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A Skill Whore's Journey
44. Normal People With Normal Bonding Sessions

44. Normal People With Normal Bonding Sessions

(Honey’s POV)

“Honey was it?” Thrash growls in his quite manly deep voice.

“Glad you remembered, Thrash” He nods in satisfaction I guess “So what shall we do for the hour?”

“Tell me, what are you?”

..

.

“A honey bear-beastman?” Luckily I did not die in that strange Halloween event

“No you’re a human”

Ah ok? Maybe he’s talking about real life?

“Yes I’m a human male but can we forget real life please, I am Honey: a honey bear-beastman and that’s all”

“You are no beastman-”

Cocking my head towards him, I silently wish for explanation.

“-You are but a human wearing bear skin”

…Thrash seems to have a slight misconception of me.

“Well then what are you?” Maybe he believes all beastmen are just people wearing animal skins?

“A wolf”

Maybe he’s just confused…

“How are we different?”

“Tell me, what do you smell?”

*sniff*

“Burnt forest?”

“Death”

..

.

*Sniff* I guess burnt forest is death of trees…

It seems Thrash has an imaginative view of things, or is it a purely logical one?

“Stop smelling the trees” He growls menacingly towards me as he walks towards a small pile of ash.

*Sniff*

“Death”

Going over to sniff the same ash pile…it’s the same as the rest of the forest?

 I’m rather bemused as to what Thrash is percieving.

“I told you stop” He barks towards me angrily “Don’t sniff with that human nose of yours” His eyes bore menacingly into mine

“Then how do I smell?” Maybe he can explain how?

“With the bear”

..

.

…I’m not sure what to say to that…

“AWOOO-” Suddenly he bursts away on all fours, bounding across the ash and into the distance, baying non-stop along the way.

..

.

Thrash is quite a strange individual.       

Sitting down next to the ash pile that smells like death apparently, I sniff it over and over but it only smells like ash...

“Sorry I smelt fear” He stands back up on all two’s, a layer of ash on his stomach “It was just girl”

…um ok?

“Smell death”

*Sniff*

“Grr” I think he was sighing but the goosebumps on my arm tell me something else “Run”

..

.

Huh?

“AWOO” AHHHH!

Sprinting away I hear Thrash’ panting behind me, very close behind.

“Thrash what are you do-AH” He snapped at me!?

Glancing behind…Thrash has gone mad! His eyes are feral and his teeth are snapping at my legs dangerously close and he’s on all fours.

He almost looks like a wolf!

Running for my life it does become that when his teeth rake on of my legs taking off over 100 health!

I’m going to die,

I’ve got to run faster

Faster

FASTER!

Falling onto all fours I start bounding through the ash, coughing and spluttering as it hits me in the face but I don’t want to slow down, for there’s a feral Thrash behind me.

Running is strange, lopsided and too slow. I can hear him just inches behind, his hot breath spitting at my feet.

I don’t want to die; it’s such a pain to re-make my character!

Bounding for my life I’m still too slow! Just how do I run faster?

Wait I’ve got 4 limbs on the ground.

Pounding the ground with both hands I pull myself forward before kicking off with both feet.

*Boom*

That was rather…thrilling.

The wind picked up too and the landscape in my peripherals is just a blur, whooshing past me in a dull grey.

And I can’t feel his breath anymore.

Ah the wind is refreshing, calm, free!

“AWOOO” Haah he’s so far behind I can barely hear it but he’s getting closer.

Faster!

Blasting through ash I can see it rocketing up either side of me and all over me, but ptah that doesn’t matter because I’m running free!

“AWOO” It’s closer now, but it’s less menacing, more friendly. It’s almost like a greeting.

“RAAAR”

..

.

Was that me?

Wahahah it was!

I hear his panting as he races up to me, appearing at my left side, bounding hands then feet like me, soaring through the ash, uncaring off the piles that blast onto us.

“GRAWWOOOO”

Slowing down after a while, I begin wincing at the cuts on my hands and feet from running across sharp ground, ow…in hindsight this was a terrible idea.

“Smell”

*Sniff*

He’s right…it smells like death, like a burnt rabbit to be more exact, how odd.

“What are you?”

“A bear”

“Yes” His growl is satisfied, his grin wide and blackened by ash.

I really need a tree to scratch my back on now

..

.

did I really just get that itch?

Standing back up, I fall over; partially from exhaustion, partially from suddenly being up so high.

…Wow I do feel absolutely beat after that run.

Oh I have a notification

Congratulations! You have learnt a Racial Skill

RACIAL SKILL: Unleashing The Beast (Bear), Beginner [Lvl1] (0%), (Passive/Active)

Due to your birth you are half-beast and thus innately you have the desires and traits of such beast. But only upon freeing your mind of all human links can the beast truly show itself to the world.

Passive Benefits:

Allow intermediate with all physical skills

Upon activation:

Lose all social skills.

Lose all magical skills

+10% to all physical skills

Gain all Bear traits with 10% proficiency

Xp increases by 100%

..

.

“Thrash you are an absolute geniu-”

“Woof woof”

..

.

Thrash…that’s your own tail…

“Ah” He stops suddenly and stands back up. “I will catch that damnable thing which haunts me, one day”

..

.

He’s definitely more animal then human right now…

Checking on the time, our hour has almost past. Wow we were running for a long time.

Actually…where are we?

Looking around I don’t recognize anything at all. At least we’re still in the burnt forest.

“Don’t look, smell” His deep voice growls in my ear suddenly.

Taking a deep sniff…smells like forest again.

Hmm, so I need to activate the skill but ho-ah!

Going down on all fours I sniff the ground, planting my nose into the ash. I’m an animal, a bear, what do I care for a little ash?

Aha! I smell…rabbit…living too

“Do you smell her?”

Her? Oh right there aren’t any living things in this forest except us (hopefully), so it’s one of the rabbit-beastladies?

“To the left?” Not too sure, my nose isn’t used to tracking things.

“Close enough” He growls happily and begins walking steadily towards the left.

Standing back up I feel quite imbalanced for a few seconds before the vibrant smell of death is replaced by ash and charred wood quite abruptly.

Hmm that is an odd and only slightly perceptible difference if I was not to focus on it…

Anyways, I should change before Thrash decides to become more wolf than human again for I am too tired to outrun him.

He was quite scary as a wolf though…

“You were holding back right?”

“I was hungry” He shrugs his shoulders worrylessly

…I guess he was encompassing his wolf…maybe.

Everyone let’s meet up

Let’s get back to the others, quickly…

“Hello the-holy mother of Aiag you’re covered in ash, what happened?” Joat and the rest of the group looked at both of us in half-shock. Well we are covered head to toe in ash.

“We ran, we howled, A prey was found, but caught it was not”

“Right…” Joat doesn’t sound believing “Honey, good time training?”

“Enlightening” Joat is giving me a strangely understanding look. Hmm maybe Thrash has done this for everyone?

“Perfect” He walks up to me and gives me a pat on the back “well this time round you’ve got Princess for the hour” He leans in to my ear “Good luck”

Eh?

I thought she’s nice? She can’t be more dangerous than Thrash right?

Joat gives me a pitying look before heading off, replacing himself with the quite disgusting looking zombie girl.

Though if she weren’t rotting I’d say she would be quite a beautiful thing especially with the long and wavy crimson hair of hers, falling a little underneath her shoulders.

I don’t see why he thinks she’s dangerous and I hope not to find out.

“Hello there madam, I believe we should reintroduce ourselves. I am Honey”

“Call me…Princess” She really likes that nickname it seems. Ah well Princess it is.

“So Princess what are we going to do in our hour?” I notice everyone’s dispersed to other areas already, disappearing from my sight. Huh game vision is a rather interesting concept.

“I don’t know, me and Pinky Seniour did some dodging training, which hurt a little” She rubs her rotting arms wincing slightly at the dark purple splotches on her skin. Bruises?

Also I do see quite a few cuts on her arms, black blood crusting around them. Just how rough was Pinky Seniour?

 “Was she a little rough on you?” A little would be a small understatement.

“I don’t know, she hit me a lot but that’s because I was too slow and then I kept falling down and cutting myself on splinters of wood” She looks down rather sadly.

Hmm, something smells off (not her though oddly enough)…but I can answer that question later. Right now let’s see if I can do something about those cuts and bruises.

“Hey, do you know of any trees that are still standing around here?”

“Yes but what for?” She looks up at me expectantly with vibrant purple eyes…yet I can still see the dead milky white iris…what a strange combination.

“You’ll soon see. Please lead the way Princess”

She quickly directs me to a large burnt tree a few minutes away, hobbling slightly as she goes.

Looks like Pinky Seniour did a number on her. I’m going to have to tell Joat and I’m guessing the Skeleton who looks like her party member about this.

Bad blood between a party is never good.

“Here we are” She points at the large blackened tree…hmm without the leaves it’s hard to tell what it is.

Well it’s better than nothing at all.

“Forgive me for a minute” Walking over to the tree…ahhh ohh that’s so nice!

Wait I’ve got to grab the tree to just-ahh oh god that’s fantastic.

Ah there’s a little itch on my lower b-mmm, this tree is my new best friend. Oh yes aghh.

“Ehe”

Oh god forgot you were there!

“Ah sorry” I stop gyrating my back against the tree, feeling superbly refreshed.

“It was really funny to watch, but why were you doing it?”

“I had a very big itch”

“So when people have an itch they scratch their backs on trees?”

..

.

Was that an actual question?

“Well some people can’t reach certain parts of their body so they have to use other things to scratch it…I use trees” That’ll do as an explanation…I guess?

“Ah that makes sense” It does? “I’ve been trying to scratch this bit but I can’t. So this is how!”

 Well depends on who you are.

She looks from me to the tree with an almost needing look…

“Go for it” Seems she needs confirmation that it’s fine?

Almost bounding up to the tree, she starts gyrating her back against it, letting out a few gurgling sounds of happiness.

Well she isn’t wrong; it’s rather amusing to watch. I definitely see why she was giggling at me.

“Ow…I cut myself” Ah yes, bark is sharp…maybe I can do it because I’ve got fur on my back?

Well that’s a question for later.

“Ah sit down, I’ll scratch for you” I know the pains of that impossible itch so I’ll help her with it.

Obidiently sitting down in the ash, looking slightly concerned as she does so, I sit behind her and itch that annoying spot between the shoulders for a minute or two.

“Better?”

“Thank you Honey”

Wiping off the black blood from my hands with the ash…it doesn’t really work.

Thank god I’m not a queasy person.

Right what we came here for!

Standing up, grab the charred bark and rip it off revealing a less burnt interior.

*Scratch scratch*

It was a good idea to add claws with my remade character.

The wood gets softer the more I scratch until finally I feel a tar-like liquid squidge through my fingers.

“Right, come here Princess” I hear her crunch her way towards me.

Grabbing a fistful of the cream coloured sap, hmm let’s hope this isn’t poisonous; I turn round and start lathering it on her arms.

“It burns slightly” She winces but doesn’t complain further.

“Yes it’ll do that because it’s in direct contact with your inner layer of skin which is very sensitive”

“But what is this supposed to do?” She looks at her now white covered arms.

“It stops you bleeding as well as stops it getting infected, which will let your wounds close up peacefully and without problems”

“Wah, how do you know this magic?”

“It’s not magic, it’s science. But not many people know about this anyways since it’s very rarely needed nowadays”

“But what if you get cut?”

“There are medicines of all kinds nowadays” This girl seems to know very little about the world.

“Medicine?” She surely must know about medicines? Or is she one of those anti-medicine families?

No that isn’t possible, or she’d know about natural healing methods such as this…

Just what kind of lifestyle does she have in the real world?

“Something humans made to cure sickness’ and diseases and also for things like cuts and bruises if need be”

“Oh, that sounds really cool”

“It is, but I prefer methods like this”

“It’s no longer burning, do I need more?”

“Yep, and I’ll do the rest of your body. Please show me all your cuts”

“And what do I do with…the big pruple things?”

“Bruises?”

“Yes that’s what they’re called right?” She truly doesn’t know anything…

“Yes. Sadly I can’t do anything with them, since all the small plants and bushes are destroyed so there won’t be any anti-septic leaves to use” I start musing to myself, only stopping because I notice her confusion. “Your bruises will go after a small while, until then they will hurt a little”

“Oh ok”

I begin digging for a little more tree sap, keeping an eye out on the tree so that it doesn’t suddenly fall on top of us…that’d be bad.

“Alright where n…now?”

It’s a little shocking to see her in her underwear without a single complaint...but I’ve seen enough naked people that it doesn’t shock me too much anymore.

Once again, if she wasn’t rotted I’d say she’d be very beautiful.

Anyways, I begin rubbing her cuts gently, making sure the sap fills them up and stays there.

All in all it takes a good while without so much as a complaint. She does wince though, but so would anybody with the strange burning feeling in addition to the pinch of bared flesh to the air.

Luckily no dangerous areas were cut that’s her all done.

“Right, you can put your clothes back on”

She nods and puts the surprisingly cute cowgirl outfit back on.

Well most of an outfit anyways; quite a lot of it is breaking/broken off probably from overuse.

Then again she’s one of the few still with a working piece of armour; most broken quite quickly…but then again ours were all staple jobs…

And they were quite uncomfortable due to it all being hard leather.

“Honey, can you teach me how to get this stuff?” She asks me excitedly.

“It’s called sap and I can if you find me another tree”

She jumps into the air joyfully before wincing. Ah right, should’ve told her she shouldn’t jump around…

I’m sure it’s common sense…but then again for one who doesn’t seem to have had this situation before…

We quickly find another tree.

“So there are two ways of getting to the sap of a tree. The first is through a spigot” She gives me a confused look “It’s a small pipe which you shove into the tree and the sap will flow out of it” She nods in understanding.

“And the other way is digging to it?”

“Yep” She learns quickly. “And since we don’t have a spigot that’s exactly what we’re going to do”

Though she doesn’t have claws…

“Nevermind, we’re going to make a spigot”

“How?”

“Well spigots make holes so if we just make a hole that’ll work as one”

“Ah, but how are we going to do that?”

“This” I take out the terrible dagger that got me into Weaponsmithing with Jarken. Almost forgot that I had this.

Handing it to her, I have her twist the handle into the soft flesh of the tree, watching the knife quickly dig in.

Once the dagger is in all the way to the handle I have her pull it out and I did not plan far enough ahead.

“Mmm it’s so sweet” She begins licking some of the sap off her drenched fingers.

“Wait it might be poisonous” it’s quite hard to tell just from sight.

She spits some out and then looks sadly at her covered arms. “But it tastes so good”

“Sucks doesn’t it. Though if you’re not feeling sick in an hour then you can get some more later”

“Really?!”

“Sure, but someone else will have to come to get it for you” I give her a reassuring pat on her head because I know that sap can be quite delicious.

But I should really clean her up before the hour is ov-

Everyone let’s meet up

“Oh hey guys you ready for a-”

..

.

“Honey shirt now” Joat stops chuckling to whatever Zzoid was saying and immediately both of them take off their shirts and begin wiping Princess away with some slight franticness.

“Ow that hurts” She complains as they accidentally roughen her up.

“Sorry but it might be poisonous” one of the three lizard-beastmen quickly retorts while wiping his shirt over her back with more caution but still quite a bit of speed.

 I take off my shirt and join in, wiping her right leg while joat does her left, seems like they are in a rush to clean her, for most obvious reasons I suppose.

“But it’s already inside me”

..

.

 “Well hello there” Ah it’s the pink rabbit duo and the smaller one has quite a saucy?

And Thrash is here too with another lizard-beastman.

And quickly everyone else walks towards us everyone glancing between Princess and me…

“It’s so sticky” She plays with some in her fingers uncaring or unnoticing of the stares.

*Gulp*

 What have I done?

“Why hello there…Joat, Zzoid and…Honey”

..

.

My heart just stopped for a second there…what a disturbing feeling

“Hi…er Krudel?” His fingers look very sharp.

“Hi there, we were just cleaning the sap off of Princess here” ZZoid quickly butts into the killing atmosphere choking me.

“Yep that’s exactly what we were doing, cleaning her up”

“We just bumped into her; Honey was the one who’s responsible for getting it all over her” Zzoid…that was a terrible statement.

Eeek killing intent!

“Sorry I was teaching her to gather sap from trees, I forgot about turgor pressure” I bow deeeeeply towards Krudel whose eyeless sockets burn holes into me.

“Ah well that’s fine then”

..

.

Eh? The tension has lifted? Seems like Krudel is a very understanding man.

“Mistress, how about you wash off in the river before partnering up”

“Ah but honey told me this is to stop the cuts”

*Twitch*

“Ah I see, then please wash off after a while. Honey, it’s our turn together isn’t it” He gives me a friendly smile. Such an understanding man…

“Of course” I smile back and we begin heading off into the ash covered forest (well what’s left of it), quickly leaving everyone behind as they all too disperse in other directions.

 “So what shall we be training?” I ask him as we come to a stop, all alone.

“Have you got the endurance stat yet?”

“As a matter of fact no, it didn’t sound likea fun stat to get”

“No it doesn’t but it’s a very useful stat to have”

“So what painless way is there to gain it?”

“When did I say painless?”

Huh?

AHH!

Before I realize it i’m on the ground, both legs broken as well as both arms.

It was so fast the pain hasn’t OOOWWWW!

“Now then, while you’re gaining the stat I shall tell you all the rules that you should abide when around my Mistress” His bone hand digs into my open chest slowly.

“Number 1” He starts writing it on my right peck “Uncouth words will be punished with the removal of one’s tongue”

*Shiver*

He stops to wipe off the blood and to let me heal back to full. Cutting at me again too soon.

“Number 2” His fingers dig slightly deeper this time, owww! This is torture! This shouldn’t be allowed in this game. “Sexualising her in any way whatsoever will result in the removal of such organ, slowly” This really hurts! Also sexualisation is only in the mi-OW!

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

He’s down at my midsection now.

“Number 3” He’s about one bone in now, slowly dragging it through my skin. “Physically damaging her in any way will result in such damage 10 times over”

This is more than 10 times over! And I didn’t do anything to her!

“Number 4” Gah! Fingers suddenly sunk in another bone deep “Treat her like the lady she is. Any uncouth personnel around her will be removed…permanently”

*Gulp*

He’s below my bellybutton now, please stop, please!

“Number 5” His entire finger is sunk now and I took quite a lot of damage from that “If your name is Joat, you shall be flayed, hung and quartered”

..

.

“I’m Honey” He’s using me as a punching bag for Joat!? Seems like Joat has done some seriously bad stuff. And here I was thinking Joat was a nice guy…

“I…know” Seems like he forgot for a second there? *gulp*

*Ding*

“I’ve gained endurance, please stop” Please

..

.

He stops…huh?

“Sorry, that was ungentlemanly of me. Please forgive my actions” He bows deeply with surprising grace in his chocky leather suit …who decided to try make a suit out of leather?

Err what do I say?

“If you do not forgive me then please break all the bones in my body as retribution”

..

.

The sudden change of attitude is rather worrying…

Oddly enough, I can move all my body again…wait has it already been half an hour?!

“I’m not a vengeful person, but as punishment…please teach Princess about the real world, she seems to lack some rather basic knowledge such as medicine”

He cocks his head. Hmm maybe he’s a little surprised at my punishment?

“Ah that is a special case…we’re an anti-medicinal family”

That makes her situation have a little more sense…a little.

“But I will begin teaching her things about the world, things she should’ve learnt long ago”

I wonder why he’s never taught her anything before, because it’s obvious to anyone he’s seriously overprotective to the point of he’d probably kill to protect her. No he’d definitely kill to protect her…and not in the game either.

So was it his overprotectiveness that denied her worldly lessons?

..

.

I think I finally understand why Joat told me good luck; she wasn’t the dangerous one…he was.

Looking down at my front, I see the rules slowly fading away, nothing remaining, not even the dry blood.

Game systems are rather intriguing.

“For sakes of me gaining the endurance stat, could you please break my body” He bows down to me gracefully.

Understandable I guess…

I begin snapping his bones…which is surprisingly difficult.

“Hmm, seems like it’s no use” He finally opens his mouth after a few minutes of me snapping his ribs off.

I raise an eyebrow in question.

“Seems like I, as a skeleton, don’t feel pain so endurance might be a skill I cannot get”

Oh so race limitations…

“So since there is nothing we can do, how about you tell me all your worries. Since you do seem quite worried about Princess”

“Mistress and yes, I do believe you deserve to know some of my worries”

I sit down facing him.

“It’s been a stressful week and it’ll only get worse now that she’s finally going into society”

Into society? She’s definitely had a strange ubringing whoever she is.

“Watching such an innocent flower be by dogs, I worry. I really worry that all these years of hard work to turn her into a great lady will be destroyed by the uncouth society of this world…”

“Like Joat?”

He nods.

Hmm “Well I think that she as an adult must be able to see who to follow and who to not. That is something that  you cannot ever prepare her for” I place a hand on his bone shoulder “And as for Joat, look how everyone trusts him. To me he seems trustworthy despite all his faults. He’s like an open book”

“Easy to read but hard to understand”

“I guess.  But it’s easy enough to see that he’s not a bad person. I just think you’re being a bit jealous of him”

..

.

“I guess you’re right…in some places anyways” He bows down, forehead touching ash. “Thank you for you view and for calming my mind, even if only a little”

“Anything to stop you actually going through with your rules” Definitely don’t want to experience rule 2…

“Yes, Sorry again for that uncouth behaviour”

“Forgiven. Shall we go?”

“Hey Honey you’re here” Joat looks at me seriously surprised and gives me a hug “Thanks for taking one for the team. Hope he wasn’t too bad on you” He whispers to me.

“Ah he mentioned that he’s going to flay, hang and quarter you” I whisper back.

“That…is a lot better than what my imagination did to me” He flashes me a grin before motioning for someone to come over.  “Right, Krudel…let’s bond…” Facing death with a smile, just like him…

“Hey Honey, hope you aren’t too worn out by Krudel, I still have to have a go with you” I feel mildly disturbed by that statement and I’m not sure why…

The speaker is the small pink rabbit, Pinky Juniour I believe?

“Sure, what are we going to do for this hour?”

“Well Princess was telling me all about how you scratched her back and I’ve got quite an itch. Do you think you can handle it?”

“The purpose of this is for everyone to get to know eachother so why not” Small bonding experiences like these will help make a more cohesive group.

We walk a little bit till there’s no one around and Pinky Juniour flops onto the ash on her front.

“Please can you scratch my back, it’s really quite itchy”

“Sure” I straddle her lower back and begin in the lower section.

“Ah Princess was right about this; you’re really good at scratching. It’s almost like a finger massage”

“Well scratching can count as a massage if someone knows how to do it right, but it’s a lighter version of relaxation and comfort rather than deknotting of muscles since you’re just eliciting a response from your receptors to help release a small amount of endorphins.”

“You soun-ah, like you know quite a bit about this” She seems to enjoy the scratching, which I’m slowly turning into a massage because that does do a better job and we’ve got an hour, more than enough time for a good massage. Plus I’ve still got some sap on my hands.

Rubbing my palms together to heat up the sap I then begin kneading lightly at first and then a lot more forceful.

Hmm seems like she prefers it a lot more forceful.

“I used to do a lot of hiking with people and quite a few kids. They especially complained like, ironically enough, little kids so this was one of the ways to keep them moving”

“Ah I’d definitely walk 6 hours if I oh got this after every day”

“Yup” Ok she’s definitely not 12 years old as her body suggests. Her casualness at this kind of force I’m putting on her back woud make most little women cry if not scream, but she’s really enjoying this.

It’s one of those weird things where older people prefer a more forceful massage because of the amount of knots in their muscles usually.

“So you’re definitely not a child”

“Mmm good boy, nice you noticed” I’m sure that was because of me cracking her lower spine. “But how could you tell?”

“Usually the forcefulness of a massage tells you the rough age of a person, plus you can find things out like the fact that you have minor scoliosis”

“A pretty useful skill”

I silently nod. Being a hire-massage hiker is a fantastic self-employed job.

“Hey will it be easier if I take off my t-shirt?” She asks after another crack of her spine.

“Yes but it is not necessary, thin material like this isn’t a problem for me” I schooch up a bit, placing my knees on her white t-shirt to keep it from rising while I work. “Sorry it might get a bit messy”

“It’s fine, it’m lying in ash, it really can’t get much messier”

Hah true.

“Ahem, excuse me sir, just why are you pleasuring my loli-baba. That is my duty”

..

.

Excuse me just what was that sentence?

“Oh Zzoid, sorry but it seems like Honey is going to be my new favourite”

“Impossible. You!” He starts towards me. Oh no not another one!

*Crash*

..

.

“Please teach me the skills required to fully pleasure my loli-baba’s body” I have to say he did not hesitate in smacking his head into the ash but still his way of saying things is rather…ill put.

“I don’t see why I shouldn’t the more people that know the better” Plus if I don’t I believe there may be a little bad blood between him and I, since he too seems quite protective of his female…though I doubt they are anything? I don’t know as of yet.

Hmm maybe I should be asking the real questions here.

“Thank you Honey, for this I shall have one favour of any kind from you, one that does not have anything to do with the beauty before us of course”

“Oh Zzoid, Honey doesn’t need to ask to use me”

..

.

She’s equally as awful with her wording…though it seems like she’s doing it on purpose.

“With me around you will never need him. That I can guarantee with my very soul”

Zzoid is quite the dramatic.

Standing up I ask Zzoid to straddle her back.

“Oh I couldn’t do such a thi-”

“Please for my sake”

“With pleasure my lady”

With youthful vigour he straddles her back and starts warming up his hands.

“Well since you’re a beginner we’ll use some sap to make it easier on both of you” I rush over to a nearby surviving tree and begin digging.

 Within a minute or two, with Zzoid’s help, he’s got hands covered in sap and he’s back on her back.

“First things first, never lose contact with her or it’ll all be lost, got it?”

He nods.

“So there’s two major motions for you; pushes and twists” Straddling her legs I do a push movement with my lower palm, dragging it up his back so he knows what it feels like.

“Ah so it’s like when you’re wiping your hands on your trousers?”

“Exactly, but slower with enough force to feel the heat build up”

I peek over his shoulder and sure enough he’s got the motion sorted.

“Right next one is a twist” I place my palm on his back and twist my hand clockwise so my palm rotates in one place.

Looks like he’s got this one easily too.

“Now do a push up her back and a twist at the end away from her spine and then push down her sides” Doing the motion on his back as I say it, he hopefully gets a feel for i-yup he’s already got it down.

“This is called a spreading motion, mostly used at the beginning to warm up the body as well as smoothen out some of the easier knots”

“Hmm this reminds me of working with dough, not that your supple skin is anything like that oh my loliness” He quickly corrects himself as she huffs slightly.

“A basic yet good massage is to do this spreading motion up the spine, brancing off a little bit further up each time and returning down the sides before starting over”

I let him begin doing that. Hmm seems like he’s not missing out any bit.

The hardest thing with this is that one leaves gaps undone but seems like he’s covering it all.

“Do you bake a lot?”

“Quite a bit” so he’s already done these motions before, just on dough…which isn’t that different in all truth.

“Good so you know kneading?”

“Obviously” Ok that was a bit of a stupid question.

“Now there’s 2 types; Palm to finger and knuckle”

“I know them both” He definitely takes his dough kneading seriously.

“Alright, so palm to finger should happen on the sides while knuckle should travel on either side of the spine” Showing him both types on his body, he gets down to it proficiently.

“Zzoid, I thought you didn’t cook?” Pinky Juniour asks from the floor, looking rather relaxed as she should be.

“Don’t tell anyone please”

“May I be rude enough to ask why?”

“My brothers don’t know”

“I swear you’re the older one, what harm could it do?” I ask quite confused.

“Oh” Pinky Juniour somehow sees something I definitely don’t. “Well damn you should cook me something soon”

“For you I’d cook myself, a pristine bisteque I’d be”

“Mmm”

“Alright you two, please stop that and get back to work” I crack Zzoid’s spine with a bit of finger movement.

The conversation dies down and only the relaxing sound of background music plays…it has been a while since I’ve heard it.

It’s a serene music, albeit with a slight crackling sounds, like a warm fire, playing over the top of a lot of it. A rather strange combination.

“That is a good question” I suddenly think of something that was kind of bugging me “Just what were you doing here?”

“Oh that? I just felt my loliness was being abusedby a big black bear so I kind of needed to re-establish my servitude to her over all others”

“What about your partner?”

“Oh it’s just Zzard, he wanted to go to the bathroom anyways so it suited us both”

“How did you even find us?” Pinky Juniour asks with an airy whisper, she looks like she’s extremely relaxed.

“Fate led me” Hmm I smell something’s going on here too.

“Hihi, why of course it did” She giggles slightly

“Right Pinky Juniour sit up, we’ll do your neck now”

Zzoid gets off her lower back and I get off her legs letting her sit up.

“Now for neck same as before but when you go down go to her shoulders and then around the blades and back up. Remember don’t lose contact”

There’s a lot of cracking going on as he travels around her shoulder blades.

“Don’t worry that happens a lot” Zzoid had stopped for a second, probably from shock “people get a lot of tension in that area, especially between the shoulder blades” I prove my point by smoothening out a rather pesky knot in between his own shoulder blades.

The massaging continues for a while and I make sure that after he’s done basic smoothning he begins rotary motions with his palm around the particularly pesky knots.

He’s a good learner, probably fueled by the need to be better than me for his ‘loliness’’ sake…but as long as it works I’m not fussed.

*Ding*

Congratulations! You have learnt a Skill: Massaging

 SKILL: Massaging, Beginner [lvl 1] (0%), (Active)

Massaging is the technique to relax one’s body with controlled pressure. Many can massage but few can do it well. Doing it wrong can as easily injure someone as doing it right can relax someone.

When Massaging:

May cure certain Physical Conditions

May give 1% increase to Physical skills for 1 hour

Xp increases by 5%

So it is true that anything can be a skill. Perfect. Hmm maybe there’s a sub-class as a masseur…

Everyone come meet us

Ah the hour passed pretty quickly.

Now where is he?

“Add him into a party that’s how we’re all doing it”

Oh so that’s how everyone’s finding eachother. Before I was just randomly stumbling into him...

Inviting him to a party I check my map and he’s not too far away.

 Heading over there we’re the last 3 to get there.

 “I swear you weren’t supposed to be a trio” Joat points out to which everyone nods with suspicion.

“We just happened to stumble upon one another” Zzoid shrugs his shoulders and walks towards Krudel “Well I better be off”

Dodging further questioning, he disappears off with Krudel.

“Anyways, grab someone new guys and let’s get going” He takes Pinky Juniour from me with a friendly smile, but quickly turns around  “Ah also, Charmine how’s the lunch situation going?”

*Rumble*

Ah it has been quite a few hours so my body is getting quite hungry.

“Maybe a few more hours, don’t worry it’ll be sorted though” Charmine gives a large innocent smile, albeit a bit shy.

“Fantastic, well message us when lunch is ready. Till then, everyone feed yourselves on these” He points at Baila pouts slightly towards Joat, before producing a large number of berries in her hands..

Food.

Taking a handful and munching on them, mm they are acidy but they keep my satiety up so they do their job.

“Right, who am I with this time?”

“Me!” The larger twin sister pink rabbit-beastlady hops up and down, Pinky Seniour if I remember correctly.

Ah, I forgot to tell Joat and Krudel about her. I’ll do it later.

“Well miss, come along and let us do something” She hops her way towards me without missing a beat; she’s rather friendly.

“SO what are we going to do?” She asks once we stop, away from everyone.

“We are going to sit down and talk”

“If…it’s about ‘Princess’ then Joat and Zzoid already sat me down” she looks down rather guiltily.

Ah so is that why both of them suddenly appeared when I was with Princess?

“Well if they’ve already had the talk, do you understand what you’ve done right?”

“I know, I shouldn’t have been so roug-right? Why are you asking me what I did right?” She looks rather shocked at me. She’ll understand soon enough.

“You bullied Princess, so what about that is right?”

“Nothing?” She looks at me suspiciously

“Really? So if there was nothing right about it then why did you do it?” I sit down looking pensively towards her.

“Because…I was jealous…of how close she and Joat were” She sits down too, face blushing in embarassment.

“Then why was it wrong?”

“Eh?” Seems she understood the question “It was wrong because I was hurting someone”

“Is she a rival or an enemy?”

“…What’s the difference?” she looks extremely confused right now.

“A rival is a friend who is competing with you for something, an enemy is an outsider trying to take what you believe is yours. So which is she?”

“...um, my enemy?”

“Then what you did wasn’t wrong”

“EH?” She shouts, completely taken aback by my response.                                                      

“Your enemy is someone you need to defeat, so use whatever you can”

“But  I was bullying, isn’t that wrong?”

“No, she’s your enemy, no matter what you do, if at the end of the day you stop them taking what is yours you have done nothing wrong”

“But I don’t understand”

“Then listen and learn”

She looks at me with a rather thoughtful look, confusion dulling her eyes.

“You will fight her and in turn she will fight you, and even if you end up getting Joat she will still be after him, so you will eventually need to get rid of her, permanently”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You’ll kill her”

“WHAT” She jumps up, backing off quite a few steps.

“Because if you don’t, she will kill you”

Her eyes widen in a cocktail of emotions ranging from horror to disgust.

“She is your enemy, and you kill your enemies, or make sure to be far enough away from them that you never meet” I stand up and pace slowly towards her as she backs off fearfully.

“But I don’t want to kill her, I’ll never go that far”

“You say that now, but what if you saw her and Joat together, what if you got so angry, that you fought her, took it one step to far, one punch too hard. You’ve already beaten her up, all you needed to do was focus on more vital areas and you would’ve killed her not just hurt her”

I grab her by the shoulders

“It’s not as farfetched as you believe. One minute you’ll be fighting, the next, one of you will be lying on the ground lifeless. You’ll have to look into their cold dead eyes and stand in their blood. Could you do that? Could you deal with that? Seeing a dead human, one killed by your own hands for a selfish reason. How would you live with yourself when they haunt your dreams at night and the living friends and relatives of that person haunt your days? How many lies would you have to make to cover up, how many of those would you have to tell yourself daily, tell yourself so much that they become truth? And if people find out, can you imagine their faces, what if your parents found out, somebody you loved? Could you deal with they look of horror, disgust, disappointment when they look at you and run, run so far away from you that you’ll never see them again…

 That is what it means to have an enemy, someone who you are willing to kill and suffer the consequences”

..

.

“So tell me, is she your enemy”

*Sob*

“…No” She is staring down at the floor, tears dripping from her eyes uncontrollably.

 “So what is she?”

“A Rival”

“Then…” I give her a light chop on the top of her head “what you did was very wrong, you shouldn’t treat your rivals so roughly, for they are your friends afterall”

“I’m sowwy” She’s crying a little bit now, but seems like she finally understands me.

Suddenly whipping round she runs off! Wait where are you going?

Running after her, the sobs quickly escalate to a lingering train of wailing splitting through the expansive ashen land.

I see Princess and the large green ogress I believe was called BoneCracker?

“I’M SOWWY”

Pinky Seniour crashes into a surprised Princess, sobbing uncontrollably and saying something that I’m assuming is apologies.

“Hey it’s alright” Princess gets to a sitting position somehow, a snotting Pinky Seniour still latched onto her front, and begins patting her hair gently “But what are you sorry for?”

“I bwahs shguhing buu!”

More snotted garble from Pinky Seniour but it seems Princess understood?

“Well you were teaching me right? Although it did hurt it was fun”

Princess is either extremely forgiving or has completely missed the point. Either way it looks like there won’t be any bad blood between these two.

Honey what did you do?

Oh it’s Joat, he must’ve heard the wail train.

Just sorted out a young rivalry I believe

From her actions I decided Pinky Seniour was a young adult, more likely still within teenagerhood.

Ah, well I swear Zzoid and I sorted that out, but hey adding icing onto the cake that is wisdom, go for it.

I don’t get any more messages, probably Joat sorting things out, so guess I have to deal with this now.

The crying has deintensified but it’s still going somewhat.

“BoneCracker was it?” I turn towards the ogress and she nods slowly. “Shall we leave the two of them to bond?”

She cracks her knuckles in response and begins walking away.

I wonder what we will do for a good half an hour?

Honey+BC-> Verge of Death: Trained in physical skills to death

“Skills” She grunts out in a deep voice.

“Only weaponsmithing and massaging since I died in the great forest fire”

“Bad”

“I know, but I’ll get them eventually” Since all the fauna seems to have been wiped out I’ll get some good time to train up

“Let’s train”

“What shall we begin with?”

“Burpee”

I get down, do a burpee, jump in the air, land and do a roll.

“No, just burpee” She grunts and starts doing her own.

“Alright” maybe it’s a warmup.

5…6…7...I really hate burpees.

“Don’t stop” She says to me as she dives into another burpee

Reaching 15 now.

“16…17…18….19…20” She begins calling them out  ground shaking as she does them, all the while looking at me making sure I’m doing them too.

It’s difficult, 24 ow.

“25..26..27” She’s speeding up!

*Huff huff*

“Keep going”

It’s tiring!

“34..35..36” Keep, going, urgh.

..

.

“50,51,52,53” More speed up?

Feeling faint I persist because I know she’s got something planned just like Thrash did! I’ll power through!

“58!59!60!”

..

.

*SLAP*

I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Nope just a really thick green hand.

“61” She calls out grunting from slight effort and I drag myself up to continue.

Seems like I forgot to breath properly, well I’m not the fittest but 60 burpees in a row is a lot!

Trying to ignore the lightheadedness, it doesn’t really work and I end up passing out at around 130?

Getting a tooth knocked out by a heavy handed slap I’m up and at it, 131, 132, 133.

“249,250!”

Only passed out another…2 times?

I am seriously unfit for someone who hikes quite a lot in summer. At least my breathing is sorted so I’m not passing out from lack of oxygen.

“251” We’re not done? “252” Argh

Moving my numbed body up and down, ignoring the dull fiery pain that’s coursing through the entirety of my body.

“500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510” Even faster!?

Throwing up and then planting my face in it, I stand back up and flimsily jump before almost buckling to the ground.

Oh wait I did.

“511!” She bark an order at me and I roar back, long since been in animal mode to help get that little physical boost.

“515 516 517” I…Must…Finish!

“600 FINISH”

“AHHHHHGHGHHHH” Collapsing in a pile of my vomit, blood and sweat I immediately pass out.

..

.

*Slap*

Getting a final slap to wake me up, I immediately go into a burpee position; or try to as my body responds sluggishly.

“Finished”

Really? Finally? 600 burpees is an insane number!

“How…how long’s passed?” I huff out, trying not to scream from the scorching pain from over extensive anerobic breathing.

“1 hour”

..

.

Only one hour?

“Should’ve done 1000 but 600 will do” That was a surprisingly long sentence.

“What *HUFF* was the point of this?”

“Warm up”

*Twitch*

I don’t want to know what the actual exercise is supposed to be.

She looks at me intensely for a minute before standing up suddenly.

“Must go join the others” Her sentences have gotten longer for some reason.

Moving myself to standing is a lot easier than it should’ve been for someone who’s body is wrecked.

Oh wait, this is a game, recovery happens in an odd fashion.

“Was I out for 30 minutes?”

“Yes”

Ah so that’s how I feel recovered.

Walking rather steadily I notice that I’ve got notifications.

Congratulations! Through doing intense cardiovascular workout you hav discovered a stat

STAT: Stamina

Points in Stamina will improve stamina related skills, Martial skills and will give you an increasing stamina pool,

Do you want to put this stat on one of your stat slots? YES/NO

Xp increases by 10%

Well that was one way to gain Stamina.

Congratulations! Through doing over 500 repetitions of a difficult exercise without substantial rest you have gained a title

TITLE: Fitness Junkie

You have worked out so much that you have a high level of fitness to the point of mild insanity.

For gaining this title your Stamina, Endurance, Strength and Willpower stats will increase by 5 each. But Agility and Dexterity decreases by 5.

 If these stats are unused the additional points will be added once the stat is active.

xp increases by 25%

..

.

I wouldn’t call myself a fitness junkie but the stat increase is rather fantastic. 20 stat points!

And the title doesn’t mention a limit to the number of people that can gain this…so this should definitely be shared for everyone’s sakes.

But a loss in agility and dexterity, it would be worth it for those with a 1 or 2 point per stat ratio in those stats.

Overall the title benefits so everyone should at least be aware of it.

Lost in my notifications I almost bump into someone.

Removing the notification I see everyone’s gathered around once more.

“Honey, you’re with me” That was…Charmine?

Looking down at the little elven being which I believed was a very cute man at the beginning, she motions for me to follow.

I wonder what we’ll be doing this hour?

Honey+Charmine-> Traptastic: Too many cute things when training

Walking with her, we quickly go towards the river and stop by the bank.

“Honey, could you hop in please?”

Raising an eyebrow I hop into the water, splashing about a little till I find my footing.

“Move a little back, a bit further, stop. Perfect, now stay there till I tell you to move”

“If you wouldn’t mine me asking but what am I to do here?”

“Absoultely nothing”

..

.

“Sounds good”

Just what has she got planned?

She looks thoughtfully at me for a few seconds before turning towards the cave and then back again towards me. “Honey, would it be alright if you died?”

Dying from doing absoultely nothing, well I guess she definitely has something off planned

“Preferably I’d like to live but if this will get us some food, dying will not be an issue”

“Good” She turns away once more and heads into the cave, disappearing from my sight.

*Rumble*

“HONEY GET READY TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING”

Ok?

Oh my; that’s a lot of fish coming my way.

For some reason the river’s now overflowing with a massive school of pale white fish with red bulbous eyes, all heading my way furiously.

I’ll trust Charmine’s got something good planned…maybe? I’m not too sure now, especially as the horde of fish are getting a lot closer.

Oh and also there’s some strange green water following them?

3…2...1……wait why haven’t I been blown away by the hordes of incoming fish?

They seem to have stopped a little infront of me…or well tried to as the one’s behind are still pushing the frontal ones towards m-

*RUMB-SPLASH*

..

.

Where’d the river go?

For some reason the river…collapsed.

The bank just fell away and obliterated the river…along with all the fish swimming in it.

Apparently a few fish got past me, but form the hordes that were incoming, it’s barely anything.

"Wow that worked much better than expected” Charmine gives herself a small clap as I continue to scan the man-made avalanche that imploded the river from a little infront of me to the waterfall, which is quite a distance must I add.

“I’m trying my hardest to understand how you did this but it’d be so much easier if you explained”

“Ah right, sorry I was just congratulating myself for such an easy way to catch food” She smiles innocently while stepping on top of the muddy earth, parts of fish sticking out, still flapping about as they slowly die.  “Well larva blood is poisonous to them mostly because they’ve got a weak immune system so when I poisened the main pool inside they headed fro the clean water which lead out to here and then I simply collapsed the bank on them”

She has been very productive in these past 6 or so hours...

“But how did you cause the bank to avanlanche itself to obvlion?”

“Oh I just had everyone I was working with dig out the sides, leaving pillars to earth here and there and I then just hoped that the pressure from the fish would be enough to take those out too, leading into this fantastic little trap”

“Fantastic indeed but not exactly re-usable”

She points towards the ashen piles that used to be a forest

“Good point” The place is already destroyed any more damage won’t do anyone else any harm.

“So are we just going to dig the fish out?”

“Yeah, and the cleaning will be a bit of a pain” Her face wrinkles in thought, probably trying to cook up a plan to clean them all.

If I remember correctly she was the one who used the barrels and crates to kill the rats in Daren’s cellar…quite ingenious.

“Well this is for the others so they should all have ot clean their own fish so don’t be too worried”

“Ay, let’s catch some because I’m really hungry after that”

Getting out of the lightly tinged green water, I begin picking fish out from the ground.

The rest of the hour is rather relaxed as we focus on picking the fish up.

I’ve reached 3 stacks of 999 and I’ve only dug out a large section. Hmm seems like we won’t have a problem with food for a long time.

Finding Joat using the map, I arrive to a bunch of rather excited people all sitting down and ready.

“We heard you got yourselves a big catch” Joat looks up at us hungrily

“I’ve only picked up just over 2000” Charmines shyly kneads her foot on the ground.

Everyone else just looks at her with the widest eyes.

“Charmine is the best” BoneCracker grunts her approval.

Everyone nods their approval at that statement.

“So I’m assuming you’ve done some work too right Honey?” Zzoid rounds on me.

“I’ve picked up around 3000”

..

.

“If we all eat like 10 fish a day it’d take us 5 days to eat them all!” Pinky Seniour exclaims excitedly. Seems like she likes fish…

“I smell more” Thrash sniffs the air. Ah yes, he probably can smell the rest of them that are still stuck in the ground.

“Yes we’ve got a quite a few left to grab from the river” Charmine talks to the ground.

She seems like quite a shy person, though her speech doesn’t mimic her actions?

I honestly don’t know anything about her except that she is very good at making large scale disasters…though Joat still has top score for that.

Or was it that slime guy, B0mber?

One of the two, weaponsmithing really felt like an eternity passing.

“Honey, stop daydreaming, can you start cooking for us” Joat snaps me out of my daydreams and I focus on the small fire that’s somehow been started.

My eyes meet Pinky Juniour’s and she just smiles. Ah so I guess I am the official cook of the party now then…

“Do we have any cooking utensils?”

..

.

*crunch*

“Thrash, how do they taste?” I spot him eating his second one raw already, so maybe they’re fine raw?

“I will survive” He gulps down the rest of his fish crunching the bones violently in his mouth.

“Well…everyone else, how about we have some bug meat instead since we can just put that on a stick” Joat turns away from Thrash with a rather bemused expression.

“I’ll try some” Pinky Juniour shrugs her shoulders and Zzoid immediately produces some bug meat on a stick for her.

“Mistress, bugs I recommend that you try some for it may be to your tastes”

“If you say it is alright Krudel then I’ll have a taste” Princess looks half excited, half unsure.

“I’ll do it too!” Pinky Seniour joins in and I notice they’re sitting next to eachother.

“We’ve had bugs before they’re actually quite tasty” Zzard and Zzand chime in together.

“I can confirm that some bugs do have a nice taste to them” I grab some bug meat off of Joat and skewer it on a stick.

“Firstly can I just say EW…but between bugs and raw, possibly poisonous/diseased fish, I don’t have much of a choice do I?” Baila gives Joat a rather unamused look, proabably because he had her give away all her berries…

“Snail is a bug right? So I guess bugs taste alright” Charmine looks at BoneCracker for some confirmation. The giant ogress just nods.

“Well technically they are molluscs so no, but I guess you can call them bugs” Zzoid seems to know some random things.

“The more I know, the less I care about snails being bugs or not. I’m just going to cook my meat and eat it” Joat rolls his eyes and starts roasting his bug meat over the fire.

Honestly don’t know why everyone’s cooking their bug meat because that ruins quite a lot of the flavour…but then again or a lot of people the thought of eating meat raw is quite  counter-intuitive.

Though looking round I do see that I am not the only one eating it raw; oddly enough both Charmine and BoneCracker are eating it raw as well as all of the Zz’s.

The rest of them are cooking it, but Joat stops midway and peers at me in thought.

 “So Honey why are you eating your meat raw?” Joat gives me an eyebrow.

“Because unless you’ve got some type of sauce to glaze it with, roasting will just kill the flavour”

He gives me a nod before biting into his half-cooked food. Giving a satisfactory nod he continues to eat.

Lunch was rather relaxed overall and after maybe an hour of it everyone seems to be ready to continue with partnering up.

I believe I’ve only got a few people left to bond with.

“Honey you’re with me!” One of the Zz trio calls over to me with a light voice.

Walking over to him, I get a pair of hands clasping round my right arm before I can get there.

“Sorry Zzand but I’m stealing this one” That voice, Baila?

Without another moment’s hesitation I’m dragged away from everyone.

“Well that was rather forceful Baila”

“Sorry but it was either you or Crazy Faker” She bows slightly in apology.

“Erm who is that?”

“Oh Pinky Juniour, sorry that’s her nickname” She waves it off while blushing slightly from embarassment.

“Well what should we do in this hour?”

“Try kill yourself without dying”

..

.

“Shouldn’t be too hard” I get to my knees and start bashing my head on the ground. This was how I learnt suicide first time round.

She copies me and we spend a good time bashing and recovering, feeling quite lightheaded through a lot of it.

“So why train this skill?” I ask her as we take another break.

“Well what makes this game special is that you can change your character so of course somehow there’s got to be a way to use that to my advantage”

“The most I can think of is dying and re-specing your character in a large scale battle?”

“Hmm it’s a bit early in the game to see what I can do with it, but I’m sure it’ll come in handy one day” She seems rather determined to make something out of what most would call a useless skill.

But then again I can somewhat accept her view, suiciding might become useful later on one way or the other.

The rest of the hour passes with ease and I gain the suicide skill.

Baila seems like a very relaxed person, a bit quiet though, well around me anyways.

Walking back to find the group, this time I’m succintly dragged away by the two younger of the lizard trio.

They seem to know where they’re going so I follow them to a decently living tree.

Both give me a curious look

..

.

“So what are we doing?”

“Is it alright if we climb the tree?”

“I…don’t see any problem with it?” Were they waiting for me to allow them?

Still staring at me with curious eyes, they climb the tree and find themselves a suitable branch.

Wobbily, they walk away from the trunk and try to balance on the branch, shaking like leaves.

The one with the higher pitched voice, Zzand I believe it was, starts trying to squat on the branch.

He succeeds in slipping but luckily catches himself on the branch.

“What are you trying to do?” I am mildly curious as to what skill they’re trying to learn

“Rail –Branch squats” Zzand calls out as he clambers back onto the branch.

“Fair enough” I shrug my shoulders and walk till I’m facing him.

He tries to squat and once again slips off, just catching himself.

“Don’t look at your feet because that’ll kill your balance” I tell him as she stands up shakily once more.

Peeking over to Zzard he seems to be doing slightly better, albeit he’s leaning slightly on the trunk for extra stability.

“Waah”

*Crack*

“Aaaaaaah!”

Oh my that wasn’t a nice landing.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’ve broken something though so I can’t move” His voice is higher than before…possibly since he landed in the splits.

“Little brother you alright?” Zzard calls out from the tree.

“I’m fine” His voice is quite squeaky.

Slowly helping Zzand out of the splits, I lie him down on the ground in the recovery position while he winces loudly from the dulling pain.

Sitting down next to him I begin watching Zzard, who does these ‘branch squats’ with a pinch of caution.

“Honey you’re really weird”

Where did that decision come from?

“There are many eccentric individuals here but I don’t consider myself one of them” I have met quite a few rather interesting people here.

“But you were super chill with us doing something really dangerous. Everyone else told us to stop or be more careful, but you just said that it’s fine”

“Well you’re up there for a reason right?”

“Yeah we want to learn parkour!” Zzard answers excitedly from up above.

“So then what’s wrong with you trying to learn? I you’ve got a reason to do it, do it”

“But it’s dangerous isn’t it?”

“I’ve been through a lot more dangerous things today, but there was a reason to do all that so I went through with it”

“Wow you really are weird”

“Hmm, I believe someone who doesn’t try do what they want is weird”

“But big brother Zzoid told us not to”

“And he’s the responsible one!” Zzard adds from the tree.

“Oh no I don’t want to be weird!” Zzand cries to the air

“But little brother, Zzoid is weird”

“…I want to be weird! But not like big brother! But I want to do what I want. Honey what do I do?” Zzand frantically spurts out his thoughts, his hands waving chaotically while still lying on the floor.

“You still sleep with your teddy”

“FUNKY MONKEY IS NOT A TEDDY! HE’S A MONKEY!”

“HE’S A SHEEP”

“NO, LIES, HE’S ALWAYS BEEN A MONKEY”

“SHEEP”

“MONKEY”

“BAAA”

“MONKEY SOUNDS!!”

..

.

“FUNKY MONKEY IS A MONKEY ZZARD, ZZAND SAY IT WITH ME…UAA-A-AA-AA” Zzoid suddenly sprints into my field of vision, stopping with a skid and pantling like a dog.

“UAA-A-A-A-AA”

“GOOD, now both of you stop fighting and I’ve got to GOAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

“COME-” *HUFF* “-BACK HERE! I NEED YOUR SCALES FOR MY SPIKE TRAP!” A sweat soaked Charmine runs past us, hair disheveled and an excited look in her eyes.

Making a spike trap fom lizard scales, they seem to be using their time together well.

“See, she isn’t weird because she’s trying to do what she wants”

“…uhuh…” Both stare at me for a long time.

“Now how about I try these branch squats out with you” I stand up and start climbing the tree, leaving Zzand lying on the floor in the recovery position.

*creak*

Hmm I am a bit bigger than them so this branch might break…

Balaaance and squat

..

.

Huh, wasn’t too bad.

“This isn’t fair” Zzand crawls to the tree “how can you do it so easily. Tell me, tell meeeeee” He begins scraping the base of the trunk like a cat, trying to climb without working legs.

“I’ve just got really good balance” Walked over a lot of natural ‘brigdes’ in my life, fell off one too…

“No fairrrr” Zzand whines while clawing and Zzard climbs down the other side, to help give his little brother a push.

They seem to be quite close, brothers in real life would be an obvious assumption.

Though Zzand still can’t do anything once he’s up here if he doesn’t have working legs.

“Come on little brother climb!”

“I’m climbing!”

“No I’m just pushing you”

“Brother I can do it, let me climb”

“Alright”

“Aah!”

*thunk*

“Brother why’d you let go?!”

“You told me you could climb” He sticks his tongue out with a giggle

“Wahh” Zzand starts lightly beating his fists on Zzard’s legs in child-like anger while Zzard mocks him harmlessly.

“Alright I climbed it!” Zzand  holds the thick trunk while waving a single happy fist in the air.

“Woo little brother!” Zzard climbs up after him and gives him a high five, almost knocking them off.

“Now let’s do branch squats!” Both chime in unison.

Everyone meetup!

“Right you two, it was fun but we’ve got to meet the rest of the group”

“Thanks for letting us do it!” Zzand drop from a low branch safely onto the ground

 “Yes!” Zzard follows suit.

I climb down because I do not like jumping and quickly follow them as they rush towards Joat supposedly is.

..

.

“She won…”

..

.

“Pff-BWAHAHAHAHA” Joat collapses in a fit of laughter, choking on the air as he tries to breathe mid-laughter.

“Seems like they had some real skinship” Baila comments offhandly, not even bothering to conceal her smile.

Joat’s face goes red and then purple from lack of oxygen, not even able to produce noise but tears still spring from his eyes in pure joy.

“…Zzoid-”

“MY LOLI-BABA DON’T BESMIRCH YOUR EYES ON ME”

“-You’re rather…squidgy”

“AHHH” Zzoid runs behind me hiding his de-scaled body from Pinky Juniour’s vision.

Well seems like Charmine finally caught up…somehow.

And Joat has passed out…as Pinky Seniour is frantically by his side freaking out…

“I’ve got this” I call out to her as she begins pumping his chest wrongly.

She gives me a possessive look but for a second, before moving away.

Right pumping and now breathing and more pumping, more breathing and third time lucky

..

.

“Why does my mouth taste like slightly sweet ash?”

“I think you’d find the taste to be honey” Zzoid calls out from behind Thrash

..

.

Joat opens his eyes, glances at me and then at Zzoid

“Well played sir…well played” He stands up giving me a nod and wiping his mouth “So do seriously none of you lovely ladies know cpr?”

“We just didn’t want to get your cooties”

“Oh Baila you will be getting my cooties later”

“Why Joat not in front of the children”

“I know a good cave, wink wink nudge nudge”

“Alright you two, keep it PG” Pinky Juniour gives them a wink.

Standing up, Joat brushes some ash off of him “Right…Honey shall we continue our bonding?” He laughs while shaking his head in self-disappointment.

Following him away from the chuckles of the group we head into the distance.

Swinging round all jokeyness has left his face; all left is a serious demeanour.

“I’m so empty”

“Do you need some more food?”

“Not what I mean, but thanks. The sustenance to fill me is something completely different: Skills. I need more, much much more”

“Well how about we start with the skills you know but haven’t gotten”

“Alchemy, bite, catch, crawling, commanding shout, dodge, fire resistance, frenzy, grapple, holding back, headbutt, herbalism, kick mastery, lucky roll, leatherworking, mana adept, Monster identification, mining, pain tolerance, physical resistance, stomp,  spitful taunt, suicide, throw, sacrifice, tracking, unarmed mastery and that should be it for skills but I haven’t learnt many stats yet; I’ve still got Luck, Endurance, Mana, Intelligence, Wisdom, Stamina and Brutality and I’ve only got 2 hours to do this SO LET’S BEGIN!”

..

.

What has he been doing in these past hours to only get the basic physical skills?

“And you Honey, will help me get as many of these as we can”

Joat is a very…comfortable person.

“I GOT 10 SKILLS!” Screaming with a mouth full of his own blood he stands back up shakily. “hehehahahahHAHAHAH”

He’s very comfortable with throwing away all human morals to do what he wants. Good on him not being constrained bu

But getting 10 skills in slightly under 30 minutes is rather amazing…genious even.

It was rather surreal to see him headbutt the ground and crawl forward using his head before biting his shoulder enough to draw blood at first and whole chunks by the end while stomping himself in the foot with a punch to the face combined.

“Don’t stop now, we’re barely a third of the way there”

..

.

*dingdingdingdingding-*

Wincing from the pain, I slowly stand up

“swallow”

He must have a reason to command me so I swallow the small chunk of shoulder skin…

*ding*

Congratulations! You have learnt the skill: Cannabalize

DARK SKILL: Cannabalize, Beginner [lv1], (active)

Cannibalism is a dark practice hated by most societies and self-cannabalism is something rather unheard of except in certain cults.

When used:

Fills hunger bar 100 hp per satiety point.

For using the skill on yourself you have learnt the Self-Cannabalize sub-skill:

SUB-SKILL: Self-Cannabalize (active)

When used on self:

Fills hunger bar

Lose 10 Health temporarily for every 1 satiety gain.

Cost: None/Health, Duration: instantaneous, Cooldown: None

xp increases by 10%

WARNING! If any NPC on the Non-Dark alignment catches you using a Dark Skill, relationships will deteriorate and action may even be brought against you!

..

.

So the game even has things like this. Well at least in the game I shouldn’t have to use this ever.

Congratulations! Through Learning a Dark Skill you have discovered an Exquisite Stat:

EXQUISITE STAT: Darkness

Points in Darkness will increase your aura of darkness

Darkness has been forcefully added and begins at 1

Xp increases by 20%

Aura of Darkness what is that?

AURA: Aura of Darkness, beginner [lv1] (Aura)

You have a subtle Dark aura which surrounds you:

Beings that are able to detect your aura will find it to be Evil

Cost: none, Duration: Permanent, Cooldown: None

xp increase by 15%

That is a bit drastic to be called Evil for a necessary survival instinct…

Your alignment has turned into Slightly Evil

..

.

“Well that had quite the drastic effect…” Thank you for saying my thoughts Joat. “But hey, 45% xp is delicious” He isn’t wrong there. “Right let us continue and maybe we should begin looking for a light skill”

“Yes I’m not sure being Slightly Evil is a good thing” I don’t imagine any of the NPC’s we’ve met will like us if we count as evil.

I don’t think Joat heard me, but oh well he’s busy chucking ash into the air and covering himself with it?

He is a rather eccentric person

“Alright everyone, do you feel like we’re a better team now!?” Joat blackened head to toe asks our group with a shining white smile.

“I will run with this pack”

*Grunt*

“This will suffice I suppose”

“I’m so excited and you Pinky!?”

“YES”

“I feel like I’m going to watch a lot of amusing things happen with this lot” PJ chuckles.

“Teacher we’re ready to do something!”

“I’m so bored too Big Brother!”

“I’d prefer it it was just the beautiful lolitastic angel called Pinky Juniour and I, but I guess you can join us on our romantic adventures”

“You all worked really hard for me” Charmine gives an innocent smile while twiddling a blue scale non-chalantly in her hand.

“The more people the more human shielding between Joat’s cooties and me”

“Oh Baila doesn’t matter how amny people you throw at me I’ll always have some left for you…anyways Honey do you want to roll with us?”

“Hmm...You are all quite unique in your own way, so yes if you’ll have me I’d gladly ‘roll with you’”

“RIGHT SQUAD, LET’S GO FEED THE SLAVES THAT WILL GATHER THOSE DELICIOUS SKILLS FOR ME!”