I was wrong.

A paldean would never invent a motorcycle.

People jealous of paldeans would.

The miles melted away under the steady stride of the cyclizars. We weren’t even going top speed yet conversation was light as the air rushed past us. Vito and Maria had doubled up, and the incline as we ascended through the foothills had the cyclizars taking a more sedate pace of forty miles per hour.

I spent most of the ride studying the pokemon. Cyclizar was one of only two Dragon and Normal type pokemon. Both of those were very mellow compared to other dragons. Drampa was a kindly dragon that loved children and hated bullies. They’d even go so far as to burn down the bully's home. Their name was only one letter off from Grampa for a reason. Cyclizar on the other hand carried themselves more with what people associated with draconic pride and less draconic rage. They resembled a sporty motorcycle with legs. They had large expressive eyes in place of headlights and a wide mouth often set in a smile. On its back was a padded bony like structure shaped like a seat. When someone was riding them they inflated this great sack that resembled a wheel from under their neck and proudly showed it off as a display of their health and strength.

The species got along very well with humans. Being cold blooded the body heat of a rider kept them warm and the companionship kept them happy. Supposedly people had been riding them for at least 10,000 years. In my old world that would mean the two species had been working together since the last ice age. If the pokemon world went through ice ages then the keeping warm part actually made even more sense. I could envision it a bunch of cyclizars running across the open tundra, human hunters acting like heaters clinging to their back as they took down Mamoswine. Cyclizars were like giant lizard dogs that people rode, which was actually really cool.

Eventually we slowed to a more reasonable twenty miles per hour letting us comfortably talk again.

“We’re getting close.” Vito said after a glance at his phone. “I don’t think we ever asked. Why Dark Cave?”

“I need to build up my team.” I paused before continuing, “There’s two pokemon that would work well for it in the area.”

“New trainer? All we’ve seen is Mal.” Maria asked.

“Yep, I was a research assistant before this. Finally getting to go on a journey.” I was sticking with a modified version of the researcher backstory that I had initially given Mr.P. It could help explain away some of my more odd knowledge. I also just might be able to pass some stuff off as technobabble of some sort if I brought up something I shouldn’t have in a conversation.

“Congrats” Vito smiled, “If you don’t mind me asking what pokemon are you looking for?”

“I don’t mind, dunsparce and teddiursa. I want at least one of them before moving on to Violet.” Though if it really came down to it I’d get a pidgey or maybe shake a bunch of trees and get lucky with an aipom. Either of them could be strong given the time and effort.

Maria raised her hand, “I vote dunsparce too cute not to have one.”

Dunsparce were cute in a kind of derpy way. They had a mishmash of features, a drill for a tail, two little prongs jutting out from under its mouth, a large head and an almost fat pancake-like body with some stripes on top of it. It had two tiny little wings that let it hover and float a little off the ground. It had large eyes that made it look like it was asleep most of the time. Yet somehow they were said to be extremely graceful pokemon, appearing calm and untroubled in their movements.

I vaguely remembered them being based off of a japanese cryptid and something about a hammer. That might help explain why they were so damn rare if they were some sort of japanese bigfoot snake.

“They can be pretty strong.” Vito admitted, “Larry has a Dudunsparce.”

A dudunsparce was the evolved form of dunsparce, they gained one or rarely two extra pancake like segments and some extra wings for the most part. There were plenty of clips with Larry using them in his gym. They usually served a bit as a wallbreaker, just pure attacking with nothing fancy, or with a few simple status moves they acted to check against cheeky challengers that attempted set up strategies. It was overall a really simple and straightforward use of them that you would expect from someone like Larry.

However, Dunsparce could learn a frankly ridiculous amount of coverage moves. Those moves were also often the strongest moves of their type,Thunder, Fire Blast, Blizzard, Solar Beam the list just went on and on. I think the only type of move they couldn’t actually learn was Fairy. Just another reason I thought that Normal type was the basis from which all other types came from.

Normal got to learn such a wide range of moves. At one extreme there was Smeargle who could learn nearly any move after having sketched it and at the other was Ditto that only knew one move but it let them turn into any pokemon and then use their moves. Those two were some of the more absurd Normal types with massive potential.

Pokemon had access to infinite energy. Lonnie called it something else, something with an A, maybe As something… I didn’t like to think too hard about the exact mechanics of how infinite energy worked or how this world hadn’t been blown up yet. Still I couldn’t really help myself. How did pokemon actually use their energy? How did types function? Did the energy have some sort of base form? Just how did it all work?

I wanted to understand this world.

It was one of the reasons I was having Mal try to learn Ice Beam as an Ice type. I could experiment and try to figure things out. A dunsparce could be really good as a way to see how pokemon learned moves of other types.

If a swiss army knife was a pokemon it would be dunsparce. They could learn moves to fulfill just about any role you needed for your team. But the cost for TMs or move tutors and the time investment could be massive and made me a bit hesitant.

“Yeah, they can be really strong. Larry uses it mostly as a physical attacker but I think they can do better as a sort of mixed attacker or a light set up sweeper.” I answered. Without the four move limit dunsparce could run all the coverage moves. However, the sweeper role would be easier to pull off. I wouldn’t need any TMs or anything but it just didn’t feel quite right.

“Really a set up sweeper?” Maria asked with some skepticism.

“Paraflinch.”

The word felt dirty.

“What’s that?”

“Uh… don’t worry about it.” I drifted off into silence.

I don’t know how I’d feel if I introduced that to this world.

Paraflinch first paralyzed the opponent and was then followed up with moves that could cause flinching. Essentially the moves were painful and disrupted the concentration of the pokemon on the receiving end. It was kind of hard for someone to actually battle if they couldn’t actually get a move off past the pain and the paralysis. If they did get a move off well, Dunsparce could learn Roost and just heal the damage away. It was a pretty damn ruthless and efficient way to battle. It was also the most efficient and easiest way to use Dunsparce as a set sweeper.

However, it just didn’t feel right to me. There was something off it. It wasn’t balanced, it wasn’t… normal?

“Ah, Teddiursa are cute as well.” Vito added to fill the lull in the conversation.

“They are.” I agreed.

They were cute and would in time be very strong. Their final evolution Ursaluna was lost to this world, which wasn’t really surprising. How many people were hanging out in swamps or bogs with a bear during a full moon?

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Ursaluna was probably one of the strongest Normal types I could possibly get my hands on. It hit harder than a snorlax, could take hits almost as well and wouldn’t bankrupt me trying to feed it. There probably wasn’t a better wall breaker in the entire type. Mons tanky enough that Mal might have trouble with Ursaluna would demolish. They were also really straight forward without any complicated strategies. No cheeky pseudo protean type change like with Mal, just a massive bear that hit really hard.

Up ahead a sign came into view pointing towards another trail off of the main path.

Dark Cave RT. 31 Main Entrance 4 miles.

“This is it.”

The cyclizars came to a stop. We dismounted and said our goodbyes. I thanked them and they wished me luck. Vito mentioned that I should visit paldea sometime. I like to think I held back my wince. We exchanged numbers and after seeing them off a tap on my phone had Mal rejoin me.

“Gon.” he greeted me. The cyclizars had moved too fast for his flight to keep pace.

“Hey buddy. We have a little hike and then we’ll find someplace to set up camp.” I gave a pet to his side as he floated next to me. “Now let’s keep working on your type changing. Fighting.”

His eyes glowed briefly as he began to change.

The trail we traveled was a pretty well worn and established dirt path, a few rough stairs had been created in the steeper sections. Dark Cave and the surrounding area was a fairly common side trip for new trainers heading for Violet City. More than a few trainers came here in search of geodude. Violet city was a flying gym and the rock type could be an immense help against it.

We passed a lot of caterpie and a few weedles during the hike. The odd metapod could be spotted in the branches and I think I briefly caught sight of a butterfree in the distance.

We did end up fighting a bug catcher that challenged us. He had three metapods that all spammed Harden and then tried to Tackle Mal. Mal won pretty easily due to how immobile they were. He could just fly around out of their reach and spam thundershock at them. Honestly if I were the bugcatcher I would have tried to get the metapods to move around using String Shot.

Normal 2 Bug 0

I am counting that beedrill. I don’t care that it didn’t have a trainer.

We briefly stopped again when we caught sight of a group of bellsprout running around on their odd little root legs in a clearing just off the path. One would run around chasing the others trying to touch them with their leaves. They would bend their bodies in all sort of odd ways that would make a contortionist jealous to avoid being touched. Eventually one was touched on the head after trying a move reminiscent of the matrix movies and falling over when its head unbalanced it. They quickly started chasing after the others. I tried and failed to hold back a laugh that startled them. The whole group went fleeing into the bushes. I smiled as we kept moving.

A massive cavernous entrance into the mountain greeted us at the end of the hike. This was one of the more well known entrances into the caves and caverns that honeycombed the entire mountain range and extended for miles in all directions. It was unlikely they would ever all be mapped. With the parts of the cave system that were mapped, someone could travel from one side of the mountain range all the way to the other through the darkness. You’d have to be very experienced or foolish to do so.

An emergency phone for the Rangers, powered by a solar panel stood a few yards from the entrance. The area had been cleared of trees enough that a flying pokemon could comfortably land near the entrance.

Caves could be extremely dangerous.

If you were brave or more likely foolish enough I suspected you might be able to walk all the way to Sinnoh through the caves; they were just that extensive. Sinnoh, the region just to the north of Johto, had a series of massive caves and caverns that extended throughout the entire region called the Grand Underground. There were entire forests, swamps, deserts and more down there. It was pokemon’s own little inner earth. Some of the pokemon that lived down there might not even know there was a surface. I wanted to explore it someday. There was a hisuian form of a pokemon I was interested in that might still be alive down there in those depths.

We slowly approached the entrance. The afternoon sun cut through the deep darkness of the cave letting me see about twenty feet into it. I could understand why Flash was needed to explore it in the games. Inky black darkness stretched before us. A steady sound could be heard coming from within the cave accompanied by the sound of wings flapping.

“Zu, zu, zu.”

It seemed to echo endlessly.

“Yeah, we are not going in there.”

Mal nodded in agreement.

We didn’t actually need to go into the main cave entrance. There were dozens if not hundreds of smaller entrances hidden around the mountainside, some natural, some dug by pokemon. Those smaller entrances probably held a better chance for us to find them. Dunsparce and teddiursa were rather rare pokemon that were unlikely to be anywhere near a well known path frequented by trainers.

We spent an hour hiking around the area looking for a decent camping spot and finally settled on an area next to a nearby pond. A group of poliwag played in the shallows and greeted us when we approached. The spiral on their belly moved around from time to time. Mal played with them as I set up camp.

I expected that we would be in the area for multiple days for our search. Hopefully no longer than a week. The cult had supplied me with a Devon corp backpack. It was bigger on the inside most likely thanks to infinite energy fuckery. It was pretty much a bag of holding. What was Clarke’s law again? Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Should I be concerned that a cult was giving me magic items? Bag of holding or super advanced tech there was still only so much it could carry. We had about a week then we’d have to push on or backtrack for supplies.

Finished with the tent I took a step back to admire my handiwork. A hint of yellow in the bushes caught my eye.

I couldn’t be that lucky.

I shouldn’t be that lucky.

“Mal.” I softly called, not taking my eyes away from the yellow and now blue that I saw hidden amongst the leaves.

“Poree?”

“Quick.” My voice grew urgent, I could make out the stripes.

He floated over and settled next to me. Sad “Poli”s could be heard in his wake. I pointed to the dunsparce in the bushes.

Mal nodded.

I took one step.

A branch snapped under my foot.

The dunsparce raised its head, its eyes opening up just a crack as it turned towards us. The drill on its tail started turning with an odd humming noise.

It opened its mouth letting out a lazy sounding, “Dunnnnn…”

“Thundershock.” I ordered.

Mal sent a small bolt of electricity towards the dunsparce.

Dunsparce hopped up about five feet off the ground, somehow gracefully dodging the attack with a little spin. It landed with its tail sticking in the ground. Dirt went flying as its drill bit into the soft earth and it disappeared down the hole. A faint almost hissing “Ceeee” could be heard before it faded.

I sighed.

“Reee.”

“I hear that buddy.”