The Second Shock

"Oh God that feels uncomfortable", Walking outside felt like hell with the constant feeling of wrongness and not belonging. some would normally skip today and stay inside but ... "Oh god it feels bad"... I have some practice with sucking it up and carrying on.

Even if I felt like my soul was rejecting reality and trying to advocate from my body I still had work to go. Yeah, no matter if the world ended tomorrow we still have work to do, and if it is the last thing I do I will not miss today.

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Now there was nothing special going on that day. Looking back now I noticed that I might have been a serious workaholic not that I changed but it's pleasing to see myself following principles and a good reminder to always look back on my actions .

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"Oh oh good, it gets worse! when I move" I screamed to the heavens. To clarify something I didn't live in a snobby apartment so no one should have heard. Although of course, I stating this since someone did.

"Are you ok?", my neighbor I never got to know asked. I mean I was planning to move and who cares about a person that ... cares about me. I really got to make it up to him.

but of course, hearing someone's voice just made the feeling all the more terrible. Honestly, what is going on with me, it wasn't so bad yesterday. why today do I feel like I am being ejected out to outer space. It's making my skin crawl, and my god is it just uncomfortable.

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Wait now That I see this again I noticed it made me uncomfortable about every instead of being uncomfortable. This was a very important distinction now of course and it would have made everything so much easier to swallow and less confusing later on.

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"No Yeah, I am fine", Of course, I am not fine but what am I suppose to say after he inevitably asks what's wrong that I 'feel wrong?' of course not.

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It would have been better to consult him. Mr.Jackson the neighbor was a much better person to let me in on the truth than the others. He wasn't judging and he had a nice way of explaining things.

Then again I did learn everything quite quickly because of my 'decisions'. and it is not every day you make the right choice.

Jason after having finally exited his apartment fully got his things and tried to hobble at the speed of lightning because the hobbling always works of course. It was inefficient though and it took about 30 minutes until he reached his car in the apartment garage after getting outside.

Driving did help for a while but the faster he went the worse he felt so he drove very slowly to work that day getting to work almost on time but a little late. It was sufficient since no one called him out on it as he hoped. Since he was obsessed with work and all

No, they were more paying attention to his desperate hobbling at work. He wasn't actually hobbling that time since that would had him sent home but he was more or less trying to play off a mixture between walking slowly and staggering forward wile trying to looking ok and he ended up looking more like a patient that broke out of the hospital before complete recovery.

It was embarrassing. Very Embarrassing.

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The second shock happened at work as you might have guessed. This didn't make the reveal any less awkward or good as it was not something that I found enjoyment having people see my faults or failures. I learned a lot from going back over this and I felt this was awasn't as bad as thought it was at the time. Yeah though I know I am not going to get anything out of this what's next. Though I should remind myself once again of that 'ignorance is not bliss' while I have the time because I didn't get the chance to last time.