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Chapter 33: Homecoming

September 25th, 2262. 12:00 Military Docking Ring, St. Mary’s Station

The CNS Magnificent had completed docking with St. Mary’s station. Four enormous clamps gripped and held on to the massive carrier. Several wires and umbilicals were connected to various ports alongside the aft side of the ship. Two large hard docks were maneuvered in place and were in the final steps of creating an atmospheric seal between the ship and the station.

John and Alice were among the first group of people waiting in the hangar bay to depart from the ship. Much to John’s chagrin he was hoisting not one but two bags over his shoulders. Alice was grinning as she didn’t have to carry her heavy green bag.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“Find out how many of my cigars your older brother smoked of mine,” John said sarcastically, “Then I’m going to take a shower.”

“Is it just me or is it hard to believe we’re finally back here?”

John laughed, “I hear ya. I thought coming back to Earth would be more fun. But man, D.C. can choke on a fat one. I never want to go back to that shithole ever again.”

“Can’t say that I enjoyed it there. Thanks to you there was an attempt on my life.”

John stopped, “Woah there, little lady. Their target was Captain Walker. We were incidental contacts in that rodeo.”

Alice rolled her eyes and continued to walk, “We were there because of you.”

John followed after her, “Again, technically we were there because my former CO nearly got me killed.”

“You love being technically right, don’t you?” Alice laughed.

“There’s no better kind to be my dear.”

Alice grinned as the pair continued their banter with one another. Despite being amongst the first ones off the ship, the line through the military checkpoint was long. Going through customs was always annoying.

John never knew why the military servicemembers had to go through customs when they arrived on a Naval vessel. History, of course, would tell us the worlds and stations were right to do so. Those very same servicemembers had a habit of bringing onboard illicit or illegal goods.

In the couple's case though, they literally had nothing to declare. The only thing they’d find in their bags were clothes, a couple of data slates, and some spare credit chits. Getting through customs should be quick, but not today. Here they waited for nearly sixty minutes because the security people couldn’t be bothered to open another line.

“Next,” the customs officer waived Alice and John forward, “Do you have anything to declare?”

“No,” Alice answered.

“Not a thing,” John sighed after he answered.

“Why do you have two bags?”

John looked at the officer with a dumb look, “I’m carrying hers.”

“Why are you doing that?”

John shook his head in utter disbelief and confusion, “I’m married… to her?”

“Ok fine,” the officer said in a manner that John presumed the answer went in one ear and out the other, “Please put the bags on the conveyer.”

John put down the first bag on the conveyer. A door to the scanner opened up and in the first bag went. He set the second bag down and faced the officer again. The officer was squinting at his screen as he looked at the bag. Then the second bag went into the scanner and the process repeated itself.

“How long will you be visiting?”

Alice sighed very loudly, “What do you mean?”

“Just what I asked.”

“You might want to get some new glasses,” John said sarcastically, “If you look at your screen more carefully you will find we are not only assigned to this base but also have a permanent residence here.”

“Are you telling me how to do my job?”

“Yeah, since it’s pretty clear you’re not exactly fast on the uptake.”

The customs officer stared at John.

“Your stare isn’t at all scary. You have no power here. Stamp our passports and let us go on our way,” John said as he shook his head.

In a final act of pettiness, the customs officer slowed things down as much as he could. John was right, there wasn’t anything that customs could do to the couple. Both bags were clear, and they had no declarations. It wasn’t difficult to process them through.

After a couple of minutes of dilly-dallying, the officer eventually cleared them and waived them through. Both men swore at one another for the petty display. Alice burned the agent with some southern sass. John had hoped that was the last of the bullshit he’d have to deal with today.

Naturally, anytime John ever had a thought like that it came back to bite him in the ass. Though when it did was a bit unpredictable. They walked out of the customs area of the docking ring and hung a left. The hallway they were in would lead them to the inner habitation rings and the central core.

As they got closer and closer to the free section the number of people increased. There was a buzz about the place that neither John nor Alice had seen before. They couldn’t have for they’ve never been on the station when certain notable individuals were there.

Neither of the pair saw the paparazzi when they crossed into the free zone. John quickly noticed the camera flashes and groaned internally at the throng of people in their vicinity. He now knew who was present and why there were so bloody many people here.

The crowd of people parted when the pair got to a certain point. Standing ten feet in front of Alice was Princess Valerie Elizabeth Windsor. She was wearing a bright red form-fitting dress. To most men, it was a dress to lust over. It left nothing to the imagination. All her curves, private or otherwise, were on display for all to see.

“Jonathon my love. It is so good to see my beloved once more,” Valerie walked toward John sultrily, “I do believe it is long past time to talk about our nuptials.”

John dropped both of the bags and groaned very loudly. He then pinched the bridge of his nose. His eyes were also closed at the moment which didn’t let John see or stop Alice’s first movement.

Valerie was two steps in front of Alice. Her closing the gap between the two was a huge mistake. Alice took one step forward and threw a righteous haymaker right at the princess. The punch caught everyone off-guard and was caught live in about a hundred different angels.

Valerie stumbled backward and fell on her fabulous ass as her nose bled profusely. Alice had broken a royal nose. And she had a look about her where she was just getting started. John then had to step in, both to deescalate the scenario and to ensure the two guards that were trying to touch Alice would not get a chance to do so.

“Nope nope nope,” John said as lowered a shoulder and dashed into one guard and tossed that guard's nightstick at the other one that Alice didn’t see, “Yeah, we’re done here.”

John put a firm hand on Alice’s shoulder. She didn’t want to stand down, but she was quite literally powerless to move forward. The paparazzi were busy taking videos and photos. Two of the guards were picking themselves up off the ground. The princess's attendants were trying to help the princess on the ground.

“Come near us again and I’m going to let her beat you to within an inch of your life. Get it through your thick fucking skull,” John said as he pushed Alice behind him, “There was never an us. There never will be an us.”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

John walked closer and squatted down in front of her and whispered, “Should you try to do anything to her, I guarantee you that you will be begging me for a quick death. Stay away from us, we want nothing to do with you.”

John turned and picked up the pair’s bags.

“She’s coming with us for assault,” one of the guards said.

“No, she’s not. Everything that has happened is the princess’ fault. She continued to talk about marriage and weddings to an unwilling and already happily married man. She has disrespected us each time she tried to stick her nose in business that didn’t apply to her. Do your job henceforth and ensure she and the other idiots that spawned her keep the fuck away from us,” John said dismissively to the lead guard.

“I insist that she come with us.”

“I will break anyone that lays a finger on my wife,” John hissed, “Don’t think that I’m not above murdering every last one of you right here and now in front of everyone.”

There was no hint of compassion or empathy in John’s voice or eyes. That wasn’t just a threat to get his way. It was a guarantee. The lead guard had dealt with a great number of people over his years, but none seemed nearly as deadly or capable of carrying out their threats. His survival instinct overrode what he so desperately wanted to do and gestured for his men to stand down.

The couple was able to get through the mass of people and eventually were able to get back to their condo. John did have to threaten a few paparazzi that were following them but eventually, they found that following the couple was not worth the possible loss of life.

14:50 Unit 3-B12 – Living Room

Terry was watching a video of Alice’s royal punch. And laughing his ass off as he rewatched it in slow motion again and again. His wife, Gloria, was not nearly as amused as he was after watching the same clip for the hundredth time in a row.

Alice stood in the doorway shaking her head, “Terry, you are an asshole.”

“What a bloody good punch that was, sis,” Terry grinned from the couch, “Literally.”

“You are an asshole,” Alice said crossing her arms.

Gloria got up from the couch and hugged her sister-in-law, “Let me show you what I have cooking for dinner. Our children can catch up,” Gloria smirked at her husband.

“She seems to think we’re not adults,” Terry smirked.

“Should we feel insulted?”

Terry nodded, “Yeah probably. But children don’t have these!”

His hands reached into his pocket and came out with three credit chits.

“Your sister knows full well how I can get with credit chits,” John dropped the bags unceremoniously and slid into one of their chairs, “I’ve seen five-year-olds with more impulse control. Shit, that was proving your wife right.”

“Hah, well I hate saying goodbye to this place. Our flight back to Earth leaves at 23:00.”

“It feels like I’ve hardly spent any time here. You know Alice found this place?”

Terry nodded his head, “Yeah, she couldn’t shut up about the deal she got here. To be fair it was a really good deal. What’s next for you? Have your next assignment yet?”

“Not yet, have two or so weeks of shore leave. Which is much needed after dealing with all those political critters. Christ, still feel dirty from being in such close quarters to them.”

Terry scooted over on the couch to be nearer to John, “So, I uhh, heard a few things. Y’all were attacked?”

“We were prepared. Had a bunch of portable kinetic shields deployed. The no-talent assclowns that attacked us were doing a piss poor job of trying to eliminate their target. I killed all but one of them.”

“Also heard about a shadow group that got butchered.”

John grinned, “Weird. Some monster must have resorted to such brutal tactics.”

“Totally weird,” Terry winked at John, “And I also heard about some seismic shift in power in D.C. too.”

John shrugged, “The other needed to be brought down a peg or two because the first one was eliminated. In the theory of course.”

Terry chuckled, “Sometimes the spectacle is enough to get people in line.”

John nodded, “I agree, the others now understand there’s a limit to how much power they can have. They should know what that thing's red line is now. Hopefully, it’ll take a cold day in hell before such messy business needs to occur again.”

“Sounds like you haven’t lost a step,” Terry laughed, “Well I promise to not get in your sites.”

“Ah hell man,” John smiled, “If you get close, I’d at least give you a courtesy call to vacate the premises or undo whatever shit you are up to.”

Terry stood up, “We need to have one of those good cigars I joked about smoking. I actually want to try one.”

“I’ll go grab a bottle of the good stuff and glasses for us then.”

The ladies looked over the meal and got into wine and were chatting at the dining room table. The boys dug out a pair of hilariously expensive cigars from the walk-in humidor and some top-shelf scotch. A couple of hours drifted by in but a blink of an eye. Dinner was just as good as the company. Eventually, it was time for Terry and his wife to head home to Earth. Goodbyes were said, and with that their first day back home had rapidly come to a close.

September 26th, 2262. 10:00 St. Mary’s Station Shopping District

Alice was walking in front of John on the promenade. John was holding three bags of stuff she had purchased. He was a bit annoyed because she got a new necklace, and he wasn’t allowed to purchase a new watch. The joke and act were on her though, John had already purchased a new Rolex from that very same jewelry store earlier that morning.

Their next stop was a furniture store. They needed two more chairs for the living room and a couple more lamps. John wanted another chair or two for their patio too. Possibly a small table to sit down around too, though he didn’t think that was absolutely necessary.

They continued walking through the crowds. Every now and then there’d be some whispers or fingers pointed at the couple. Alice was now just as well-known as John was. Most of the talking heads from the morning talk shows were divided over her actions.

All but a couple understood and agreed that their princess had overstepped and forced herself into a marriage of an unwilling couple. But nearly all of them thought that violence wasn’t the answer. John thought that was such a bullshit answer. In his experience sometimes violence is oftentimes the only answer to generate the desired response.

In any case, it was a better look that Alice broke the princess’ nose instead of him. John wasn’t above striking women, when the mission demanded it, but not like this. What also irritated him was many of these talk show hosts said he should have done more to prevent the violence. He did stop Alice from annihilating the idiot princess, thankfully a few wise voices called that out.

In any case, John enjoyed the view of his wife walking in front of him. He grinned until she stopped. He walked up to her and peeked over her shoulder.

“Eh, that’s not all bad. You just got an official warning,” John smirked, “Being off-duty helped, and then there were the extenuating circumstances like how you stopped after one punch.”

“You stopped me before I could do anything more,” Alice shoved her tablet back in her purse.

“You’re welcome your highness,” John’s sarcastic response drew an eye roll from her.

“By the way, why were you grinning?”

“Oh, I was looking at your ass,” John said loudly.

“Ughhh, you are such a pig.”

“Mhmm, where’s this furniture place?”

“Around the bend and up a level,” Alice pointed forward.

“Lead on milady,” John took a step to the side and bowed in front of Alice.

Alice smirked as she walked by John. She changed her stride a bit to make her ass move a bit more in stride. John quite appreciated that. And while he was a bit piggish in what he was doing, Alice was no saint either as she was encouraging that behavior in him.

A short walk later they were in the furniture store. The living room chairs were going to be the easiest purchase. They just needed to order two more of the same chairs they had already purchased. Both Alice and John’s OCD needed to be satisfied with that purchase.

The patio chairs were a much more difficult purchase. Or to John, it was more difficult than it needed to be. Alice didn’t seem to like any of the chairs. To John none were great, but most were good enough.

While they were still discussing which ones to get a woman walked up to the couple.

“Why on Earth would you attack the princess?”

John had a confused look on his face, “We weren’t on Earth when she punched the princess.”

The woman’s face fell, she just stared at John with a blank look on her face. Obviously, she was turning a phrase. That John took it as literally as he did had just caused the woman’s operating system to crash. While this was happening, Alice tried to make herself as small as she could.

“I… wh… how…” the woman stammered before partially regaining her composure, “She attacked the princess.”

“Right. Are you married?”

“Yes.”

“Would you appreciate anyone, man or woman, that was coming on to your husband? Especially after being told in no uncertain terms that such behavior was unwanted.”

“Well…” the woman immediately started to respond but then froze.

“Yeah, hard to justify such shitty behavior. Especially from your precious royals,” John spat out the last word derisively.

“Violence is never an answer.”

John laughed very loudly. A small crowd had been gathering to witness this exchange. Though none save the lone woman seemed willing to actively engage in the conversation. John swore he had seen this woman before.

“Violence is an answer. A very effective one I might add,” John set the bags on the table to his left and sat down in a chair, “The application of said violence is equally important. If I struck you because I asked for pancakes and you brought out waffles then I’d be a rampaging asshole. But if I struck you because you were attacking my child or wife, then that violence is righteous.”

“Violence never solves anything. It only leads to more violence.”

“That’s such a load of horsheshit. Directed and specific violence has and likely will continue to solve specific issues. It’s baked into our DNA basically,” John paused for a moment, “I’ll concede your second point. It doesn’t always lead to more but often times it does. At least often enough that I can’t discount it out of hand.”

“The royals…”

That was it. He had seen her before. She was there in the throne room during the ceremony to honor the crew. The very same one where John was in no physical shape to be there and puked on the king.

John interrupted the woman, “Wanted me to cast aside the woman I love and married to marry their daughter. A woman that is so vapidly stupid she ought not to have been saved by me, and her,” John pointed at Alice, “Oh yes, we saved her a couple of years back when the idiot decided to outrun her escorts.”

“You both are barbaric savages,” she spat back.

“Thank you for the compliment, but that doesn’t apply to her. Her punch though, that was fucking savage. Perhaps all it took was a broken nose to make Valerie realize that I’m never going to be anything to her.”

The woman shook her head and left. The crowd began to disperse slowly. He caught a glimpse of a woman still watching the couple. John stood up and walked over to her.

“Because next time, I will get involved,” John whispered in her ear, “Go on back to the royals and let them know that the next time they do anything to my family my response will be much more bloody and deadly.”

John then turned his back on the woman and smiled at Alice as he was pointing at some patio chairs, “I am buying this set for our patio.”