Escaping the scene of the crime is usually not fun. Having to ‘escape’ rather than slip away means something went wrong. In a perfect world, no law enforcement would interfere, and you would walk off into the sunset, cigar and cool soundtrack optional.

Running from a superhero on a motorcycle was not optimal, for those who are wondering.

I was driving from the Diamond District, further from where more superheroes might be. Homelander and A-Train should have been far away based on their public schedule, so I wouldn’t need to deal with them, and no other heroes were truly fast enough to reach me in time.

Unfortunately, the hero chasing me was an Energizer bunny.

I flew over the streets, diving into alleyways, buzzing just over the heads of the populace. Black Noir drove his motorcycle to its engineering limits. A Suzuki Hayabusa, with some custom work done.

“You really just don’t give up, do you!?” I half-complimented Black Noir, twisting the Eggmobile to start shooting at him again with both my raygun and the Eggmobile’s weaponry.

For a moment, I got dizzy. This whole experience. Racing backwards, shooting at a speeding enemy that dodged my shots. For a moment, it overlapped with my memories. Across thousands of realities, in the bodies of men, women, and robots, all variants of Eggman, all who had sat in Egg Mobiles doing exactly what I was.

“Blast it!” I pushed through the flashing memories, focusing on Black Noir. “I’m glad it’s you, to be honest!”

I shot Black Noir in the shoulder, his armor exploding off that section. Thank god it was Black Noir chasing me. It helped keep me centered in the moment, rather than focusing on what was. If it had been a speedster, especially a blue one like A-Train, I might have had a harder time.

Still, I was distracted enough. We careened into an alleyway, at top speed. Black Noir took advantage of the heartbeat where I wasn’t shooting to hop his motorcycle onto a dumpster, then jumped off of it. He hung in the air for a moment.

In that second, I mentally ran through my options. This area was near… hmm. Two birds with one stone then.

Black Noir landed on the Egg Mobile. I pretended to panic, twisting the controls. We shot out of the alleyway, Black Noir punching at me. I barely dodged a superhuman fist, only for a katana to slide against my red coat, a long tear revealing the armor beneath the cloth.

The Egg Mobile smashed into the side of a glass building, entering an office space. I pulled on the controls, forcing us to avoid the now screaming workers. I punched Black Noir in the helmet. He fell back but grabbed onto the edge of my cockpit, hanging on while I forced my vessel upwards, smashing through the ceiling.

Floor by floor, we careened upwards, blasting through the building and leaving holes in our wake.

“Let go, damn you!” I yelled, internally praying he’d hold on.

Black Noir pulled himself up and swung his katana again, aiming to decapitate me. Even with my robotic reflexes I just barely ducked it, twisting the controls again. We shot to the side, out one building and towards an old brick one. I forced us towards the correct floor, smashing through the wall.

We ended up in a living room.

“Bloody fuck, what!?” A British accented voice roared in shock. I raised my ray gun and fired at Black Noir, sending his katana flying when he blocked the shot with it. I fired another shot, blasting the mouth portion of his mask off.

Black Noir swiped his hand out, sending my raygun flying to land on the nearby couch. I spun the Egg Mobile around and blasted out the room, the sound of a loud angry British man roaring after us.

“You made me lose my raygun,” I said with a wide grin at Black Noir. “So I’ll need to end this.”

Noir, as always, didn’t reply. He did reach out for my nose, trying to grab the protruding point. I drove the ship towards the ground.

We flew dozens of feet in seconds, aiming for the asphalt below. Black Noir had enough time to give me a look. I grinned, pushing the thrusters as hard as I could. “Should have worn your seatbelt!”

Then we crashed into the ground, cratering it. Bits of stone flew around, cars came to a halt around us. The Egg Mobile wheezed weakly, and Black Noir stared up at me from the bloody crater he made in the ground. I grinned.

“When you recover, just remember to drink plenty of fluids, okay?”

Black Noir nodded slowly, then laid back against the cracked asphalt. On my console, the screen depicting his condition displayed that he was, for a superhuman, unconscious. Interestly, even passed out his body showed a level of activity usually seen in high school athletes while exercising.

Which was a lot when you’re knocked out.

I brought the Egg Mobile up, my poor vessel wheezing weakly as it floated upwards. People were filming me, and I jauntily waved at them as they pointed their phones at me. Higher up, I reached the level of the apartment we’d crashed into. Staring out at me from the second hole blasted into his apartment was a man in a black trenchcoat, Aloha shirt, with a short beard and spiked hair.

“You blew up my fucking apartment!” Butcher roared at me, looking annoyed rather than scared.

“Ah. My apologies!” I reached into a compartment in my cockpit. Within the Egg Mobile, a set of machinery shifted about, picking up the contents within. I pulled out a handful of the raw uncut diamonds my Eggpawns had placed within the Egg Mobile, now in a sack with a yellow minimalist image of my face on it. I tossed the marble bag sized package to Butcher, who grabbed it out of the air.

“That should cover the damage to your apartment. And keep my toy if you like!”

“What toy-!?” I ignored the angry Brit, instead turning the Egg Mobile around and driving outwards.

I checked my display. A-Train and Homelander were still busy. No other speedy or flying types were on their way. Police were on the way, but that could be ignored.

“Come on, sweetie,” I patted my poor Egg Mobile, hands tracing over a long slit in the metal where Black Noir had ripped into her with his katana. “Just a bit longer.”

The Egg Mobile didn’t answer, only sputtering weakly and leaking smoke as we left the scene. I worked as fast as I could to repair it mid-flight. Just a few miles, and we’d be over the ocean. There was a boat waiting there, ready to take the Eggman body, Eggmobile, and the stolen safe. The Eggpawns were already driving home.

All in all, a very successful heist.

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Billy ‘Fucking’ Butcher

“Fucking supe cunts!” Butcher half-hissed, half-yelled, looking around. His apartment, technically, was just a shithole he was bunkering down in while working, but it was his shithole. There were two massive holes in the walls, debris everywhere, and soot covered the walls from where that flying thing had smashed into them.

Oh, and Black Noir’s blood. Of course.

Butcher kicked aside the remains of a crappy coffee table, glaring around, then remembering he was still holding the bag that omelette fuck had tossed him. Still pissed, he opened the bag-

Diamonds. There were diamonds in the bag. Shiny fucking rocks.

“...Fuckin hell,” Butcher lifted one and looked at it closely. “Holy fuck!”

Behind the diamond, on the remains of his couch, something glowed green. He lowered the diamond and placed it in the bag, hiding the package away in his trench coat as he approached the couch slowly. He cocked his head to the side, inspecting what lay there.

A ray gun… Eggman’s ray gun.

‘And keep my toy if you like!’

“No fucking way,” Butcher grabbed the gun and inspected it. It looked like a children’s toy resized for an adult. The whole thing was constructed of metal though, the grip well made. When he pointed at his kitchen, the sights were perfectly set.

He pulled the trigger. The recoil sent his arm back like he’d fired a revolver. And his fucking refrigerator blew up.

“Oh that is fucking diabolical!” Butcher crowed, staring at the raygun. “You fuckin’ beauty!”

Now this leveled the goddamn playing field.

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Julian Ivo

“Are you sure about this?” Mechelle asked me as I finished setting up the boat to head towards its destination. “According to your memories, Butcher doesn’t historically do well with receiving power.”

“Hey, we don’t know that. I never watched season 3, maybe he became well-adjusted later.”

Mechelle, her face unmoving, simply eyed me. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. “Yeah, definitely not. I’ll admit, giving Butcher a laser gun is iffy. But I’m hoping the fact it’s an actual gun, not a power, will help keep him from going all murdery on people. It’s an equalizer, but he’s not about to beat Homelander with it.”

“It’s still very reckless.” Mechelle said emotionlessly.

“Ah, not truly! You see, I’ve got a plan for that. Butcher needs to begin seeing Eggman and his technology as a boon, rather than a curse.” I wagged a finger at her, rising from my seat and walking off, Mechelle following me. “If this world needs some villains, then they will need a weapons manufacturer they trust.”

“But can you trust Butcher?”

“I can trust Butcher to act as he always does. I have absolute faith in Butcher, because I know his path of least resistance.”

If you know people well enough, you never have to worry about being betrayed. You simply place them into positions where they will always take one of two positions. The first, where they don’t betray you, and thus end up aiding you. Or the second, where they do betray you, but you capitalize on that betrayal and they end up aiding you anyways.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

I didn’t need trust if I could predict people.

Pushing aside that thought, I grabbed a tablet off a table as we walked, flipping through the pages to reach my classified works. So far, so good. Project Duo was on track. The myomer polymers had been improved, as had the programming software.

“I’m going to upgrade you soon,” I told Mechelle. “You’ve been doing excellently, far better than I ever dreamed, and I want to make sure your body keeps up to the standards you’ve been setting.”

Mechelle didn’t respond, but I felt like she seemed to glow at my praise. She really was excellent.

I pulled out an earpiece and placed it in, calling Colin. As soon as he picked up, I spoke. “Colin, would you like me to upgrade you in any way, or would you rather do it yourself?”

“What a question,” Colin said, sounding wry as always on the other end of the phone. “Are you sure there is no danger to letting me upgrade myself?”

“I told you, I wanted a scientific partner. That means accepting you might want to do illicit experimentation on yourself,” I chuckled.

“Hmm. Well, I’ll simply be upgrading my programming and memory storage then.”

“No laser eyes?”

Colin chuckled. “No, no. As you said, I am a scientist. I’m running out of capacity for my current ideas as it is.”

Just like Mechelle then. Both had exploded in terms of how intelligent they were, if in different ways.

“Very well. Contact me if you need materials.”

I hung up at the same time as Colin, stroking my chin. I almost reached to tug at my long mustache before remembering I didn’t have one in my human form. Not one as long as Eggman’s at least, just some fuzz on my lip.

Pushing the odd sensation of not feeling right in my own body, I focused. What was next now? Things were going smoothly, in some ways, rough in others. But what could I do?

Pondering that question, I idly switched my tablet to display the island Ahti had purchased, now named Theogonia Island. From a camera, I could see a foreman watching teams of people working on the beach. I tapped a button and a loud beeping on the other end drew the foreman’s attention. He looked around, finally noticing me on screen.

“Hey Hammond,” I said to the foreman. “How goes things?”

“Smooth as glass, bossman,” the large Samoan man approached the camera, placing his hands on his belly. “The dock is getting set up right now. We’ll follow up with the roads and all that next.”

“Can I-”

“Get a look? Sure thing, bossman.” Hammond picked up the screen and camera, walking forth.

On screen, I could see the massive forms of cranes moving material out to the ocean, building a sea barrier. A large compound of temporary shelter made from dozens of modular buildings was further inland, forming a ‘village’ of sorts.

Men, women, and machinery moved about quickly. I’d hired everyone I could, getting anyone with skill and experience out to the island. Ivotech was making lots of money nowadays. And yet, most of it went to the island.

The machinery was a mixture of conventional machines and my own mecha. Nothing crazy like Badniks, but some simple large suits designed to resemble the Power Loader from Aliens.

I fucking love the Power Loader from Aliens.

The advanced mechs had a variety of attachments on the arms, but their biggest job was lifting heavy objects over uneven terrain.

The dock, the village, the sea break, and the roads were being set up with wonderful efficiency.

“Thank you Hammond. Do you need anything else?”

“You’re too free with money, boyo,” the Samoan scoffed. “We’re doing alright. Supplies are comin in quicklike. You’ll have your base.”

“I hope so. There’s a lot going into this. Spare no expense.” That joke was lost in a world without Jurassic Park.

“Thank you for the sitrep, Hammond. Make sure your people are being taken care of.”

“I always do,” Hammond chuckled.

Good. I may be a villain, but I’d promised to treat everyone under me with respect. It wasn’t just nice, it was logical. I wasn’t trying to make money, I was trying to make progress. And happy employees was one way to achieve that.

Once we disconnected, I checked in on an island again. But this time, from my other workers. At another island, far from the first.

Julian had Theogonia Island. Eggman had Sage’s Hollow.

It was volcanic, with a few sandy beaches, including one Gordon had met Eggman on. Underneath the island, badniks were at work. Burrobot, vaguely mole shaped Badniks with drill noses, were digging out a massive expansive space under the island far from the construction workers. Working with them were Eggpawns, Snowy’s and more of my stronger Badkiks, building out the cave. Above, Batbrains flew, while Caterkillers set up wiring for lights on the ceiling. Still, it didn't need too many lights.

The lava pool underneath everything was a light source of its own. I could see Fireworms and Rexon’s swimming there, widening out the pool and working on the geothermal engines.

A Drill Worm poked out of one side wall, completing another massive tunnel.

It was uninhabited Heroes wouldn’t be roaming it, and it was volcanic so no one would ever be digging neararound it. Dig far under it, and start work on the tunnels, and you had a perfect place to have an underground lair. It was fantastic.

Except for one thing. Sage’s Hollow. I hadn’t named it.

“Mechelle,” I looked over at her. “Are you… sure about the name?”

“Yes,” she said simply. “Sage is important.”

“Because of Gordon?”

She gave me a look. Well, as much as one as she ever did, which was somehow very expressive.

I pretended to think about it, but I knew why she really picked it. “I haven’t even said I’m making her.”

Mechelle didn’t answer, which was sort of an answer in itself. I looked for excellence in my allies. Mechelle and Colin were proof of that. And no one could argue Sage had been anything but exemplary.

It didn’t help that the Eggman memories tied to her were so emotionally powerful. They appealed too much to the person I had been before I became Julian. And now Mechelle had pushed hard to name the Eggman base Sage’s Hollow.

“I’ll leave it aside, then,” I sighed, putting away the tablet. We entered my office. Bradley, my military liason, was eyeing a table I’d installed in the center. It was basically a touch screen the size of a kitchen table. He had pulled up a file on the Power Loaders.

“When the hell did you start building these?” Bradley asked, sipping at a cappuccino he must have made himself from the kitchen.

“The Power Loaders? I don’t know, about a week ago? Mechelle?”

“They have begun mass production as of two weeks ago,” she answered brightly, switching from her usual stoicness to her more cheery false businesswoman side.

“We need these for the military.”

“You do?” I asked, moving to stand next to him. “Well, I suppose I can see them being used for combat-”

Bradley scoffed. “Boy, do you know how useful these would be for our boys in warehouses and bases? I don’t want more guns, I want more support for our supplies and logistics.”

Oh. Right. I felt a little sheepish. “Very well.”

With a few taps on the table, the files on the power loaders were sent directly to Bradley, his phone dinging a notification. He nodded in satisfaction. “Thank you.”

“So, did you come just for my exo-suits?” I asked.

“Not at all. I came to tell you that your Bradley Fighting Vehicle improvements were approved for prototyping.”

I stared at him. “...holy shit.”

He nodded back, the corner of his lip rising into a half-smile. “That’s right. The boys were very impressed, especially when they got a look at the materials you recommended. I think DARPA is going to start sweating if you keep it up.”

That was fantastic news. The profits for that project were going to be worth staggering amounts of money. I… I needed more people. Another factory, workers, materials.

Detroit. I’d build factories in Detroit.

“Now, I did have a question,” Bradley ignored my racing thoughts to bring another file up on the table. “What is this?”

I looked at it as well. “Oh. That’s a fast food court.”

“A what?” he asked with a look on his face like I’d hit him with a pie.

“A food court. I want to serve food in New York.”

Bradley stared at me. Sighed. “Well, I guess you’re allowed to be eccentric.”

“It’s not a rule, but it helps with stress relief,” I admitted.

On the table, the image of the first Ivo Food Center shone brightly. There were statistics on the employee rate in the area I’d chosen, ideas on improving it, and cultural information about the people who would eat there.

And also, the designs for the assistants and security I would provide. What fun it would be.

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Author's Note:

Butcher: Now I have a ray gun. Ho ho ho.

The chapter was fun to write. Hopefully it makes sense that a head on collision, combined with getting shot a bunch by the ray gun, makes sense to knock out Black Noir, if only for a minute.

Next chapter will have a bit more interference from the regular plot, while more building shenanigans push in. That will be on my Patreon, but the next story I update will be Monsters of My Own. Until next time, stay safe folks.