"Come on sis, stop with the silent murderous glaring treatment already. How was I supposed to know that gramps would magically dig out some video of you and a dark elf giving some elven guy a blowjob?"

While rolling my eyes, I raised my brother a middle finger with a huff of indignance as he mentioned the scene that should not have been witnessed.

"Shut up about it already, more importantly, if mom and dad hear about it somehow, I'll.. I'll.. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll start with giving the two of you an iron boot to the crotch. Even if it's Chive that blabs it."

"By all that is cheesy and profane.. What kind of monster have you become, Arata? But fine, fine, don't raise your foot threateningly like that, we'll agree to your terms. Your parents won't hear a word about it, from anyone."

As my unreasonable and overly stubborn ancestor acquiesced to my demand, a small feeling of satisfaction rose in the pit of my stomach.

"Still though, you'll probably get an earful if your father sees that mark below your belly. I know he’s walked in on me watching hentai enough times to know what that is, and what it means for it to be there on a girl.

By the way, Arata, if you haven't looked into a mirror yet, you might notice that your appearance has changed a lot. Especially your ears. They've thinned, elongated, widened.. They're kinda pointy, weirdly shaped, and they seem to be migrating up the sides of your head."

Reaching up in response to the comment, I felt them slightly twitch in surprise as I discovered that he was completely right.

"But more importantly, your ass is a lot less flat. And so is your chest. Even though you rejected your humanity for it, you've finally gotten around to developing some femininity. I'm so proud. You should go and show it off."

"Oh fuck off, you old pervert. There’s no way I could ever go out in public like this, especially not with a certain pervert that’s getting handsy."

Grouchily replying to his comment as I felt him give me a pat on my rump, I turned to raise the smugly grinning old man a middle finger.

"A pat on the rear is no big deal. Besides, considering that all you're wearing is a baggy shirt that barely covers your plumpening ass, you don't have much room to be calling anyone a pervert."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed in annoyance, and completely gave up on arguing with the abominable old goblin who was over seven times my age.

"Is that even an actual word? Just stop focusing on my ass already. Even if it is getting bigger, it's none of your business, Taizou. So could you not lay a hand on it? Is acting like a decent human being too much for you?"

"Your rear growing more plump at a speed that surpasses rare cancers is totally my business. Not to mention that it wasn't limited to your behind, your ears, your chest, and whatever else has changed, all happened seemingly overnight."

As his words sunk in, my annoyance somewhat faded, and I crossed my arms beneath my chest with a huff.

"While you have a really good point, I don't see why you need to fixate on my rump. Compared to what happened with my ears, I think my butt getting bigger is a lot less important."

"A rump that's becoming plump is much nicer to look at than creepy ears that twitch, anyone can agree on that. Also, Arata, want some pizza?"

Glaring at Taizou's smug face, as he took a massive bite out of a slice of pizza, I took the pizza box he held out to me and opened it. Helping myself to a big slice of the mushroom pizza as he began to speak, I sat down and listened as I took a bite.

"Plump rumps aside, although Chive's not done with her analysis, it's safe to conclude that the changes in your body are probably irreversible, and trying to stop them from happening would probably kill you."

My jaw nearly dropped as my mood plummeted to rock bottom, then perked back up again as Taizou continued speaking after a moment's pause.

"I do have some good news for you though, Arata. You've probably become immune to just about every virus known to man. And yes, before you say it, that does include the common colds, as well as every known strain of the flu."

"Fuck me, Taizou, why didn't you tell me that from the start? Hell, I'd take that even if it made me flat as a board for life. The whole loss of humanity thing is kinda nerve wracking, but this just makes it worth it."

"While I'm quite flattered by your request, why're you asking me of all people to do that? That’s messed up. Go ask your elf friend instead. I'm sure he'd be happy to oblige, and more importantly, he's not family."

I nearly choked on my pizza as the old goblin responded, turning my head to glare daggers at him and his irritatingly smug and goofy grin.

"By the way, Arata.. Besides spending some family time and checking up on your health, there's another reason I've come out to visit you. I am also here to inform you, that there will be.. Business, for you to attend to."

Raising an eyebrow as he suddenly shifted to a rare, solemn, and uncharacteristically serious tone of voice, I folded my arms beneath my breasts as he slowly continued.

"There's been rumors and reports of animals gone missing. Building being broken into. People witnessing.. Anomalous events on the Canadian Frontier."

Dropping my face into my hands with a groan, I began to feel an urge to start banging my head against the wall until I lost consciousness.

"Again? This is the third time in like what, a year? Fucking noblesse oblige and all that rot. Just kill me now. I don't want to go back out there in a cramped mobile lab convoy with a disgruntled research crew, again.

I swear, if it's the Frontier Patrol captain calling in an expedition because he thought he saw bigfoot, fucking bigfoot, again, I am going to bitch at him until he dies from a lack of sleep."

Feeling a pat on my shoulder, I looked up, only to feel a sense of dread as my endlessly mischievous troublemaker of an ancestor grinned from ear to ear.

"Arata, I’m pretty sure you’d only make the guy very happy. And you’d probably get pregnant. You trying to fuck anyone to death would only turn out poorly for you. You’re a hentai heroine after all. And no, this time, they saw Nessie.

Bigfoot is on vacation. In all seriousness, the most important one, is investigating what happened on a Frontier Cattle Ranch. It's the least ridiculous anomaly report, and there might actually be some truth to this one.. Not that you have to actually do any of the actual investigating. All you really gotta do is call the shots and act all bossy. And preferably not come home pregnant."

"Could you please stop talking about that already, okay? Just kill me now and spare me the trouble. What makes this damn snipe hunt different from all the rest?"

In response to my question, Taizou took a bite of pizza, furrowed his eyebrows, and made an uncharacteristically serious expression.

"Well.. I suppose the thing that makes it so that it should be taken a little seriously, is that the rancher that reported it has gone missing. That, and when the Canadian Frontier Patrol Officers went to investigate his disappearance, they found a hole the size of a minivan in his barn's walls. And what seemed to be a half eaten carcass of a cow."

Pausing mid bite as my ancestor's words sank in, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as I mulled over his statement.

"As you already know from last time's expedition, and also the ones previous to that, they were very eager to insist that folkloric monsters, anomalous entities, illegally engineered mutant megafauna, and carnivorous aliens from outer space are not part of the jurisdiction the UN's Frontier Preservation Council assigned to them.

Therefore, the Frontier Preservation Council gets involved, and of course, since they decided to make us the overseers of the Canadian equivalent of Florida, well.. At least there’s a bright side. Canada Man isn’t as bad as Florida Man."

With a groan of resignation, I accepted the unwanted burden, and sighed in defeat as I crammed my mouth full of pizza.

"I hope it's not carnivorous aliens. Knowing you, you'd go off, get captured by said aliens, and somehow manage to end up coming home with a belly full of their brood. And that'd be a bitch to explain to your parents."

Staring, dumbfounded, my stunned brain partially resumed working as I heard the sound of pizza falling from my hand into the box.

"As if that'd ever happen! What kind of person do you think I am?"

"The kind of girl that gets off from being spanked by an elf she just met, follows him, while naked, to his home. And then accompanies him and his fiance for dinner and a threesome."

Wincing as my ancestor's merciless retort left me feeling more dead than actually getting killed did, I found myself torn between burying my face in shame and going for a second attempt at strangling him.

"Now now, Arata, before you find a hatchet to bury into my face, while you probably won’t encounter or get bred by any aliens, you do have to admit that I do have a point. You have an uncanny knack for getting into the strangest situations."

Sighing as I grumpily pouted, I grudgingly nodded in agreement as the old goblin brought up a valid argument.

"Since we're both in agreement about that, why send me out to deal with some potential horrible monster? If you suspect that it’s going to turn out into something awful, why me?"

"Well, Arata, in reality, it was probably just a wendigo. Barely worse than an angry bear. Things have never been the same out in the countryside since the wendigos and a couple other things escaped from that loon’s lab back in the day. And I don’t need to worry about your safety if I send you. You’re completely, verifiably, scientifically demonstrably, harder to kill than an adamantium cockroach.”

As I heard Taizou's comment, which sounded like an odd mix of praise and something else, a morbid giggle of irony escaped through my mouth. While my ancestor gave me a look of bemusement in response to my giggling, my brother simply rolled his eyes and flatly interjected.

"Gramps, when I asked sis what was wrong after she climbed out of the machine, naked, and made a dash for the kitchen sink.. She said she died horribly."

"Mmhm. It was pretty damn awful. I don't think I'll be able to look at monster girl anything the same way again.. Especially not arachnid girls. God, that was easily one of the creepiest things I have ever seen."

Taizou chortled as he heard me, combing his hair back with his free hand, replying with a huge grin while waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You’re still alive after getting killed, so my point stands. It’s not like you’d ever try to bed a wendigo. And if you did, well, having an ongoing chronic depersonalizing existential crisis would be the least of your mental issues. Besides, Arata, if you got eaten by a pretty spider lady after bedding her, that's your own fault."

Resisting the urge to bash my head against the nearest wall, I gave a long sigh of annoyance, and proceeded to look away while cramming more pizza into my mouth.

"Now, back to the more important topic at hand. I want you to know that even if you did come home with a belly full of alien brood, I'll still support you all the way, because you're my dear little hentai heroine of a great granddaughter."

Turning my head to glare so quickly that I nearly suffered from whiplash, my ears twitched back and forth with annoyance as my ancestor continued speaking with an obnoxious grin.

"And while you're completely free to enjoy yourself and indulge your fetishes with things such as getting swept off your feet and lewdly dominated by an elf, you have to remember that if Chive can extract information from that PSION, others can too. So do try to show some discretion about who and where you bed.

Your new self that you're becoming has quite the pretty face, and a body loaded with voluptuous eye candy and enough distinctive features that you'd stand out in a crowd.. Well, no matter what she looked like, any foxgirl would stand out in a crowd of humans, but you get my point."

"Yes yes, yada yada. Enough harping on about all that stuff already. I get your point. The point I’ve heard about five hundred times in the last year. Sleeping around carelessly could result in horrible stuff, like dad hearing about it.

Now, could you please answer the actually important question, why am I, the person with the least combat experience in the family, being sent out to lead some kind of crazy hunting expedition? Sure, there’s that stupid noblesse oblige law, but why me? I’m legally a psychiatric patient and therefore exempt."

"Three very good reasons. First of all, you can never have too much experience on the Frontier. Illegal biomods, genemods, and all kinds of questionable things are the standard out there after all. So, at the moment, you’d fit right in. Though nobody will dare mess with you as long as you’re in Frontier Guardian uniform, it’s a good opportunity to remind yourself that this world is currently in a state of dystopia.

Your luxurious life is because life is not fair. I won’t say you need to tout noblesse oblige like it’s the natural state of life, or really believe in it, because you don’t need to. But you do have to remember that you are a privileged girl. You were born into the lap of luxury. They were not. Simple as that.

The second reason why you’re the one that’ll have to go, is that your brother will be busy with an equally important task. Lastly an most importantly, going on an expedition will make me miss the world premiere of a long awaited sequel to my favorite henta-"

Interrupting the old goblin by whipping the emptied pizza box at his head with as much force as my arm could muster, I leapt out of my seat to attempt strangling him a second time as my patience ran out.

A minute later, I found myself glaring over my shoulder at the smugly preening old goblin, who had pinned me to the floor with exasperating ease.

"Clearly, you'd been overcome by a raging bloodlust. This is exactly the reason why you need more experience out on the Frontiers, you're way too hot headed. Not to mention, you're literally a hundred years too early to defeat me. I've been doing martial arts for about a hundred and twenty years now."

With bridled fury, I took a deep breath, before letting it out in a long and exasperated sigh.

"Arata, have you been working out before you started undergoing this.. Change? Feels like you're a lot stronger than I remember you to be.. And a lot heavier."

Biting back a snarl of a reply, I tried to calm my unusually irritable self, and gave my ancestor a tepid response.

"..No, I haven't been working out. Why do you ask? Is your memory going bad? Are you finally going senile, you living fossil from the jurassic?"

"My memory is still pristine, miss grumpy pantsless, and I am quite sure that whatever is going on in your body is making you quite irritable. And horny. Can't say I really blame you though, despite my earlier teasing. If you weren’t acting like a grump, I’d be surprised.

Here, a datasheet concerning your hormonal condition that Chive provided. And if you really, really don’t want to go on the expedition, I’ll figure out something else. So don’t worry about it too much."

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Gingerly taking the childishly illustrated sheet from his outstretched hands, while resisting the urge to deck the old goblin, my jaw dropped as I started reading through it.

"You could’ve just told me that instead of messing with me.. Huh? Elevated adrenaline and noradrenaline. Abnormal excess of oxytocin, high levels of reproductive hormones, suggestive of ovulation.. Seventeen unidentified hormones with unknown effects?

Expected symptoms that may be expressed by the patient include aggression, irritability, excitability, abnormal friendliness and trust towards strangers, constant arousal, nausea, vertigo, anxiety.. Bloody hell, and the list goes on."

Glancing down as Taizou tapped on a lower piece of the paper, I read it, and then looked up at him in confusion as I found myself at a complete loss.

"Recommendations for mitigating the symptoms include.. Intense physical exercise, a minimum of five meals a day, and lots of sexual activity? Uhm, what? ..Taizou, I have to ask, is Chive just messing with me?"

"While Chive may be a snarky and sarcastic medical AI named after a vegetable, but as you already know, she does take medical affairs very seriously, though she may add in some wise remarks here and there. Not totally sure why she's recommend those, but she seems to think they'd do you plenty of good."

Failing to wrap my head around the unexpected turn of events, I set the paper down, got up from my seat, and paced into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

"At least my grumpy mood and weird behavior with the elves makes some sense now.. Not that finding out that I'm high on some insane cocktail of adrenaline, sex hormones, and unknown hormones can be called good news.."

Pausing mid-step as my ears caught a strange sound, I glanced around my kitchen in confusion, before both my eyes and mouth opened wide as my gaze came to settle on my kitchen's window.

Ringed by a black ooze with an oily sheen and surrounded by spider webbing cracks, was a gaping hole the size of a melon. Gawking in disbelief, I rubbed my eyes, and then stared blankly at the strange mess.

"Holy biscuits on a flipping tricycle, what the fuck happened to my window? Is this vandalism or what? I swear, if it was some random kids again.."

The next moment, I shrieked in surprise and utter horror as a massive, six legged, black, and featureless spider-thing pulled itself out of my kitchen sink.

Recoiling and desperately reaching for the nearest pan, I screamed again as the thing leaped down from the counter and began skittering towards me.

As my fingers found the pan's handle, I kicked the horrid thing away, only to see it seemingly invert itself mid-air and land on its alien limbs with an unnatural grace.

With my weapon in hand, I slowly backed away towards the kitchen door as the thing seemed more wary of me, skittering around as if it were sizing me up.

"Taizou, Mika, one of you bastards better get over here before I get killed by an actual alien or worse!"

Feeling relief as my panic-fueled shriek triggered a commotion in the other room, I slammed my makeshift weapon down as the thing suddenly charged towards me, seemingly alarmed by my call for aid.

With a sickeningly wet crunch, I recoiled as I heard the thing scream. A haunting, echoing, and unnatural sound that made shivers run up my spine.

Slamming my pan turned weapon down on the monstrosity again, as it started trying to scurry away with an unholy sound that sounded like a fiendish combination of a goat's shriek and a dog's whimper, tension drained from my body as my sibling and great-grandfather tore into the room.

"Bloody hell, Taizou.. You and your damn jinx of a big mouth. After your stupid jokes about me getting captured and impregnated by aliens, an actual fucking alien thing has shown up in my kitchen."

Staring down at the twitching black splatter on my kitchen floor as I growled out my statement, I felt a hand placed on my shoulder, as my great grandfather quietly replied.

"If I knew you'd actually encounter something alien, there's no damn way I'd be joking about it, we all know that. That splattered thing manages to be more hideous than all those lousy porn songs you've written."

Sputtering with indignance as I turned to give him a piece of my mind, I froze, staring with fascinated horror, while my ancestor crouched down and raised the twitching carcass off my kitchen floor and began digging into one of the squished parts.

"Well, Arata, you've made quite the find. It's a shame you weren't able to leave the body more.. Intact. But I dare say, this is looking to be quite the uniquely intriguing specimen.

Though you squished it with a vengeance, there doesn't seem to be anything that even remotely resembles organs, a nervous system, muscles, or even bones. If this thing does have them, they're so alien that I can't tell it apart from the rest of what's splattered on the floor."

"..Does that mean I get naming rights, since I discovered a new species? Also, I'm pretty sure that thing ate it’s way through my damn window or something like that."

Taking a step back as my great grandfather grinned and waved the suspiciously twitchy carcass around, sending a fresh shower of black ooze onto my cabinets, I raised a fist threateningly.

"My bad, we'll clean it up. Didn't realize it was dripping stuff everywhere, but it shouldn't stain anything.. I think. But anyway, it's long past the time you should've replaced that glass with Sapph-Steel.

And yes, I suppose you do have the naming rights to this.. Whatever this thing is. Unless someone else has discovered one of your little horrors and submitted it first. So, my dear, what will you be calling your little alien? A Crabby-Patty?"

Wincing as my ancestor grinned at his terrible attempt at a joke, I lowered my hand with a sigh, taking a deep breath as I gave the drippy and suspiciously twitchy mess in his hands a long and hard look.

"Huh, Taizou, now that I take a good look at it, the skin of this thing kinda reminds me of one of those ancient TV shows you showed me.. Yeah, that settles it. Tenebrae Battlecrabia."

Smiling as my great grandfather nodded, before excitedly stalking off with his hands full of squished and dripping alien battlecrab, I turned to face my brother who was gawking at me for some reason.

"Ugh, sis, you might just want to get a bath. You're looking kind of.. Gooey, for lack of a better word. It's all over you and my shirt. Really hope it doesn't stain, that'd be a waste of a good dress shirt."

Looking down, I grimaced in agreement. All across my legs, and the shirt I was wearing, were blotches of black ooze from the twitchy mush that had been the battlecrab.

"Doubt getting a pan and an alien together for a shotgun wedding was among your list of things to do for today, but pleasant little events like this do happen from time to time. It's the nature of life."

Rolling my eyes at my brother's dry humor, I gingerly stepped around the mess on my floor as I began making a beeline for my bathroom.

"Could you do me a favor and get me a towel and some undies, Mika? I'm not staying covered in alien goo a second longer. And I sure as hell don't want to discover what this gross stuff will do to my skin if I don't get it off."

Stripping off the dirtied shirt as I walked to my bathroom, I glanced at the pile of white towels and other clothing in my laundry basket, before unceremoniously dumping my brother's befouled shirt onto the floor.

'Really, it's been one hell of a rough fucking for a nightmarish morning. Looking back, the way that Battlecrab walked.. That gooey ooze. It reminds me of the Shard and whatever that other monster was called. But that can't.. No, that shouldn't be possible.'

Pausing for a moment as I laid my hand on the doorknob, I took a deep breath as I thought it over, before leaving the bathroom door ajar for my brother as I stepped into the shower stall.

'Hell, is that world really even a game? Can I really dismiss it as just being a game, where Erik, Erin, Raynolia, and Lucious aren't real people? No. I can't, not anymore. Not after that thing broke into my kitchen-'

Shutting the clear glass behind me, I absentmindedly turned the shower knob and nearly shrieked with surprise as the shower interrupted my train of thought with horrendously cold water.

Grimacing as I pressed my back up against the glass wall to try and avoid the icy spray, I turned the shower knob in the opposite direction, and my unsettled nerves began to calm as the frosty water turned soothingly warm.

Turning around as I heard the sound of approaching footsteps, I stepped back into the center and greeted my brother with a smile as he stepped in the door.

"Thanks, Mika, you're the best. Just leave them on the towel rack and that'll be fine. Also, I know this is going to sound kind of weird, but.. Could you maybe join me in here? Or just stay here in the room with me for a bit?"

"Sure, I guess. But missy, I'm sorry to say it, but I gotta remind you that we're not yet back home on the ranch in Alabama, so you'll need to keep those raging hormones of yours in check for now."

Rolling my eyes and shaking my head as my brother chuckled, I caught the infectious mirth and broke out into a giggle as Mika waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I swear, Mika, just because we did grow up on Dad's ranch in Alabama, doesn't mean you need to keep making those jokes at every opportunity you get."

"Yeah yeah, don't be a stick in the mud, sis, making 'Bama jokes is fun and you know it. Anyway, I'll be joining you in a sec, give me a moment to get these off."

Turning away as my brother began unbuckling his pants, I grabbed my shampoo off the shower shelf, and squeezed out an unnecessarily generous amount as I suddenly found myself feeling like I had butterflies in my stomach.

'What the hell, Arata, get a grip. He's your brother, don't make your day any weirder than it's already been..'

Hearing the door open behind me, my knees began to feel weak as the feeling of butterflies in my stomach intensified, leaving me all too aware of how jittery Mika's presence was making me feel.

"Arata?"

Feeling my heart and abdomen go aflutter as my brother wrapped his arms around me in a big, firm, and tenderly intimate embrace, my head seemed to go into the clouds as my heart seemed to race in my chest.

As my knees began to give out from under me, the realization of wrongness hit me as my heart lurched, followed by my vision rapidly going dark.

"Hark, ye great men of valor! Bow thy heads and prostrate thy selves in awe. Awaken, dark lady of the nine tails, she with a most callipygian derriere!"

Groggily opening my eyes, I blearily blinked as I turned my head to look at the incorrigibly annoying source of the disturbance that had woken me up.

"..The hell are you going on about, Taizou? Fuck, my head hurts.. Bleh, this is by far the worst hangover I've had in ages, and I don't even remember drinking..

Actually, where even am I? Why am I naked, and why are you holding my ass up in the air while praising it like it's the final objective of some kind of holy pilgrimage? I'm pretty sure this, like your other shenanigans, counts as sexual harassment."

"Well, Arata, you're in a hospital. On a special examination table. And since you asked in an unexpectedly polite manner instead of shrieking and throwing something at me while screaming something about a pervert or some other overly cliche line.."

Taizou briefly trailed off as he gently set my lower half down on the table, then immediately followed up with an unexpected slap to my rump while resuming speaking.

"You fainted in the shower, nearly gave both me and Mika a heart attack, and have been unconscious for about three days. But more importantly, you've been developing an ass worthy of being designated as a national treasure by the United Nations. So keep it up, make this old man proud."

Rolling my eyes as I turned over onto my back and sat up, I folded my arms beneath my breasts and retorted while giving my troublemaker of an ancestor a deadpan glare.

"..You at least brought undies, a pair of shorts, or just anything for me to put on, right? Taizou?"

"What, don't blame me for that, I didn't make you outgrow your clothes. Besides, me, you, Mika, the entire city, are all currently under quarantine until it's proven that your condition is non-infectious."

Making my displeasure known with a long growl of annoyance, I dropped backwards onto the padded table, crossing my legs and folding my arms across my chest as Taizou continued speaking.

"Anyway, Arata, for the sake of science, and of course, getting you some new pairs of panties, let me thoroughly measure and document that deliciously plump ass."

"..You're not even trying to hide your impure intentions anymore, damn lecherous old goblin. And you haven't explained why I'm naked. At least give me a towel or something to cover up with."

Rolling my eyes as I sat back up and replied, I tilted my head and began tapping my fingers impatiently on the table. Looking up at my great grandfather with a pouty, pleading, and expectant expression, I almost giggled as he lowered his head into his hands and sighed.

"I swear, Arata, teaching you how to act so adorably was easily the biggest mistake of my life. ..Would you believe me if I said that the government demanded that they wanted you naked and tied down to the table so a bunch of mooks could examine your body?"

Unable to maintain my pouty expression any longer, I couldn't stop myself from bursting out into a fit giggles, which died away as the realization that he was being serious dawned on me.

"You're.. Not joking? Bloody hell, Taizou, while I unironically know the government is by default made up of a bunch of loons in a clown car with no brakes, have they all gone mad?"

Reaching out to gently cup my chin in his hand, he met my gaze with a stony silence, leaving me feeling slightly uncomfortable as he stared long and hard into my eyes until he finally spoke.

"Actually.. It's not just the government. It all started while you were unconscious, with a british tabloid known as The Daily Sun. They published an.. Article, claiming that sources in the WHO anonymously shared the cause behind the Mutagen Outbreak.

Oh right, I forgot to mention that that's the official name for what you've been dragged into. The Mutagen Outbreak. Anyway, as I was saying, they claimed that it was a new disease spread by a synthetic life form created by bioterrorists."

"The Battlecrab?"

Leaning slightly forward into his hand as he began scratching the underside of my chin, I closed my eyes, savoring the oddly pleasurable sensation as I listened to him speak.

"Mmhm, that's my girl. While I'm not quite sure how they heard about it, or where else the Battlecrabs may have cropped up, but regardless, once they published that allegation, among other equally alarming and baseless claims..

Well, everything rapidly spiraled out of control and caused a mass international panic because fact checking stopped being popular around sixty years ago, when we had several back to back pandemics.

Of course, quarantines sprung up faster than weeds because of the claims the tabloid made, and so here we are. I still have no idea why the government wants you bound and naked, but it's really not that important.."

Raising an eyebrow as I opened one eye to give Taizou an inquisitive look, I gestured for him to continue both speaking and scratching my chin.

"We both know that being forced to get naked by government officials for a nonsensical reason is a rather regular day in the life of a hentai heroine. And since I'll be here to prevent them from violating anything other than your privacy, it's really not that big of a deal."

Pouting, I placed my hands on my hips and attempted to muster up a defiant and angry expression, and utterly failed as I broke out into an irresistible giggle.

"Oh no, the government is going to violate my privacy! Woe is me! It's totally not like I'm sitting right next to a person who's violated my privacy more thoroughly than the government ever could."

"Bah, humbug. As your legal guardian, caretaker, psychiatrist, neurologist, geneticist, physical therapist, and primary care physician, I am legally obligated under the Responsible Universal American Healthcare Act to spy on everything you do and intimately know every nook and cranny of your body.

Anyway, Arata, be a good girl and lie down on your stomach. I still need to tie you up so government agents can fondle, poke, and prod at your naked body."

Rolling my eyes as my ancestor patted my head, I reached up to flick my hair back over my shoulder, and proceeded to fold my arms across my breasts.

"Uh, how about, no? Like seriously, no. I can probably put up with whatever bullshit reason the government wants me naked. But no, I politely decline being tied up while some loon messes with my naked body. If they don't like that, they can pack up their test kits and fuck off with their bullshit back to washington or wherever the hell they came from."

In response to my statement, Taizou grinned like a cheshire cat that had been caught with its paws in my cookie jar.

"Chive, please relay Arata's statement to Arata's examination crew. And this, this is why you're my favorite girl, Arata. You're adorable, crazy, hypocritical, more unstable than an explosive from the ACME corporation's bargain bin, brave in the oddest of ways, and a total pervert. In other words, perfect."

Cringing as my ancestor showered me with the least flattering compliment I had ever heard, I scooted my rear back away while giving him a look.

"What's that look for? I'm being honest. I won't go into it too deeply since I don't really want to be judgemental concerning your sexual preferences. But really, you've got the self-preservation instincts of a drunken lemming-dodo hybrid on cocaine."

Poutily glaring as I conceded the point that I couldn't deny, I blinked as I suddenly heard a familiar voice begin moaning very suggestively from my great-grandfather's pocket.

"Hold on a sec before you start making your witty comments, Arata. I've got an important call from your mother."

"..Taizou, why do you have that, out of all the things you could've used, as a ringtone? And why the fuck is that being used as a ringtone for when mom calls?"

Waving his hand dismissively as he took several steps away, I scowled at my retreating ancestor and folded my arms across my breasts again as he pulled out his phone.

"Because you making happy sounds is quite adorable, and because something this publicly awkward is perfect for alerting me to incoming important calls. Anyway, hold on for a minute, let me talk with your mom first.

Hello hello? It'sa me, Mario.. Ow, my ear, give me a break, Talia, there's no need to shout. I'm not making light of the situation, your daughter's doing quite fine."

The next moment, I raised an eyebrow as I witnessed Taizou make an expression of bafflement that I couldn't remember ever having seen on his face before.

"Uhh, no, she hasn't been attacked and impregnated by any kind of random tentacle monster. Where'd you even hear that? Have you been reading The Daily Sun or something? You know you can't trust a British tabloid any farther than I can throw Buckingham Palace.

Sure, we all can agree she stuck her rear where it probably doesn't belong and is now turning into some kind of sexy foxgirl mutant. She's even living up to her title as a hentai heroine, got herself a crotch tattoo and everything. But hey, dark and silky tan skin, gorgeous golden eyes, she's much cuter this way.. You’d like to see a picture of her new look? Alright, gimme one sec. Hey, Arata, smile for the camera.”

Brushing back my hair with one hand, I tilted my head and gave my best smile. Raising my other hand up, presenting two fingers in the classic symbol for peace, I tried not to blink as he began counting down.

“Three.. Two.. And done. By the way, if you’re bringing more souvenirs back from Mars with you, please don’t give Arata any more of that Magic Martian Mystery Mushroom Beer. It’s a bad influence on your dysfunctional daughter with the self control of a lemming on cocaine. I haven’t forgotten the time she got so blitzed out of her mind by it that nobody could tell if she was trying to swallow a cactus whole or give it a blowjob.”

Staring at my great grandfather in absolute bafflement, he met my gaze and simply shrugged in response to my flabbergasted confusion, before breathing out an unnecessarily long and needlessly dramatic sigh.

“And no,Talia, I don’t think transferring you a little of your daughter’s blood will turn you into a foxgirl to match her. If that did work, however, that’d be a can of worms nobody even remotely sane would want to open. You’re free to try if she consents, but if it does work, holy hell will this be a bitch of a mess.

Logic and reason says no, it’s monumentally stupid, needlessly dangerous, borderline unscientific, and a total waste of time that’ll only put your health at risk. But more importantly, my refined sensibilities as a wise old gentleman who’s lived for over a century are telling me hell yes to a mother and daughter pair of sexy foxgirls. If Chiyo’s alright with it, let’s do it.”

Frantically waving my hands to try and get my ancestor’s attention as my mind partially resumed functioning, breathing deeply as I tried not to begin hyperventilating, and calmly spoke, without panicking.

“Hold on just a sec, Taizou, wait just a minute there. Did I just hear what I think what I thought I heard you say what you just said about me doing what?”

“I don’t know what you think you thought you heard me say about what I just said about you doing what, but if you’re asking about the time you got drunk off your mom’s Magic Martian Mystery Mushroom Beer.. Well, yes, that happened, and that’s one of the reasons why we don’t serve exotic drinks at family dinners anymore.”

Curling up as I felt myself nearly die inside, I buried my face into my hands, feeling my face twitch as I tried not to cry from the embarrassment. Unhesitatingly, my great grandfather continued speaking.

“Well yeah, Talia, there was also that, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as that time with the tentacles at the summer estate though. I don’t really want to remember that one, but that night was, unfortunately, completely unforgettable. It’s how she earned her title as a hentai heroine after all.

Oh. Speak of the tentacles and the doctors shall appear. I’ll call you back, Talia. Love ya. Anyway, Arata, stop crying, moping around, and get yourself ready to be violated.. Err, I mean examined, by the government. If we’re lucky, we might even get released from quarantine soon.”