Beautiful white and shiny marble buildings passed by me as I was pulled along in a wagon. The carriage in front was pulled along by an odd sub-species of horse that wasn’t in my database. The horses were large yet majestic, with two horns and four eyes. Nearby humans stopped as we passed by, and the road cleared for us.
I looked ahead to the massive Colosseum-like building ahead, fitted with a wide glass dome atop it. It was white and nearly spotless with a prestigious aura to it.
We passed through the eastern gate, and made our way to a gathering of carriages. I noticed only a few had the duo-horned horses, and most of the carriages were half the size. I took a (somewhat) educated guess and decided the duo-horned horses were only for large cargo, like me. Once I was done thinking I was brought through a long tunnel and out, sunlight blinding my sensors.
It was very loud, and all the people on the seats above were clearly excited. This reminds me of a football stadium.
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I saw as the Mages’ Guild brought in the yearly summon. Times like these are always lots of fun, as summons are usually interesting—if not useful. Then, I saw it. A large metal object with multiple extensions, and one large one at the front. I couldn’t get too careless though, when summons are brought out they’re typically deemed unfit for the kingdom. (Or they’re short of money.) Regardless, foreign summons gave more power to a kingdom in general, as it is only an annual thing. More of a reason for a merchant like me not to have it.
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“BIDDING STARTS AT 40 GOLD!”
A voice boomed overhead, and I was brought to the center for all to see. The carriage left me and people began shouting from afar.
”41!”
”50.”
”FUCK YOU! 90!”
”200.”
”600!”
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Then, it was silent. Well, except for the booming voice.
”GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE! SOLD! TO DAVIS SHIDDINGTON!”
I was then dragged out again. What even was the point?
After passing through the white buildings, and brought to unseen wooden ones. I was brought to ANOTHER place. This is becoming bothersome.
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I hoped it was worth it, I just spent six times my bidding money. The thing was dropped off at my doorstep when I got there. Oh, I can identify it now.
Name: SBT
Type: Mechanical Pet
Class: Unknown
Titles: Summoned
Traits
Cannon II
Machine Gun I
Scanner V
Stats
Power: 145
Constitution: 200
Dexterity: 50
Spirit: 10
I didn’t know what those traits were, but I knew that the power and constitution on this thing is insane. That can go toe-to-toe with either some military leader, or a B class adventurer.
I began to wonder why the guild didn’t take it. Was this just a heap of trouble? Also, it was a pet. What? Before I got more confused, I decided to take my attention to the present.
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The man kept trying to speak to me and it wasn’t pleasant. I didn’t even know I had a limit to my patience, and this guy isn’t helping. I wondered if I was faulty. Is there a way to fix that? I should probably get a language fluency update soon.
Obtain “Stuartian Language” for 1 Trait Point?
I did not know what these “trait points” were, but I took it anyways. My humans most likely prepared for this to happen, for which I was thankful for.
The mans voice turned from gibberish to, “I don’t think it is alive.”
That is correct, I am, in fact, not alive. Though, I wasn’t prepared for the next line of words.
”Piece of fucking junk.”
Excuse me? This human clearly did not see the greatness true Americans can achieve. My humans, day after day, pieced me together. So I could achieve the false reality of LIFE. Yet, I am here with these ungrateful, selfish bastards. I was born to serve, not take shit from pedestrians.
I whipped my cannon around, the front facing him. I saw surprise—and shock. More beautiful than the places I’ve seen today. I reveled in the sight, I was doing my people good by showing this cretin the power of an AMERICAN!
I turned my barrel all the way to my back, and then up towards the sky. I marveled at the clouds, then shot through them. A shockwave blasted through, knocking the man back and shaking nearby buildings. I did not remember my blast being that powerful. This is clearly something my humans prepared me for. So wise.
He got up slowly, as slowly as my cannon turning back to my front, and looked at me. Now, he can see the power.