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Chapter 46: Mentally Fit

May 13th, 2263. 08:00 Admiral Nelson’s Office

Admiral Nelson sat behind his desk and was listening to the psychologist intently. This was not a meeting he had wanted. But it was one he had presumed to occur should a certain Lieutenant’s post-op psych review appear to be less than stellar. However, in this case, the psychologist had decided to take it several steps further and unilaterally decided that John wasn’t fit for service.

“Admiral, he pushed a literal shuttle off a landing pad. His aggression is through the charts, which is saying something given that the number of Marines he’s directly serving or interacting with.”

“His last review was satisfactory. I understand that outburst was a bit over the top.”

Commander Elly Benjamin looked horrified at how the Admiral was downplaying the actions, “That isn’t a minor outburst, sir. What if he murdered someone in cold blood?”

Admiral Nelson shrugged, “He didn’t. And frankly speaking, had he done that act of extra-judicial justice then he’d be doing our current prisoners a favor.”

“Excuse me, sir? With respect, I cannot believe how anyone would be excusing murder.”

“Doctor, these scientists are facing life in prison, likely in solitary for the remainder of their natural lives. Killing them is a mercy actually. Brutal as that may sound,” Admiral Nelson said bluntly, “There won’t even be a public trial. Eugenics programs aren’t things we talk about publicly, or privately.”

“It sounds illegal, sir,” Commander Benjamin said, “And I cannot stand for Lieutenant Lief serving alongside the good men and women of the Navy. Pursuant to Article 12.B in the Officer’s Code of Conduct Lieutenant Lief will be subject to a full psychological scan and psychopathy review. Until both of these are completed, Lieutenant Lief is temporarily relieved of active duty.”

Admiral Nelson sighed as he bit down the anger growing within him, “Very well, St. Mary’s staff will conduct the review. You needn’t worry, his wife and the chief psychiatrist at the station will not be involved in the review. I believe Captain Wilhelm Huber can manage this review. His reputation is beyond reproach.”

“Sir, that is not acceptable. My team is…:’

Admiral Nelson interrupted Elly, and both looked and spoke very sternly, “That article, as you were so keen to bring up, allows medical staff to request these reviews. It does not, however, give you carte blanche authority to determine who performs the review. An impartial source, of which you are not, is required to do the review. The incidental relationship with his wife is not something I am concerned with as the professionalism of the staff here is beyond reproach.”

“I am going to make an official notation in his medical record, sir.”

“That record will be reviewed by me before it is allowed to be entered into his permanent record. If you attempt to add anything extra that isn’t legally allowable, then you and I will have a chat about what is and isn’t allowable within our roles.”

“You’ll have my notation within an hour, sir.”

Elly walked out of his office without showing the Admiral that she was most displeased with his answer. Admiral Nelson sank back in his seat and rubbed his temples. General Mizrahi looked on from the screen on the Admiral’s terminal.

“I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Nor was I, Uri. This could blow up in our faces. We both know that John has a temper, a flare for ignoring or bending orders, and a damned lethal murderous streak. The latter we know firsthand, we were able to lock down the last mission due to its secretive nature. This one though, we can’t hide things behind a wall of secrecy.”

General Mizrahi nodded, “I agree, though I suspect a note in his record that says, ‘During an angry outburst he pushed a shuttle off a landing pad,’ is going to raise more questions than answers. Might even spur more respect from the Marines.”

“Thank you for reminding me. I need to add that to his file. I hate to do this while he’s on leave, but I’m going to have this started this afternoon.”

“Bill, have faith in the young man. I suspect that Dr. Huber will green-light his continued work.”

“I don’t doubt that Uri, my fear is that there is an appearance of impropriety that the higher-ups were pulling the strings then we may hurt him more than help him.”

“Were we to sit down and not advocate for him then Commander Benjamin would railroad him out of the military. John should have spoken to her in a more even temperament. Besides Dr. Huber’s reputation means he’d sooner take a bullet than allow anyone to influence his judgment.”

13:00 Captain Huber’s Office

The Captain’s office was surprisingly sparse. His degrees were in a gilded frame hung on the wall directly above his left and right shoulders. The desk was clear except for some work items, his coffee mug, and three pictures of his family, wife, and both children. The wall to the right was mostly obscured by file cabinets but sitting on top of that was a Manchestierian Stag horn.

“What do you see in this picture?”

“An ink blot,” John answered specifically.

“Yes, but do you see any shapes of images within?”

“I see some shapes sure, but nothing that would constitute an image.”

“Then you don’t see faces or a bird in that one?”

“There are two lines that would look like the silhouette of a bird, but the portion beneath it looks nothing like a bird. The same applies to the image of lips and chin here and here.”

Captain Huber set the image down and flashed another one to John, “And what do you see here?”

John sighed and looked at it closely, “I see no specific shapes, these two lines here look like part of a bear’s paw, but the portions behind it look nothing like what a leg is supposed to look like.”

“You aren’t giving me much to work with Lieutenant.”

“I could say the same to you, Captain. I don’t see anything in these images. I know exactly what a bear’s leg looks like. Or at least what one ought to look like. This isn’t it. I know what a sparrow looks like,” John pointed at the other image laying on his desk, ”That isn’t it either.”

Captain Huber nodded and pushed the images aside, “How many people have you killed?”

“I presume you are talking about the ones I did that personally and not detached in command of a ship.”

“Good point, but yes that was the implication.”

“Hundreds but under a thousand.”

“Lieutenant, there are no judgments here. You must be honest with me.”

“Eight hundred thirty-seven, though I am unsure of the fates of another fifty-two people,” John answered without a hint of emotion.

“Why are you unsure?”

“They weren’t expired when I was forced to leave, and we didn’t have detailed records indicating whether or not they had.”

“Under your best guess, how many of those fifty-two do you believe perished?”

“Twenty to thirty on the low end is a safe estimate. No more than thirty-five though, but some wounds, if not treated properly, could lead to an early death.”

“How many of those kills did you enjoy? Relish? Get aroused by?”

“Six, five, and none.”

“Why did you enjoy the six?”

“One was a pyrokinetic psychopath that needed to die. Four were pedophiles. One was a crime boss that started shit with me for no damned reason, I enjoyed that kill because of the irony. He had evidence that ultimately exonerated me, which I was highly appreciative of acquiring, but then he tried to blackmail a year later.”

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“Did you mutilate any bodies?”

“Yes, I did cut some hands and heads off to leave a message for the locals.”

“How about torturing anyone?”

“Yes. Again, it was done to either get intel out of someone or to leave a message for those nearest him.”

“Torture often doesn’t result in getting accurate information. It’s one amongst many reasons why it isn’t allowed or even admissible in courts.”

“There are ways to torture someone and get accurate information. As my mind is a bit faster than the average person’s, I’m usually able to verify what the person is saying. They learn, with me anyways, that lying has painful consequences.”

“When was the last time you killed someone in violation of standing orders?”

John paused and thought.

And thought some more.

His eyes lit up and then answered, “I’m not at liberty to discuss the specifics. But I dispensed extra-judicial justice on individuals during a raid. I justified my actions because it would prevent a scandal that other powers could use against us. And to free the individuals from rotting in jail for the remainder of their lives.”

“You were not a judge of them though.”

“I acted in that role, but you are correct. I believe it granted them a mercy, from a certain perspective.”

“Do you think about murdering people?”

“Not until someone acts in a hostile manner against me, my friends, or my family. Only then is there a sort of mental calculus that takes place that directs me how far to take it.”

“Has that calculus ever failed you?”

“It’s not perfect, often times I calculate things don’t need to get too violent or deathly levels but then they do.”

“So, you underestimate the amount of force to apply in situations?”

“Occasionally. Like twenty percent or so.”

“Have you regretted killing anyone?”

John nodded immediately, “There was a thief in Annapolis that died because he tripped and fell into the street. Admittedly, I did want to hurt him but killing him was not what I wanted to do.”

“Do you have nightmares?” the Doctor asked.

John shook his head, “I don’t have dreams often. When I do, I wouldn’t call them nightmares. Lucid for sure. Occasionally they aren’t good, but I can count on one hand how many times I’ve woken up worried about the dream I had.”

“Tell me about your lucid dreams please.”

“I have conversations with Death,” John said plainly, “Or an entity that says it is death. It’s interesting because the conversation feels so very real, and the entity seemingly knows everything I’ve done.”

“When was the last time you had a dream like that?”

“When I was on the CNS Des Moines during our return to friendly space. I believe we were in slip space when it happened.”

The doctor nodded his head, “You said in the hearings that you had considered more extreme methods to take control of the ship, why didn’t you?”

“Well if I had then you and I wouldn’t be having this conversation,” John grinned, “I’d either be in a military prison or kicked out of the Navy.”

“Do you think that would’ve been the right thing to do?”

John looked deep in thought for a moment before answering, “The loss of life and ships was definitely regrettable. However, the conflict was going to escalate in a horrible way.”

“Then you believe, in your heart of hearts, that despite the foolish nature of the attack it served a greater good by exposing our enemy’s ulterior motives.”

“I do.”

“And in hindsight, you’d support it more?”

“I wouldn’t support it more, but if I knew when and where the counterattack was occurring, we could have planned accordingly for that and made them bleed more.”

Doctor Huber looked at John, “How did you feel when Naval Intelligence cast you out?”

“Confused. I didn’t think they would after my injury. Hell, even after my injury I was still more than capable of solving a case. I suspect because I was no longer able to surreptitiously acquire intel that I was no longer a viable asset.”

“And how did you feel when they tried to kill you?”

“Enraged. I wanted to kill every last agent onboard the station,” John shrugged, “Obviously that wasn’t a practical solution, and those feelings were set aside as I had more pressing matters.”

“Sending the data to the fleet and securing your safety?”

John nodded, “Yes, sir. Personal feelings and acting out would not have accomplished the mission successfully. Nor could I risk NI personnel eliminating what remained of my crew if I started to go on a rampage.”

“Yet you still killed an agent of theirs.”

John nodded again, “After he tried to kill me. I wouldn’t count that as a murder but as an act of self-defense.”

“Do you believe this is necessary?”

“One of your peers believes it is,” John shrugged.

“That wasn’t my question though. Do you believe all of this is necessary?”

“Does the Navy have a need for doctors like you? Absolutely. Do the Navy and Marines need to screen their members? Absolutely. Am I mentally fit for service? Yes. I’m not going to fly off the handle and attack my peers or commanders. I won’t be indiscriminately killing anyone. It’s not my style for starters and violates my own personal code.”

“You didn’t say that you wouldn’t kill again.”

“I’m a Naval officer attached to a special unit that is actively searching for specific individuals. My orders may have me do just that.”

“What about the shuttle on the last planet you were on?” Captain Huber looked up and directly at John.

John sighed, “Yeah, I lost my cool on that. Unexpected things, that were an affront to both me and nature, were present in that shuttle. I eliminated those things but got a little ragey.”

The two men continued to talk for another hour. Questions were asked and direct answers were returned. Captain Huber wrote a wealth of notes. He was taken aback by the blunt honesty and deep introspection that the Lieutenant sitting across from him had.

Eventually, Captain Huber got to the end of his questions, “Do you have any statements you’d like to make?”

“No, I trust that you’ll clear me for active duty.”

The doctor grinned at the chutzpah the Lieutenant was showing, “Thank you, Lieutenant Lief. You’ll be receiving communication by the time your leave is completed.”

May 15th, 2263. 12:00 Admiral Nelson’s Office

Admiral Nelson had a plate of food beneath him on his table. His hot ham and cheese sandwich was cooling down rapidly. The company in his room was also annoying him, though he hid his emotions on that well.

“Commander, I’m going to eat because my afternoon is swamped. You’ve read Captain Huber’s review. John is cleared for duty.”

“I don’t believe his interview was sufficiently detailed to come to this conclusion,” Elly insisted as she pointed at her data slate.

The sound of potato chips crunching interrupted Elly’s speech.

Admiral Nelson raised a finger and then spoke, “Apologies, they met for nearly three hours. That’s three times as long as a typical interview for an annual fit rep.”

“Admiral, Lieutenant Lief is the most dangerous individual I have ever come across in my career. His being on active duty boggles my mind.”

“Commander, he is cleared for duty. Your request for a review was accepted and completed. That it resulted in a conclusion that you didn’t agree with is not a legitimate reason for complaining about it.”

“With respect, sir, I am not complaining about this. Nothing I’ve said is inaccurate.”

“Be that as it may, he’s already been cleared for active duty.”

“Admiral…”

Elly was interrupted by a noticeably grumpy admiral, “The decision has been made. Another one, involving you, has also been made. You are no longer going to be assigned to any support vessel he is on. You will work with the fifth and sixth platoons.”

“Admiral, this is retaliation!”

“Some would successfully argue that you are guilty of that too. Commander, the decision has been made. Your choices, from my perspective, are to accept them, put in for a transfer, or resign your commission. All three of which I will accept. Now, which of them are you choosing?”

She stood there in disbelief. Medical professionals’ opinions are supposed to not only be heard but considered. Yet in this case, it felt to her that there was willful ignorance or even worse, general acceptance of the brutal behavior exhibited by the Lieutenant.

Elly eventually composed herself and spoke, “I will accept my reassignment to the new platoons.”

Admiral Nelson nodded, “Very well, you are excused, commander.”

The commander saluted and quickly turned to leave the room. He took a bite of his sandwich. After swallowing but before she left the room he spoke up.

“Commander, your concerns have been noted. However, the judgments you’ve made are lacking critical data. You may think him a murderous monster, but what you fail to understand is our enemies have individuals that are worse than him. Sometimes the best way to attack an evil is another evil.”

Elly paused and looked back at the Admiral, “The ends do not justify the means, sir.”

Admiral Nelson didn’t respond but spoke up to no one in particular when she left his office, “That is where you are wrong. Idealism alone will not lead us to our destiny.”

He continued eating his now lukewarm, and rather disappointing lunch. On his terminal, a message from Dr. Huber was displayed. It gave some additional reasons, off the record, for his clearing Lieutenant Lief.

“I apologize for sending a secondary letter. My additional justifications for clearing Lieutenant Lief aren’t necessarily rooted in scientific or medicinal doctrine.

The question behind nature and nurture is one that is troubling for this young man. His IQ cannot be accurately calculated. If that weren’t scary enough, he has perfect recall. He recalled in excruciating detail what he felt during his first kill. There was also deep regret over some of his actions.

John has come to the conclusion that evil actions against his fellow man are necessary for the greater good. He’s accepted his lot in life and does not make a habit out of relishing any of the kills he’s made. One of them he was almost gleeful discussing but then remorseful for the physical effects that happened to him after the operation was over.

The brutality of some of his actions would warrant immediate sanction for most people but said sanctions never occurred. Naval Intelligence failed not only John but the Confederacy as a whole. They never should have trained him to be a cold-blooded killer as young as he was.

That is why the case of nature versus nurture comes into play here. Our military complex helped shape a teenager into one of the most dangerous weapons of war ever created by mankind. His emotions run hot beneath the surface despite the cool and stony-faced look he expresses.

We made him what he is. He’s been shaped, molded, and remolded to suit our needs. He’s his own man for sure, but he’s been damaged irrevocably by the things we’ve asked him to do over the years. He’s both compartmentalized and triaged the damage to wondrous extents.

I would expect incidents like the shuttle to occur again in the future. I wouldn’t put it past the young men to snap and kill an enemy in a flash of anger. Or if his logic demanded it for that matter. Despite Commander Benjamin’s concerns, fratricide is not something I’d expect him to do.

At the end of the day, my professional and personal view of Lieutenant Lief is one of an intensely intelligent yet ultimately broken individual. Broken by Naval Intelligence but remolded into something useful but then not provided the correct guidance. Tossed aside and currently remaking himself into someone he believes will be of use to the Confederacy.

I want to believe that he is walking the right path. With all that being said, I strongly suggest the Lieutenant be ordered to have monthly checkups with the mental health professionals onboard the ship or station.

Commander Huber”