When the oppressive summer sun hangs high in the sky, all those who dwell on the ground lay low in shade. Under trees, in caves, or even in the water. No one would be so foolish as to just go out, in full clothing, out in this muggy heat reminiscent of a sauna from the infernal pits of Hell.
Of course, this is just what one man did. In his peasant rags, with a hoe in his hands, he patrolled his crop field, which had been soundly plowed, sowed with seed, and irrigated. Left to grow for a few months, it bore fruit- in the form of unfinished tall stalks of wheat.
This hoe was thus not for plowing the field per se. It was for performing the one action that bound all life on this planet together.
Violence.
Specifically, violence towards pests. Crows, rats, centipedes, and so on and so forth. Many a time he reduced their HP to 0 in a single attack, but he gained nothing from it. For their level was 0, and so was the XP they gave out.
It was extremely apparent that he would never level up. Thirty years ago, he was born at level 1, and stayed so since. He would stay at that level forever.
.
.
.
If he willed it.
But he did not. The gears in his heart turned, and soon, he desired more. More power. For what purpose? He did not know. All he knew is that he wanted to become strong. The strongest.
The peak of strength. The hundredth level of existence. There existed no higher level.
He was all excited. He gripped his hoe tighter than ever before and ran off from the cropfield into the dense forest not too far away. He ran past countless pillars of wood and leaf before stumbling into the first enemy which just so happens to be a wolf.
Wolves. The one thing he hates. Wolves are nasty creatures that dwell on the ground. This one happens to be the same level as him. Good.
He smashed the tip of the hoe into the wolf’s skull before it even knew what was going on. Thankfully, due to the bizarre ENTIRELY ORDINARY LAWS OF THIS UNIVERSE THANK YOU, the wolf only took 5 out of 15 HP damage instead of keeling over instantly. The canine beast snarled and hissed as it reared into attacking position.
SNEAK ATTACK
BATTLE BEGUN
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As the message broadcasted itself in the head of the man, the wolf swipes with its claws, tearing apart the man’s linen shirt with ease and revealing his heavily muscled body. The GLISTENING of the SUN on that man’s pecs blinds the wolf with its AWESOME MIGHT.
The wolf’s accuracy is cut in half. With a torn shirt and a fully replenished will to fight, the man raises his hoe high and smacks the wolf right on the head once more. Another 5 HP gone.
The wolf got desperate. It leapt around the man with a swiftness he had only imagined of rabbits. To his side, then to his front, then to his other side, then to his back, and all over again. The man could not keep track.
Indeed, the animal was exploiting the combat mechanics of this world far better than the man could imagine, despite its far inferior intelligence. Soon, the CONFUSION status effect would apply to the man at any point, and then he would be easy pickings for the canine.
It was a lone wolf, yes. But it was only a lone wolf due to its shortcomings with its clan. Mom and Dad had kicked this wolf out due to its ineptness at hunting. So, from every day, this wolf seeks to improve, to grow, to ascend like an eagle into the air. And the first major step on that journey would be to rip the wings from the man.
Unfortunately for the wolf, its animal mind could not understand one thing. One simple peculiarity.
The man was too much of a dumbass to be confused. His brain, a fortress of simplicity, rejected confusion like a sieve blocks water. Of course, it went without saying that it was a small and quite insignificant fortress- although that worked to its advantages.
With a single hit on his part, the wolf explodes into white particles like that of dust, which soon flow rapidly towards and into the body of the farmer.
The only thing left of the wolf is three gold coins. Wolves must have gold coins in them, thinks the man, noticing the lack of fur, bones, teeth, or flesh. That’s how they live. Huh. Must be for going to Wolf-Mart.
A ping in the man’s brain goes off. ‘LEVEL UP!’ says an imaginary voice that exists only in his thoughts.
Then, he sees it, despite it not being a physical object. His character sheet. It looks blue, with white text denoting strange stats like his Might, Speed, Magic, and…Handsomeness?
Yes, handsomeness. Of all the stats to pick, they choose that one.
Hm…while his eyes drift on the imaginary screen in front of him, he sees something at the very bottom of this sheet.
A bar noting that he has 10 points and can deposit them wherever he wants. Well, looking at things, he has 5 Might, 3 Speed, 1 Magic, and 4 Handsomeness. For his simple mind, the choice is easy.
Put everything into might.
HP: 20/20
Might: 15
Speed: 3
Magic: 1
Handsomeness: 4
Level: 2
XP: 0/30
30? That was how much XP he needed to get? Outstanding. That doesn’t seem too hard. He could just find more wolv-
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HUSBAND!” screeches a shrill voice that is entirely too familiar to him. He jerks his head around as fast as it can, and sees her.
His wife. The only being on this planet that he honestly fears. She is a tiny woman, reaching only to his hip, but she has wings like him (even if they’re weird and fleshy and not feathery like his) and the same je neigh sai quois he had.
Je neigh sai quois.
Je NEIGH sai quois.
Why can’t he say NEIGH? It must be the influence of those villainous horselords. Drat! He must continue talking to his wife.
“Sorry wife.” he said, his voice monotone.
“GUY DUDEMAN!” his wife shouted at the top of her lungs, shaking the entire forest to its core. “MY NAME IS GIRL DUDETTEWOMAN, AND I AM YOUR WIFE. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT NAME!”
“Sorry Girl Dudettewoman.” he corrects himself. “I was going to get to level 100.”
“THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE DOING? SURE, FUCK IT, WHY NOT. I WILL GET TO LEVEL 100 WITH YOU.”
Everything’s better with your wife. This is a net bonus, yes!
NEW PARTY MEMBER GAINED