It hurts so much… This is why I avoided the death route to get here! It felt like being dissected alive by clumsy scientists with the lab placed on a moving roller coaster.

That was like a near death experience but hey, I'm alive!

“Fuck you! You nearly died, moron! Stupid! Idiot”

A familiar voice jolted my senses awake. Oh no, Lady Rethah sounds angry. I could practically feel the heat of her anger rolling in from her general direction.

An unfamiliar wooden ceiling greets me as I opened my eyes from my agonizing sleep.

“What did you say?! I thought you were joking about the don't die part!” Lady Rethah yelled.

I tried to rise but invisible needles stung the rest of my body besides the face. Is this sleep paralysis?

“Shut up and stop moving! I had to do everything I got just to stop your ethereal sprite body from disintegrating, so don’t you start undoing all my hard work!”

… So that was a near death experience…

“Never mind that. I'm here to guide you, and I can hear your loud thoughts so you don't have to speak loudly; you'll sound crazy if you did so publicly.”

Okay... So, what exactly happened to me?

“I had to place human flesh on your fading ethereal body while gluing them together. It was hard because your body kept changing!”

It's hard to imagine… But that has to be a grotesque scene, huh. Was it gross?

“I think I just made you into a new race by doing that weird thing.”

Seriously?That sounds … interesting... But putting that aside, why would you wanna guide me?

“It should be obvious! Being a deity gets boring and sleeping is too, so I used to talk to my followers about mortal affairs whenever I'm free. But now, Ain’he, only you are my follower.”

Geez, that sounds so lonely… no wonder she’s so irritable all the time.

So now, can you tell me what's my body’s condition? I can't really see my body when I’m paralyzed like this.

“You're not in my divine realm anymore, Ain’he, so I can't appraise you just like that. There's an unused marble ID there, you should probably search for it after your condition wears off.”

“ID? That exists here?”

“Yes, identification cards serve as personal self-appraisal devices here. It shows the abilities of the user, but don't worry, people still need permission if they want to know anything that's on cards.”

Wow… That's handy but since I'm planning a pacifist run, I think I won't get to use it that much.

Oh, I can move now…

My slim hand entered my view as I tested my movements.

“No way! A human shouldn't be able to- ah, I forgot you are now something else…” Rethath muttered.

I think she's getting surprised too much. I should probably get up now that I can move, but I think my astonishment topples hers.

I mean, I just lost like a few hundred pounds for free without doing anything! Even though, I kind of hate the strange feeling of not being able to clench my fists tightly, being free of my excess baggage feels nice!

I think there's a line for situations like this…

Wanna know the secret of losing a hundred pounds in a day?

“Who are you talking to? Hurry up and sort yourself out!”

Calm yourself, woman! Don't you have better things to do?

“For the sake of you, my follower, I shall ignore that statement you just made…”

Oops… I can feel deep vengeance from her voice.

I slowly rose to sit on whatever I'm laying down on this entire time. Hey, it's a bed!

I looked down at my body, expecting the thick fatty layers but there was none, thank god!

But I think having no abs is kinda disappointing but who cares, I'm a changed man!

I slowly lift the blanket to see my little elephant between my legs but unfortunately, he still hasn't grown… He remained a calf all this time, why didn't you grow???

It seems that the loincloth has loosened so I have to re-adjust it to fit my new waist size.

After the preparations I'm ready to go on a treasure hunt for an ID.

“If I remember correctly, my previous Pope should've left it next to the summoning bed.”

Thank you. Now, my treasure hunt is ruined…

I turned my head to the left and find a marble-like stone card on top of a bedside table.

I picked it up but nothing happened.

So, what now?

“You have to focus on-”

That's cliched as fuck but I focused on the white stone card in my hands while I closed my eyes. I kept concentrating for a few minutes until-

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

“Hey, you got connected to it. Why did you wait 15 minutes?”

Oh, I felt nothing so I thought I have to concentrate more.

Opening my eyes, I can see a status screen on the card like it's a phone displaying a mobile game character’s stats.

Strangely enough, I seem to understand the meaning and scaling of each stat. C is average, B is it's strong while B is weak. What worries me is that I saw an E+ stat, it basically means it's an attribute I can barely use.

¤Menu

«General»

Ain’he - Hearth Mansprite, Maid Saint Lv 1

Age: 0

Gender: Male

Ability:

* STR. E

* DEX. C+

* CON. D+

* INT. C-

* WIS. C+

* CHA. B-

* MAG. A-

Skills:

* P. Maid’s Soul

* R. Hearthflame

* C. Maidcrafts

“My magic stat is broken… What the hell. I'm a maid, right?”

“C’mon! Show me!”

I unconsciously tapped the menu button and selected the privacy tab and authorized Lady Rethah to view my status.

“Oh… It's because you're a Sprite. Since they are ethereal spirits in the material plane, they have absolute affinity to whatever they're aligned with and they have a racial magic skill for that.”

Then, Sprites are OP as mages.

“They have glaring flaws too, they can't learn any magic unrelated to their affinity, they have heavily penalized stats besides charisma and magic. They are also locked from any magic class besides their racial exclusives.”

Why are you speaking to me like it's a game?

“Anything we say is translated automatically. I'm speaking about their general strength and you're probably hearing about their numbers.”

Suddenly, my stomach roared.

Now that I think of it, I still haven't eaten.

“You can use the Sanctuary’s kitchen to cook. It should be preserved perfectly with magic.”

I tried to stand up beside the bed but I staggered as my thin legs can't handle my weight. Fortunately, I leaned on the smooth stone wall nearby so that I won't fall down. You can feel the effect of E+ strength.

My body strangely feels breezy…

“You're naked…”

… Oh…

After getting used to my weight, my eyes were drawn to the closet at the corner of the room.

I think I should dress up first. I walked towards it while leaning on the wall for support.

I think I should've followed her instructions… It even hurts to walk on this form.

“There's a maid uniform inside that closet. You better equip it.”

Why would I wear that thing? I'm a guy!

“Being on maid class, you have affinity for maid uniforms. If you equip something you have affinity, you'll get bonuses like they get lighter and more effective.”

It's just clothing. Who cares. I have my pride!

“Most clothes here are heavy for your body so picking the lightest one should reduce the burden you're currently experiencing.”

I changed my mind.

I stepped in front of the closet, steeled with resolve to equip this forbidden armor called maid uniform.

I pulled the door lightly but it didn't budge so I yanked it hard with all my strength.

The creaky door opened and I clumsily fell from the excess force I used.

Ouch! Life must be on hard mode… I must persevere.

“Are you alright, Ain’he?”

Yeah, I think.

After a few awkward attempts, I got back to my feet as I find the maid. My butt still hurts.

“The blouse is on the right most part-”

The passing moments were a blur, I followed Lady Rethah’s instructions as my body grew heavier from the clothes.

I put on the blouse first then a better loincloth. After that, I struggled to wear a plain black dress that weighed a ton.

Shit… Why didn't it get lighter?

“Just a little more, you need to tie that white apron on the leftmost part and you’ll feel the blessing.”

I grabbed the white apron while gritting my teeth. The thing felt like I was lifting that katana back from my uncle’s house.

I quickly put it on through the neck before my legs fell in exhaustion.

I painfully rolled my body before tying the knot on the back.

Then after that, the iron-heavy clothes returned to normal and strangely enough my body feels lighter too.

I effortlessly stood up as my mind froze in wonder.

“I survived…”

I whispered right before my stomach screamed for food.

I quickly ran through the door before turning left.

“Continue down the hallway until a double door appears on the right. That's the kitchen.”

I followed her instructions and got through the door to see a medieval kitchen in its full glory.

I looked around the shelves and thank god they are translated already.

I grabbed a bottle of cooking oil and two eggs.

I placed them on a counter opposite from what looks like a stove.

I looked at the stove and opened a weird door.

Oh, I have to light up the coal inside…

“You can use your Hearthflame skill for that.”

I fished my card from my pocket and select the Skill tab from the Menu.

¤Menu

Skills:

Personal. Maid’s Soul

Your soul is perfectly attuned with the maid blessing that it changes your body. Grants great bonuses on maid affinities and skills.

Racial. Hearthflame

Casting Stat: Mag.

Allows you to create a harmless flame with the controllable burn property that can warm or purify your home and cook too. Assigning activation triggers for macros will skip casting phase. (Considered as a maid skill)

[Macro]

Class. Maidcrafts

AP: 12

Grants access to the maid Nexus to learn any related skill. Access points depends on the maid class level and contribution to the Nexus.

[Access]

I tapped the macro button and assigned a tiny flame on my left hand’s index finger if I snap it.

Clack.

A small flame appears before I light up the stove. I closed the stove door.

“You can adjust the temperature too!”

I know. I'm increasing it already.

I focused my mind into the flame, commanding it to get hotter.

I swiped a pan nearby as I poured oil into it. I waited until the oil began evaporating before cracking the eggs. They sizzled as they released an hunger-inducing scent.

Oh man… I didn't add any salt because I was too hungry to think of spices.

On the counter behind me, I opened the drawers to find a spatula to scoop off the eggs once they're cooked.

Once the eggs have fully solidified, I placed them on a dish from a nearby cabinet.

Is there bread around here?

“There's plain ones on the same shelf you took the eggs from.”

I didn't notice them though…

It took much effort to find the naturally hidden bread but it was worth it for it was shaped like a hamburger bun. I mean why did it have to be next to the brown ingredients and it’s texture!!! It looked like a big fucking potato for me.

I sliced the bread in halves and placed the eggs inside.

In my sweet victory, I took a bite while honoring my goddess with a small mental prayer.

To think that my first day in another world would make me struggle so hard… This world sure is hardcore, I shouldn't dabble in combat in the future…