"Mr. Pokemon is sus as fuck and one really scary old man."

"Lonnie, people don't use sus anymore. Also, who?" I ask. He didn't sound like an important npc. The name was a bit odd having pokemon in it. But then again, I found characters using a term that meant pocket monsters to refer to the creatures of their world that had been running around for millions of years before pockets existed a little strange as well.

"I expected better." Lonnie grins at me looking up from his DS. He had recently started up a new playthrough of Heart Gold. The soundtrack had been our constant companion the past few days, as if it were a third roommate. "You have brought shame down upon your gym. He's one of the most important people in Johto but seems like a complete nobody. He's more important than Professor Elm."

"That's a really low bar. Elm doesn't even introduce you in his own game. But still enlighten me." I could feel another one of Lonnie's crazy theories coming

"True. So when you start up a game you pretty much always have a fetch quest or an errand from a professor right?"

I nodded along, I think I was starting to remember. I usually spent a lot of time in the post game so that first half hour of a game was usually a little fuzzy.

Elm in the originals had a specialty focused on pokemon eggs. Supposedly he had found the first one ever. Which is completely laughable and retconned in the remakes. Instead his specialty was evolution, except that's the specialty for Rowan in Sinnoh who was way more important. To put it kindly, when Sycamore from Kalos studied under a professor with a specialty in evolution it wasn't Elm that he chose.

The opening in the remake was more or less the same. Some old man has an egg for Elm to examine. So Elm gives you a pokemon and sends you out to get it for him. "Is Mr. Pokemon the old man you get the egg from?"

"It all starts with an egg." Lonnie replied as if it was some great truth.

"How is he important? He gives you the egg, you take it to Elm who after studying it a bit gives it back. I'm not exactly seeing how this guy is important." I turned to my laptop and brought up Mr. Pokemon's wiki page. I skimmed it, it was only a few paragraphs, it really just seemed like the dude was an item dispenser. I wouldn't even call him a quest giver.

"Where'd he get the egg?" Lonnie prods.

"Says here the Kimono girls gave it to him."

Lonnie gives a wide smile "Yeah, the mother fucking Kimono girls and those bitches got it through time travel."

I felt it starting, yet another Lonnie induced headache but I had to know more. "So the girls that dance and love everything Eevee time traveled, took an egg from somewhere and gave it to Mr. Pokemon?"

"Nah man they didn't do the time traveling." Lonnie paused in consideration before continuing. "They maybe could, if they really wanted to. Their bro did invent a time machine."

"Bill?" He had invented the PC storage and transfer system. That was the thing that allowed you to store your pokemon in a digital format. Or well maybe storing them as energy was a better way to put it. Everytime you used it you were turning pokemon into energy or energy into pokemon, kind of like how a pokeball worked. I didn't look too much into it, it was all infinite energy fuckery.

In every region there was someone working to upkeep Bill's network. He was also credited with inventing a time machine to trade between the first and the second generations of the games. If only Bill had a friend named Ted.

"Yeah that dude. He's related to them and they have crazy connections. But the egg came from Celebii. Togepi are ancient pokemon. Celebii takes the eggs timetravels and gives them out like the Easter bunny." Lonnie helpfully explains before pausing and adding, "You even meet one of the Kimono girls in Ilex forest. She pretends to be lost and shit but really she's there to check on the shrine."

"I see." Assuming he was being serious, a Celebii did live in the Ilex forest in Johto. There was even an event with the GS ball coded for the shrine in the games. The Togepi line was extremely rare; there were maybe six npc trainers and Cynthia that used them. Dex entries did mention Togepi only appearing in times of peace. That did sound like Johto; it was peaceful with no world ending plots. "So why do they give the egg to Mr. Pokemon?"

"Simple, he's the front man for the cult. The girls want to groom up a strong trainer to bring back the big bird that flew off. The egg is a test to get the bird back to the nest." Lonnie gave a smug smile.

Lonnie really did a shit job at explaining things... There was a cult now? Something about grooming and how had I missed a cuIt?

I sighed, I needed to focus on the facts I knew.

What did I know about the Kimono girls? They really liked Eevees, the family used nothing but Eeveelutions. Bill's mother used to be one now that I thought about it. His sister might have become one? They were based in Ecruteak City, the cultural heart of Johto and ran the dance theater.

Ecruteak had been home to the Brass tower where Lugia used to perch before it burned. The Bell tower where Ho-Oh used to reside was just to the north of it. The girls wanted to bring Lugia or Ho-Oh back depending on the game version. The bell needed to summon the respective bird was in their possession, and they would test if the player was worthy before summoning it through some sort of dance ritual. They maybe were a little culty, though shrine maidens might be a better way to describe them.

"So ignoring the cult comment. Strong trainer, bring the bird back, and the egg is a test. Mr. Pokemon passes off the egg to Elm. Elm is familiar with the trainers of the region as he gives out the starters and would know who to give it to."

Lonnie snaps his fingers, "Eggxactly. A Kimono girl is even there to watch the hand off of the egg from Elm's assistant to the player. They gotta make sure Elm doesn't fuck up with the pick after all."

I hold in a groan and ignore the pun, "Okay, assuming this all checks out it's maybe a little sketchy. This kind of religious cult is testing and maybe manipulating the player a little. But, how is Mr. Pokemon scary?"

"He's a 'casual pokemon researcher' that travels around collecting stuff." Lonnie actually did air quotes. "That's his cover. He's actually out there doing ops for the cult as they set up and run some stuff in other regions. He's the public face that those in the know can contact. When you meet him he's in the middle of doing a handoff."

I nod showing I was kind of following. A cult with the Kimono girls at the center that apparently spanned multiple regions, time traveling eggs and Mr. Pokemon as some sort of secret cult agent that traveled around for them.

"So like you meet Mr. Pokemon the first time and Samuel fucking Oak the man that anoints legends like Red is in the room. The dude lives up to his name." Lonnie chuckles at a joke only he seems to get. "Anyway, Oak is visiting Mr. Pokemon. He's not visiting his colleague Elm, that fucker is useless. Nope Oak is there just chilling on this dude's massive computers trying to pretend you don't exist. Oak is there for a handoff. He sees you haven't taken the hint and left yet so he gives you a shiny new pokedex. You're a ten year old just given a new toy so you high tail it out of there and use it to learn more about murder pets. With you gone they finish the handoff. Oak goes on to do his radio gig in Goldenrod and takes the train back to Kanto."

Lonnie maybe… had a point. Oak tended to only show up at really important locations. Oak's presence could easily be explained as just game design though. It was a pokemon game, the player needed a pokedex and Oak had invented it. The computer systems in Mr. Pokemon's home were a rather odd detail though. They were something you'd expect from Bill or one of his colleagues. "Lonnie, you haven't told me what they're handing off."

"Kay. Imagine you're Steven Stone and remember the game timeline."

I nodded. We were talking about the early generations. The events of Kanto and Hoenn take place at the same time. Johto was just after them in the timeline.

Lonnie continues, "So you're champion of Hoenn, two teams just tried to fuck your region up with magical mcguffins."

"The Orbs."

"Yep, you want that shit away from your region. You want the orbs protected, keep it secret keep it safe type shit. You also want them to still be useful." Lonnie smiles.

He's getting into it. I can feel the rant coming as my headache grows and he begins to talk faster.

"Johto has everything you need, baby! Being a champion you're in the know just like Oak is in the know. So you pass it off to Mr. P. He's strong enough to protect it and pass it off to the cult. The girls are the true champions of Johto and can protect the orbs for ya." He pauses briefly, maybe considering how to phrase the next part. "Even if the girls don't like you too much because well, your family did try to use human souls as a power source. Still Champions have to have each other's backs."

I started looking for the aspirin as he continued.

"The orbs are even still useful in Johto. It has its own Draconid made summoning tower, for Kyorge, Groudon and Rayray. But you never put your eggs in one basket, there's a third orb in the remakes, a Jade orb. That's for calling down Rayray. Mr. P hands that off for Oak to hold onto as a contingency. If stuff gets fucked and the other orbs are used then Oak can fly in summon Rayray the almighty Fug and fix things."

Aspirin obtained. I rubbed my forehead. Lonnie watched with a shit eating grin, before he began his ramblings again.

"Stick with me Gray. We're almost done with the orbs. Mr. P gets the okay to give you an orb after you become the best like no one ever was. He gives Oak a heads up to be on standby if needed. After you catch the legendary, you go back and show Mr.P he'll say some shit like 'Kimono Girls? I don't know such people. Tee hee…' In the end it's all about keeping Johto and the cult strong. They have to…"

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

I rested my head on my desk and just let the madness wash over me…

----------------------------------------

… I should have paid more attention to the cult bit. I sigh feeling a headache starting. I reach for the tea which Helga allows.

A group of pidgeys fly overhead, their shadows briefly ripple across the lawn as the Oddish dance under the berry trees.

Mr. Pokemon, the possible front man for a Johtoian cult, is content to just watch me for now.

Was what Lonnie said true? It had sounded like his normal off the wall theories at the time. Mr. Pokemon was almost impossibly well connected. There were pictures of Oak and Bill upstairs. I'm wearing a damn shirt advertising Ecruteak city, the home of the Kimono girls.

I paused wondering what he was reading in my aura. What could he read? Lies obviously, he had caught something early even with my half truths. Then he had spent hours testing my knowledge disguised as a tour of his collection. He could probably read my emotions as well. By his own admission he couldn't read minds, thank you sky lama. Damn it Lonnie, you said fuck all about him having aura bullshit.

Did Kimono girls really run a cult that spanned across regions?

My eyes wander over to the orbs.

We were in a mega-evolution timeline.

AZ had fired the big one.

Fuck Kalos.

I knew the timeline. I didn't know what sort of universe I was in. There were really only four possibilities; Anime, Manga, Games or a mixture. The orbs lying in front of me had been destroyed in the anime and manga. Yet they had also been shown to reform in the manga. They were theorized to be connected to the natural energy of Hoenn and so would always reform. The person that held onto them in the manga…

Bill, possible brother to the cult of Eevee loving Kimono girls.

Fuck.

I closed my eyes, focus was needed. Facts, always go back to the facts. Bill did not have the orbs. The Orbs weren't destroyed. Manga universe was ruled out. Anime was ruled out. I still needed to figure out what type of world I was in and there were two possibilities. A universe that was a mixture of the others, would be the hardest to handle. I would have no idea if my knowledge was valid or not. A game universe would be best. The Hoenn remakes with mega evolution were similar enough to their originals. If I was in some sort of Johto remake with mega-evolution equivalent then my knowledge would probably be good.

Could I take the gamble?

The orbs. They had been here in the Johto remakes and they were here now. There were constants, or events still played out roughly the same across timelines.

I opened my eyes. I had a path, I had a plan. I knew what I wanted and I knew who I was dealing with.

Mr. Pokemon broke the silence, "Helga dear you can take these back up stairs. It'll be a long talk."

It was just the two of us now, Helga had cleared the trays and the box. A Bellossom had begun to sing to the oddish from beneath a birch tree. Her soft melody carried on the wind.

I took a sip of the tea and tried to find the words. "I...I randomly appeared in the woods."

Mr.P raised an eyebrow questioningly, then nodded satisfied with whatever he had seen.

The silence stretched. He was willing to wait, watching as I built up the courage for what came next. Finally I broke the silence as our eyes met again.

"I have no money, no ID, and no connections. I only have Porygon and my knowledge..." I paused before continuing. "All I want to do is go on a Journey."

The next part came out quieter than I intended, "...it's always been a dream. "

I could envision it. Porygon floating besides me, walking down a dirt road with adventure around every bend. A team. I even knew where some of them might be found. Battles, real battles, gym badges, camping in the woods, discovering new and wonderful things. I wanted it all, I wanted a Journey.

Mr. Pokemon breaks the silence. "Thus the Faller story to try and obtain what you lack. Hoping someone would have pity and help you. Perhaps a league would set you up with something. However, there were simply too many gaps in your knowledge about some very basic things to sell it well. It's as if you had never met a real pokemon. Where exactly did you come from?"

"I came from a different universe without pokemon. It has some knowledge of this one."

He seemed to consider it for several long moments then asked "Not some sort of Mirror or Evil dimension? Planning an invasion, perhaps?"

"Uh, none of the above."

He twirled his mustache before replying, "No pokemon... I...What a tragedy. So you are not in fact an incompetent spy or some sort of infiltrator. Was 'China' your home region?"

I looked at him in confusion, "What makes you think I'm from China?

"It was written on many of the items in your bag. I examined them trying to determine your origin. There's no such region as China here and none of the brands on the items exist here." He chuckled, "If you had been a spy it would have been very sloppy to still have those labels."

"Ah..." I artfully replied. He had access to my stuff for who knows how many hours. If I can read unown script then he can read english.

"And where did Porygon come from if you had no pokemon?" Mr. Pokemon asks.

I shrug, "He kind of came to life on his own."

"Oh ho, I..." He trails off and it's silent for several long moments before he speaks. "Now that the Faller story has been put to rest. What will you do?"

"Try and trade my knowledge. Use it to get some resources and go on a Journey."

"And if no one believes your knowledge?"

It was time to take my gamble. "I know where the lost Bell might be."

He went completely still. His features and reactions schooled.

I grinned. So a Bell was lost.

If this was a game universe like I suspected. If Lonnie was right and Mr. Pokemon was the front man for a cult... Even if there wasn't a cult, those girls would be very interested in having one of their sacred artifacts returned to them.

It was a lot of ifs.

Eventually Mr. Pokemon lets out a long sigh, "I see. You said your world had 'some knowledge' of this one. I think we might have different understandings of the word some. To know that and to know or suspect my connections, that's a bit more than some knowledge."

His eyes went hard, "What would you do if I had it ripped from your mind and then had you killed?"

I meet his eyes. I had to hope I was right about just who I was dealing with.

"You wouldn't do it, not if you worship Ho-Oh." I pause struggling to call up a line from memory. It was ancient wisdom from a region connected very closely to Johto. "'All lives touch other lives to create something anew and alive.' Ho-Oh is a giver and protector of life not a taker."

When the Brass tower had burned Ho-Oh had taken pity upon the nameless pokemon that had perished within it. It had granted them life anew and so the legendary beasts were born. It had granted life to others a power it shared with Arceus. It was worthy of being called a phoenix. Ho-Oh's mere presence was said to be enough for it to bless those that saw it with a happy and long life. In Ecruteak there still lived a couple that had witnessed Ho-Oh at the tower that fateful night over a hundred and fifty years ago.

If I was wrong though...

I find my lips have gone dry. The man could see my aura. "You can see my aura the very energy of my life right now. Could you watch that flame sputter and be snuffed out?"

He laughs. It starts as a chuckle and then grows into a constant stream. As his laughter grows so does my worry. Had I really misjudged this?

Eventually he wipes tears from his eyes, "You'll do nicely."

He takes a sip of his tea, before saying words I wasn't expecting from him. "Gray, you'll have your Journey. I'll serve as your sponsor."

Sponsorship? Was he making a deal?

I start to speak, "The Bell..."

He silences me with a raised hand, "You are a young man and so have much yet to learn. Here are your first lessons."

"We must learn to walk in harmony and we are meant to walk together." He smiles, "Ask for help."

He chuckles, "The second lesson, you are entirely too young to try and quote scripture at me."

His eyes seem to flash as he grins evilly, "And the third, The chains of gratitude are much heavier than the chains of debt."

Lonnie was right, he is a scary old man.

----------------------------------------

Two hours later, found me back in the room I had awoken in.

A plethora of books, a laptop and other study materials were spread out across the bed. Nearby steam wafted up from a cup of tea. There was much I needed to learn and a month before the League season started. I got comfortable and grabbed Indigo League Rules and Regulations. It was a rather thick book but I had to start somewhere.

I chuckled yesterday you could say I had been dropped out of college and here I was about to hit the books.

I was interrupted by a cry of "Gon!" as a flurry of geometric shapes rushed out of my laptop and formed into Porygon.

"Ah hey there buddy. Were the computers and the Inter.. I mean Pokenet nice?" He had been missing most of the day, off exploring the great frontier of cyberspace presumably. Should I be worried about what kind of sites he might visit?

His eyes seem to smile as he wags his tail.

"Nice, we'll check it out together later." The pokenet should be something else.

I pause wondering how to phrase this next bit, "So… I think we might have joined a cult."

"Gon?"