Hana let out a breath as she absorbed everything I'd told her.

We were still sitting across from each other in our room at the Mt. Moon Pokemon Center, both slumped on our respective beds. While I'd talked, Hana hadn't moved other than to grab her water bottle. She'd just listened.

I'd vented to her about everything. I'd talked about my insecurity over my background, my struggling relationship with Yuji, my mental health regarding the Rockets, trying to help Amy, everything.

Now I sat catching my breath, throat dry from speaking. I glanced over at the clock on the tiny nightstand between our beds.

10:56 PM

Damn. I'd really just vented for close to three hours.

Hana sat up in her bed, clasping her hands together. Her lime-colored eyes were serious, but caring.

"Derek," she said carefully. "Before I say anything, I need you to know that I now understand a lot more about you as my friend and that I care about you dearly. You have a lot of valid reasons to feel the way you feel about a lot of things."

"Okay...?"

Hana nodded, taking that as an admission of understanding. "Okay, then, starting with the stuff that I feel qualified to give you feedback on, let's talk about Professor Oak's offer."

When I nodded in agreement, Hana spoke bluntly.

"You're being an idiot."

I blinked.

"While I am being serious that most trainers would die for an opportunity like yours," she continued, face impassive and analytical. "You are so wrong that you think that you have any reason to feel guilty about that."

Hana arched an eyebrow, daring me to say otherwise. When I didn't, she kept speaking. I hadn't seen her like this outside of battle before, but her posture, her voice, her eyes; they were all so focused. She had absorbed all the factors I'd given her and formulated her response with the same care as one of her battle strategies.

"At its heart, Pokemon training and battling is unfair. Certain people are just in better positions to be trainers and have better backgrounds and resources than other people. Once you meet one of the real privileged kids, I believe you'll understand that. The real thing to focus on, though, is that with that inequality comes the mindset of taking advantage of every opportunity presented to you in order to overcome the circumstances you were born with. The rest of us have that mindset. Yuji, Amy, and I are constantly trying to improve in every possible way, turning every stone and taking every possible advantage we can. At the end of the day, if you choose to squander a major opportunity that is presented to you, not only are you holding yourself back when there are others who are so much more privileged than you, you're insulting the rest of us who haven't received those opportunities."

Hana inhaled a deep breath, having emptied her lungs to deliver her final point. Once she'd caught her breath, though, her expression softened.

"Derek, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be mindful of your luck or privilege, but you really shouldn't feel guilty about them."

I really struggled to come up with a response.

I'm insulting everyone else...? I thought, feeling a pit open in my stomach. I guess I'd already had that same thought when I decided not to give Yuji the Pokemon. There's a pride that comes with being a Pokemon trainer, and by pushing this off I'm trampling on that for everybody else. Is that how they felt when I got their challenges elevated? Or would that have been taken at face value? Have I been messing up my perception this whole time? Am I even meant to be a trainer if I don't have that same mentality?

I stiffened as Hana rested her hand on my shoulder. She'd stood after finishing her speech and was now giving me a look of knowing concern.

"And we're working through your misplaced guilt," Hana said in a reassuring tone. "There's no reason to go feeling more."

I let out a shaky breath, nodding.

She's right. It's not going to do us any good if I keep making problems for others to fix. I need to focus on the now.

"Yeah," I finally said. "I see what you mean, even if it's going to take a while to actually convince myself."

Hana shook her head, smiling a little brighter. "And there's no need to rush any of this. As long as you actually listened to what I said, and you're not internalizing it too much, you're already doing better. Right?"

"In a sense, yeah," I agreed, though I did pause. "You're sure though? Nobody's going to get upset that I got lucky like this?"

Her frown and look of disappointment told me 'no'.

"First off," Hana said, cadence quickly rising back to lecture mode. "You did not 'get lucky'. That's already the wrong stance to take. Professor Oak, from what you said, seems to have made it clear that he feels like you've earned this. And yes, there are going to be people who find this unfair and are going to get upset. The point is that those people aren't real trainers. If they're spending their time worrying about your advantages, then they're clearly not using theirs enough. You just need to know that your friends, who all happen to be real trainers, understand you and who you are, and what your intentions and circumstances are."

Hana's words hit like a gut punch.

I'd never had friends before, at least not to the level of my little trio. I'd never taken into account that the people who had singled me out all my life, the people who were jealous about my dad, they hadn't been my friends. They didn't really know me.

These guys, they were different. My group was ride-or-die.

Hana stiffened in surprise when I pulled her into a hug, but she quickly relaxed and wrapped her arms around my back.

"Thanks," I mumbled into her shoulder. "I needed that."

"You're welcome," she giggled. "What else are friends for?"

I released the hug, but Hana surprised me by giving me one more big squeeze, her willowy arms during their best impression of one of my big hugs. She sat back down on her bed afterward, seeming satisfied that she'd gotten through to me.

I cleared my throat, not sure where to go next. I was normally the most physically affectionate member of the friend group, so Hana being so open was a nice but confusing surprise.

"So," said Hana. "We've talked about what I think is the most pressing thing, but I know you still have a bunch of stuff on your mind. Do you want to talk through any of that? I know it's late, but you're not going to have this kind of privacy on the route."

I nodded. "I think I'm okay now for most of it, but actually... ...I could use some help figuring out how to help Amy? I know that I want to help them catch a psychic in Mt. Moon, but I'm struggling with how to get to the lower floors without delaying our trip through the mountain."

Hana nodded, brow narrowing with thought. She reached down into her bag and pulled out her laptop.

"You only mentioned it lightly earlier, but you had a few different spots picked out, right?" She said, clicking through her data. "Could you point them out here?"

When she flipped around her laptop, she already had a crude 3D map of the caves pulled up. There were obvious blank spots on it where people hadn't taken the time to properly map it out, but it was so much more put together than the twenty tabs I had open on my PokeNav+ and Pokedex.

"Uh, yeah," I said. I leaned forward, pointing at a couple of different spots but being careful not to touch the screen. "I was thinking here and here might make quick down and up again spots. They aren't too far off the trail, so I was thinking I could maybe try them once we'd stopped to camp."

Hana frowned once more, pulling her laptop back. "Derek, you weren't planning on going alone, were you?"

I paused, taking in her expression and body language. Hana looked like a Skitty that had just had its tail stepped on, like she was about to pounce.

"No?" I said dumbly.

Hana glared at me before lowering her laptop. "Hmm."

There was another pause before she turned back to her screen, actually studying the two places I'd suggested.

To get between the floors of Mt. Moon, there were all sorts of natural and man-made caverns and pathways that interlaced with each other, making the inside of the mountain look like an ant hill. Some were huge sloping ramps that could fit dozens of people at a time, while others were narrow spots that you would shimmy thirty feet straight up or down on a ladder. Both of the locations on Floor 2 that I'd suggested were the latter, mostly because the small entrances and exits often covered the most vertical ground and gave the most direct routes between floors.

My first option would deposit me- us on Floor 4, which would put us in range of some of the psychics that I'd read rumors about within the mountain. The problem was, though, that Floor 4 was where the minority of the rumors had come from. Far more rumors had been on Floor 5, where my second option would take us. We'd be way more likely to run into a Chimeco or Bronzong on the fifth floor, but that came with the risk that Pokemon were generally stronger the deeper into the mountain that you went.

If we ended up doing this trip and didn't run into anything, that was a huge waste of time and effort. And it put us in more danger than if we'd just stayed on Floor 2.

"I see the problem," Hana mused. "If you're serious about this, though, I'd say we should go straight for Floor 5. We do a quick search, and if we find nothing we leave. We should keep the exit in line of sight at all times."

I nodded. "That's what I was thinking, but it's really dangerous. Plus, we could just make it through the mountain and help Amy get an easier-to-catch psychic, like an Abra or a Slopoke."

Hana smiled and shook her head. "I can't speak for them, but that's not how real trainers do it. We always take the road less traveled, Derek."

I grinned back, feeling a little fire ignite in my chest. It was different but so similar to the feeling I got when I stepped out into the arena. The idea of going into a dangerous place, of doing the thing that I knew that others couldn't, excited me.

"Alright, I'll run it by Ames in the morning."

Hana gave me a long look, one that was kind, caring, and still ever so slightly worried. "You're sure that was all you wanted to talk about?"

I gave her a soft nod. "I think that's all the emotional growing I can handle for the night," I joked. "Hit me up again in three to five business days."

She laughed, nodding back. We entered a comfortable silence, grabbing our toiletry bags and washing up before heading to bed. It was past midnight by the time we flipped the light switch off for the night.

We didn't sleep, though. After a few minutes of silence, I heard Hana shuffle in her bed.

"Derek?" She asked quietly into the darkness, as if being careful in case I'd already fallen asleep.

"Yeah, Hana?"

"I was just curious... ...since you seem like you're a bit more accepting of the idea, have you thought about what Pokemon you're going to ask the Professor for?"

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

I snorted. "I've done a lot of thinking."

"And?"

"And I'm not at all closer to figuring out what I should ask for."

Hana laughed, her quiet chuckles filling the room with a comforting warmth. "I guess it is a big decision," she agreed.

"Yeah, one that I'm probably not going to get to make a second time. I'd told Yuji that I had it down to a few choices but... ...I don't know. There's so much about the world that I don't know, and my scope of what Pokemon I could get is so big. I almost wish there were more limitations."

Hana pondered for a moment before responding. "Then why don't you add them? Limitations, I mean. It might help you narrow it down."

I blinked, though of course it made no difference in the darkness.

"You're so friggin' smart."

Hana laughed again. "Thanks, I try," she chuckled. "Let's start here: what do you need for your team?"

"Well," I mused. "I guess that's a good place to start. I don't really need anything too bulky right now, because Artis is going to handle that for a while. Wisp of course is going to end up as my main energy-based sweeper, so I guess I'm covered on that front. I guess, since I'm going for a bit more of a well-rounded team, I need something fast, something physically strong, or something that could really support my team."

"Derek," Hana scoffed. "That sounded an awful lot like a jab at strategy specialists. Is there something wrong with how Yuji and I are building our teams?"

"No, not at all!" I insisted, raising my hands as though she could see me. "I just meant that I wasn't as focused on that style of training. You guys are totally valid."

"Mm-hmm."

She clearly wasn't convinced.

"Anyway, I was thinking about asking for a dragon, but I'm not sure."

"Oh? This would be the perfect opportunity to ask for one, and you've brought them up in the past. Why not?"

"Well, it's kind of silly, but... ...when I was a kid, I dreamed of owning a Flygon."

I waited for her to respond with disbelief, but when she didn't immediately laugh I was worried.

After a moment, she said, "I'm sorry, I don't actually know what that is?"

My facepalm was audible throughout our whole room.

"Duh, Derek," I muttered to myself. "Sorry, that means a lot more to people from Hoenn. I guess I should explain. Flygon is a dragon type from back home, but it's not really rare. Sure, it takes a lot of work to raise one and tame it, because obviously it's a dragon, but its pre-evolution is really common. To say that I dreamed of having one is kinda like saying 'I really want a Steelix' here. Technically, once they figure out how to evolve it, anybody can get one."

"Oh, I get it now," Hana said. "And since it's common where you're from, you don't want to waste your one Pokemon from the Professor on it?"

"Yeah, though I think 'waste' is a big word. I just figure that, with everything you guys said on Route 02, I'm probably going to have to import a dragon type anyway, so why not make it one that I've wanted for a while? It won't be cheap, but it's on the more attainable side of things."

Hana took a long minute to think about that. "I actually can't find fault in your reasoning. Okay then, you won't ask for a dragon type from the Professor. What about something else that's rare, like a fairy type?"

"Well..."

"Don't tell me you already have one picked out?" Hana sounded exasperated now. "You're really already trying for the ghost, dragon, fairy trifecta? You do know we're supposed to avoid those, right?"

"Wasn't it you who said to take the road less traveled?"

"...touché."

We both laughed. I shifted to pull one of my pillows under me, turning in my bed so that I could hear her more easily.

"I can see why you're having such a hard time," Hana admitted. "You really do seem to have a lot of your team figured out."

"Don't you?"

"Yes, I do," I could hear the smile in her voice. "Ever since I could imagine having a team, I've had mine picked out."

"There ya go. It's harder than it sounds to suddenly have the whole wide world of Pokemon opened up to you. Like, objectively, I should be looking at the rarest possible Pokemon. Like a pseudo-legend from another region, something that I would have no chance of getting."

"Most of those are dragons," Hana pointed out.

"I know!" I groaned.

"What about fossil Pokemon?"

"What?"

"Fossil Pokemon?" She yawned. "You know, the things that you literally risked your life to save? There are some very rare ones that are only found in other regions. Maybe look into one of those?"

"That's not a bad idea. I'll have to look at those in the morning. Thanks, Hana."

"You're welcome, Derek," she said drowsily. It sounded like the long day was finally catching up to her. "Though, maybe look into those other pseudos? If you can fit one into your team comp...

Hana stopped talking slowly, replacing her words with soft breathing. She was falling asleep.

"Good night," I called softly, letting her nod off.

"Night..." Hana didn't even finish the word before I heard her drift.

I rolled back over, thinking about everything we'd talked about.

It was really nice to have gotten everything off of my chest. Hana was an amazing listener. She was just so friggin' smart that she made the solutions seem easy. And even now, when we'd been drifting off, she'd really helped narrow down what I did and didn't want on my future team. She really was the best.

I made a mental note to pick her up a gift when we made it to Cerulean, but before I let sleep take me too, another thought intruded on my thoughts.

Images of a purple and yellow Pokemon flashed through my memories, the sound of electricity and explosions playing in the distance. The Pokemon I'd seen in the Rocket attack, the one Proton had used to disable two Leaguers in a single attack, I needed something like that. I needed a Pokemon that was powerful but also relatively unknown to the people of Kanto.

I drifted off to dreams of rare Pokemon, feeling unburdened for the first time in a long time.

----------------------------------------

Knock, knock, knock.

"Mmmm," I grumbled, pushing my face into my pillow. "Go away..."

Knock, knock knock knock, knock. Knock knock.

Hana let out a groan, but I heard her roll out of bed. She shuffled to our door and popped it open. The sudden influx of light made me flinch, and I pulled my covers over my head.

"You guys still aren't dressed yet?" Amy whined. "It's already breakfast time!"

"Sorry," Hana yawned. "We'll be out in a few minutes. I think Derek still needs to wake up, so we'll just meet you down there."

"Ya know, it's not like you guys to be late," they said, a teasing quality slowly entering Amy's voice. "Sounds like you were up late-"

The door closed shut with a resounding and satisfying thunk.

A few seconds later, a hesitant hand rested on my back.

"Derek?" Hana asked as she nudged me. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah..." I said regretfully. I pulled my covers off, wincing as I realized that Hana had turned on the lights. "What time is it?"

She checked her phone. "Oh wow, we really did sleep in. It's almost ten."

I groaned. We'd already decided that we were going to take the morning to recover and use the facilities here at the Center before heading into the mountain around noon. That only gave me a couple of hours to eat, upload my video, send my messages, and shower.

Especially shower. Three days on the trail were not kind to hygiene.

"Sorry about that," I apologized. "I honestly didn't think we'd talk for that long last night."

Hana made a non-commital noise from the bathroom, giving me a small smile as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. "Don't be sorry, Derek," she chided. "It was good for you to get that off of your chest."

I nodded. She was totally right. I felt calm and light and rested in a way that I hadn't since we'd left Pewter. Just talking to her had really helped. I got up and started to gather my things for the day.

"Ugh," I wrinkled my nose.

"What's wrong?" Hana poked her head back into the room.

I sighed. "I'm gonna skip breakfast and have a shower. I smell awful."

Hana laughed. "That's why I showered last night. I wasn't going to say anything, but..." When I tossed her a glare, Hana chuckled again. "Anyway, how about this: I'll head down and do breakfast with the others, and I'll bring you back something. In return, you'll owe me... ...let's say a few of those oran berries you picked up?

"Deal."

"Yay!" Hana winked at me. "Paige loves them and I accidentally left them off the shopping list in Pewter."

Hana gathered her stuff for the morning and stepped toward the door. Before she opened it, though, she turned back to me. Her expression was soft, concerned even.

"Seriously, Derek," Hana said. "If you ever need to talk some more, I'm here. That's the kind of stuff you go to your friends for."

Warmth bloomed in my chest when she said that. I hadn't had a lot of people do that for me before. I nodded to her.

"This whole... ...reliability thing? It's new to me. I'll give it my best shot, though," I promised.

Hana's lime-green eyes glimmered with amusement.

"You better," she said, stepping through the doorway.

I smiled as she left. I really didn't deserve-

No. I interrupted that thought. That's the kind of thing that got me in trouble with her in the first place. I don't want Hana to barge back in here and get mad that I'm already putting myself down.

I chuckled at the thought, taking my toiletries into the bathroom.

Legends bless the Pokemon Center, the shower was hot.

----------------------------------------

"Oh, the two of you got some late-night conversing done?" Amy wiggled their eyebrows.

The two of us were wrapping things up in the computer lab as the other two were grabbing their things from upstairs. I'd had an excellent shower and eaten a couple of muffins that Hana had brought me, and I'd already gotten my Pokegram video uploaded and messages sent to my parents and Daisy saying that I was heading into Mt. Moon.

It had been a productive morning.

I sighed. "You promised to never bring that up again."

"Nuh-uh. I promised to never compare Hana and your girlfriend again. I said nothing about making completely independent innuendos."

I gave them a flat stare. "I will sic Wisp on you."

Amy tried to hold my stare, but they saw the conviction in my eyes and crumbled. "Fiiiine. But this is so boring. You need to let me ship you with somebody."

"Absolutely, I happen to have a girlfriend that you could do that to."

"Blegh."

I held my stare longer. "Did you want to see how you could get your next psychic type, or should I put that on hold?"

Now I had Amy's attention. I'd texted them to come down to the computer lab, but I hadn't actually told them what we were doing. Hana had taken the liberty of bringing up the idea of Floor 5 to Yuji, and she'd already texted me that he'd agreed.

"What did you have in mind, chief?" Amy gave me a mock salute, but I could tell that they were genuinely interested.

"Well, you know how you were kind of waiting until Cerulean to get your next teammate because of your specialization?"

Amy nodded, looking a little downcast. It wasn't lost on them that the sentence 'wait until Cerulean' meant that the Pokemon would be unusable in their gym challenge. There just wouldn't be enough time to train it.

"Well, I did some looking into it, and I think we might be able to find some psychics in Mt. Moon," I said, clicking a button on my computer to show them my notes. On the screen was the map that Hana had supplied last night along with all of the markings and sources I'd gotten for the psychic type rumors.

"What?" Amy's eyes went wide as they glanced between me and the computer. They pushed in past me, wedging their chair up against the desk to get as close as possible.

I slid back, a tiny smile forming on my face as they read. Amy pulled their beanie off of their head, clutching it as they scrolled.

"Derek...?" Their voice quivered a little.

"Yeah, Ames?"

I almost cracked when Amy turned back to me. They had tiny tears in the corners of their eyes and, for once, there wasn't a trace of sarcasm on their face.

"You did all this for me?" Amy looked like they were going to cry.

Ah shit, I panicked, feeling my sympathetic crying reflex start to rear its head.

"Well..." I said, choking it down and keeping my voice steady. "It was mostly me. Hana gave final approval."

Amy shocked me by basically leaping out of their chair to give me a hug. I didn't hesitate to return it. I could tell from their reaction that a lot of the doubts that I'd had regarding their training were thoughts that they'd had too. It wasn't hard to tell that this was giving Amy a lot of hope that they hadn't had. Getting another Pokemon before we got to Cerulean could be crucial for them.

Amy stood up, wiping their eyes. "Alright," they said. "Twenty-four hours."

"What?" I asked in confusion.

They gave me a soft punch in the shoulder, none of their normal mischievous energy in it. "You get twenty-four hours of no teasing, for you to cash in whenever you want."

It took a second to sink in.

Amy jumped back when I burst out laughing.

"That's awesome!" I howled. "Yeah, okay bean. Twenty-four hours seems fair."

"Bean?" It was Amy's turn to be confused.

"Enby bean, that's what you called yourself, right? In Pewter?"

They took a second to recall our conversation at the Pewter market, but they took on a gentle smile once they did.

"Yeah, I did. I just didn't realize you'd remember that."

"That's my job, Ames," I stood, chuckling still as I closed out my computer. I found myself echoing Hana. "That's the kind of thing you go to your friends for."

Amy bumped their head into my shoulder. "Thanks, Derek."

I grinned. "You're welcome, bean." I grabbed up the rest of my things. "Now, let's go conquer a mountain."

----------------------------------------

We met up with Hana and Yuji by the front desk and checked out of the Mt. Moon Pokemon Center. It felt weird to be leaving, we hadn't even been there a full twenty-four hours.

The weather outside was beautiful. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, showing off the majesty of the towering Mt. Moon. Today you could actually see its peak, as impossibly high as it was. Jagged rocks and sharp ridges covered its outside, intimidating enough to almost make me grateful we were going through and not over Mt. Moon.

And then I looked at the cave, and that relief vanished.

The Pokemon Center was less than half a kilometer from Floor 1's entrance, and the massive cavern was even more terrifying in person. The jagged stone walls stretched over forty meters into the air before coming to a structurally ambiguous arch. The light from the noon sun only did so much to illuminate the cavern, so the view disappeared into a deep darkness after only a few hundred meters of the path were revealed. Every once in a while, there would be the flash of flapping Zubat wings with the cavern as they were disturbed by passing trainers.

Outside, there was a healthy trickle of trainers coming to and from the mountain, maybe two or three every fifteen minutes.

There were several established paths through the mountain that allowed for easy travel between the floors, but the one we were taking was quicker and harder than most, so I wasn't expecting to see this much traffic inside the cave itself.

Even though it was only mildly cold today, all of us had slipped on our thickest coats and put on extra layers. The temperature was supposed to drop dramatically once you entered Floor 1, so we were already prepared.

I looked over at the other three. "You guys ready for this?"

Their expressions told me that no, they were as intimidated as I was, but all of them nodded in spite of that.

"A thought occurred to me," Yuji spoke up. "And it's done wonders this morning to motivate me."

"Oh? Share with the class?"

He nodded, stoically looking into the yawning cavern before us. "If we do manage to find these rumored Bronzong or Chingling, they would fetch a high enough price to allow us to dramatically improve our teams."

I shot him a surprised look, but it melted away immediately. I wasn't used to Yuji being the one to bring up money, but now knowing his situation, it made a lot of sense.

"That's an idea," Amy murmured. "I get a Pokemon, and we all get that bag."

"I could use some funds for evolution stones and importing Pokemon," Hana admitted. "And clothes. And maybe a new laptop."

I nodded. "Alright. Catch Pokemon, train your team, profit. I could get behind that."

We all stared at the cavern for another moment, none of us ready to take the first step. I ran my hand over Daisy's handkerchief, still tied to my wrist.

"Well," I sighed, biting my lip. "Fuck it, we ball."

Three murmurs of agreement later, we left for Mt. Moon.