Tell me how you would react if you suddenly bumped into someone who is secretly a serial killer? Scary, right? These things do happen in such a vile world, unfortunately. You never know when a deranged mind would approach you. I guess it's similar to meeting a normal man drunk off his mind, or someone that needs intensive therapy.
Well, not for me.
I already met someone like that a long time ago. That someone is standing beside me now. That someone looks like me, acts like me, eats like me, talks like me... Fights like me.
My path is diverging from a good to an evil one. My reason is becoming hollow and my feelings are gradually losing its light. What kind of ending should I receive for my crimes? Do I deserve the most painful death imaginable? Do I deserve to rot in the afterlife forever?
Who do I have to hurt? Who do I have to sacrifice next?
Who do I have to kill to reach the ending I am longing for?
Who do I fight for?
But right now, at least, the world feels like an ugly place full of confusion, conflict and turmoil [https://img.wattpad.com/95ad63326c3815111e43dfa6cb47232f5160dad5/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f745939716d7778457667307059413d3d2d313333343031383639302e313735353866313964323834313836613337373737393132323931382e706e67?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280]
April 2, 2065
POV: Esthic & Natsuha Inose
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"Now now, that wasn't so hard now was it?" Esthic said coldly, looking at me. I didn't look back, I was staring at the cold, blackened ground that was part of the underworld of Magic. I didn't die, I'm simply able to stay here whenever I call for Esthic. It is like a second dimension for me.
Esthic chuckled lightly as he slowly made his way towards me. His 12 eyes glaring at me intensely, a sign of authority. "It is quite a shock, isn't it? To become a Magician means that you need to be able to kill even the people closest to you. This path is of sacrifice and power. This is ultimately the choice that you have made." He said while raising his index finger up.
"You have fought valiantly however. You have my congrats. I am sure that you will successfully complete the next trials with ease." Esthic smiled, his 12 eyes blinking in unison.
I stayed silent for a while as I kept my gaze towards the ground. He is right. I did accept his offer after all, and the only way to break the pact that we had is if I fail the second trial. I still don't know what the second trial is, but I can only think that it's way way worse than the first one. I had to kill Joan Elise for the first trial, what if I have to kill a friend for the second one?
To be honest, I don't even know if I have any friends left. Nazuki is dead, Ryousetsu committed suicide. Kazuya is way too busy with his Hi-Quad, and knowing that Joan is dead and that I may be the one who killed her, he'll hate me, try and kill me for sure. Andrei Feng... Well...
I don't know.
Esthic broke the silence between us by tapping his feet lightly. "Now then, Natsuha Inose." he called me while standing directly in front of me. "Do you know what this place is?" He asked while gesturing around us. I shook my head as a response. "This is where Sahadume - My Lord, used to live." he answered while crossing his arms.
"Eons ago, this place was cut off from the universe. It's leader imprisoned, and it's people condemned to a rotting world. And yet-- as a constant reminder, the other Realms continue to shine in the sky eternally. What you see on Earth is not magic.. THIS is Magic.. Magic is what brings this realm alive." Esthic explained as he raised his hand up into the sky. I looked up trying to see what he was talking about but to no avail. All I saw was pitch black darkness and an abyss that extends further than my sight can reach.
"There's nothing here, or there." I said with a cold tone.
"But there is. Look deeper under." He said. I furrowed my brows in confusion but complied anyways. I stared deeper under and as Esthic said, there's actually something. Something that resembles life... No... it IS life. There are billions of people down there, shining brightly against the dark backdrop of this realm. "...Who are they?"
"They are everyone who have died in the history of the mortal world." Esthic responded while lowering his hand down. "Every living thing dies and enters this place eventually. This part of the underworld is called Purgatory. People that are here are not judged yet."
Esthic then emulated the ground of the Purgatory in which only I and him could see. It revealed 3 more layers.
"The layers that you see are where they will go once they are judged. The top one is Heaven, the one under that is Hell... and the one under Hell... That is where Sahadume - My Lord, and his angels used to reside."
I look at Purgatory and realized that there were four islands. In those islands, billions of people lived. But there was one island that caught me off guard, as it was the least populated island. There were only hundred thousands, or millions.
"Those islands. What are those?" I asked curiously.
"Ah... Those are people that have been categorized and put in the same islands accordingly. SPECs, Magicians, Alchemists and Pseudos."
Alchemists and Pseudos? Now that is a first for me. Normally, I was taught that there were two leading forces, which were SPECs that can bring custom calculations and formula into real life from our Own Conscious Reality, and Magicians that cast and conjure spells using Magic as it's foundation.
I have never heard about Pseudos, however I have heard tales of Alchemists. They are supposedly people that are able to create something out of nothing. Construction and deconstruction as they call it. Alchemists can construct buildings in mere seconds just by imagining it. That's how strong they really are. But why does that really matter? Aren't all people just the same? Why group them up? Why separate them? It doesn't make sense to me...
"Hm..." I looked at the islands from up above. I would then switch over to the island where SPECs resided, and saw someone who I just killed hours ago. It was Joan Elise, the Fifth-Ranked Class 10. She looked so confused. She's probably thinking that she landed in Hell right now. Joan is crying right now, looking around and panicking. She probably thought that she's doomed for all eternity now... I can't help but feel bad that this is where I ultimately brought her to.
I killed her after all. I had to. If I didn't kill her, then I would fail my trials... I would not become a Magician... and I would be unable to save my sister. ...Why am I feeling sorry for her though? I killed her because I have to, there's no reason for me to feel bad about it. ...So why do I feel so... sad?
"Esthic..." I called out his name while keeping my gaze at Joan Elise. He turned towards me with his hands placed behind his back. "Am I evil?" I asked, breaking the silence between us. Esthic tilted his head lightly before responding with a calm smile.
"How should I answer that question?" He asked me while approaching me again. He sat down and gestured me to sit beside him. I complied and sat beside him, our backs facing Purgatory and looking up at the pitch black void that extends endlessly.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"Esthic..." I repeated while lowering my head lightly. "Is what I am doing evil?" I asked while fidgeting my fingers lightly. "Well..." Esthic answered as he rested his back on the ground and faced upwards as well. "That depends on what you define as 'evil', wouldn't it?" He responded as he folded his arms while laying on the ground.
"I've killed Joan Elise in cold blood. I've killed Nazuki, all to save my sister and keep the only family I have left alive. Killing is an evil act, isn't it? So does that make me evil?" I asked the same question, with more details. Esthic pondered for a moment before answering me again.
"Natsuha Inose... Would you consider yourself evil if you want to save your sister? Is wanting to save your sister from imprisonment to be an evil act?" He asked while sitting up properly and staring at me again. "Isn't it noble for a sibling to do everything in their power to save their own sister?" He added while folding his arms again.
"Yes but--"
"Murder and killing may be the worst act a human can do. But in the end, the world my Lord has created is not fair. Life is not fair. Evil acts may happen everyday and it is how humans have evolved." Esthic interjected as he lowered his gaze lightly. "Evil acts can be good intentions if done correctly." He added as he fixed his robes lightly. He then turned towards her again. "I will not tell you that whatever you are doing is good or evil. But I can tell you this,"
He opened his arms widely like he was spreading his wings. "Humans are simply mortals that want to achieve what they desire most." Esthic answered while lowering his arms again. "In a way, I pity the people that try their hardest to achieve what they want the most, but fail in their tracks." He added while lowering his head lightly.
I listened to Esthic carefully. His words ring true in my head, however it didn't comfort me much. It feels like there's still something wrong with me after all... But... Esthic is right... Humans are imperfect creatures after all... And perfection is unachievable for humans...
"Which is why I am helping you. Because I sympathize with you." Esthic added as he placed his hands behind his back and smiled lightly. I looked at him and felt something in my chest. It was a small glimmer of hope, like an ocean of happiness... A warmth that envelops me whole... It felt warm, pleasant and peaceful... Like home...
"Esthic..." I stood up while turning to face him. "Can I really become a Magician?" I asked with full determination in my voice. Esthic widened his eyes slightly as he kept his smile and responded to me. "What you wish for, will eventually come true, Natsuha Inose." Esthic replied while slowly getting up himself. He then gave one last smile, before disintegrating into thin air.
I turned towards Purgatory again and saw Joan Elise still crying. I sighed lightly while staring at her. I then clenched my fists and looked at her with a determined look. "Joan Elise." I called out to her, even though she can't hear me.
"I'm going to save my sister and defeat Alice Ultia. I will not give up." I spoke as a tear dropped from my cheek. "This is the path I chose. However bad that path will be, I know for sure that this is the only way for me to succeed."
With one call, A colorful beam struck me, allowing me to be beamed to the real world again.
But right now, at least, the world feels like an ugly place full of confusion, conflict and turmoil [https://img.wattpad.com/95ad63326c3815111e43dfa6cb47232f5160dad5/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f745939716d7778457667307059413d3d2d313333343031383639302e313735353866313964323834313836613337373737393132323931382e706e67?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280]
February 26, 2063
Flashback #1
POV: Enami Nijkerk & Forscher Wissenschaftler
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Somewhere in the cityside in Ultima City, Enami Nijkerk was laying on her death bed, curiously awaiting her final day when she will leave everyone behind, including her husband.
Thijsen Weegman, known as the world-renowned Heaven's Preventer.
2 months ago, she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. It was a type of cancer that spread really quickly. But why didn't she let Heaven's Preventer, who is known as the greatest doctor in the world, save her? It was her own volition. She didn't want to be saved. She wanted to pass away peacefully, without a regret in the world. Something that was impossible for the selfish and selfless.
That was when she remembered. She remembered the words of the seers, of the words of the psychics, of the words of the prophets.
Her gaze wandered off to the window, staring at the clouds passing by. They were always on the move, never staying in one place. That's what she wanted. She was always on the move, chasing dreams and illusions. She was always running towards nothing.
But the time has come. She had to stop.
She looked down at her withered body, her pale skin and frail hair. She felt weak, so very weak. She wondered if her soul would fade away after her last breath, or if it would linger, wondering aimlessly, waiting for an eternal night.
"Forscher, I wonder how you feel... What we've done to those kids." Enami murmured to herself. "How can we even look at their faces and say we did the right thing? How could we not notice the madness in their eyes, the terror, the emptiness. We had no right to play God, yet we did."
"..." Forscher remained silent.
"How many more years till their scars heal?" She continued. "And how many more to learn to forgive themselves, even though they were the victim of our misconceptions, of our shortcomings, of our failures, of our own inability to protect and save?"
"What else can we do?" He said. "We can't erase their pain," He replied. "Their past and memories will forever haunt them."
"I wish that fucking project never happened. I had the choice to not associate it in any way possible. Yet I did, because I felt an overwhelming urge to help steer them in the right direction. But they're lost, both of them. And for what?" She shook her head. "No reason can justify their actions. They were only children. Children that trusted us, relied on us, believed in us. And we let them down." She added.
She was dying. She was tired. She didn't have the strength anymore, not even the will. She knew it was time to rest, to forget, to move on. But she still clung onto those memories, like a lifeline. She was tired of holding on. She was tired of fighting, of struggling, of trying to make things right.
"Alice prophesized this from the beginning. There was no way changing her mind, Enami. Do not beat yourself up over this. You've already done everything in your power, everything she asked you to do. No matter what happened, no one can change her." Forscher shook his head. "It's not your fault. It's not our fault. We tried. We tried as hard as we could."
Enami looked away. She was weak, she had no right to lecture him, or anyone else, about this. But the memories...
"It's hard to believe that we will ever reach a state of equilibrium, with Natsuha Inose living at this time period," Enami continued. "After all these years, she has grown, and she will never forget us, nor will she ever forget the horrors of the past."
Forscher raised a brow.
"Natsuha and Divo will forever remain haunted by our actions," she said.
She could imagine the pain and anguish that Natsuha must have gone through, as she was a teenager in such a harsh and cruel world. She had been through hell and back. She had been broken, torn, and ripped apart. And no matter how hard she tried, she could never put the pieces back together.
Forscher looked at her with pity in his eyes, hearing her continue. "Because they will never find forgiveness in their hearts." At some point, Forscher realized that Enami was self-deprecating. She wanted the things she said burn into his soul and cause him pain.
"Even if I can't forgive myself, it doesn't matter. Not anymore. The only thing left for me is to await the end. Until the time comes where I fade away, where I cease to be. Where nothing can touch me, and nothing can harm me. Not even my own demons."
Forscher hung his head in defeat. He knew better than to argue with her. She was stubborn. She always was. She was never one to give up. Even when he gave up, she carried on. She was strong in a way that no one could ever understand. Her heart was broken. Her spirit was shattered. She was beyond repair. And there was no coming back from that.
"Why, Forscher?"
"Why did we do this?" She asked, staring at the ceiling, her eyes watering.
"Why did we betray them?" She murmured.
He knew the answer. But it wasn't enough. She didn't need the answer. She needed to let it go.
"It's for the best, Enami," Forscher said. "We cannot change the past. It happened, and it's time to accept it and move on."
"I can't!"
She yelled. She could never accept that. She would never let go. No matter how much she wanted to, she would never forget. It was not her fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just happened. And in the end, none of that mattered. In the end, they both lost everything. They both lost everything that ever mattered to them. And they both knew it.
The yell caused her to cough uncontrollably. Her lungs were giving out. It was only a matter of time. And soon, she would be gone. And she would take it with her.
Forscher was conflicted, looking at Enami with pity in his eyes. But that couldn't fill the void that remained in her. It couldn't fix her heart, or her soul, or her mind, or anything else. It couldn't heal the pain, or bring back the things that she had lost. And it never would. She knew that, and she didn't want to change that.
A sad way to go out.
"All I wanted in life... was to die, knowing I have saved people through the art of therapy. But who have I saved? Who have I damned? I just want to know who to hate for what they did." Enami's tears were spilling.
Forscher Wissenacker remained silent, looking at Enami with sadness. He couldn't take away her pain. He couldn't wipe it from her eyes or wash it from her skin or hair. It was permanent. It would always be there. "Why don't you let your husband save you?"
"Would it change anything if I continued? I want to go, even if I have a lot of regrets. I have no place in this world. All I have done is damn children and kill the weak minded. I'm a murderer. I'm just as responsible as the people who've done the killing." Enami said.
Forscher felt a knot forming in his stomach. It was all for nothing, he realized. They were both broken, both lost, both defeated. They had given up the fight long ago, and they knew it was useless to go back now. They had crossed the line. They were beyond redemption.
"We shouldn't have existed, Forscher." These was her last words. A sad, self-deprecating statement that even the deepest hell could hear. She could hear the demons laugh at her.
He watched Enami die in front of him. He watched her fade away. A sad way to go out. Dying with hatred, sadness and despair. He never wanted this. He never wanted it to come to this. But in the end, he was a failure too. He failed, just like Enami did. And now he felt empty inside, he was just as lost as Natsuha Inose and Divo Aoyami. A wretched soul.
The last thing Enami heard as she passed was:
"You did well."
"You didn't fail, Enami."
"You did well, you really did."