Yes, I am a seed...
a plant sort of seed...
a none-living entity...
...
not even an animal, a plant. a baby plant, a seed, not even a sprout...
don't ask me how, don't even ask me why, that's just what my new 'memories' tells me. from what I get, the knowledge is inherent? It seem to be the same for animals or as the 'memories' calls them 'beasts', it tells a creature of low intelligence (excuse me? my intelligence is clearly above average!) about themselves and what they should be. a very very basic 'bloodline' to the point that the human equilevent would be learning to walk on two legs and talk fluently, but nothing else beyond that. i don't know why it says nothing else, but from what i'm getting from my 'inheritance', iv'e got two choices; up or down. that's it.
that's really all I was getting, and if not for the feeling of calm and that all is ok and right in the world I would get a bit annoyed. it doesn't help that my personality seem to have been already triggered, firing some opinions here and there. so, I'm a planet. my unreliable 'inheritance' doesn't tell me anything more then 'strand of grass', and if I dig deeper i get 'ordinary strand of grass' which show what life has instore for me. should I just ignore that weird building pressure that tells me to sprout away (though still miniscule, and quite easily ignored, it is a constant reminder, always being there) and let myself die again, ridding myself of a life as an ordinary, one of a thousand, strand of grass? not to mention me being a plant.
after thinking of that for a while, while keeping on ignoring the pressure, which slightly grew again, I found that being a plant does not bother me as much as i thought it would. probably that calm, collected, nonchallant feeling has nothing to do with that. still, being a plant barely bothers me, to the point of being ignored. what does bothers me, enough to actually be heard, is me being one of a thousands, a billions. all alike, with nothing different between them at all. though still not as bothersome as it suppose to be, it does bugs me. i would like to avoid that. I wonder, with such an unspecified requirements to follow (up or down) could I tweek it for my likings? could I, for some strange reason, decide to go straight ahead? or atleast what i perceive as straight? luckily for me information of how to actually do the process of growing has been given to me, and feels like it always been there, with the same ease as walking was before.
after idiling of an unknown time again, trying to accept such reality in which I cannot speak or walk or show to have an opinion (though i say im ok with it, it still troubles me) , coming up with plans of how to grow in order to not be ordinary grass, trying to ignoring the nagging feelings of not having limbs and the still numb sense of sadness I still have not overcame after learning I have died (it is not something you just move on from easily, you know!) ,and balantly avoiding the only sensation (aside from the calmness, that one i really like) i have been feeling since my wake, that growing sense of pressure which have finally grown enough to start and annoy me, I finally decide to wield to it and 'sprout'. i had finally went out of my shell and let myself feel around the ground!
more specifically, i laid down a root. yup, i chose down, like a good seed. my plan is to put as much roots as possible in whatever way feels right before finally truly 'sprouting' in hopes it would give me some more grounds for growth. as you can mostly tell, i have no special understanding towards plants. that reckless behavior could probably kill me. but as I am a 'normal' plant, and i have a really nonchallant state of mind at the moment, i find myself not caring. who knows, maybe it would actually do something good? it's not like i know any better, doing something else won't bring me more certainty of succeding then this. I am ignorant of either outcome just as much! life's just great when it hold zero weight on you...
the feeling from having roots is not as sensitive as i thought it would be. I still can't see, or hear, or smell, or move, beyond growing. I do feel a sense of touch, but its so weak to the point it tells me nothing about what I'm feeling. from time to time, one of my roots touch something underground, causing something, a slight change that should probably mean something yet with my limited... self, means nothing whatsoever, though I can feel something In me adjusting, and something more happening as well, i don't know what that something is. all know is that my sense outward keeps growing. aside from that, i cant even tell if its day or night. there was a time at some point i felt a whisper of what could be rain, a day that somehow registered as 'wet' by an unknown means, considering I have yet to 'sprout' truly, only being roots. on that note, i could feel myself weakening slightly. that whisper, informs me that the only reason I am not dead is that the others shares. what does that means and where that whisper register from, considering I have no sense but touch and it is not a voice in a literal sense but more of an information that is somehow known to me, yet the information itself foreign as if being heard from another.
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I had learned what 'adjusts' and 'changes' as time moves by. its the whisper, it gradually more clear, more understandable when close to me, while farther away is being the term of a whisper, giving unintelligible muffled information which I can barely understand. the feeling of 'wetness' being my only measurment in a day all i heard whispered about was that all is 'wet' to a day where only a few been heard to be so, the rest continueing their almost mute barely sentient feeling of just existing.
on a certain day, I had no choice but finally sprouting. I had a very strong feeling that if I were to ignore it I would truly die. I should probably fix my procrastinator attitude that I seem to pick up, as it might truly kill me, but my nonchallant, almost numb, self, doesn't seem to care. is that truly the life of a plant, being uncaring and accepting towards everything? even dieing the next moment? I was very disapointed to find my senses as nonexistant as ever. 'sprouting' seem to cause my 'inheritence' to slightly change, giving me informationg of how to grow taller and a few options of how to grow larger. some inherent knowledge about how to grow leaves, a bit more information about roots and almost bare knowledge about what is in general 'a plant'. though it is probably only because my memories of being a human that cause me to see this knowledge as 'limited'. after all, while all it did is tell me about the existence of flowers, trees, grasses, herbs, and bushes. again, I repeat, i was only been told of their existence. like, they exist. they are plant. you are a plant. what flower is? how many kinds? what does it do? nothing. tree? it tells nothing but a really sturdy growing tall plant. nothing beyond the fact it base 'leaf' is sturdy and offer defense. the information is so nonexistant, so unspecific and oh so very broad to the point I am not sure it is actually about trees, flowers and grasses. after all, when humans think about a flower they first think of what color it is, how it looks, and the like (atleast that how it was for me). yet the 'inheritence' brings the way it helps covert 'energy' (I am still not sure about the exact term, as energy just don't feel right to me for some reason) and dispose of its waste. the 'petals' are a waste material being exerted from the 'body' rather then pretty thing to look at, something that really make it unclear in my human-sense translation that I am unsure if what I am talking about is the same. though for plants, im guessing that knowing the options of their future possible paths is helpfull. though for me, aside from gaining this 'information' of what I 'could be' nothing else had changed. if i tried my hardest I would feel a slight sense of warmth from my new leaf but it was really only when I focused my hardest. I have decided to ignore making a decision on what I would become quite yet (me being a procrastinator) as it truly doesn't affect me at the moment (even though I could technically already begin to 'evolve/form' in that direction) and instead choosing to keep on doing what I was doing before, sprouting more roots and trying to understand the 'whispers' much better. telling myself that this decision is too Important to just simply decide on without thinking carefully, even though I know that most chances are I'll do just that. It was mostly my human self who driven me to choose like this, that side that feels so foreign not knowing or understanding where I am, what I am doing, what is happening around me. with my roots, the whispers, being the only real sense I have, the only way i got to understand, know, what is going on around me, it was no brainer for me to focus on that, neglecting all other aspects. and so, i got to say, i miss my vision. it was so easy opening my eyes and seeing where I am, gathering an abnormal amount of information with one look, enough my brain had learned to naturally block most of it. it was not until I lost my sight and had to rely on that feint whisper of unreliable-barely enough information that I realised how much sight matters to a person.
an unknown time later (still could barely feel warmth, not even enough to tell day or night. let's not even talk seasons, as that seem to be way too much for the current me, if such a long time had indeed passed for me to need to feel that) as the whispers continues, and i worked my hardest to understand more, enough to glimpse to the fact I was probably located in a field of grass (a thing i was already guessing since before I was born) I can tell you without a doubt, I miss seeing... very much so...