a long arm, it’s claws scratching deep into his bicep.
“A setup?” I chuckled deep in my throat. “No. You’re fighting for your lives, you fools!”
Black Noir jumped upwards, grabbing onto a Buzz Bomber and ripping its wings off, only to get shot dozens of times by another. Queen Maeve dodged a Motobug, grabbing it’s head and using it as a bludgeon. Translucent got over his loss of invisibility to begin attacking a Crabmeat.
And yet, I noticed, only Queen Maeve had moved to the stands.
“Get out, go!” she shouted at the crowd, defending them from Crabmeats rushing towards the men, women, and children rushing after the crowd. Sadly, I had to allow my Badniks to injure civilians to sell the attack as genuine, so a few people had broken arms and legs from robotic claws. Nothing unrecoverable, but… Still.
When Queen Maeve leaped into the stands to defend the civilians as best as she could, I felt a bit of relief.
One of the crabmeats grabbed her arm, clenching down hard. She bit her lip in pain, then lifted a boot to stomp it over and over. As she slowly crushed it, I frowned at Homelander.
“I’m sorry… are you still confused, you absolute buffoon?”
More likely he was trying to see if he could find me with his super hearing and x-ray vision. Please, like I would have made it that easy.
As soon as I asked that, the confusion in his eyes snapped into rage. His eyes glowed red and his laser passed harmlessly through my holographic form. I raised an eyebrow.
“Ah, you blonde ignoramus. I cannot wait to watch you fall. Bombers!”
“You fu-” Dozens of Buzz Bombers dropped out of the sky, firing their yellow lasers at him. The lasers hit his head, chest, and back to seemingly little effect. He floated upwards, eyes glowing-
“And be careful with those lasers. You wouldn’t want your loving fans to die from random laser fire on national television, would you? Consider our lovely audience!”
I said that for multiple reasons. First, because the shot that went through my hologram had destroyed a portion of the stands behind me and started a fire. Really, the asshole was so damn indiscriminate with those lasers. Second, to make sure I kept to my role. Couldn’t just be a villain. I needed to have a bit of class, after all.
Scowling, Homelander flew forward to grab a Buzz Bomber, smashing it apart. Still, I smiled when I saw his annoyance at how hard it was to do compared to his usual victims. He fired one quick laser blast, but the lightning quick Buzz Bombers were programmed to shift out of the way of his line of sight whenever possible. Granted, they’d had practice.
Still. This was… I mean, it was cool. Seeing a team of heroes fighting hordes of robots, screaming citizens running for the hills as police sirens rang out in the distance. Right out of the comics… except it wasn’t.
The Seven were sort of disappointing. Queen Maeve and Black Noir were fighting well, but A-Train was half panicking as the celebrity hero ran around avoiding the Borrubots jumping out of the ground, Homelander looked more annoyed than anything else chasing down the Buzz Bombers one at a time, Translucent was basically being bogged down unable to do much since his invisibility was totally countered even as he got a few good hits in and The Deep hadn’t even started fighting just yet. Not to mention their teamwork was practically nonexistent throughout the whole fight so far.
I mentally sighed. They were obviously going to win this fight. My Badniks were made on short notice and on a budget. I’d gone for a combination of advanced tech and shortcuts. Thermal vision to track Translucent, just enough durability to matter, and fast enough that even A-Train had to use a bit of his speed to dodge around them.
But even if they were going to win, I was still disappointed. The Eggman in me, the part that had taken on godlike hedgehogs and echidnas, who had matched wits with a prodigy fox, found them lacking.
Whatever. I had more work to do.
“Looks like we’re having fun, heroes,” I said, hiding my emotions under a boisterous voice echoing in the baseball stadium. “But my Badniks will overwhelm you eventually. In the meantime, enjoy the musical accompaniment I have selected!”
E.G.G.M.A.N. ended, and was followed by another song from Ahti’s walkman.
Take control, take control
I see a vision rising, dreary
Fading in as children play twilight games
In the town called Ordinary
As Take Control continued to play, I let the hologram go on autoplay. Basically it was just a gigantic Eggman… dancing. If someone interfered with the hologram, it would stop to say a smarmy line, but otherwise, it was Eggman grooving.
Hopefully, the cameras currently filming the mess would get a good view of that.
------
My mind returned to my body as I let the hologram continue. “Colin, how we doing?”
I stood in my main lab, my Eggman Control Unit sitting atop my head.
“Already done,” Colin, sitting at a computer, took a sip of caffeine watching an upload finish. “Cameras and alarms are yours. You have ten minutes.”
I switched my awareness back again as soon as he said that.
This time, rather than a view of the baseball stadium, I stood in my Eggman body in a forest, with a field of grass in front of me. Across from that grass, a single sign stood.
“Sage Grove Center,” I read the sign. “God, the building looks positively devious even from here! I need to remember that design at some point.”
I looked to my right, where a single Buzz Bomber had been flying with a camera instead of a laser stinger, using my movements to model the hologram. “Stay here.”
“Zzzzzit,” the Buzz Bomber acknowledged.
With that, I looked to my left, where a pair of Badnik’s stood waiting. One was small, only about three feet from nose to the tip of his tail. Shaped like a reptile plushie; it had adorable stumpy legs, a curled tail, and googly eyes that looked around quickly.
The other one was even smaller, smaller than the model from the games. About as long as a school desk and thin as a banana, it was segmented into dozens of small orbs colored blue, with a pair of mandibles on it’s head just under two narrowed eyes.
“Come along.”
“Cree, cree!” the lizard crawled onto me, wrapping around my back and placing it’s head on my shoulder. The small worm creature wrapped around my waist instead, becoming a makeshift belt of sorts. Moments later, it’s program activated.
Flickers of light bounced across it, before it’s skin began to shift and change. It’s coloration began to match the world around it, then the field it projected extended to me and the worm.
A Newtron, a Badnik capable of turning invisible. Well, camouflage, technically, but that’s a whole thing. The point was, it became hard to see. And could extend that power to others. It wasn’t perfect, since it required direct contact, and wouldn’t hold up well to direct touch with objects, but it was still fantastic.
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It’s why a chameleon was the animal representing it. Not just for style points, but because the Newtron eyes were made to take in every sight around it and quickly recreate it with a combination of recordings and predictive algorithms.
I started running the second I turned invisible, rushing over the grass. On some level, I felt a little ridiculous. In an Eggman body, running faster than some golf carts across an open field, with a chameleon on my back and a worm around my waist. Weird image. Except, of course, that I was invisible.
I flexed my false muscles and jumped over the fence in a quick bound, landing lightly on the other side. I moved on, heading towards the building beyond. “Colin, walk me through it.”
It was hard, splitting my attention between two bodies, but it was the fastest way to communicate with him.
“The door ahead is clear. No orderlies or doctors,” he said to my real body. In my Eggman form, I nodded.
I quickly opened the door and headed inside. The hallways within were pretty much the same as in the show.
Sage Grove in the show was a place owned by Vought. Well, owned by a shell company of Vought. Basically, it was where they held adult superheroes they had given Compound V to. A place to stick their experiments in until they could find a way to give superpowers to adults with any sort of useful repeatability. Stabilize the V.
I could see the appeal. Sell powers to people on a larger scale. Not just those with infant kids, but grown men and women with money to burn. Solid powers to everyone.
Didn’t forgive the torture and murder.
I ran through the hallways at a quick pace, moving as lightly on my feet as I could.
“Left. Left again. Okay, go straight. The security office should be just ahead. What will you do about the guard?”
“That’s what my little belt is for,” I said with a chuckle. An orderly came down the hall. I slowed my pace to a slow walk, my steps silent, and slid around him before continuing. He didn’t even glance up.
Nice thing about real life. A simple plan tends not to fuck up out of nowhere by some guy suddenly being psychic.
I approached the security office and tapped my belt.
“Go on, Crawlton.”
The worm/centipede unfurled from my belt and landed on the linoleum floor. It sped along the ground, sliding like a snake. Once it got to the security door, it moved under it, it’s robotic shell plates flexing around its myomer-muscle body.
I sat back and waited for a moment, leaning against the door. Inside, the single guard was probably bored, waiting for his shift to end. The most he would feel was a sudden sting through his shirt, probably on his back, the sort that someone would feel from a chair spring poking them.
That would be Crawlton stinging him. He carried a simple chemical in his body, made just for each guard registered as an employee in the facility. After all, you can’t expect knock-out chemicals to be universal. Crawlton could recognize the weight, height, and health profile of every employee, and adjust the mixture to accommodate. Hopefully one day he could do even more, but this would be good enough.
There was a thumping sound. Then, after a moment, the door opened. I entered, smirking at the sight of Crawlton rushing over to slide up my leg and around my waist.
“Aw. Missed daddy already?”
With a small evil chuckle, I closed the door, stepped over the unconscious form of the guard lying on the floor, and moved over to the computer system and cameras. I started typing quickly, bringing up the internet and loading a program to connect Ivotech over to Sage Grove. Sure, Colin had hacked the cameras and alarms, but that was top-level shit. We needed everything.
“Gods,” Colin stared at the screen before him, his eyes wide. “They’ve been at this for some time. Are you sure we shouldn’t simply assassinate the ringleaders?”
“Not exactly, ‘cleaning’ the world to do that,” I said with a sigh. “We need to bring this around to being a better place. Armies of robots killing people doesn’t do that. Public opinion and societal change. That’s the goal. So gather the evidence. And find Ahti’s boy.”
Colin rolled his eyes. “Mention a couple of assassinations and you get all nasty… Okay. He’s on the first floor thankfully. Head sixteen rooms down, take a right, then five rooms up. I’ll let you know when it’s clear. Also… there are physical files on site here. But I’m guessing all the good stuff is with Vought.”
“Of course it is,” I moved the guard from the floor to the desk, arranging things so he would think he had fallen asleep at his desk. “But Sage Grove had the actual experimentation being done in the modern day. Public opinion, remember? People don’t care about historical horrors. They’re terrified of the possibility of monsters kidnapping them and experimenting on them now. Files from the old days will be fantastic, but these are fresh and hot for media consumption when we make our play.”
With that, I left the room. That’s the boring and convenient part of hacking. Most of it is just opening access to a program and letting it run. So it meant that I could use the rest of my time to get work done before I left.
While Colin continued to open up Sage Grove to Ivotech control, I headed over to the cell Colin indicated. As I passed the cells, I forced myself not to look inside. Invisibility kept me from being seen. But if I looked into the cells, seeing the tortured souls within…
I couldn’t break everyone out. This early, it would cause nothing but chaos. It would make Vought realize they had an enemy, especially with my little distraction causing mayhem. They’d worry about Eggman being more than just a dumb supervillain with some weird robots.
Still. This was something I’d have to take care of later…
Pushing that aside, I stopped in front of a single door. “Once more, Crawlton.”
The worm-centipede scooted under the door. Moments later, a man shouted in shock and pain, then a small thud followed.
Yeah, I know. Boring to do the same thing twice. But simplicity is always better than fancy shenanigans.
A moment later, the door was opened. I entered and glanced down at the form on the floor. He was thin, almost skeletal, with a scruffy beard and short-cut hair. I recognized him from the show, but only as a one-scene wonder. A young man who had unintentionally released a short EMP burst that sent a van flying, shut down electronics, and ended in Hughie having a deep wound in his belly.
So of course I had to knock him out. Couldn’t risk it.
Honestly, if I could have picked someone to break out, it would have been Cindy the body exploder for her power, or Tim for his relative stability. Not… what was this kid’s name? Gordon Clarke?
Well. Ahti wanted him out. And I was likely going to get him out anyway. Just to keep him from being used against me.
I picked him up over my shoulder and looked at the back wall. Now, I had to hack into the actual systems manually to get Gordon’s location and create a permanent back door in Sage Grove. But now that I had his room, the next step was…
A sound came from the wall. Heh. Perfect timing. A laser soon cut through the wall. It moved quickly, opening a hole in the concrete wall. When done, the wall fell out, revealing my partner in crime.
“Ola, Egg Pawn,” I said with a grin.
The bipedal bot’s eye light shined. He was red, as short as E-Boy had once been, a thought that brought a small pang of pain to me. He was kinda goofy looking, with a big round head, body, and boots, big blue eyes, and a blue ‘smile’. He extended his arms and wrapped big old hands around Gordon, taking him off my hands. I stepped through the wall and turned.
“Okay, Crawlton? Ready?”
The worm-centipede nodded. I grabbed onto the edges of the wall and pushed it up and into place again. The Newtron on my shoulder extended it’s chameleon tongue out, the extended false flesh linking the section of wall that had been burned through. In its wake, a sort of drywall replaced it. On the inside, Crawlton did the same with his mandibles. Working together, they filled the circular line up once more. Crawlton added some paint, while Newtron simply retracted his tongue.
It wasn’t perfect. But better than nothing.
“Okay, let's go!” I ran for it, Newtron keeping me invisible, while Egg Pawn continued carrying our cargo.
Inside, Crawlton entered the toilet, sliding into the pipes. If all went well, he would exit underneath the facility, find a secluded place no human could enter, then curl up and wait. An unseen infiltrator underneath the facility, hibernating until I called him to action, undetectable by anything that didn’t directly touch him.
We headed for the fence, and I hopped over, rushing to the forest with Egg Pawn joining me. I came to a stop once we were behind the van we’d driven out in. Yeah, a van. It was parked in a forest, but we went through and scrubbed any and all footage of it on any cameras on the streets leading up to Sage Grove.
The van doors opened on their own, showing the Buzz Bomber waiting inside.
I hopped in, followed by Egg Pawn with Gordon, who got him laid down on the bed. “Colin, how we doing?”
“Camera’s will be back up in two minutes. Or should I end the loop now?”
“Go ahead,” I tapped the van. “Get moving.”
With a roar of an engine, the van started driving on it’s own. I chuckled. Thankfully I got a van with standing room for the next part. “Well done everyone! Now. Buzz Bomber. Start up the hologram again, and let’s see how the party at the stadium has gone.”
“Zzzzzit.”
Buzz Bomber activated the hologram. I connected with the emitters at the baseball stadium, and was soon standing in above the crowd once more.
I was surprised I wasn’t dancing. My hologram was designed to dance as long as it wasn’t interrupted or something serious hadn’t gone down.
Of course, once I got a look at the stadium, I realized it was the latter. The cops had arrived. A bunch were shooting back at the badniks. However, one man was being dragged off by paramedics. He had burns across his arms, legs, and chest, portions of bone shining under the black police officers' cooked flesh. Familiar burn marks.
Of course. Homelander had decided to use his lasers. Damn him.
My hologram had been in the midst of speech. I let it continue.
“-all that power. And you have the control of a child. Truly, you are the world's largest buffoon.”
Homelander glared at me, not even the slightest bit ashamed. I took some pleasure in his appearance though. The eagle on his right shoulder had been shattered, likely by one of the Buzz Bombers mandibles, and his cape had been burnt, with some of the spandex on his left leg missing. Even better, his hair was covered in green goo and was sticking up everywhere.
I love Badniks. Give them an order like ‘use this specific gear to ruin Homelander’s clothes and hair’ and they’d follow it to the end.
“That wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t decided to attack us. And you’re not even brave enough to come out and fight us yourself!”
His right hand snapped out, grabbing a Buzz Bomber out of the air. “Instead, you send these… toys!”
As the poor Buzz Bomber buzzed helplessly in his grip. He squeezed, shattering it with sprays of oil.
I chuckled darkly. “I’m sorry, but of course I sent ‘toys’,” I leaned forward, grinning directly in face with a hologram head larger than his body as he floated. “Because for me. This is merely a game, Homelander. All you heroes will learn to bow before Eggman, future ruler of the world!”
“Fuck you,” Homelander spat out.
Wow. Homelander had no sense of drama.
Down below, my last Motobug was shattered by Queen Maeve. She gasped in exhaustion, falling to a knee. “We… we’ll stop you. I swear.”
God bless her, I think she actually meant it.
“Not a chance,” I scoffed. “Well, sadly it seems you’ve defeated my current set of toys. I’ll be back heroes. And when I do, I’ll show you the true genius... of Doctor Eggman!”
“...Your name is fucking stupid,” A-Train mumbled from his spot behind the line of police officers.
Well, of course the blue speedster would say that, huh?
“Oh I’m sure you’ll appreciate it, Mister Choo-Choo, when my next plan hatches. In the meantime, bravo dear Seven. You really showed how strong and competent you are today didn't you! But we will play again soon! MUAHAHAHAHA! WAHAHAHAHAAAAA!”
I shut off the hologram as Homelander flew at the projector drone that finally floated up into view. I took a moment to be amused that the small round ball of tech had managed to hide away from him for so long just because it was made of zinc, hiding in a stadium with plenty of it to hide among. Then I immediately scowled, snapping back into my real body. Colin turned to look at me.
“I have the name of the officer who was injured. Reports say he’s in an ambulance, critical condition.”
“How’s our medical gear?” I asked.
“Experimental. But we can help keep him alive for a good while.”
“Send it. Call it a goodwill mission.”
I turned and began to stride off.
“Julian.”
I stopped, turning to face him. He hesitated.
“You know… that’s not your fault.”
“I do… Because it’s Homelander’s. And it’s one more crime there will have to be a reckoning for.”
Then I turned and started walking. “We succeeded in getting Mr. Gordon Clarke and beginning our little false supervillain act. Let’s continue working, shall we?”
And one day. One day I would see Homelander die. See him realize that the half-assed Badniks I was forced to send after him were nothing compared to what was to come. I finally got Eggman’s hatred of Sonic, just a little bit. It was different, of course. But I had just a hint of that deep hatred now.
“Julian,” Colin walked over. I stopped, turning to look down at my fellow scientist. “Maybe you should rest. For just a moment. Have a drink with me. All our current projects are automated or need a bit of wait time. You can spare the moment.”
“...Fine,” I spat out, forcing myself to calm as best as I could. I took a deep breath. “Let’s go to the kitchens.”
“Good. And I think Mechelle would like to see you as well. It’ll be good to have a small conversation, yes?”
I grumbled, unwilling to agree, but still nodding.
Still, as we left, a thought occurred to me.
Why did Ahti think Gordon Clarke was so important to take in?
...Because after today, Vought would be looking for someone to use against me. An EMP man was top of the list.
Should be a fun surprise when they went looking for him...