She looked down at the ground in disappointment, wondering where her hours spent studying had gone. All that wasted time, and for what? She lamented in sorrow, wishing that something could take her back to the moments before she got this news. Oh, what she would give to do so! Sadly, reality wasn't so merciful. She had to take the news without complaint, and suck it up.

She hated how uncaring life could be, to knock some people down or lift some people up. It was totally random, almost like a lottery. She looked up at the starry night sky, searching for the star she called hers, realising that not all was lost, and that she still had family. Though what use was a family that ignored her existence and treated her worse than garbage?

She looked around at her surroundings, completely aware that people were staring at her like she was crazy. And she didn't blame them. I mean, she knew she was crazy for standing in the middle of the broken train tracks staring at the sky, lost in thought.

She had often wondered who created such an uncaring, relentless world, but then realised that it wouldn't matter, as they wouldn't care about it in any significant, relevant way. They'd probably just acknowledge that this flawed world existed and move on like it didn't matter one bit.

She hated the reality of life, but could do nothing to stop time flowing by, creating more and more imbalances the longer it existed. Sure, there were some good people in the world, but what did that truly matter, since the other 99% were either lazy or didn't care? It was useless to go against the world and she knew it. Yet she still tried. And look where that put her! In the middle of nowhere, staring up at the sky like an idiot, searching for made-up answers to riddles that don't have any solutions.

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She was such an idiot for trusting her mum, her dad, her older sister, and her aunt. They were all delusional if they thought she could do it, since she obviously couldn't. She failed. That's all the facts she needed to accept defeat and fall into the welcoming arms of the abyss. She felt safe and protected there. She felt warm and comforted there. But she felt no happiness there. Her happiness was long gone, stolen by her ex. Her stupid, controlling, cheating ex that she had loved with everything she had in her. And her ex stole everything she was, her happiness, her hope, her love, and most importantly, her determination to challenge the world. It was all gone. Stolen. And she'll never get it back.

It was better this way. Less hurt. Less pain. More comfort. More relief. She felt satisfied knowing that her hard work was all for nothing. Which was a strange thing to feel satisfied with, but it made sense to her, and that was all that mattered.

Maybe someday, somewhere, her work had meaning, but right now it had none, lost in the meaningless abyss of sorrow and despair, never to be found again. It was safer this way. It was better this way. No-one cared about her, and she liked it that way. That meant that no-one would be stupid enough to save her from this place, or idiotic enough to help her attain hope again.

It was safer this way.

It was better this way.

This was the way she wanted it.

This was the way she liked it.

This was the way it would always be.

Just...

Like..

This.