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Chapter 34: No Pain No Gain

Chapter 34: No Pain No Gain

In. Out. In. Out. Jen slowly relaxed into the now familiar rhythm, easily reaching a meditative state before she suddenly stopped, breaking the rhythm. Despite being extremely useful for focusing inwards, meditation had become a Skill that increased her mana regeneration while active. While this effect was generally beneficial, having it active would make it far harder to determine if her experiments were having an effect.  Meditation was an extraneous variable that she could afford to remove.

“I’ll have to try not activating skills some other time.” Jen muttered, before going back to her experiment, this time keeping a subtle tension running along her spine to prevent herself from accidentally activating Meditation. She started by pulling as much mana as she could away from her chest, timing her efforts to her inhalations.

Jen alternated her attention between her mana system and her lungs, aiming to either better understand the flows of her mana, or attempting to use Mana Manipulation and Mana Control to pull invisible particles of mana from her lungs into her body. She even attempted to make those particles more visible, attempting to inhale globes of mana extruded onto her hand with little success. When that failed, she tried extruding mana directly into her lungs, but even after succeeding and then trying with the knowledge that there was mana right there to absorb, she was unable to reabsorb any at all. The warmer air from decaying mana leaving her body as she exhaled did lead to an idle thought of breathing fire, but she pushed the daydream aside and returned to her practice.

Eventually Jen got up, stretched her arms and legs, cracked her back and neck, summoned a light and her status window, and sighed. A quick check confirmed that no new skill had been created. Jen dismissed the window without looking at any of the other notifications, not wanting to get distracted from her goal. Perhaps a different tactic was needed. She settled herself back down and then poured as much mana as she could into Mana Bolts, before using the dregs to shape her surroundings like clay into a short table.

With less mana to fight against, it was far simpler to keep her chest mana system clear, pushing the mana towards her hands where she used Stone Shaping as necessary to prevent unmanageable buildup from occurring. Yet despite this setup, something was still missing. It didn’t feel as if she was breathing in mana to absorb; the slowly filling system instead relying only on her own regeneration. For comparison, Jen began to push mana out of her core as well, only to confirm that both locations had the same slow steady flow of mana welling up within them. Jen felt like she was on the right track, but she had no idea what the next step towards success was.

Not willing to give up just yet, Jen turned once more to her first tool in learning the system, and the source of more insights than she would have predicted possible. Grabbing an anti-magic mushroom out of her pouch, she took a small nibble off the cap before turning her focus back inwards.

In. Out. She kept her breath steady, braced against the inevitable pain. Even then, the shock took her by surprise. Jen fell off her seat and curled up on the floor clutching her stomach as she desperately tried to understand just why it had hurt so much more than the discomfort she had gotten used to over her last few meals.

The anti-magic mushrooms had an amazing capacity to absorb mana and convert that resource into raw growth. Even chewed up, a portion of that ability remained as a poison, with each bite ingested taking a toll on the mana available to her. Jen’s increasing mana pool size and regeneration rates afforded her the ability to use them as a food source by giving her enough mana in her core to neutralize the mushrooms without having to pull mana from the rest of her body like she had when she first discovered them. Her increased mana and pain resistance had made eating them tolerable, but this time she had been keeping her mana as close to zero as possible. Jen had no mana at all to neutralize the poison, and she distantly wondered just how bad things could get as she tried to ride out the pain.

Like a wildfire the agony blazed through her body, rushing along empty mana channels, and down her limbs, leaving her weak and trembling. With her whole body now screaming out in pain, Jen thought things had reached their limit, only to spasm as something in her core gave way. After an eternity, the pain began to dim, and Jen turned her attention inwards.

While the pain was still too fresh for her to be happy with her actions, she was still grateful for the knowledge she had earned. Jen had previously believed that 0 Mana meant that she had no mana left in her body, and until now the stable level she had been able to reduce her mana to had seemed to bear that out. She had reached rock bottom, with nothing left to give up, until the anti-magic poison came along and dug a metaphorical basement in her core, giving Jen the insight she needed.

Jen had never absorbed ambient mana in any of her tests. The mushroom was capable of absorbing ambient mana. When Jen was out of mana, the anti-magic mushroom had still absorbed mana from her. Ergo, Jen still possessed some level of ambient mana, and this ambient mana was increasing the difficulty of drawing mana out of the air. 

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Now though, Jen had a rare opportunity, her mana levels had been forcibly lowered below the ambient level, painful as it was, providing a way forward.  Using every speck of Mana Control and Mana Manipulation that she had earned, Jen began pulling at the mana returning to her chest, attempting to maintain the void she had been shown. This time she didn’t bother to try and control her breathing, opting for great, heaving breaths that helped with the pain still running through her body.

She still couldn't sense the ambient mana and was in no shape to keep a close eye on her internal mana levels. All she could do was to hold the hole upon as long as possible, gritting her teeth as it slowly shrunk down to nothing, not leaving any trace behind.

Suddenly lightheaded, Jen collapsed backwards, toppling over as her head swum and throbbed. As soon as she could concentrate again, Jen activated Meditation, using the quiet space it provided to try and figure out the aftereffects of her most recent test. Her first priority was to study her mana system as closely as possible, trying to spot any flaws or weaknesses she might have introduced. It looked much like it always had to Jen’s relief. 

The existence of a Health pool and regeneration rate gave Jen the last bit of confidence she needed to believe things would turn out alright. The safety net it provided allowed her to try actions she wouldn’t otherwise, trusting that the System would help mitigate and undo any longer-term negative effects. It seemed set up that way, given that so much information about the System’s functionality was left for people to uncover by themselves. If the cost of experimental failure was too high it would paralyze progress, hindering whatever goals the System Creators might have. Eating anti-magic mushrooms might be unusual and outside expected behaviour, but Jen believed the consequence was simply the pain, not unforeseen death.

Now confident that she wasn’t about to drop over dead, Jen was left with a choice. Her natural mana regeneration had restored enough mana for her to make a light, allowing her to check her Status and either confirm or disprove the benefits of her test if she wanted to. The other option was to keep pushing forwards, trying it again to either feel the skill in use, or make another attempt at forming it..

She knew that the reward mechanisms that the system provided were addictive but telling herself that helped only so much. A part of Jen wanted nothing more than to check her status, to give up if she hadn’t gained a skill, or to use the system assistance to help train it going forwards instead of painfully figuring it out by herself. But Jen didn’t want her autonomy to be subsumed by the System. She didn’t want to find herself only doing what something else told her to do, pursuing virtual rewards with no real sense of direction. So she spoke aloud, challenging the world and herself with her thoughts.

“Despite the pain, despite the time and the effort, despite my doubts and the difficulty of it all, do I think that what I’m trying has enough value to keep pursuing, regardless of what the system says?.” Jen let the words echo around the cavern, before letting out a big sigh and returning her attention to the partially eaten mushroom. With great deliberation she broke off another piece, holding it in one hand as she cast Mana Bolt with the other, draining herself to empty once more.

Even though the mushroom flesh only weighed a few ounces, the act of lifting it to her mouth had a strange weight to it. The pain it had caused was still freshly seared into her brain and body, and every moment that she hesitated was another second of regeneration to blunt the pain. The longer she stalled, the easier eating the mushroom would be. Easier, but less effective for her goals. Jen never was the sort of person to take the easy way out. It would have been easy to go for a degree in a more traditional field than Physics. It would have been easier to keep her head down, and just pass her classes, instead of fighting for the same attention and respect that her male peers received automatically. It would have been easier to take an internship in her home state, instead of competing internationally for one of the few spots at ETRI here in Germany. Jen knew what the easy way looked like, and she knew it wasn't for her.

Grimacing, she ate the bite of mushroom. It didn’t matter if she wouldn’t earn a skill from this, or even any improvements to her existing skills. The first attempt had already helped Jen learn more about this new world she found herself in. She was sure there was more knowledge to be gleaned from observing what happened when her internal mana was below ambient levels. 

The pain was no less agonizing the second time, the small amount of mana Jen had regenerated offering little protection. Jen tried to ignore the pain, waiting for it to empty her system of ambient mana, but she still found herself clenching her teeth as tears slipped out of her eyes. The first time had been painful, but there was an innocence to it, it’s accidental nature not weighing so heavily on her thoughts as this pain brought about by her intentional actions. This experiment lasted longer than the previous attempt as well, thanks to a bit of foreknowledge. Jen was more prepared to take over the act of keeping her core empty, working through the pain as soon as the poison gave her an opening instead of waiting. Even with these advantages, the mana levels did rise back up to their ambient levels without any sudden shift in her capability that could be attributed to a new skill.

Jen managed one more bite, focusing less on duration and more on observation, before finally throwing in the towel. For the next few minutes she simply lay on her back, Meditating to restore her mana while the pain faded. Even if she hadn’t earned anything from the system, she was willing to call her experiments successful. She had a much better awareness of the state of her Mana Pool, and she could feel her control of mana was improved. With her newfound skill it was easy to gather some mana up and expel it from her hand, finally taking a moment to see the results of her efforts summarized.

Mana Manipulation has gained 5 levels and is now Lvl 12.

Pain Resistance has gained 3 levels and is now Lvl 11.

Determination has gained 3 levels and is now Lvl 11.

Mana Control has gained 2 levels and is now Lvl 6.

Stone Shaping has gained 3 levels and is now Lvl 4.

Mana Bolt has Gained 2 levels and is now Lvl 3.

Poison Resistance has gained 2 Levels and is now Lvl 13.

Plant Growth has gained 1 Level and is now Lvl 2.

Congratulations! You have learned the skill Devouring Void Lvl 1.

Devouring Void: By focusing while extremely low on mana, you can absorb mana from your surroundings.

By absorbing ambient mana, the Thaumovore Path is now open to you..

Jen smiled. The painful aftershocks turned it into a grimace but didn’t affect the relief and happiness she was feeling.  Not only had she succeeded in gaining the skill she was after, but many of her other skills had also benefited from the difficult trials she had set for herself. She also now had more than enough Path Points to complete the Mana Mastery Path and make progress on another path besides. It was time to learn some more magic.