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A Villain's Guide to a Dream Life
1: A Not So Pleasant Transmigration

1: A Not So Pleasant Transmigration

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ming Yu!” A short boy with messily cropped black hair said, bowing.

“Oh. I’m Ling He. Why are you here?” A taller boy with a tired expression asked disinterestedly.

“I have a really bad illness, so I came here to recuperate!” Ming Yu exclaimed, hopping into the bed next to Ling He’s.

“You don’t seem to be sick at all.”

“Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you gotta be sad! Don’t you agree?”

Ling He shrugged, pushing his hair out of his face. He didn’t know how to answer that. “What about you? Why are you here?” Ming Yu asked, leaning out of his bed to stare at Ling He with wide, curious eyes.

“I also have a really bad illness.” Ling He replied, gesturing at Ming Yu to sit back into his bed safely.

“That’s great! Wait no, that’s not good. Having an illness is bad, but it’s great, because we can be friends!”

Ling He grimaced. He couldn’t ever imagine himself becoming friends with such a cheerful, happy-go-lucky boy. Especially not with his condition. And besides, once Ming Yu’s illness was cured and he finished recuperating, they’d probably never meet again. He shouldn’t get his hopes up, after all, his illness wasn’t something that could be cured with a little rest.

No one in the ward could remember exactly how it had happened either, not the nurses, not the other patients, not even the two themselves. But somehow, the two boys with varying personalities and interests slowly became friends over time, as if fate had intended for them to become the best of friends. The two did everything together, whether it be consoling the other while taking blood samples or medicine, or even just playing around in the ward. It was more uncommon to see Ling He and Ming Yu not together. Everything was peaceful and calm and happy.

But one day, that idyllic life in the hospital slowly shattered apart. “Ling He! I’m leaving tomorrow!” Ming Yu sobbed, clinging onto Ling He’s arm like it was a lifeline.

“It’s alright. We’ll be able to meet sometimes.”

“You promise, right?”

“I promise, Ming Yu. And once I leave the hospital, I’ll definitely come to visit you.” Ling He reassured, patting Ming Yu’s head,

“A-and we’ll be neighbours too?” Ming Yu sniffled, rubbing his tears away.

“Yeah. We’ll have playdates every day and eat all sorts of candy.”

“Alright then! You gotta keep the promise!” Ming Yu exclaimed, cheering up immediately.

He watched as Ming Yu clambered into his car, plopping down next to his mother with a happy expression, smiling at Ling He.

Ling He waved to Ming Yu, not stopping until the car was completely out of sight. Although he was happy Ming Yu had been discharged, a forlorn expression was still present on his face. When would he be able to leave the hospital?

-

Instead of feeling overjoyed at a second chance at life, the only emotion Ling He felt when he woke up was guilt. He’d died, and though he’d finally gotten that affirmation he wanted that Ming Yu and Rong Yao would be his friends no matter what, he’d left them behind with what was definitely a wound that would scar. As he sat up and took in his surroundings, he couldn’t help but let out a remorseful sigh. Maybe in another life, they'll end up as friends again? Fate was a strange thing after all. And though his wish for transmigration had been fulfilled, he had no clue where he ended up, or as who either. “I mean.. If this is like all those other transmigration stories, I’ll unlock the OOC feature eventually, right?” He asked himself.

Ling He leaned out of the bed, reaching to grab something on a nearby wooden table to examine it. Before he could do much, a sudden jolt of pain spiked through his back, and he wobbled precariously at the edge of the bed. With a soft thump, he dropped to the floor in a heap of limbs and loose robes. Pushing himself up, he rubbed his sore back and sighed. If he had transmigrated into some sickly, noble young master, he was going to lose it.

“Ling-shixiong? Are you alright in there?” A crisp voice asked before he could keep venting his frustrations.

Ling He paused. He groaned quietly once he processed the name he’d been called. Though he’d already deduced that he was in a cultivation novel (there was a conspicuous sword leaning against the bed frame), he had no clue which previously. Now, hearing the name ‘Ling-shixiong’, he knew precisely where he was and who he was, though it wasn’t a good thing. He was Ling He, courtesy name Ling Luoying, the Head Disciple of the scholar peak of the Qiuhai Mountain Sect.

If one were asked to describe Head Disciple Ling Luoying, the words that would come to mind were not at all pleasant to hear. Egoistic, rude, conniving. The only reason Ling Luoying became the Head Disciple of his peak, was because he was sly enough to wriggle his way up the ranks. Truly befitting of a strategist and a villain. However, Ling Luoying wasn’t one of the major villains as one might think, he was just a bottom feeding small-fry working for the antagonist! And to top it all off, he was killed by his own sect siblings after they discovered his betrayal!

Ling He and Ling Luoying may have shared the same birth name, but they had almost nothing else in common. For one, Ling Luoying was one of the most avid harassers of the protagonist, Shi Lianfeng, and even tried to kill the protagonist a few times. But honestly, Ling He could understand why Ling Luoying despised Shi Lianfeng so much. If he was the Head Disciple of Anlue Peak, a famed peak of a famed sect, and some random brat from the streets stole his position as Head Disciple and the attention of everyone around him, he’d be mad too. But not to the point of harassment and attempted murder! To be frank, Ling He would've preferred to be a sickly young master than Ling Luoying, because at least a sickly young master wouldn't die as painfully as Ling Luoying did!

And Ling He now had no choice but to try and drag Ling Luoying’s fate away from a painful and torturous death, because if he wasn’t careful, it would be his fate.

“Oh great gods, out of all the people I could’ve been, this is who I get transmigrated into?” He complained to himself as he sat back on the bed.

[Apologies, Host! There is actually no way to pick who you become after the transmigration!]

Ling He fell back against the headboard with a choked gasp, gaping at the pixie thing fluttering in front of his face. “What… are you?”

[Greetings! I am the Happiness Transmigration System! Host may call me MiSi for short! I am here to ensure the Host gets his dream life!]

“Excuse me?”

[Repeating, I am the Happiness Transmigration System! Host may call me MiSi for short! I am here to ensure the Host gets his dream life!]

“Yeah, ok. I get it now.” Ling He muttered.

Today was going to be a long, long day.

“So basically, all I have to do is make sure I keep the story interesting?” To Ling He's surprise, this 'system' was actually really lax with the rules!

[Host is correct! But it is advised to keep as in character as possible, to make sure there are no inconsistencies!]

“Oh. Alright. That should be easy enough. Does that mean I should refer to myself as Ling Luoying?” Ling He asked.

[That is the best option for Host, in my opinion!]

After getting an earful of MiSi’s not so reliable information about the story and reliable information about what he could and couldn't do, Ling He sighed. Adapting to Ling Luoying’s identity wasn’t going to be hard, it was acting out the plot that was going to be hard. He had no particular interest in getting battered every time he went to do his traitorous things with the villain. Nor did he have an interest in getting that gruesome death that the original Ling Luoying suffered.

As he fiddled around with ideas, a sudden genius idea came to mind. “Hey, MiSi! It doesn’t matter what I do, as long as the story’s interesting, right?”

[Host is correct! However, it would be best if Host-]

“Alright, thanks, MiSi!”

[Eh? What is Host planning?]

Ling Luoying grinned wickedly. Happy had agreed that as long as the story was interesting and kept the readers desperately wanting more, it was okay no matter what he did. That meant Ling Luoying didn’t have to go through with that terrible death!

As long as he was able to ensure that the story was interesting for the readers, he was fine! Ling Luoying had never felt more overjoyed. “And, as long as I can do this, I’ll be able to live peacefully, with my friends?”

[If that is Host’s dream life, then yes, you can. But remember, if the protagonist dies, so does the world.]

Ling Luoying’s determination was immediately fueled to the maximum, despite MiSi’s ominous warning. If it meant he could construct a life with Ming Yu and Rong Yao, he’d complete this story perfectly!

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“Alright! MiSi, I’ll make sure that this story is the most interesting one out there!” He exclaimed.

Ling Luoying had to admit, getting reincarnated was more eventful-sounding than he’d expected. But perhaps that was because he was in an unfamiliar world that had mechanics almost entirely different to the ones on Earth, even though there was the danger of death at every corner of his journey.

‘Turns out I don’t even need an OOC feature. I’ll be as OOC as I want to be, and then I’ll show Ming Yu and Rong Yao just how much I’ve grown over time once I finish this.’

-

“Ling-shixiong, can I come in?” The voice asked again, jolting Ling Luoying from his plans.

He silently applauded the guy for standing there so patiently for so long while he was talking things out with Happy. Even he would've started to feel annoyed, though he wouldn't have showed it, of course. “Alright. Enter.” Ling Luoying replied, massaging his temples.

A bony young man with scruffy hair tugged back into a messy bun walked in, tea tray in hand. As he set down the tea tray on the wooden table, he sighed. “Ling-shixiong, I know I’m in no place to say this to you, but don’t be too hard on Shi-shidi in the future weeks, alright?”

Ling Luoying paused. “Pardon? Shi-shidi?”

The young man nodded. “Yes! Although he’s not entirely out of the wrong, Shi-shidi really didn’t try to attack you back then.”

Ling Luoying quickly scrolled through his memories of the book and adaptations he’d read and watched, trying to pin the voice and face to a name. “Fang-shidi?”

“Yes? Is there anything Ling-shixiong needs?” Fang Yuan asked, pouring Ling Luoying a cup of steaming tea.

“What’s the date?” Ling Luoying asked with a feeling of impending doom.

“It’s been three days since you led a group of disciples to seal some demons nearby. We were all so worried when Shi-shidi came back with you! Of course, Zheng-shibo is researching ways to cure your condition, but…”

Ling Luoying sighed. He’d already had a rough idea of what arc he was in, but Fang Yuan’s words were still really depressing to hear.

Basically, three days ago, the original Ling Luoying had taken a group of disciples from Anlue Peak to seal some demons in some nearby towns. However, there was a surprisingly strong demon that no one had expected to be there. In a moment of carelessness from Shi Lianfeng, Ling Luoying was hit by a curse from the demon, turning his inky black hair snow white and imprinting a jagged snowflake marking on his heart. Stranger still was that no one knew what on Earth that marking was.

Furious that he’d been cursed, Ling Luoying had used his power as the Head Disciple to horribly abuse Shi Lianfeng. It was this occurrence that ultimately led to Ling Luoying’s immense hatred of Shi Lianfeng, and said disciple’s rise to power.

“Fang-shidi, where’s Shi-shidi?” Ling Luoying asked.

“Shi-shidi? Well, as per your instructions, he’s currently challenging the Guiyin Caves.”

“Did you just say… Guiyin Caves?”

“Yes, Ling-shixiong. Personally, I think the Guiyin Caves are a bit too hard for him, but I’m sure you have a reason for it.”

Ling Luoying felt his life flash before his very eyes. He pressed a hand to his forehead, more dramatically than he should’ve. It was all over for him. Everything was over. He wasn’t going to live to see another day. ‘Farewell, life.’ He thought grimly.

-

‘Racing Against Divinity’ was your average stallion novel with an overpowered male protagonist (who just so happened to be the offspring of a powerful demon), large harem of women, and the usual abuse-from-someone-turned-him-evil revenge plot line. The protagonist, Shi Lianfeng, went through years of abuse at the hands of his shixiong, a minor villain named Ling Luoying. Why did this happen? Well, it was because of Shi Lianfeng’s unparalleled talent in cultivation, of course! Within a year of joining the sect, he’d become well-known to the point he’d be greeted wherever he went. Of course the potential of a protagonist was better than that of a cannon-fodder villain. Because of this, the Peak Lord of Anlue Peak, the one Shi Lianfeng was cultivating at, re-elected Shi Lianfeng into his Head Disciple.

Thus, Ling Luoying was kicked away to the dirt and forgotten, stripped of his title. Alongside that, no matter his achievements, they all paled in comparison to the ones completed by Shi Lianfeng. Blinded by jealousy and rage, Ling Luoying made a deal with a Demon Lord to try and bring the protagonist down! Of course, this fails thanks to Shi Lianfeng's indestructible plot armour, and the only thing it does is help the protagonist unlock his potential as a demon.

Obviously now the revenge plot starts and the protagonist returns to get revenge on Ling Luoying. He ruins his life by leaking the fact that Ling Luoying was a traitor to the entirety of the Qiuhai Mountain Sect. To the satisfaction of all the readers, Ling Luoying was given a death at the hands of his sect siblings so horrible it couldn't be mentioned in the novel.

Now that the minor villain was dealt with, the real and most interesting part of the plot began. Corrupted by his demonic energy, Shi Lianfeng goes on a rampage and takes over half of the world, drawing both demonic and righteous cultivator women into his harem. As he’s about to finally end the world, the most exciting part of any story happens…

The male lead meets the female lead!

Somehow immediately smitten, the protagonist falls in love at once. They kiss, blah blah blah and get married, blah blah blah and go on countless adventures. Basically just a bunch of your average novelly stuff, except… the protagonist is still evil!? And the female lead supports his actions?!

They even end up taking over the three realms, ruling over humans, ghosts and gods alike as the Emperor and Empress of the Three Realms!?

What kind of trashy, cliche novel was this!?

Ling Luoying had hated this novel since the very first moment he laid eyes on it, but he still begrudgingly read it to satisfy Rong Yao and Ming Yu’s love for strange literature. But now, seeing his conditions, it was safe to say that he was extremely thankful for their endless jabbering and prodding at him to read it. Ling Luoying sighed with an air of melancholy. In all those transmigration novels he’d read, everyone seemed so overjoyed to have a second chance at life, but that was probably because they had nothing left in their first lives. Ling Luoying wasn’t the same. He had friends and family back in his old life that he cherished.

For the sake of them, he’d do the best he could to complete this novel and get that dream life and live peacefully! While making sure he didn’t die as gruesomely as the original Ling Luoying, that is. And first off on the list of things to do to prevent a gruesome death and achieve a peaceful life was to make an escape plan!

-

“Hey, Ling-shixiong, where are you going!?” Fang Yuan exclaimed, running after Ling Luoying.

“Fang-shidi, please don’t follow me. There is something I must check.” Ling Luoying instructed, fumbling with the sash of his outer robes.

“Wait! At least bring your sword, Ling-shixiong!” Fang Yuan screeched, tossing the sword propped on the bed frame at him.

“Oh yeah. Many thanks, Fang-shidi. I’ll be off now.”

Ling Luoying fumbled his way to the Guiyin Caves, relying solely on his prior knowledge of the Qiuhai Mountain Sect’s geography he read off the manhua. “Shi Lianfeng! Shi Lianfeng!” He called, twisting his way through the vast bamboo forest planted around the Guiyin Caves.

His calls echoed blankly across the sea of bamboo, no reply coming from any direction. Ling Luoying once again prayed that Shi Lianfeng hadn’t received too much damage, otherwise he’d probably get that murder ending whether he liked it or not!

Although ‘Racing Against Divinity’ had outlined the strong ghostly energy around the Guiyin Caves, actually experiencing it for himself was something Ling Luoying never wanted to do again. It was an uncomfortable feeling, akin to being gently pressed down by a giant. That feeling of suffocation grew more and more as he got closer to the cave. Seeing a tattered scrap of bloodied light teal and white fabric that made up the Anlue Peak uniform, Ling Luoying smiled. It looked like Shi Lianfeng had managed to escape from the Guiyin Caves after all, albeit it was with injuries.

Until he saw a blood-splattered trail leading not out of the Guiyin Caves, as he’d expected, but further inside.

“Oh my god. That idiot protagonist genuinely went further in than the first cave!?” Ling Luoying gaped, unsheathing his sword.

The Guiyin Caves was one of the cultivation domains inside the Qiuhai Mountain Sect that disciples could challenge in their free time to strengthen themselves. As it was the strongest of all the cultivation caves, usually only Peak Lords or people with high cultivations came to challenge it. But the original Ling Luoying actually sent a Qi Refinement level cultivator inside solo!?

Ling Luoying charged into the Guiyin Caves, conscious of each and every splatter of blood and gouge on the cave walls and floor. Because of the overwhelming darkness of the surroundings, he couldn't tell if they were made by Shi Lianfeng or others before him. “That idiot protagonist… why didn’t he leave after finishing the first cave?” Ling Luoying hissed, running past the dissolving carcass of a grotesquely killed giant three-headed snake, sickly sweet venom still dripping from its fangs.

He sprinted through the gigantic caves, dodging deadly stalagmites, stalactites, cobwebs and carcasses and counting each and every cave Shi Lianfeng had advanced through with a heavy heart.

One, two, three.

Ling Luoying stumbled to a halt in the third cave, in front of a massive demonic hound, still struggling pitifully for life. Flickering embers dropped off its dark coat, matted with gunky blood and talismans. Ling Luoying's face hardened, unconsciously hiding his fear away in the depths of his heart. With a vicious roar, the demonic hound charged at Ling Luoying, beady red eyes fixed on his dantian area. With a sharp noise of metal, Ling Luoying jumped and ducked through the demonic hound's bumbling attacks. Thankfully, Shi Lianfeng wasn't in the third cave, otherwise his drunk-looking dodges and attacks would've definitely confirmed that he wasn't actually Ling Luoying. Ling Luoying swiped wildly with the blade, sending pebbles clattering to the floor in tumult. He couldn't tell how many hits landed, but it was definitely enough to annoy the demonic hound.

With a bloodcurdling howl, the demonic hound gathered all of its demonic energy into its jaws, charging with an intensity it didn't have before. Ling Luoying swerved wildly with an exclamation of shock, lancing his hand on a stalagmite. Taking his opportunity when the beast was still close to him, he slashed his sword down with his free hand, plunging it in the hound's head with a sickening squelching noise. "Why are you still alive!?" Ling Luoying screamed as the demonic hound turned with salivating jaws and claws at the ready.

Just as the demonic hound grazed his stomach with bloodstained claws, Ling Luoying tugged his sword free, sending gooey black blood splattering onto his cheek and robes. Using whatever knowledge that had seeped into his brain from the action manhwas he'd read, he parried the blow, the jarring sound of claws against metal radiating through the cave. 'I have to hurry this up and find Shi Lianfeng.' Ling Luoying thought to himself, gritting his teeth as he twisted his wrist with a sharp crack.

Dislocating his wrist gave him better mobility, it was true, but it was something Ling Luoying never wanted to experience again. 'The things I'll do for a random fictional character.' He thought to himself wryly.

'Oh well. It's just a sense of self-preservation I guess.'

Ling Luoying swiped his sword at the demonic hound as it turned to charge again. "Are you a bull or a wolf!?" He yelled in frustration.

As he fumbled with his sword, parrying and attacking wildly, Ling Luoying really regretted not learning more from his friends' interests. If he'd focused more on those crappy animes with ridiculously overpowered protagonists Rong Yao loved or the levelling-up manhwas and web novels Ming Yu enjoyed, he'd probably have more of a clue on how to use a sword.

By some miracle of fate (perhaps the gods finally cared about him!), Ling Luoying managed to slay the demonic hound by stabbing its skull again. He gasped and panted, sweat running in rivulets down his face and back. Though it was stressful being at the verge of death, he had to admit that it was exhilarating to feel so... alive.

Ling Luoying clutched his wrist, forcefully pulling his hand off the stalagmite. He gritted his teeth. There was no time for him to start crying here of all places, especially when the protagonist was still somewhere within the caves. 'You suffered through so much more back in the hospital, so stop blubbering and find the protagonist.' He lectured himself severely. Tearing a strip of now dirty cloth from the bottom of his outer robe, he used his free hand to fasten it around his hand, fumbling around. "Keep moving... no big deal. Find Shi Lianfeng." He gasped, ignoring the pulsing pain in his hand.

-

Ling Luoying found a heavily wounded Shi Lianfeng sitting against the farthest wall of the fourth cave, sword limply clasped in his hand. He was surrounded by a sea of corpses from the demonic beasts he'd slaughtered, so grotesque that Ling Luoying had to turn away for a second. He picked his way past their rapidly dissolving carcasses, making his slow way towards the protagonist, drenched in blood like he'd just taken a shower in it. Though his injuries were mostly obscured by the darkness and blood, Ling Luoying remembered that the book described that he was so tattered he was practically more injury than human. Though it was obscure to keep the book safe from the content restrictions, there was surely nothing good that could come out of it if it was so bad it couldn't even be mentioned.

Sensing Ling Luoying's presence, Shi Lianfeng lifted his head with a weak groan. “Ling-shixiong…” He breathed, coughing up blood.

“Stay alive until we get to Yaocao Peak, moron!” Ling Luoying shouted, scooping Shi Lianfeng into his arms and sliding his shidi's sword into place next to his own.

He sprinted out of the caves, ignoring the nicks and scratches he got in the process, hell-bent on making sure Shi Lianfeng survived this whole ordeal with less damage than he'd suffered in the original.

He didn't care how OOC he was being, all that mattered was that the protagonist survived. Because if Shi Lianfeng needed to survive this, otherwise Ling Luoying wouldn’t survive this either.