Luis and I sat in silence on the rocks for a little more, until the warmth of the sun had fully disappeared. The strange tortellini clung to the crevasses between my teeth and I had to stretch my jaw to fish them out using my tongue. The man observed it with an amused-looking expression but didn't comment on it. I snuck repeated glances onto his right hand, spotting the charred skin on his palm. The smell reminded me of the drowning scent of burned flesh, back in the camp and I chose to not speak of it for the moment.
The overall stench of death that had clung to both of us had successfully washed out in the river and the man didn't smell that bad. His hair also looked a lot less dirty and the blood on his face was washed away. Still, he had many scars all over his features, a missing earlobe on one side, a faded white line across his nose, and bruised skin above his eye. Overall, he looked...nice.
My own injuries were contained to the missing scales on my snout, though that part would fade with my next shedding. Eating something definitely helped me to settle on my situation a little more, though what Luis had done to himself during cooking lingered on my mind.
"How long do you sleep usually?" Luis interrupted my thoughts with the quiet question.
"Five to six hours normally, but that's more of a guideline," I explained, referring to the numerous times Advent had us going from battle to battle without pause. "If I don't sleep that amount of time, I can recuperate the next time I get the opportunity."
"You'd think someone as big as you would need more sleep than a human," he commented.
"I don't think it has to do with the size of one's body and more that the brain needs respite," I theorized.
"I'm just asking because we might want to keep a lookout throughout parts of the night," he said.
"Why?" I asked simply.
"We killed three of their agents on the way out, you say that you escaped openly. I just doubt that they will just let us get away that easily. Chances are, they have other priorities for now, but I would be surprised if nothing comes from this," Luis suggested, worry in his voice.
"I see what you mean and I agree that caution is a good option. Do you think it will come to another shootout?" I asked as he chewed on his lower lip, a habit I was beginning to associate with him thinking.
"It is more than a little likely. But if it does, we should be prepared to fight back and have a plan to escape. The boat," he announced and nodded to the hut.
I had already explored the area a little the previous night and morning, but the room at the back of the small fishing hut was secured via the same lock that had been on my cage. Not wanting to cause unnecessary noise, I had left it.
"A boat?" I repeated
"Yes, that's a garage. There is a small paddleboat in there, it's locked when not in use, but we have enough time to crack that lock. The only problem, that would only take us downstream and into a lake. After that, there's a waterfall we would go around, that's where the camp's territory ends," he explained and I imagined the layout of what he was talking about.
"And why is that a problem?"
"Because I would much rather go upstream and send the boat alone," he explained and I couldn't help but raise an impressed brow.
"So that would throw anyone pursuing us completely off-track, smart," I concluded.
"Exactly. Now, there is another thing we have to discuss about this." He took a deep breath in and looked me directly in the eyes.
His eyes, they were...strange. A dark green outline, which dissolved into a brighter shade, ending in reflective pupils. Whenever he looked out into nothingness, during moments of quiet, they grew -for the lack of a better word- vacant. Distant and unoccupied, just part of his entire face. But, every time he focused on me when he spoke, they regained their liveliness, expressiveness, and emotion. In those moments, it felt impossible to look anywhere else for more than a few seconds.
"It's unlikely that they will take more than a few days to catch up to us. They have equipment, a hovercraft, and far too many people to fend off for a long period of time. With my wounds, going at a pace that wouldn't run our resources dry is almost impossible." He paused. "I've already said it, we get to safety and then we split up. I am suggesting that you go upstream and I stay here."
I took in the information and his plan separately. "Your injuries will take time to heal, yes. But I severely doubt splitting up will help either of us. The plan of sending the boat downstream will work and we can make camp while traveling upstream. I can hunt for the both of us and if we stay near the river we have drinking water nearby."
"I won't be able to actually help, you'll just be dragging me behind you," he insisted.
"But you just staying around me will help," I retorted.
"And why is that?" He let his head roll to the side and looked at me with a knowing expression.
I didn't respond, he had caught me in something. Why did I need him around, simple, he had promised to help, right? But there was something else, too. He was a bargaining chip. It sounds strange, admitting that this is how I saw him, but it was the truth. I was scared of humans, not only of the ones who had killed my sisters but the humans we had yet to encounter. Xcom's ceasefire was an order that had already been refused once without immediate precautions. It was more than logical that more humans, especially ones that are hidden, still remained hostile towards any alien.
But an alien with a human? If Luis remained by my side and proclaimed as such, others would have to accept that I was different, that killing me was wrong.
And Luis had just forced me into a corner, where I had to either lie or reveal that fact, neither of which I would have liked to do.
"...Because you..." I looked away, I couldn't say it. It felt wrong, he wasn't just a bargaining chip , but what was he?
"Because humans will hesitate to shoot you if they see you carrying around an injured human," he finished my statement.
"You knew?" I returned to face him, trying to discern anger, betrayal, sadness, something, anything, from his face. But came up empty-handed.
"I figured something along those lines," he shrugged. "I don't blame you."
"Wha-why?" I burst forward at his uncaring expression.
"You were a fucking mess every time you talked to me, don't think your panic is hidden that easily. You're running on survival, I know how it feels. You are trying to gather allies, reduce your own risk, and increase the number of people you don't have to be suspicious of. And the simple fact of that is, I am the only one you can possibly attach to because I am the only one who hasn't tried to betray you yet. The way things went down yesterday have you planning for every possible outcome and having me as your pass, that says hey, this one is friendly, please don't shoot, is one of the best opportunities you'll get at survival."
He waited for a moment, in which he looked away for a second before facing me again, offering that, slightly impeded due to a healing lip, smile. "Again, I'm not mad or angry. I am simply saying that it will cost you more in the short term if you carry me around. Eventually, sure, if I recover and stay alive with you, it might help to prevent being shot on sight, but I sincerely doubt that either of us will live that long if we don't split up."
He went quiet and continued to look me in the face.
"How can you be so certain about all that?" I finally brought words into language.
"I analyze everything I know and make predictions," he replied calmly.
"Then your predictions are wrong. The speed at which we go won't matter if they think we went the completely separate direction," I argued.
"They will find the boat likely within a day or so. When they don't see any tracks away from the shore, they'll know we went elsewhere. This entire thing was designed for me to go alone and fast, but in this state, it will only work if you go alone. I might even be able to buy you a little bit of time," he shot down my argument easily.
"And what will you do if I leave?" I prodded.
"Sit on the pier, spear a couple of fish, and see how many of them I can pick off," he replied jokingly.
"How long will your food supply last you?"
"You'd be taking the food. If you ration it and hunt when you get the chance, you should be good for two weeks, if you eat as much as a human," he answered.
"Why would I take your food, what would that leave you with?" I asked confused.
"Don't worry about me, I have plans. Plus, I can fish with either the spears or my SMG," again, he didn't sound entirely serious.
"I don't believe that," I shook my head.
"Eh, what else do you suggest?" He dismissed and raised one eyebrow.
"We don't split up."
"Stupid idea," he quickly replied.
"I will not just leave you here," I remained resolute.
"Shit luck, I'd say. Cause I will not kill you, too, by slogging behind," his voice switched, he was serious now.
"You want to stay here to defend me, but why can't you see that being at my side is safer for both of us?" I didn't relent, this wasn't how we were going to split up.
"Didn't you already agree to my conditions when you got me off that floor?" His attitude remained unchanging.
"And I revoke that now," I countered.
Luis laughed, then scoffed. "That's not how this works, Isra."
"Why are you so convinced that it won't work?" I continued to bicker, but the man had already lost attention.
"I hope you paid attention to how you make tortellini," he unfolded his legs and grabbed the plates.
"Luis, don't just walk away," I pleaded.
"I can't, that's the point, isn't it?" He snapped back at me, anger in his tone and eyes. As if startled, he recoiled and shook his head, while muttering, "I can't just walk away anymore."
"What do you mean anymore?" I uncoiled from the rocks and slithered up next to him.
"Nothing," he tried to dismiss and walk away.
"Stop doing that! Every time I ask you something important, it seems that you just lose all interest in talking to me. I get that you have a lot to worry about, I get that you are in pain, I know you don't want to be around me, but...just talk to me. You already said that you don't see me as some mindless animal, so don't treat me like one," I demanded, my voice coming off a little stronger than I would have liked.
He was turned away from me, but upon hearing my words, he spun around and faced me. Uncertainty is how I would describe what I saw on his face, he was thinking again, only much more tension crept its way into his eyes.
"I have," was his reply. "I have been treating you the way I have been treating every single person."
I narrowed my eyes, as he once again refused to look at me.
"I don't like people, that's just it. They are annoying, they are boring, and they always stab you in the fucking back. I have learned that many times over and I am done," he began to walk away.
"Then I will ask you again. Why did you help me in the first place?" I chose not to follow, even though I could have caught up to him in a heartbeat.
At first, I thought he hadn't heard me or was just ignoring me. But he stopped after a few meters.
"Because you didn't deserve to die in a cage. Out here, you at least have a chance, you can live. Enjoy it, Isra, you've not had it for a long time." He spoke without looking at me.
I didn't follow, as he limped back to the hut. He arrived at the door and closed it behind himself.
Slowly, the night had crept into the clearing, making everything appear gray and colorless. I stared at the hut as if awaiting the man to come back out. This wasn't how this should have ended, I had to convince him, I had to find something that would show him that we could survive together. The cold wind sent an involuntary shiver down my tail and I remembered how little my armor actually did to insulate me, considering that most of my body mass and heat was in my tail.
Howling in the distance made me spin on the spot. At first, I expected to be swarmed by a horde of the lost but quickly shook that ridiculous notion from my mind. Earth's wildlife was varied and strange. Many had been exterminated, like most farm animals, like cows and pigs, but out in the forests, it persisted. I was still more than a little scared of the more predatory kinds since I knew I wasn't the apex predator without weapons, but that would have to change.
But Luis...Why was he acting this way? Previously he had been planing for both of us, to the point that I had assumed the point about splitting up was nothing but another one of his weird jokes. But he was actually serious. He wanted to leave and there seemed to be nothing I could say to convince him otherwise. I needed him, I couldn't just leave him. I couldn't just abandon the next person who tried to help me, not again.
Determined to find something to change his mind, I slithered to the cabin and pushed the door open. The light inside was dim, a small oil lantern burned away in the corner, but I could make out everything in great detail. The living room, which was stocked with empty shelves and closed cupboards, the portable burner Luis had used before stood on the table in the middle, along with some contents of his bag. I didn't see him in the room and assumed that he had already gone to sleep.
I peeked around the corner and spotted the man sitting on one of the beds.
"Luis?" I got his attention and he glanced up.
"I'm not discussing this further," he immediately responded.
I slithered into the room, while keeping most of my tail outside. "Let me prove that this can work, please."
"Prove what? Isra, the only thing that will happen if we travel together is that I will kill both of us," he sounded exasperated, exhausted, and tired.
"What is the alternative? I leave you here alone so you can do what exactly? Wait for the people you dread so much to come, be captured, interrogated in which direction I went, tortured?" I stayed in the opposite corner of the room.
"I won't let it get that far," he stated plainly.
"Stop doing that!" I hissed. "You always hint at actions, your past, your experiences. You talk backward because you know exactly that I can't figure out what you really mean. Just talk to me normally, not in this...condescending manner," I felt my tail beat against the floor in the other room.
"Condescending?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes! Exactly like that," I gestured to him wildly.
"What do you want me to say? That they won't come after us, that it is in any way possible that I won't slow us to a crawl, that either of us could fight them off?"
"I thought you were a soldier," I interjected.
Suddenly, his expression shifted, his eyes looked darker, his brow was pulled more tightly. "I was."
"Then fight! Don't just...give up. I can protect you if that's what you are scared about, I can carry you if you think our speed matters that much, I can keep guard during the nights. Just...don't leave me alone in this," I pleaded.
"It's not that simple," he retorted and I had to contain the reaction of rolling my eyes. "The person following us isn't just some random agent. He will find us and there is nothing you or I will be able to do about it."
"You want to stay behind because of one man?" I questioned with a confused look.
"His name is Emir, he is the reason I am even in this state. I don't know what he was before the invasion, but he is more capable than most people I have met in my life," Luis explained.
"We can outmaneuver one man, we can kill one man," I argued.
"That is the thing, he isn't alone. He made some sort of deal with that woman, he is now a part of them. He knows me, and he knows that I am still alive. He is not coming for you, he is hunting me. As long as I am with you, you are not safe." Deep-seated emotion rang through his words.
"So this is about saving me now? You want to protect me so bad that you want to leave me alone, is that it?" I repeated.
"I've stopped carrying about what happens to me for a while now, this was always about you," he adopted a more somber and quiet tone, in contrast to my emotional outburst.
When I didn't respond, mostly because I didn't know how to, he continued. "The only reason I got off that floor was that I was certain that I could help you at that moment, that you needed me. But now, I am putting you in danger by just being around you. You've already wasted medical supplies on me, don't try to occupy your head with what you could say to make me follow you. Because I won't. Not because I want to abandon you, but because I don't want you to fight my fight, too."
"But together, we can survive whatever comes for us, I am certain. We have time to prepare, they won't be able to take us both. If we split up, we are just crippling our chances of fighting back. You would die here and I would either have to hide for the rest of my life, or they'll find me and execute me. You've fought my fight, let me help you in yours." I continuously stared into the green circles, hoping to find something, a reaction, a moment of realization.
A tiny glimmer reflected off his vision.
"You're really not gonna give up on this, are you?" He leaned backward against the bedframe.
"No, I won't. And I won't leave," I insisted. This got a reaction, a slight twitch of his eyebrow, but it was the first one.
"You have to," he replied, trying to keep his composure.
"I will not abandon you. If that means I will die here, then we die together."
He didn't reply. He cocked his head to the side and gave me a scrutinizing glare. I stayed locked with his eyes, though I doubted I could even have looked away. There was just something so mesmerizing every time he focused.
"Why?" was his only response, though it sounded far weaker than his usual brash tone.
It was my turn to be at a loss for words, as I blanked on the actual reason behind not wanting to leave. 'Because I am scared of other humans? Because you are the first person to show me some semblance of kindness?' No, none of these were true to the full extend.
"I...don't know. I thought it was only because I needed you to survive, but that is no longer the case. If it was, I would have left you when you passed out in the forest. I was not trained in talking to humans like my sisters or the other aliens were, I went with whatever came into my mind, and...you talked back. You actually spoke to me like I spoke to you, you didn't try to put me beneath you," I stammered out after a prolonged period of silent looks.
"Just now, you called me condescending," he scoffed.
"That was...I'm sorry. I am just scared that I won't find the right words, that I will mess it all up again," I replied uncertainly.
"You blame yourself for the death of your friends, right?" He remained calm, but there was another thing in his voice, sorrow.
"I can't get them out of my head," I admitted, as the panic of the situation clawed its way back into my mind.
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"And you think leaving me here will feel the same," he assessed further.
"I can't help but see the similarities. I am once again too bad at the one thing I need to be good at and others will suffer for my mistakes. I will not make that same mistake again," I slowly swayed my head from side to side, as if affirming to myself that this was the choice I was going with.
"Hmm," was Luis' only acknowledgment that he had heard and understood.
"So you'd rather die at the side of a human like me than live out your days?" He inquired.
"You said yourself that you don't know when they will come. So yes. I will stay here with you and if they arrive before you have recovered, I will fight and die by your side," I confirmed resolutely.
"You changed your mind quickly there, a minute ago you were so convinced that life was the end-all-be-all," he chuckled.
"It would not be a life if I could never stop looking behind my back," I replied.
"Huh, this is the first time someone's said something like that to me," he noted. "But I can't say that I disagree," he smirked.
"Then it is settled," I finalized. "If they don't arrive before you are ready to travel, however, you will promise me that you will follow me. Agreed?" I raised an eyebrow and stuck out my hand.
He looked at my outstretched hand with a sideways expression, then asked, "what are you doing?" Interrupted by repeated snickering laughter.
"Giving you a handshake, I thought that meant an agreement amongst humans," I explained and began to feel uncertain about my understanding once more.
"It does. I just didn't think you'd try such a thing to get me to promise you something," he eyed my stationary hand.
"Well, do you promise?" I turned my head to the side.
He blew air out his nostrils, which I found particularly strange, then leaned forwards and grabbed my hand.
I had touched him and other humans before, I had constricted more than a few to death. But this time, it felt different, somehow. Any other time, whether it was with the resistance soldiers, half-human hybrids, or Luis while I was bandaging him; it was a matter of one person needing to be touched, or being forced to. But here, it was just a voluntary and conscious effort at contact. He was warmer than me, his skin was soft, yet covered in thicker parts around his palm, his extra finger felt strange to come into contact with, and the pressure was just enough to feel without hurting. His fingers were also a lot meatier and relatively short.
His thumb brushed against the back of my hand.
I flinched involuntarily, not because of uncomfortableness, but rather because it was gentle and new.
Immediately, he pulled back and looked to the corner next to me. “I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered and turned away completely.
My hand was still out, frozen in the position he had ripped away from. I was just confused, confused and startled by his immediate retreat, and by the visual of him truly taken out of his element.
‘What just happened?’ I found myself unable to grasp why he would go across my scales like that. An accidental movement of his finger, nervousness about touching me, or the same sensation I had felt? That unfamiliarity, this mysterious veil I sensed with our every interaction, the same curiosity he had expressed towards me, I felt towards him. He was an enigma, a puzzle that started to show cracks, and I wanted to see what was beneath.
But how could I? It was a wonder that he even went as far as agreeing to this, that he chose to engage in my continued prodding and questioning. Truth was, he didn’t owe me anything, he could have left me in my cage, he could have not gotten up off that floor, he didn’t have to be kind to me.
There was a limit to this, that much had been obvious from the start. But where was that limit? How far would I be willing to go, how far was he? I wanted a life, yes, but I could not imagine what it would even be.
“You should sleep and heal, I will be in the other room,” I advised and turned on the spot, doubling over my tail, which was still draped around the entrance.
He didn’t reply, but I hadn’t given him the chance.
I stormed out of the doorway and back into the now pitch black and freezing, night. Granted, I could still see relatively well, but colors were all a variation of grey or black, taking a lot of joy away from observing nature. I would go back inside soon, but for now, I leaned against the wall of the hut and just let the tension in my shoulders and tail be swept away by the cool air around me.
It didn’t take long, however, until the warmth of the hut drew me back inside, where I coiled my tail into an unoccupied corner and closed the door behind me.
The amount of sleep I had gotten in the past days was not nearly enough, that much had been apparent by my constant search for warmth and places to rest. Sleeping tonight would be a necessity, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t look out for anything. I was certain that my sense of smell was tuned enough to detect any human or animal approaching, and the assault rifle I had collected from the agents was laid out on the table.
I hadn’t attempted to figure out exactly how Luis’ gun, his SMG, worked, so I had left it in his room. Though it struck me as odd, that he would carry such an ornamental and intricately crafted weapon, I hadn’t found the right moment to talk about it.
I coiled up into a vertical tunnel and rested my head on the top, looking out through the small, dirty window between cupboards. I let my thoughts wander, on all manner of subjects, though most revolved around that look in Luis’ eyes, the tiny glimpse into someone else. There was a person filled with uncertainty, worry, and sadness behind an exterior that attempted to keep itself shut off. Mabe, it was just the same feeling he expressed, curiosity, but in my case, it felt different.
With warmth on my scales and food in my stomach, I slowly drifted off into sleep.
"Hey, wake up," a low, calm, and assuring voice reached my ears and my eyelids gently fluttered open.
I was outside, how was I outside?
Before I could question how I had been transported into the valley, surrounded by the deep greens of the forest, my eyes met those of Luis. He stood above me and smiled at an angle. I looked around confused, though it was only momentary. And, although there were many signs that would have tipped me off to the fact that this was not real, my mind had grown complacent in just going along with whatever my subconscious had created.
"Come on, we're late," Luis reached out with a hand.
I stared at first but grabbed the human's hand anyway. I couldn't really sense my body, but it still felt the same, he still felt the same.
Within the split second of him pulling me from the floor, his clothes changed, the surroundings changed, the sky changed. I remembered the visual layout of city 26, the one Advent city I had been in. In fact, it was just like that memory. One month within a city, one month patrolling around humans, one month of watching them b together, laugh, have fun. Of course, I didn't think like this back then, I saw them as civilians, that I would reprimand for stepping out of line and protect in a gunfight.
But that one evening, slithering down a dark sidewalk...
Now I was here with Luis. The rhythmical music within, consisting of violins, pianos, and many other high-pitched instruments which I couldn't identify, sounded from within. The big windows displayed a massive hall within, hundreds of congregated humans sat within, all dressed like Luis was. A black suit and white cloth beneath slick edges, and broad shoulders, though Luis' were supported by actual muscle; supported by an intricately folded tie.
They were just...sitting there. They weren't made to sit there, they weren't ordered, this wasn't anything useful, nor practical. They were allowed to just exist.
Back then, that was an impossible concept, something unattainable, implausible. They were the most alien part I had seen on this world, the strangest experience these humans would do. And yet, I had memorized these fleeting moments, so much so that they replayed in my newly born mind.
But why was he here? Why was he dressed that way? And why was I walking side by side with him?
More humans arrived, in pairs, groups of three, or more, walking side by side with us. My first instinct was to dodge, get out of the way of civilians, but my body didn't follow. They also didn't avoid me, didn't stare, didn't smell of fear. Instead, I remembered the scented tastes of chemicals and artificial flavors on humans, but they weren't as oppressive as before.
Luis and I stepped into a line, going into the building. Despite the fact that I don't recall ever moving my tail, no one stepped on it, but I suppose the is the lack of logic in these dreams .
The melody inside began playing, as the humans to our front were let inside by a sectoid, also in a suit. I didn’t notice at first, but my body was moving along the melody, following the repeating tones and reacting to the interjection in between. I closed my eyes and simply listened.
The world felt calm, certain, clear, and warm, as I let my body do what it desired.
I suddenly fell backward and landed in warm water.
I was in a deep lake, the sunshine of the surface was many meters away, but I never felt panicked. My breath could last several minutes, yes, but it didn’t feel like I had a timer in here. It was as if I could breathe underwater.
I floated stationary, my massive tail drawing waves behind me. Shades of blue translucency painted my otherwise unimpeded vision, as I looked around.
Another memory, though this one was much further back. So far, in fact, that I do not know when in my life I had seen this before.
Softened edges of rocks, darker shades further down, a close sun, that traveled a different direction, the feeling of less density in my body; it all pointed to the things I remembered about my home planet. Through the splitting visuals of water, I made out the three stars, which had encircled the center of our galaxy, all distant, all named, all-important, and all so gorgeous. These distant bodies used to be the most alien sight I had ever known before the Ethereals took me away.
I began swimming, not upwards, but to the places, I couldn’t see. I felt light, I felt free, free of the constraining armor the ethereals had put on me, away from those who wanted to hurt me. This was the most beautiful place in the universe…
But it was lonely.
The feeling didn’t escape my mind. Here, I had been with my kind, with my sisters, but now, I had nothing anymore. I was alone.
Well, not entirely, not in reality at least. Speaking of which.
I slowly blinked my way into consciousness, as a shiny ray of yellowish gold reflected through the window and landed in my eye. I took a deep sigh in and stretched my tail out as far as I could while yawning widely. I let my fangs emerge and moved them around a little, then pulled them back.
No smells in the air, no noises from outside, except the muted sounds of birds, running water, and creaking wood. I peeked into Luis’ room and he was still sleeping. I chose to let him rest and went outside.
The cold still lingered in the air, but the pale and low-luminosity light of the moon had been replaced by an obscured burning horizon. Past a white layer of impregnable fog, the far center of this galaxy attempted to break through, but only managed to blind me with a bright glow. I shielded my eyes and squinted, despite the fact that I should have looked away, I continued to try to make out any shapes beyond a few dozen meters away.
It would have felt scary or eery, but that wasn’t what I associated with this sight. Instead, I found, and still regard, this as absolutely gorgeous. It was peaceful, serene, and undisturbed. Shapes of trees became nothing but shadowy outlines, the water rushed further away in the impenetrable white, as the distant outlines of the mountains were just that, outlines across a horizon.
Glistening drops of remaining water lingered on plants and against the hut’s walls. The windows had also grown foggy and unclear. Trees stood tall, like massive giants watching over the forest, as it slowly lifted the early morning sleepiness. The bright light of the sun, broken into millions of stray beams, burned away at the unrelenting fog with little noticeable effect. A web from a spider carried tiny reflective globes of moisture, outlining the intricate and impossibly beautiful shape of the tiny animal.
I didn’t even notice that my maw had drooped and that I hadn’t blinked in a while, as I was mesmerized by the sights around me. Every time I exhaled, a stream of warm air escaped my mouth, every sound came from indistinguishable directions, and the forest smelled so...alive.
Every breath carried some of the wetness into my lungs, making it cool my entire body. I shivered slightly but remained in place. This was too beautiful to just ignore and go back inside. A part of me wanted to wake Luis, share this moment, but perhaps he didn’t like seeing this.
I sat down on the small steps leading up to the cabin and tucked myself into my coils, just seeing, smelling, and hearing the forest slowly awaking around me.
These strange visions plagued my mind for hours to come. I tried making some sense as to how I went into memories, how I was able to incorporate Luis into them, why they felt real, but they began to fade from my mind with every waking moment. Did he have these too? Was this something all of the aliens were experiencing? I decided I would ask Luis about this later.
Slowly, the shadows from the treeline next to us disappeared and the fog began to dissipate, as the sun rose above their blockade. With it came new colors and much-needed warmth. I let my body relax a little more and began soaking up as much of the early morning sun as I was able to. I let out a satisfying hiss and closed my eyes, drifting into a calm headspace, in which I let every single one of my thoughts flourish into a web of mostly indistinguishable ideas and random concepts.
Something inside of the cabin shifted and I turned my head, as the door was pushed open. Luis stood in the doorframe and looked at me on the side of the porch. He looked sleep-ridden and yawned with half-closed eyes. Again, his injuries were healing nicely, his lip was no longer swollen and his brow had returned to its normal look; well, not entirely, as he was missing several hairs in the middle.
“How long have you been up?” He asked during a drawn-out stretch.
“A few hours, the morning was beautiful,” I noted, still continuing to look out at the scenery in front of me.
“I think so too, the forest is always nice, but mornings and sunsets are where I usually went out,” he reminisced and I turned to him with a cocked eyebrow.
“I didn’t know you would...enjoy this kind of thing,” I commented and he shrugged.
“I guess I come off that way, don’t I?” He asked.
“Yes, you do,” I confirmed, unsure why he asked.
“Rhetorical question, I thought you’d know that,” he chuckled slightly.
“I…” ‘How could I be so stupid, come on, that wasn’t even hard.’ “I have trouble with mannerisms sometimes,” I admitted.
“Yeah, you mentioned that you are not well versed in human conversation. Is there a reason behind that, or…” He inquired with a sideways glance.
“There was this social aptitude test for units born before we arrived on earth, to see which ones could be integrated into cities as patrols. We had a few weeks to prepare by undergoing psionic lessons, then had to talk to humans who interviewed us. I scored among the lowest in the squad, the official report stated that I misread obvious tells too many times, but there are more areas they didn’t even test me on. I was stamped a combat unit only, meaning anything involving talking was handled by someone else,” I explained, while my view kept getting pulled into his eyes.
“So they made you a combatant because...you’re socially incompetent?” He was full-on laughing.
“Not incompetent, just not suited for the city,” I retorted, trying to discern if he was laughing at me or about Advent’s ridiculous tests.
“Well, I can tell you that you don’t seem incompetent to me, maybe just a little misguided,” he flashed a smile and I was certain that he hadn’t made fun of me.
“You seem fairly good at talking, how do you do it?” I asked nonchalantly.
“I was taught, nothing more. I had to be calm in most situations, I had to speak clearly or be reprimanded, and I had to get the truth out of people who really didn’t want to tell me the truth. After that, I’d say it’s just practice,” he replied in the same lightheartedness as me.
“What were you before the invasion?” He had piqued my interest, though I already assumed to be dismissed once again.
But, instead of a joking response or him simply changing the subject again, the human thought deeply. He then crossed his arms over his chest and looked out onto the growing brightness of the horizon.
“I was a soldier, that much was true. That’s how it started at least. I outperformed my peers, I took every assignment to its fullest. This got the attention of some people and I was offered a promotion. My new job was...more varied, to say the least. I officially died in an accident and started life only working, only traveling, only killing. I spent six years in hotels, in barracks all over the world, I knew more people than most will ever meet, but none knew me. When the invasion started, my team was supposed to be the shining example that we could fight back, that humanity had a chance,” he scoffed and blew air out of his nose again. “Well, you see how far that got us.”
“You sound...remorseful, do regret taking the promotion?” I scanned over his features.
“Here we are again with hindsight. Looking back, yes, I would have rather stayed a normal soldier. But in the moment, I thought I was doing right, I had convinced myself that I was special, that they needed me.” His jaw tensed and his eyes shifted.
“If you weren’t special then, they would not have given you that offer. And if you don’t believe that, then you are special now,” I retorted and he looked up at me.
He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. “Why do think that?”
“Because you are different from other humans, is that not the definition of special? You see me as a conscious being, you helped me when all others said to kill us.”
“And I’d be executed by everyone I’ve ever known for it,” he replied, his tone remained strangely humored.
“Then let’s not let that happen,” I encouraged and his lips tugged slightly.
Silence took the clearing, as we both simply sat and watched the colors and shapes of the surroundings grow in intensity. The multicolored leaves of the different trees swayed softly, their glistening shine reflected a hundred times over, as they danced in the slow breeze. Birds chirped and argued amongst each other, a woodpecker hammered away at a tree, a bigger animal rustle in the bushes, and the valley howled with a stronger gust of wind.
It was still cold and the sunshine had yet to burn away the freezing temperatures of the previous night. I noticed my body become sluggish and my mind trailing off at a slower pace.
“I need to get back inside, for now, my scales don’t filter out the cold like skin does,” I explained and righted myself.
“And here I was wondering if you just liked basking in the heat, but I guess that settles it;” Luis commented and got up as well.
“Settles what?” I asked, as I opened the door and poured into the warmer interior.
“That you’re cold-blooded, right?” He inquired from behind me.
“No, I’m not,” I retorted. “I am not a snake, I am warm-blooded like you, my body just doesn’t distribute earth’s climate that well.”
“Wel, you’ve got scales, a tail, fangs, a split tongue with which you smell, a hood, and you don’t like the cold. I get that you are an alien from many lightyears away, but you can see the similarities, too, right?” He slipped in behind me and shut the door.
“Superficial coincidences at best. Though I do wonder which species emerged first, perhaps I could compare snakes to us instead of the other way around,” I theorized in an amused mood.
Luis chuckled, but, a moment later, I felt a short pain in my tail. I yelped and Luis immediately stepped back, having realized that he had just stepped on me.
“S-sorry didn’t see you there,” he quickly apologized, as I pulled my tail in closer.
“Don’t worry, I’ve had a muton step on it before, it’s a thing that comes with size I guess,” I responded calmly.
He raised an eyebrow and I pulled the section he had stepped on up for display, showing that there wasn’t even a mark.
“What do you wanna do until it gets warmer?” He sat on top of the table and leaned onto his arms.
“I actually have another question,” I said while coiling around myself and replicating the posture of sitting, despite the fact that it was not at all for the sake of comfort.
“Shoot,” he replied shortly and I met him with a confused look.
He rolled his eyes, “another expression,” he sighed. “It means go ahead.”
“And you wonder why I failed the exam,” I responded jokingly. “But my question, I know it will sound strange and weird, but I have no idea who I could ask. Whenever I went to sleep in the past few days, after I was freed, I...have been having these unexplainable visions. I transport to places I have been before, or completely new ones, where I can see, feel, and move. I have little actual control and the memory of them fades quickly, but I awake without any sign that they actually happened. Do you know anything about this?”
Over the course of explaining, I noticed the human’s expression shift from general intrigue, to an amused smirk.
“You’re dreaming, is that a foreign concept to you?” He cocked his head to the side.
“Dreaming…” I repeated and attempted to recall information about the subject. “I know about dreams, it’s been mentioned a few times, yes. But...I don’t really know what they are,” I admitted.
“Do you want me to try and explain?” He asked.
I nodded enthusiastically and he stretched in preparation, as I let my head rest on my tail.
“Dreams are made by the subconscious, so the part of your brain that observes throughout your life quietly. When the main part of your dream falls asleep during the night, your subconscious creates new scenarios out of those experiences. Dreams often follow very little actual logic and you aren’t able to control your actions or what happens in them, well, mostly. Some people believe that you can learn about a person’s mental state if you analyze their dreams since it is supposed to be one’s truest self, but there hasn’t really been much proof of that.”
“So is there a way to control them?” I followed up.
“There is, but it’s not something I have really looked into. It’s called lucid dreaming, something about activating your brain within a dream and figuring out that you are in a dream,” he explained.
“How do you know you aren’t just dreaming while awake, how do I know I’m not dreaming right now?” My eyes went wide and I looked around as if the world would just disappear around me.
“If you can ask yourself the question if you are dreaming, you probably aren’t,” he chuckled and assured. “But if you wanna find out, some people pinch themselves.”
I pinched my tail and waited. Luis stared with raised eyebrows and a scrunched expression. A bit of air escaped his lips, which were curled up until it dissolved into laughter.
“Oh no, I’m vanishing, aaaahhh ,” he yelled out while throwing his arms up, though he severely lacked enthusiasm.
“You’re stupid,” I pouted, as I lightly slapped him on the hand with my tail.
But he caught it. His fingers locked around the tip of my tail and held it in place.
“How dare you?!” I acted offended, playing into his obvious amusement.
He brought it eye-level and seemed to inspect it while glancing in my direction. “You started it,” he mused and I wiggled it around a little.
It was almost as thick as his arm, yet he grasped around it firmly. The warmth radiating off of his hand, the softness of his skin, the way he looked at me with it in hand. Warmth rose up to my face and I felt compelled to look away, but I couldn’t tear my vision from him.
“You’re scales feel nice,” he commented quietly.
‘Respond, say something, anything!’ “Thanks.” ‘Anything but that!’
Luis cleared his throat and loosed his grip on my tail. I retracted it and pretended to be bothered by a speck of dirt under my claws.
“You hungry?” He broke the tense silence we had just created.
“Yes, what do you have in mind?” I took him up on the change of subject.
“Well, you could either help make tortellini again or we rummage through the backpack and see what else I have in there,” he motioned to the filled rucksack resting against the table below him.
“I’d like you to show me how you made those tor-tell-ini,” I sounded out the syllables for the word, much to the seeming amusement of Luis.
“I didn’t make them, they’re vacuum-sealed in bags, not even sure where they came from. They’re uncomplicated, you just have to heat them in water. I’ll go fetch some, you unpack two portions, then I will show you how the heater works,” Luis said and grabbed the pot.
I unzipped the pouch in which the food was kept and produced two white plastic bags, on which were tiny letters and labels. The human slipped out of the door and shut it behind him, trying to contain any warmth within. I sliced the bags open with my claws and looked inside. The rounded and folded pieces inside were more rigid and stiff than previously and smelled of nothing particular.
Shortly after, Luis returned. He shivered once inside and the hair on his arms and hands stood tall, while his skin had tiny bumps at the base of the strange strands. He displayed the pot filled with river water and set it down on the table. He grabbed the foldable construct of the burner alongside the small gas canister.
“Left it closed, right is open,” he explained by pointing at the valve at the top of the red capsule. Next, he showed the burner and how to unfold it, till it stood on three prongs; the visual reminded me strangely of a sectopod. “There is a regulator for air and one for closing and shutting, starting, just turn them all to shut,” he instructed and handed me the burner.
I followed his instructions and twisted until I could twist no more. I glanced up to see his reaction and I got an approving nod in return.
“The gas in here will last for seven hours on medium heat, you just attach it tightly at the bottom there,” he handed me the canister, too.
I did as told and the valve clicked. Turning it on was quick, thanks to a box of matchsticks, and I set it down on the table, close to a cracked window. He set the pot atop and poured the packets in.
“Again, low heat or they’ll burst. Just let that sit a little and that’s already it,” he shrugged.
I sunk back down in my coils and watched the water simmer. Luis leaned against the walls and observed as well. A few times, I caught his eyes travel to the corner of his vision and landing on me, though he always flicked back away before I had a chance to meet him. Neither talked, which turned into an otherwise opressing silence, only broken by the burning gas, slowly simmering water, chirping birds, and the distant creaking of trees.
There was something unsaid between us, many things even, and many more we didn’t even think about. But we both knew that we couldn’t ignore an obvious thing, Luis’ belief that we were being hunted.
“Why will this Emir come after you?” I broke the standstill.
“Because he knows I will survive out here, that I have not died yet. Those men are dead and even if you hadn’t intervened and become a factor, he would still have to kill me,” Luis continued to look anywhere in the room but me.
“I understand that, my question was why you need to be dead, why is it important for them, even over killing me?” I had to keep picking away at him, but I felt like I was getting better at it.
Especially when he now turned over his shoulder to look at me. “Because they broke the standstill and he is afraid that I will tell Xcom what they did. He took that deal, I think he knows more about them than he showed me, maybe they even told him what they actually were. He fucked up by letting them try to kill me, it almost went wrong for him on the initial conversation, he’ll come for me himself.”
“And nobody wants Xcom finding out that they not only, broke their ceasefire, but also posed as Xcom,” I concluded.
“There we go,” he smirked and nodded slowly while scratching his forehead.
“How long do we have?” I asked.
“That, my dear non-snake, I do not know.” He sighed afterward.
“Then we have to prepare, we can set traps, decoys, use fire, and the terrain to our advantage. Or we can set tracks leading into different directions and hide for a while, then return to an area they have already searched,” I began suggesting.
“That’s all well and good, the bad part about that is that they have as much time as they need. If there is no evidence that we are actually gone, they won’t fall for that. A firefight will result in many complications when the enemy has a hovercraft and you have two pistols, an SMG, and a rifle with twelve bullets,” he countered.
“I haven’t checked the entire hut yet, the garage is locked, let’s get that open and see if there are any supplies left,” I put forth.
“There isn’t anythin-” He paused and his jaw hung open slightly. He immediately sprung up and into action, startling me a little. He hastily frisked his backpack and grabbed a box of small metal sticks, then stormed outside.
I was so taken aback by this, that it took me a moment to figure I should follow him; though not before shutting the gas cooker off.
“What is going, Luis?” I yelled after him while slithering out into the clearing.
The sun had now climbed over the peaks to our side and heated the air by a few degrees, still, it was cold. Luis had already rounded the small cabin and I just caught a glimpse of him.
“There is a fucking radio in that boat!”