"Got anything?" Robin asked while watching his friend at work from the corner of his eyes. He was reviewing the camera footage from last night when someone had broken into S.T.A.R Labs at 1:19 A.M. The figure was definitely good, he could give them that much. It was only by sheer dumb luck that they even had the half minute long clip because an employee had forgotten something after locking up and accidentally triggered the alarms when they went back to get it.

6' maybe 6'2, their body was lean but well trained.

He enhanced the images on his wrist computer and enlarged a two still frame, giving him a front and side profile of the figure. He replayed the video for the 9th time. Their mysterious intruder was most likely a fighter with an acrobatic style judging by their build and muscle definition. Those well developed smaller stablizing muscles stated as much, he should know he was the same way.

With his mental profile complete with his limited information, Robin looked towards Beastboy in hopes of good news. There was a new unknown player in his city and he didn't like it.

The green bloodhound gave a loud whine before shifting back into a human with a sad shake of his head.

"Sorry, dude, but I can't smell anything. Well, anything that's not supposed to be here besides us."

"I'm not picking up anything on my scanner either. No finger prints, no strands of hair, heck not even so much as deadskin cells! It's like our mystery man's a ghost." Cyborg pitched in as his red eye searched the premises.

"Understood. Let's regroup with the others for now."

Robin had to hold in a scowl at having no lead. He hopped into the T-car while checking through the city's surveillance cams for any sign of the trespasser. This wasn't over, he could feel it in the pits of his gut, a long honed instinct from years of crime fighting in the worst shithole in Amerca.

This wasn't over, not by a long shot, whoever this masked criminal was- Robin would find them and put a stop to their villainous plans, he swears it.

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"psst, hey Vee, you think if we change cloths and circle around she won't notice?"

"...I'm in your head, you don't need to whisper Bai. And there's only one way to find out!"

Walking casually away, Bai threw away his cup into the trash can before seamlessly melding into the stream of people, all but disappearing within the traffic. Slipping away into the nearest bathroom and checking to ensure he was alone, his hobo attire changed into a bright red flanel and black slacks that ended just above his ankles and long socks. He had on blue sneakers and a pair of fake wide rimmed glasses grew on his face, highlighting his blue eyes as he touseled his hair with a bit of water and put on a black beanie.

Perfect! Just another hipster you see everyday. The only identifiable article of clothing he had on left was a white chain necklace with a series of looped through it. Tucking the necklace carefully beneath his shirt he walked back out while placing a soft smile on his face.

Hands in his pocket and a slight slouch to his back, his shoulders relaxed and slack.

A proper disguise was more than make-up or pair of clothes, it was a persona and in the subtler elements such as body language and word choice. It was time to put what he learned to the test, and he had learned from the best around. He could see his target now, standing beside a marble pillar 10 meters away. He could see the crinkles by her eyes and the small twitches her lips made every now and then. Hardly noticable to those who weren't paying attention, but unfortunately for her he was.

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5 meters.

The white of her knuckles clutching the metal tray was made obvious to his eyes, her eyes looked far away as she stood there "listening" to an older man rambling about something he didn't care to hear. She was probably fantasizing about braining the man with said tray.

2 meters. He casually walked past the two of them before turning his head back, eyes scanned across the area as if in consideration. His eyes glanced between it and another shop a bit down before he finally decided that, yes, he would indeed try it out. He stood in line behind the other man who quickly left after the girl informed him that she would not be giving him her number.

"Hi, welcome to Cold Stone, would you like a free sample?" She asked with a smile, teeth and all, and he had to take a minute to appreciate her skills. Natasha would've made a fine apprentice out of her.

"Uh, yeah ok, what cha got?" He asked, interest piqued as he scratched his chin while looking at the tray full of colorful cups. He listened to her rattling off the names of the ice cream with a well practiced ease. All 34 flavors. He settled for a Mint chocolate chip, his favorite, and then a chocolate for Ve, and finally a plain vanilla. He thanked the girl before leaving, not wanting to over stay his welcome.

If he had ended up returning another one or two dozen times, well she was none the wizer and it didn't hurt anyone. Truly the two was quite a devious pair.

"I'm a fucking genius!"

"Quick, Bai, loop around that kiddie ride machine and get back there!"

"Huh? We should give it at least another couple minutes, Vee." Bai said even as he did as instructed anyways, he glanced over his shoulders to check if the worker noticed anything odd yet. All he saw was a bunch of kids crowding around her. Huh, school must've let out by now. He was here longer than he thought.

"BUT THEN WHAT IF SOMEONE ELSE GETS THE LAST SCOOP OF COOKIE AND CREAM? THE LAST SCOOP, BAI! I MUST HAVE IT! I NEEEED IT! WE MUST HAVE IT BAI, DO YOU HEAR ME? WE. MUST. HAVE. IT!!!"

When your one of your wives who happened to be a needy, brain eating alien, who was literally inside your head demanded ice cream, well she was damn well going to get it.

Sorry kiddies, but as the old wise sages once said... Fuck em kids. He all but bowled them over in his disguise.

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"... Hi, yes, excuse me, terribly sorry to bother you, buttt... What the actually flying fuck? Why is there a goddamn gorilla with a rocket launcher blowing up the city?"

Sadly nobody decided to enlighten him, probably because they were too busy running in fear for their lives from said armed primate- which was fair, but wasn't really helpful in clearing his confusion.

"You know what, I'll figure it out after I help animal control out."

Oh... The gorilla could talk. Cool!

Oh... It was monologing about it's greatness and how all should cower before it now... Cool!

"Well, this aint exactly my city, but I can't have you tearing it up anyways. It's where I keep all my stuff!" Bai said as he sucker punched the primate, his grip on its arm ensured it didn't go flying into anyone or anything. Gently lowering the sleeping animal, he borrowed a phone from a man nearby who was watching with a gaping mouth.

"Hello, animal patrol? Yeah, there's a gorilla on the loose downtown between... 12th and washington street. Oh, and he has a gun. No, this isn't a joke. No, I don't need a the Teen Titans or a super hero, the situation's been taken care of and it's currently asleep. Huh? Yeah I'll hold."

"Wake me up when something interesting happens"

"Huh? What, fighting with talking monkeys with guns wrecking downtown isn't interesting enough for you?"

"That didn't even count as a fight, that wasn't even foreplay, besides some dumbass blowing up downtown is literally just another Tuesday. Let me know when you're fighting someone worth a damn... Or if you're having sex. I wanna watch."

"...What? What makes you think I'd have sex with anyone here that isn't you?"

"...Really? Do you really need to even ask?"

"I feel like we need to have a chat about what kind of a man-whore you think I am. I'm an honest married man, damnit!"

He ignored the slight tugging he felt on his 14 Adamantium wedding bands around his neck. He will not be slut shamed by the living tentacle monster with a kink for voyeurism. He will not.