“What in the abyss!?” I exclaimed, just as the sight of my demon faded into existence.

“Are they drunk?” Gerald stated the obvious, chuckling heartily.

“What the?” Kalrun slurred, his bloodshot eyes trying to parse the new environment.

The demon swayed unsteadily, probably getting serious vertigo before emptying the contents of its stomach. Whatever it vomited, looked nasty and I pitied whomever cleaned this dungeon.

Finally, the demon regained some lucidity, and his eyes scanned the room. They passed by Gerald before settling upon me. The moment our eyes met, his widened in shock. The demon nearly jumped as he took in my form. I guess I was quite the sight, oddly that made me proud.

“Oh shit!” The demon cursed, realising the situation. “Please don’t torture me. I already have a horrible headache.” He begged still swaying from the vertigo.

I was at a loss for what to do, to be honest, I was unaware demons could even get drunk. From what I recalled about their physiology, they regenerated so regular alcohol should have no effect.

Suddenly a thought occurred, perhaps they have developed beverages in the abyss that can override a demon's constitution. It was so obvious, I am an absolute idiot for not seeing it.

“It is fine, no need to grovel.” I gestured for the demon to be at ease.

“Thank you my lord, for your mercy.” He replied, head still lowered.

Either he was bowing, or trying to keep himself from vomiting again. I shrugged and continued with the process of summoning the second demon. I noticed Gerald snickering to the side.

“What’s funny?” I asked the wizard.

“We are screwed.” He proclaimed, still unable to contain himself.

I had just finished the preparations for summoning the next demon. I made the somatic gestures and cast the spells, conjuring Astragoth by his true name. The demon coalesced into his shape and I queried the wizard.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, the wizard shrugged with a wide grin on his face.

“We are about to be sieged by an army of sell swords and undead. As a defence we have a few peasant men at arms, a few wizards, a necromancer of dubious alliances, a major demon.” He gestured to me. “Along with his entourage of plastered demonic servants, as I said we are so screwed.” He laughed uproariously before snorting another line.

I sighed, noting the truth in his words. This was further exasperated by the second demon's arrival. He promptly added to the vomit pile, throwing up his guts.

“By the abyss I don’t feel good.” The demon I recognised as Astragoth complained.

“Kneel you moron.” Kalrun said, pushing down his fellow demon.

“Let go of me Kal, I am going to throw up again.” His companion threw him off and proceeded to fumble towards the barrier, stopping in his tracks.

The demon finally locked eyes with me and realised his situation. The response he had was vulgar and inarticulate, typical of a demon. As soon as he finished his cursing he slumped over and promptly fell to the floor.

“Well, hopefully the rest of your companions will be in better shape.” I hoped, turning my attention to summoning the last two.

Etragos was next, of course, that wasn’t his true name. Merely the one he insisted I call him. Initially, I thought it was odd but it made sense, not using your true name in everyday conversation. I should probably do the same, and go by a different name at least to my demons.

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I will have to think of a good name while I summoned Etragos, known truly as Enkh-Bataar, an even stranger name than the one he goes by.

Repeating the same processes I managed to summon the demon. He phased into existence the same way as his companions. Only he didn’t puke his guts out. He didn’t even sway, either his demonic constitution was superior or he didn’t drink as much.

The moment his eyes set upon me, they widened ever slightly, he glanced at his inebriated companions to the left. Only a split second went by before he fell to his knees in supplication.

“Great one, please have mercy upon my men. I shall take on any punishment they are due in their stead.” The demon declared, with considerable comradeship than I would have not expected of a demon.

Yet I was learning far too many disturbing things to be deterred from these oddities. I looked to Gerald, he watched patiently, interest in his eyes.

With my larger form, I looked down upon the three demons. Prepared to play this out to its conclusion, whatever theatre is necessary to ensure answers are mine.

“A noble sentiment, Etragos.” I used his preferred name and gestured for him to stand. “Am I correct in assuming Jelmak had passed on my words to you and not your comrades there?” I looked to the two others, they had since risen to their feet and glared silently.

“No my lord, we were not able to convey your words before the summoning.”

“I see, well no matter. I would formally introduce myself. I am Lord Asmordis.” The name just came to me, not sure where it came from though. “You may be aware of our situation and my needs. But I would very much like to extend my offer to you and your.” I coughed. “Associates.” I glared at the two drunken demons still a little annoyed they were toasting my death.

“Thank you Lord Asmordis.” He showed gratitude, rather odd to see when compared to how he acted when I was human.

“Excellent, I make this offer only once. You may choose, either be bound as my slave, forced into my service and obedient. Or you and your associates can accept positions as my servants, you will be rewarded for your efforts.” I offered the two options, to be honest, any intelligent being would choose option two. But I am posing as a terrifying demon lord, I needed to play the part.

“That is kind of a no brainer.” Gerald said to the side, his feet up and his chair leaning back on two legs.

“Ignore him.” I added quickly, not wanting to explain this.

“We accept your most gracious offer, great one and would be overjoyed to be your servants.” Etragos accepted without hesitation.

“Oh what in the abyss.” I heard Astragoth exclaim before Kalrun silenced him with four hands covering his mouth.

I chose to ignore that and so continued with the charade. “Wonderful, I shall send the others back to the Abyss.” I gestured and the two demons faded away. “I wish to speak with you personally.” I added with a grin, hopefully, it was reassuring.

“Yes, my lord.” The demon said, very respectfully.

He was not this respectful before, but perhaps things were different between demons.

“Jelmak has informed you of the situation?” I inquired.

“Yes my lord, you are besieged by the unlife and wish for us to slay them.” He confirmed with a savage grin.

“I heard you once had a master in Nysegard?”

“Yes great one, he perished some centuries back and I have since never been called to battle.” The demon explained, with a hint of disappointment or perhaps sadness.

“You mourn your former master's death?” I questioned, puzzled at the demon's expression.

“Mourn is a strong word, but he was a warrior and we fought against an overwhelming enemy. He died in glory and I honour his memory, as I honour the Great Khan.” Noble of him, but I was not sure who this great Khan was.

“Well, we shall honour the fallen by battling the unlife once more.” Shaking my fist I tried to act like a noble warrior, it felt kind of weird.

“Yes, you have said this world is infested with the creatures. But this is not Nysegard?” He asked.

“No it is not, I am familiar with Nysegard, a terrible place from what I heard. But this place is not overrun by the unlife as they seem to be part of regular armies.” I explained the situation and he reacted the same way I did.

“Unlife, part of regular armies?” He inquired, incredulous. “Do not tell me they are fighting alongside the living?”

“Yes they are, fighting under the banner of Baron Xavier of Narfalon.” Gerald answered and our eyes went to him.

“This baron must be insane, where in the multiverse am I?” Disgusted and confused, Etragos looked around the room, trying to find answers to these strange questions.

Gerald shrugged, as if this was all normal to him, waving his hand in dismissal. “This is pretty common here. As for your question of where in the multiverse you are. You are in Narfalon, a barony in the duchy of Tregfeld, on the continent of Mylon, in Astlan.” The wizard explained, smiling mischievously. “And if you love killing unlife, we got plenty in this gods forsaken place.” Snorting another line of whatever that crap was, he leaned back on his chair and laughed.

The two of us looked at each other, two demons utterly unnerved by a human wizard. These were strange times, not just for me, but for the poor fiend. He seemed excited at the prospect of killing vampires and zombies but horrified to find a world where the living and the undead were working together.

“Strange times, aren’t they Etragos.” I said to the demon and he nodded as the gravity of it all came crashing down.

Strange times, for him and definitely for me. I only wish I could grasp this insanity, but such things seem to have a habit of piling up.