My daughter, Ophelia Akachi, begins her first day of school today and I permit you to come along with her to the institution to explore Progressia, pathetically named, but I was not part of the committee so my hands remain clean. Her growth and development hinges on this arduous journey of self reflection and I deem you all worthy of participating in watching. I will say this once, hello mortals of Earth-421984pariahoftheflesh78, I see you are doing well and well you shall remain. This is neither a warning nor admission of your impeding demise, but fret not, this message is indeed important, and I graciously allow you to observe what I understand to be the greatest use of your time.