Excerpt from the student’s book of the school of Taxation, expropriation and confiscation of Magnfica Landa, written by Isidor the Swift, page 237

Chapter X: Regarding the spirit of the law

The section that came before this one did, was written with the intent to share with you all the numerous laws concerning taxation, how they affect us, and how we should behave ourselves regarding them. You learned the importance of book keeping, how the imperial offices have to use the money to the betterment of the cities, how many different names the money has, and why our system is the best one, without fail. This chapter will, instead, go more in depth concerning the laws themselves, what they are in essence, and why you should always adhere more to their spirit than to their letter.

Remember this: a law is always written in blood, and every single law concerning the handling of money is twice so. There is no moral code that did not pass a trial of fire before being codified in the fundamental laws governing the country, that would be a chaotic landscape without their restraining effect. And there’s a law you have to keep in your heart at all times: all the money of the empire belongs to the sacred Emperor Primus Supremus, and he is willingly loaning it with all the subjects of his glorious Empire. Every lyre ever minted, be it in copper, silver or gold, belongs to him. Every economic interaction mediated by the use of coinage, is under his purview and is one of the most sacred contracts anyone could imagine. He is literally giving away his lifeblood so that every single citizen of his empire, his beloved subjects, can live to their fullest, and what better way to give back some of that love than by giving the lifeblood back? The money given as taxation should be used by the officials to better the state of the empire, (and woe to those who scamper and line their pockets with gold, for they’ll be melted in it), because the empire state is the emperor’s face, and how could we dare to show a face full of cracks, when our leader is the epitome of perfection, delivered to us by the Numens? So, even if the law states, in its words, “he who does steal will have it stolen back and lose a finger”, stealing refers only to the act of obtaining something that wasn’t yours by right of blood or by right of contract. Sacking the manor of a noble of every single thing, from the cutlery to the tables, stuck to the wall or not, to set an example on a tax evading noble, isn’t stealing: it’s recouping the lifeblood of our lord, and a small part will be given to us in his benevolence. But! Remember not to do this job for, sure, the riches you may accrue, since nobles never seem to learn their lessons, but for a sense of duty towards your birthplace and, by reflection, towards our great Emperor. And even if the law states “do not harm your neighbor, for he too will be free to harm you as he sees fit”, remember than when exercising your functions, you’ll be free to rain the wrath of Hagghiel on the head of those who try to cheat you, because they are cheating the emperor, and that’s not really battery, is it? It’s scolding a misguided child with a foot and a half long pole repeatedly on the back and the knees. And if the laws says, you won’t willingly separate a family, for as the Numens are our spouses eternal, so our relatives are our mortal companions until the renewal, you should sell the fuckers to indentured servitude if they thought it was better to cheat taxes than to parley for a deferred payment that would have made everyone very, very happy.

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You should also do well to remember that the taxation laws do have an actual spirit, in the form of a golden badger, called Ulior, bound in service to the Emperor and whose power you will be able to call while exercising your function, in proportion to the amount owed by the person you are auditing in that moment. It will manifest itself, or better, a part of itself as a mundane object of your choice, and only in that form, when you will write your signature on the contract that will bind you to the Tax office. As I’m writing this book, I’m certain you will choose well amongst the suggested ones and won’t end up like Nudwig the drunk, who had a barrel of wine as his.

But he will answer only if you stay true to the core concept of the Taxmen!

So, future taxman, brand these foundational commandments into your heart, so that you may better apply the laws:

all the that exists money is for the emperor, of the emperor, and will always go back to the emperor;

you shall suffer no tax evader, not even the small child selling grape juice on the road, and shall deliver justice as soon as you can and in any way you deem fit;

you will hound tax fraudster to the end of the earth and make them choke on their fake documents;

time is money, and money is the emperor’s lifeblood. Making a taxman lose time is treason.

Take this word, and bring them to the world, and may the Emperor live forevermore!