A Place of New Beginnings
Magsnik's eyes slowly creaked open at the portal's rhythmic brightening, something he had noticed just recently, shined through the window. It was a slight increase in overall brightness, but it was enough that it went from seeing things like one's eyes had just adjusted to the dark to walking in moonlight. He suppressed a groan of frustration as he felt Beel's busty form laid atop him. The memories of last night hit him just as hard as his hangover did.
Fungus beer and Fungus wine did not care whether the person drinking was an ork, daemon, or god damn god, it would make a person drunk and give them a head splitting headache after the fact. Suffice to say, Beel's slightly smaller form did not hold up to the amount of alcoholic beverage he brought out to quench their thirsts during game night. He did not remember what happened after Beel taunted him into a drinking contest.
His body protested as his stomach rumbled, which kept him awake, but it was far too comfortable for him to leave the bed; especially with her arms around his chest. He cursed his weakness as he just laid there, waiting for her to wake up. The only consolation prize he had was that she didn't drool when she slept. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she stirred awake but what she said completely baffled him.
"Good Morning, Master! You had already slept for 8 hours by the time you woke up. It has already been 5 minutes so best to get up to start the day!" Said Beel? With a softer, chipper, and weirdly artificial tone from the foot of his bed before her voice switched again to a more refined tone, but this time it came slightly from a different direction. "Breakfast will be prepared shortly afterwards." Beel was going to cook? That did not sound good and when the hell did she make clones of herself?
"Beel, what the hell. It's too early in the morning." Magsnik complained as he reached up and covered his eyes to avoid the "morning's" light. He did not want to deal with the madness Beel had brewed up when the day was just about to begin.
"Magnsik… I'm not sure how I'm sure how I'm going to say this but those two aren't my clones," Whispered Beel, making him all but bolt out from the bed as he got up. He shielded Beel with his large forearms as he grabbed a nearby candlestick and brandished it threateningly at the intruder inside his personal room.
There, in front of them, stood two immaculately dressed gynoids wearing a stereotypical maid get up. Both looked almost identical if not for the slight differences in their looks, the one to the left sporting softer features to complement the short wavy hair she wore while the one to the right had sharper features to go well with her hair tied up in a ponytail. The two were, for all intents and purposes, maid robots. Based on their appearance anyway.
"Is something wrong Master? Mistress?" The one at the left asked as she looked at them with big doe eyes that brimmed with concern.
"Don't worry Master, Mistress, I have already prepared a hot bath for you to enjoy." The other droid said reassuringly with a self satisfied smile stretching across her face.
"Molly!" The one to the left yelled out indignantly before she turned to her companion, "That's supposed to be my job," She mumbled out as she crossed her across her chest and glared at the now identified Molly.
"Well Emmy, I'm sure our Master here would appreciate the initiative," Molly countered as she smirked at Emmy who could only fume importantly at the other droid.
There in his bed, with Magsnik clutching his blanket protectively against himself and Beel, did they watch the two droids as they argued against one another. Magsnik's eyes twitched as Beel leaned against him while the two argued about which chore was supposed to be their responsibility among other things.
"But you had me feed the backyard animals! Having to do it while that weird creature latched on to my leg made it harder." She retorted before gesturing down to her legs. Magsnik and Beel stared down and watched as the bleeding form of Dirt latched onto the girl's leg, gnawing and chomping down on the extremely tough and resistant skin the two possessed. They looked soft and squishy but the gretchin's teeth did not leave a mark.
"It's not my fault that you slowed down." Molly replied as she looked away.
"You know darn well that that was the hardest job," Emmy accused her, pointing at her as she stomped her other foot in anger.
Molly sneered back at the other girl as she turned around and answered back, "You took it anyways!" This excuse, however, only got Emmy mad as she let out a groan of frustration.
"Because somebody had to do it!" Emmy fired back. Before things came to blows, and after he had finally processed everything, Magsnik decided to intervene. He cleared his throat which quickly stopped the two dead in their tracks as they snapped into attention. With their hands behind their backs, they faced Magnsik who stared at them with tired eyes.
"I'm sorry to bother you two in your argument but," He apologized before he took in a chest full of air and shouted what any reasonable man, woman, and even ork if they were to make up in a situation like this would, "Who the hell are you two and are you two fucking nuts?!" he roared out half hysterically as he pointed at them, "Like who the hell goes inside a house and decides that they're going to do the owners chores without asking them or even introducing themselves?! Like, who does that?!" He questioned out in confusion and righteous anger. He might be blowing up on the two but he damn well knew they invaded his home. No excuse of them being mere machines would convince him as well.
"We… did not introduce ourselves yesterday?" The girl slowly asked as she looked back at them with confusion, "We came in after you two started drinking. We even cleaned up the place after the party." She tried reminding them with hope in her eyes, begging them to recall the night before. Even Molly was concerned as she glanced at Emmy in worry.
"Wait, you two did? How the hell did we… ohhhh," He asked before he remembered more of last night. Magsnik had to blink a few times before the memories came rushing back in which only made him regret the night before even more so. They'd introduced themselves and asked if he was in need of helpers.
"Did we just accept two maid robots while we were black out drunk?" Beel asked as she looked at him. Magsnik could only nod back as he covered his face and dragged both hands down. Yes, he had technically hired them even if he was inebriated. Both droids.
"It seems so, master, mistress, but it doesn't matter! What's important is that you remembered." Molly replied with a chipper tone before she clapped to get their attention. Both of them winced at the sound but the girl merely smiled as she asked them, "So, who's ready for breakfast?"
He took in a deep breath before sighing out and scratching the back of his head. He had landed himself in quite the situation but it wasn't all bad, he supposed. "... you know what, I shouldn't have looked at the mouth of the gift horse." He mumbled out before he looked back at the two, "I would like to apologize for the outburst and if you may." He asked, hoping that he didn't hurt them or anything. He had woken up wrong and he had been intoxicated yesterday.
Both girls beamed as they nodded before responding "Gladly!" At least they were happy now. These girls should be more reasonable, right?
-x-x-x-
Turns out, they were far more reasonable than Beel. He sat there in the kitchen with Beel as they stared down at the steaming hot bowl of noodles before them. Paired with some freshly baked bread, it might have looked simple but the smell was heavenly. He took in a deep breath, savoring the savory scent of the meat stock while the noodles swam beneath its steaming surface, "Noodles… I never had time to make noodles," he whispered out as he reached out to grab the chopsticks he'd made but never got to use.
"I'm glad you like it, Master Magsnik. Maid-Droids such as ourselves come pre-programmed with the dishes and cooking of a thousand and one worlds. From the mountains of Dieprian to the river valleys of Shenlong, we have you covered. Making noodles is a trivial matter even if the flour we use is not made from the grains of the Terran variety," Molly proudly claimed as she scooped another serving for a rather ravenous Beel.
Not even Dirt was immune to their charms as the Gretchin ate his noodles down on the floor. Magsnik refused to look down and observe the creature as they grabbed the noodles with their bare hands and shoved it inside their mouth.
"I honestly didn't know that the orkoid ecosystem hosted such a variety of edible, albeit deadly, produce." Emmy commented as she picked up one of my vegetables and inspected it.
"I can't blame you there. You have to specifically find a mature enough Fungal Forest to find these and most get destroyed due to war." He acknowledged with a nod as he looked down at his own bowl with eager anticipation. The cutlets of meat were cooked to perfection and it even sported fish cakes with swirls on them.
"My apologies, but aren't Masters species warlike?" She asked before she recounted her experiences with his race so far, "All I've ever heard about your species is from the noosphere as well from the training program both of us underwent through which… require us to shoot orks on sight. I'm really sorry master! We didn't know that ork's could be reasonable and civilized, much less become our master," The girl was quick to apologize for the perceived slight and Magnsik couldn't help but sigh out as he reached out and gave the girl a pat on the head. The way the girl tensed up before her shoulders fell down was a good sign though he had to deal with the glares now being sent her way by her companion.
"There's nothing to apologize for Emmy because Orks, by our very nature, crave war and most of us are drooling idiots," He admitted as he stared back at his reflection before looking over to the gretchin too busy licking their bowl clean. He silently thanked his past self for their wisdom in spending time carving out crude, yet proper bowls for the wretch. "Also, yes, shoot them. If you ever see another ork in the tree line. Shoot them. If any other ork so much as show their face in the farm, just shoot them." He repeated, stressing out the need for violence when dealing with his kind.
"B-but," they both stuttered out in indecision, but he was there to stamp out the logical fault his very existence must have brought up inside them.
"Emmy, I'm not one to ask much from someone but please, please just shoot them on sight. I am an exception, not the example of more civilized orks." He begged her which shook the girl out of her funk as she nodded in understanding.
"Understood, master." Molly nodded, needing no further explanation from him.
"Good. Thank you Molly," he thanked the girl, at which Emmy glared at her with what he could only assume was jealousy? He really wasn't sure and he looked over to Beel for help but she was far too busy with her third serving.
"Oh my gods! You should-" Beel gushed out before she slurped up the noodles from her, chewing them and moaning out with each bite into her squig cutlets, "Really try this out! Thank you for the meal!" She added out to further emphasize her point.
"I'm glad you like it, mistress," Molly beamed at the praise before she turned towards him in anticipation. He was the only one that was yet to eat and the girl looked eager to have him taste their cooking. His mouth was already watering at this point and he didn't waste anymore time as he dug in.
One bite turned into another as he quickly joined Beel in pigging out. He slurped up the noodles with gusto as he tasted the salty and savory sauce mixing in with the noodles. He gobbled everything up and he made sure to drain the bowl before he even thought of placing it down. He looked down at the empty bowl and found himself wanting as he held out the bowl in front of the smug maidbot as she gave him another serving.
Despite how delicious it was, he took a more sedate pace with eating the second serving as he praised the girl, "I have to admit, having a trained cook make the meal for you makes quite the difference," He could cook, yes, but this was leagues above it and they had access to the one ingredient he had been missing all this time, Salt. "Where did you even get the salt for this?" He asked, wondering how they managed to acquire such a precious ingredient. He had to rely on smoking and drying to cure his meat and even then he wasn't confident it'd last for more than a few weeks.
"Oh, we Maidbots come equipped with an STC wholly dedicated to cooking which contains the necessary instructions to manufacture some common ingredients as well as utensils and tools." Emmy explained. Truly, Dark Age Humanity's technology is a marvel to behold and this only made his decision all the easier to make. Standing up, he then got down on his knees which made the bot turn red especially after he grabbed hold of her hands.
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"M-master! This is improper. You can't-" The girl sputtered out but he wasn't having any of it as he pressed his finger against her lips. This had the girl turning red as she stared at him, clearly flustered by his gesture. Molly blustered and bristled so he made sure to say it as bluntly as he could to avoid any misunderstanding.
"Emmy, Molly, I'm not really good at this but please, be my maids. I might have asked you this yesterday but I'll ask you once more now that I'm sober. I can't go back to eating food without proper seasoning!" He begged them, pleading to them on his knees. He was pretty damn sure they used MSG here as well and as good as his produce was, his cooking was lacking. He relied too much on butter, truffle, onions and spiciness to make up for the lack of salt.
"O-oh. We're more than happy too." Emmy blinked out as she sagged but she sported a bright smile on her lips. Molly herself looked happy so that solved that and he sighed out in relief.
"Awww, so sweet. And here I thought you weren't a sentimental man, Magsnik," Beel crooned out before he slurped up her noodles. Not even that could hide the smug, teasing smirk she sported as she snickered out at his expense.
"Shut it you," He fired back half heartedly as he got up. He had to get down on his knees as the girls were human sized which meant they were half the size of Beel. He really didn't appreciate just how tall the daemon was until the two bots reminded him how small humans were.
"Be careful Magsnik,~ you don't know just how much trouble you'll land yourself in if you keep sending mixed signals," She teased him as she finished her final bowl and he rolled his eyes at that. Setting her bowl aside, she stretched as she then said, "That was an amazing meal. I'm glad you're hiring them, Magsnik, but I have to go now. The rift above isn't going to observe itself and I do have to ward off the Tzeentchian daemons that are getting a bit nosy."
He waved her off, letting her do her thing. She did help with passing the time and the produce had been stored. The small grain silo he had was full and the pantry was stocked. These were the few days where he could just relax and do his daily chores.
Turning to his two new maids, he then said, "Now, on the matter of your payment." He might be just a farmer but that doesn't mean he couldn't pay. He was by no means a cheapskate and he would not deprive his workers of their payment.
"Payment?" The two replied as they tilted their heads towards him.
-x-x-x-
It turns out that Maid bots did not take any form of payment. Service itself was enough for them and thus, he had two extra pairs of helping hands dealing with his daily chores. Still, he had insisted, and now they had a shared room next to the masters bedroom. He had a lot of room upstairs and he wasn't aching for space. He had to fight tooth and nail for them not to take up residence in his closet. He already had enough room invaders as it is.
Now that he was fed and his head was no longer pounding, he could start his day but that was how he ran into his current problem, "All done!" Emmy proudly replied as she held up a sack of grains while Molly was stacking them atop a wooden pallet the two made to make it easier for both of them to carry it away. Turns out, Maid droids could get a lot of things done over night if they worked non stop.
"I should go wash my clothes then," Magsnik nodded as he turned back home only for Molly to call out to him.
"No need to worry about that master," The girl said as she stacked the last of the grain. Dusting herself, she then gestured to the clothesline they made in his backyard. The clothes fluttered in the cold wind blowing down from the crater rim above, "They're now drying at the back. We even made some replacement soap for you! The lye soap you've been making was a bit harsh so we had to forage for some products to help us synthesize the chemicals we needed. Orkoid ecosystems are truly versatile, we found almost everything in one fungi!" She added with a large smile.
Magsnik couldn't help but blick before nodding appreciatively at that. Truly, Molly had quite the foresight, "Huh… neat. How about the squigs?" He then questioned as he wondered if he had any chores he could do now.
"They're happy and fed. Dirt helped me! He's cute now that he's no longer trying to chew my legs off," Emmy piped up. He peered towards the cages and found that the squigs were happily napping away with their bellies filled with food and Dirt having to deal with the refuse as the gretchin used a shovel to gather the dung for fertilizer.
"I think we need firewood…" He replied cautiously, wondering if they had already done that as well. The night after all can get quite cold and there was the ever constant need for fuel to keep the pot heated.
"We already made some when we were making soap," Molly pointed out as she walked over to stand beside Emmy. The two looked as immaculate as they were a few hours ago. Not a single speck remained on their uniform and even the smudges on their aprons were cleaned away by what looked like silvery fuzz.
"... You two did all the chores, didn't you?" he asked as he gave up on thinking up on chores he could do.
"Naturally, Master Magsnik," Both girls piped up happily and with a hint of pride tinging their voices. The two really did enjoy working, didn't they? If these are the maids that humanity once had serving them, no wonder they lost hard once their robotic creations rebelled.
"I have… actual free time now?" He uttered out because for once, he didn't have to do anything in the morning. He was actually free for the whole day to pursue whatever he wished.
"That you do master. Let us handle everything,~" Emmy reassured him and he wasn't one to say no to that. After all, what would a retirement be if he couldn't relax from time to time? He'd definitely earned this rest. Having these two girls around was a game changer. He'd be sure to always keep them happy.
"I'll leave you two girls. Don't work yourself too hard alright?" He requested them. Machines they may be, they were sapient in all measures if his eyes didn't deceive him and if they were sapient, they had the spark of a soul.
The girl waved him off as he returned to go back to his house to grab a notebook as well as a pencil case full of charcoal fashioned into long narrow sticks. If he was free today, he was going to do something he was looking forward to but never had time to do. Grabbing a stool, he walked over to the edge of his farm and plopped himself in front of a large tree. There were countless varieties of trees in his crater and this one just so happened to be the most common. It was a simple mushroom with a very tall and narrow cap that tapered to a rounded point. It was tall, grew as straight as a pine tree and actually had the same shape, but the cap was just one solid piece instead of the layered branches that a pine had.
With his model in view, he started to sketch. It was crude and certainly no work of art, but it was enough to be vaguely recognizable. He quickly jotted down the notes he had on the tree including how fast it grew, how good the wood of the tree was, its characteristics and everything in between. He let out a happy sigh as time felt like it flew away while he sat there in front of the tree. This was the life.
"What are you doing, master?" Emmy suddenly asked behind him before she peered from his side. He raised an eyebrow at her but he didn't shoo her away as he showed off his work.
"Just drawing. I kinda decided to catalog every mushroom in an orkoid ecosystem for the hell of it." he answered casually.
"I could help you with it?" Emmy offered. He sighed out but he kept his smile as he knew that the girl was just trying to be helpful. It was probably her nature.
"Oh, no need to worry about it, Emmy. I'm only doing this to burn some time. I also need practice drawing." He respectfully declined. The hurt in those big innocent eyes of her hurt him. It wasn't fair that she had weapons grade cuteness by her side.
"Emmy, stop bothering Master," Molly called out as she walked up to them with a broom in hand.
"I'm just trying to help him, Molly," Emmy countered with a pout in her lips but that only got her a flat look from the companion.
"Clearly, your help is unwanted," Molly pointed out before she sauntered up to him in quite the suggestive way before hopping up to his lap. "How about I'll help you master?~ I'm programmed for more than just droid work," She asked suggestively as she gave him a wink. He started counting down from ten as a second Beel had appeared in his farm.
"You hussy!" Molly hissed out as she glared daggers at the girl who was leaning against his chest. The way her hands glided against his shirt was not doing his sanity any favor. He refused to acknowledge them now as he returned to his work.
"Speaks the girl with an addiction,~" The girl on his lap teased his companion who turned an interesting shade of red from the accusation.
"It's only stress relief!" Emmy sputtered out as she turned away and covered her chest. "And why do you insist on watching!?" She then shouted.
"Honey, there's a difference between stress relief and whatever you're doing behind closed doors," Molly laughed out as she hopped off his lap. He let out a sigh of relief as the tease finally got off but his problem was only just beginning.
"I really could have gone without knowing those details," He groaned out in frustration and partly in pain as he tried his best to scrub his mind of anything lewd.
"Now look at what you did, you've made the master upset!" Emmy snapped to which Molly sputtered in indignation.
"Me?! We'll look at who's talking. Besides, Shouldn't you be preparing the preserved meats like the mistress asked you too?" She squawked out, flustered before she reminded her companion of the task she had yet to do.
"W-well, you should go back to doing… whatever you are doing right now!" Emmy lamely countered.
"Whatever, at least I'm not the one fucking up,~" Molly flicked her hair as he gazed back at the other girl with a smug grin on her face.
Molly marched up to the girl and jabbed her finger at her chest before accusing her, "You're one to talk when it was your fault we got trapped under the iceberg for literal millennia!"
"That's ancient history dear. I'm sure the master would rather have me around since obviously I'm the one that's more capable between the two of us," She waved it off but she refused to look either of them in the eyes.
What the hell was going on here? Magsnik questioned inside the privacy of his mind as he slowly set his book aside. He slowly sat up but that went unnoticed as the two's argument started to heat up. Things were getting hairy fast.
"Oh yeah? At least I'm the one that the master asked to serve him, not you, me. He asked me and just probably added you out of sympathy!" Emmy smugly replied as she grinned out even if her face was red from her declaration.
"You're the one that'll be tossed out first and not me!" Molly then snapped out making Emmy step back as the other girl was fuming with tears welling in the girls eyes.
"Says the girl that got thrown in the brig first!" Emmy snapped back and this was the straw that broke the camel's back as Molly let out an inarticulate shout of rage as the two bots glared at each other.
"You! You bitch!" Molly snarled out before she launched herself at Emmy without any warning. The two started pulling at each other's dress as they tumbled across the field. Magnsik immediately rushed for them, grabbing them by the collar and pulled them apart with great effort. Even when he was man handling them like common pups, they were still trying to get at each other's throat.
Magnsik snarled out as he promptly roared at them, "Enough! Both of you, stand down!" He glared at the two as they withered under his gaze, "Now, I'm going to put you two down and I expect you to be reasonable or I'll be unreasonable, got it?" He asked through gritted teeth and the two nodded meekly. Slowly he set them down and they stood there in attention, awaiting his words.
Magsnik let out a huff as he reached up the back of his head, "Before you two say anything else, why the hell are you two arguing about who'll be kicked out of the farm of all things?" He asked out incredulously, "I could understand if you have a history between you two, but your argument has to be the stupidest thing I've heard in a while and I've lived with Orks the majority of my life!" He shouted as he threw his hands up in frustration. He paced in front of them as he waited for them to give an answer. Emmy looked ashamed while Molly was still gathering her wits as she wiped her cheeks.
Patiently he waited, counting down from a hundred to help him calm his nerves before finally one of them answered, "There's only so many things to do in the farm," Emmy whispered as she grabbed hold of her wrist while she fidgeted in place.
"And we're afraid that once we lose our use, you'll toss us out." Molly sniffed out and rubbed the tears off her cheeks.
Magsnik pursed his lips as he took in a deep breath before sighing out as he ran his hands across his bald head. All this ruckus just for that?
"Do you think the farm will remain static?" He asked and the two shook their heads, "The farm is small for now but it won't be in the future. I'm planning on expanding it, maybe even encompassing the entire valley floor given the chance. I'll need every bit of help on the way." He reasoned out as his shoulders sagged. He wasn't used to dealing with drama like this.
The two stared down towards the ground as they stood there. Magnsik just allowed them to process everything, letting them handle it at their own pace. They stood there for a few minutes before they looked up at each other.
"Molly… should we tell him?" Emmy asked.
"He didn't really ask us about what we did before this," Molly mumbled.
"And I'll never ask you about what you did in the past because I don't care," Magsnik grumbled out. Gently grabbing the two by the shoulder, he pointed at the field, "You see the field before you? It's barren and devoid of crops ain't it?" he then asked as he swept his hand across the field, showing off just how bare it was. Freshly harvested of crops, not a single mushroom sprouted in the field.
"Yes?" The two replied as they looked at her with uncertainty in their eyes.
"That's just how much fucks I give about what you did before you came to my farm," He nodded.
"Not even if we participated in-" Emmy wondered out before he hushed her with fingers against her lip.
"Not even that I would like to hear. I do not care what you did, I care what you do after the fact," He replied, who was he to judge a person's past when he himself had quite the checkered history. People can make mistakes and an unrepentant asshole would still be an asshole. They might be Women of Iron but they weren't bad people now. They could have easily killed him in his sleep but they choose to just clean his house and do his chores. Even Beel was black out drunk so the deed could have been done without much fuss.
The two looked unsure but they weren't at each other's throat at least, "I'm sorry Molly… I shouldn't have said those words," Emmy then apologized and he looked up at the rift in relief.
"I'm sorry Emmy. I shouldn't have been mean to you," Molly apologized as well.
The two jumped in surprise as he patted them both on the head before they sighed out. He didn't know why the two liked head pats, but he wasn't going to deprive them of a treat when they'd learned something important today, "Now, with that settled. Who here wants to help me clear up the wood around my farm? I'm looking to expand and you two need some work to help clear your mind of this nonsense," He asked with a grin on his face. The forest had become a bit overgrown and with Dirt coming into being, he expected more Gretchins and Snotlings to arrive. Even Boyz wouldn't be out of the question now.
"That sounds wonderful, master," Molly replied as she beamed at him with a smile that rivaled that of Emmy's. He snorted out laughing as he straightened up and gestured for them to follow. He had enough sketching for today. Besides, he could do that after his farm was secured.
And so, that was how his day started off, with two maid bots suddenly barging into his life just like how Beel did when she crashed into his. He had a feeling that they wouldn't be the last companions he'd gain over the course of his retirement. Who knows? Maybe he'll have people from every race living under his roof, or at least living within earshot of his farm, but who was he to know? It was simply too ridiculous of an idea anyways, not like it'd happen.