It came as a shock, leaving Emile completely speechless and unprepared.
Her mother was the first to repeat the letter. “They’re going to send someone to evaluate you Emilie. Aren’t you excited? You always liked school, this is what you wanted.”
Except, it wasn’t what she wanted. How could they think that? She didn’t want to leave, to travel to some foreign city away from her friends and family. Maybe she wouldn’t stay in Wollseeth forever, but at least another few years. She wasn’t even 9 yet.
It didn’t matter, that it was one of the best magic colleges in the six kingdoms. It wasn’t here. What was she supposed to do, what was she supposed to feel?
There wasn't even anyone to talk to right now, being the end of the day. Reese was no doubt caught up in one of his absurd experiments. With her latest notebook open she tapped at the pages with her pencil, trying to think about what to write.
As she wrote some minor nonsense the pencil streaked and left small fragments of charcoal as she wrote on the pristine pages. It wasn't that disliked writing with them, but she had come to wonder if writing with a pen might be better. Reese always insisted on using a pencil, and that worked for him, particularly since he wrote everywhere. But for her, she only wrote in her room or in the classroom. It felt like she shouldn't keep listening to him. With a sigh, she knew what to write now as she started at the top of a clean page.
"Reasons to stay", "Reasons to leave"
The lists were mostly even, with stay having a few extra items. Not many, but a few. Something that was common on both lists was a name, "Reese".
Underneath it all, she wrote something else. A question she kept asking, "Who do I want to be?"
Having written down her thoughts, her mind was just quite enough to sleep. But not quite enough to stop the dreams. Which made it less then restful and left her even more uncertain.
Arriving at school early wasn't unusual for her, but talking to Fense was. The wolf, was nice and she could tell he enjoyed talking to her as he enjoyed talking to everyone, but their repour wasn't quite the same as what him and Reese seemed to have. Though, given the number of pages he did, that was probably a good thing.
"I see. So this might be the last month we have you in class."
"Yes. I just thought I should tell you? I know you helped me attend class in the first place."
The wolf shook his head and smiled, "No, that was all you and maybe Reese, and Ard was the one who had be me add your name. Emilie, I am very impressed! It's rare for a student from a village like Wollseeth to end up at any college, much less that one. I hope you pass your test!"
It was hard to focus, Fense was talking about Hestia again, as he usually did this time of year. She had been so excited about school the first time, but now, it felt like it was all the same. Each year. It was hard to go deeper into it since she already did all the harder work.
Of course, at the end of the day Reese had to do pages. Why that boy couldn't keep his mouth shut, she'd never understand. It irritated her more than usual as she stood outside the school house. Did she really want to wait for him, did it even matter? Maybe things would be better if she just broke off contact now.
Standing there the doors to the school opened, while she hopped it was Reese it was far to early. Instead Venginn walked out, sensing Emilie staring at her she snapped "What you looking at, freak?" Before running off towards her home. Since the first day of class she had been unusually prickly and snapped at everyone. Fense even had her do pages yesterday, something that she never had to do before!
Not long after that, Samil slowly walked out of the school house, only to stare at Venginn in the distances. The two of them hadn't been seen together in week. Venginn and Samil had been more inseparable than Reese and her. To see them avoiding each other was somehow painful to watch. Seeing him longingly stare in her direction just made it worse.
"Waiting for Reese?" His deep brown eye weren't focused on her, and his voice was hollow, like something was missing.
"Yeah. I really need to talk to him about something."
"You two are always together, hope everything is alright." His voice remained hollow, it sounded like he was trying to do anything but think about Venginn.
"I… might be going away in few days. I'm being interviewed for a college. I've been trying to figure out how to bring it up. But you know Reese, he's hard to talk to."
"Heh, yeah, he is. Glad to hear you might be going to college. Shouldn't be surprised though, I think you're smarter than the both of us. I mean… then Venginn and me…" He sighed. "Do you like him?"
That was not a question she was expecting. "What? No, I'm 8 and he's my best friend."
Samil laughed. "I know that but, you can still like someone. I mean, I did. I thought… she did too but maybe I miss read things."
Now Emilie was curious. "I think Reese is going to be a while. Do you want to talk about it?"
At first Samil didn't, but he also didn't leave. Eventually, it just all came out.
Turns out, she was right to suspect courting when they were at the lake a few months ago. He had asked her that very day. Instead of a yes or even a no, it was,
"Let's just pretend you didn't me ask that." A soft no perhaps.
Samil tried, Venginn tried, but somewhere along the line things did change. There were still somethings he didn't want to talk about, but Venginn's parents eventually found out. Her father attacked him and threatened to kill him if ‘the mixed blooded mutt’ ever came near her again. Emilie never realized how traditional Venginn's and racist parents were.
It was all clearly hurting him.
“We’ve been together since we were kids. Her parents never liked me, but I guess they tolerated me because I helped with her studies. You know, she hatted school and reading when she was little.”
“I can’t believe that, Venginn always has her nose in a book.”
“It’s true, she hated it with a passion. But… For some reason she started hanging around me, and copying me. It’s funny, because I thought she hated me. Used to make fun of my hair and skin.”
Samil rubbed at his arms nervously, like he was trying to remove the blotches of white or the blotches of tan. Either would have made him happy.
“I just… wish we could go back to a few months ago. Even if I was just her friend. You know, not many people can tolerate me because of my appearance. Not to mention my mixed blood. But despite her occasional bullying, she did.”
With one last sigh, Samil started walking away, not in the direction of either of their homes. “Good luck on your test, Emilie.”
Standing there, against the school the weight of her thoughts threatening to knock the wall down, a single phrase kept running through her head, ‘I just wish we could go back to a few months ago.’ The statement Samil said, made her reconsider even talking to Reese. Maybe she could ignore it? She was young, too young to go to college, there was no way the interviewer would accept her. All she needed to do was pretend nothing was happening, and when it all blew over, things would be the same.
Yes, that’s what she would do. As she left the school house, moments before Reese came out rubbing at his wrists.
All throughout the night her mind kept running through the different possibilities. What she could do, what she couldn’t, what she would. It was maddening. It was just too soon for her to leave. Wasn’t it?
The next day wasn’t much different. It felt like every few minutes Reese would try to talk with her about something. Something about numbers and mana crystals, she didn’t care about any of that right then. In her attempts to avoid him, she didn’t notice that Samil wasn’t present, or that Venginn looked like her whole world collapsed. Of course, that’s a different story.
As usually Reese was assigned pages again. Which was good, as it meant he wouldn’t try to follow her out. Yet, as she went to leave, she couldn’t bring her self to go home. This wasn’t something she could just keep shrugging off, and her mind was so clouded with thoughts she needed to talk to someone. To talk to him.
“Emilie! Everything ok?”
With a jump she turned and looked at the source of the question. “Reese! Yeah, I’m just… lost in thought.” Again, she knew she needed to talk to him. “Do you want to hang out for a bit, I need to get my mind off things.”
The walk towards his house was filled with the same inane rambling and stories she had grown used to over the past few years. It was as annoying as it was, enjoyable.
His room was, as it always was. Disorganized, yet somehow still ordered. So many things laying about, random stones and gold foil, and wire. It all looked expensive, but knowing how much Reese made it was probably cheaper than it looked.
“Ok, so I’ve got a new idea. See this glass?" Reese picked up an item from his work bench. It didn't seem particularly unusual or interesting.
“It looks like glass?” She didn't see the point of it.
“Right! But look carefully, see how there’s these subtle imperfections? I think these are gold traces and mana stone fragments.” As he handed it to her, she moved it about in the light, trying to see what he saw. But there were only some faintly visible lines.
“It doesn’t look like gold. And I don’t see the any mana stones.”
He seemed to struggle after she said that, like he was either trying to explain it better, or maybe rethinking. It was hard to tell. “Well, the gold is really thin, thin enough to see through. And the stones are almost like dust. Come see.”
On his bench was that odd contraption he put together with those eye glass lenses. A microscope he called it. Strange name, from that strange language he liked to use. She had used it before but it was weird looking through it. Either way, she didn't see anything interesting, just those dark traces and maybe some specks of dust.
“Now, watch this.” He hovered a glowing flame stone near the edge of the glass, and, it did glow. So it was probably some kind of mana stone or fragments. It didn't seem to be useful, but it was pretty.
Her lack of interest was clearly affecting him. It was something she had noticed about him, if you didn't give him praise quickly, he would read into that as a sign you didn't agree. “Anyway. I get it may not seem like much, but I think I can make my own version of this.”
She still didn't see the usefulness of the idea, “Ok. What would that do?”
“Well, it would be a screen. Like a page in a book, only it could change. Instead of only being one page it could be any number of them. If I can get it to switch pages fast enough, you might even be able to see things move!”
It was hard not to roll her eyes and he used more words in his personal language, what was a ‘screen’? Maybe he meant, “Like watching pages flip?”
Again, his features sank a bit as he thought he was losing her. “No, like move. Imagine if a painting 'came to life’ and started moving inside the frame.”
“I get it's hard to believe but, I’ve sort of got a working prototype.”
On his bench was a mess of whitish red powder and some gold foil, and wire, under some glass plate. It didn't make any sense to her. It was just junk.
“Watch when I tap this wire.”
He move through tapping each wire, causing the power to light up. Each time, it kind of looked like a number, but too blocky. It seemed kind of useless, but “Maybe with more numbers it could be useful?”
“Exactly! I'm going to clean this up and make an 8 digit display next. Then I'm going to work on this.”
His notebook was full of those strange sybols he like to draw. At first she thought the were some kind of spell glyph, but they weren't or at least didn't make any sense. Then, she remembered the time he tried to teacher her that, binary idea. Finally she gave up trying to understand it and just ask “What is this?”
If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“A calculator kind of like an automatic abacus. If you charge these wires in the right order you'll put a number into it, then you select what operation you want and put in another number. When you’re done, you'll have an answer, on this display.”
'Calculator' again with those stupid made up words, but, maybe she could see something from this? If it could do what he says, it could give people who can't count and add something to use. But the cost for these materials, not to mention the difficulty she was having even believing mana stones and gold could do this. To make him happy she asked “Is this like your bit adder you showed me a while back?”
“Yeah, exactly! Just bigger. Oh let me also show you something else cool I figured out! It was purely accident when I was messing with the microscope last night.”
A plank sat on his desk at an angle, propped against one of his books. When he moved the book it would change its angle slightly.
“Ok, so if I put this regular stone on this sheet at just the right angle it will stick, barely. If I change the angle even a bit, it will… there, start to slide down. This is the angle where static friction fails. It’s always the same, for the same materials. But if I set this just on edge of slipping… and I bring this mana stone very close.”
He smiled, like a moronic child as the rock started to skip slowly down the wood. It was hard to understand why she should care? She had come here to distract herself, and maybe that was working. But he was being more strange than usual. He tried to explain what was happening, something about friction? Like things sticking together.
The phenomenon was, neat, but why did it matter. It seemed even more detached then his calculator idea. Either he was thinking too far ahead of her, or it really was just nonsense. “Ok. Why is that important?”
“Well… It means it’s hard to build anything that transfers force. Like, if I built some gears and had these crystal by them, it could cause them to jam up or slip.” He seemed to struggle as if grasping at examples.
The only thing she could think of where the wheels in the flour mill or maybe on the carts that rode by. Was he concerned his device could affect them? “But why does that matter? Do you think the flour mills will have some issues if you make this calculator?"
“Well, it explains why my mechanical clock idea might never work, and it had nothing to do with the calculator. Just something I found and realized last night while testing stuff.”
He flipped to another page in his notebook.“This is what I’m eventually going to build. I’ll probably need help putting it together, and definitely testing it. I know we’ve hung out a lot in the past few years, but we never really worked on something together. I think you’d understand where I’m coming from with a lot of this if we worked on it together. I mean, we could change the world!”
So that's where he was going with this. He was trying to pull her into his 'research' again. She just didn't have the same interest he did. Magic was interesting, even enchanting was, a little bit. But, this stuff, she just didn't understand it was too abstract. But the more she thought about the request the bigger the pit in her stomach became.
"Reese about hanging out. I’m not sure I’ll be able to for much longer.”
With that, panic set on his face. “Why not? Did something happen. Did I do something?”
Oh you've done a lot, but that wasn't something she wanted to bring up just yet. “No. My parents were contacted by someone from a college in Yoth, they’re interested in testing my skills.”
“You mean the Yoth magic school? I read about them.”
She nodded.
“Emilie, that’s… Incredible. That’s one of the best magic schools in all the kingdoms. I’m, envious. That means you won’t be around anymore.”
“Yeah, but I mean, they might test me and see I’m not a good candidate. I’m only 8, they usually don’t take people till their teens.”
“You're basically 9, and they’d have to be blind or insane not to take you. When are they coming?”
“Probably this weekend, either on Sanedeg or Ostara. My parents didn’t give me an exact day. If I pass, and they accept me… I was told It would be quick, like a week or two since their next quarter us starting soon.”
For the next few minutes, the two friends sat in silence, before Emilie excused herself.
For the rest of the day, and through the evening Emilie couldn't think about anything. Her mind was just full of noise. Some of that noise was that stupid language he used. She was afraid that she might actually be starting to understand some of it.
For the next few days, they wouldn't talk much. Neither really knowing what to do or say. School was just school. Eventually, the weekend came, and Emilie's parents wouldn't let her leave the house. Insisting she 'study'. It seemed like there was a cost with having this interviewer come out, they didn't want to waste it. Which was understandable, but re-reading her mother's books wouldn't help much.
Sanedeg came and went. Carts arrived at the Inn just behind their house, but no one showed up at their house. Then, Ostarideg. If the interviewer didn't show up today, maybe he would never show up.
As Emilie sat in her room, her head still on top of a closed book her mother gave her. A small part of her didn’t want the evaluator to even show up. Another, perhaps larger part, wanted him to show up now. Still, the largest part of her screamed internally just for it to all be over. In truth, it was the waiting that was hard.
A knock at the door, was the sounding bell, ending the days of her childhood in Wollseeth.
“You must be Emilie, my name is Sibula.” The Dark Elf had a subtle smile on his face. It filled her with a sense of worry, like when Fense would smile before handing out a test or nasty assignment. Perhaps sensing her fear, her brother and younger sister both told her the same things.
“You don’t need to worry sis.”
“Yeah. Don’t worry.”
“Indeed, I’m just here to evaluate you. There’s no risk, normally there is a fee for evaluations, but your mayor Ard Haellyd agreed for the town to cover the cost. I was skeptical at first, given your age but if even half of what I’ve heard is true though, I think the college will be more than willing to pay for that.”
Her parents seemed, almost overjoyed by that statement as they led him into the kitchen.
"For the first part, there's a simple interview process. I'd like you to tell me about the first time you used magic. It doesn't have to be a big or fancy display; most students' first time is a mild wind spell that finally worked or a water bolt that just barely forms to splash on the ground."
Emilie thought back to the first time she cast, that terrible fire bolt spell that ruined her life for nearly 3 years. Talking about it kind of bothers her, and kind of hurt. For a moment she considered making something up, and with a long calming breath she steeled her nerves.
"I was 3 years old in the back of my house. I had been looking over one of my mother's grimoires and I had remembered the glyph inside it. My mother cast the spell to light a pile of wood on fire, and I mimicked her cast. I didn't mean to cast that spell, I just… I don't know, maybe I did mean to. I created a fireball as large as me and light the entire field behind my house and the neighboring one on fire."
The elf frantically wrote some notes in his journal. Before turn his attention back to the young girl. "Your story is quite impressive. There's a practical part of the interview, I'd like to see you cast some spells. Is there a good place?"
The stood outside the house, in the back field where she set that fire so long ago. It didn't matter, what she did then didn't matter. This test would end it, and when she left, Wollseeth would be rid of her and could forget about it. Raising her hand to the sky, she fired a Fire Bolt watching it course through some passing clouds before exploding.
"Very impressive, the size is quite something. The fact that you're silent casting is very impr-"
Cutting him off, "I've got another spell I want to try."
With a nod of his head, she held her arm up once more. The light crackling of static and acrid smell of ozone filled her nose, "Lightning Bolt!"
With a thunderous crack, a bolt shot up to that same cloud, and spread out, echoing through out the village.
Sibula nearly dropped his journal. "Silent casting a very advanced spell." He open the book and jotted something quick down before closing it. "There is an optional third part, where you can discuss hobbies and research interests, but I don't think that's necessary. Let's go back inside and discuss."
The elf held his hands over his mouth, “Emilie… I am amazed at your skill and power. I don’t think I have ever seen an applicant with your skill at your age.”
It made her feel good, to have her skill acknowledged by someone other than Reese and her parents.
“If you don’t mind me asking, did you learn these skills from anywhere?”
“Yes. I learned them from my mother and father’s books. Reese also helped me out a lot.” She laughed slightly, as if admitting some minor defeat. “He actually figured out some of the more complex spells and walked me though them, at least the theory of them.”
“Reese? I’ve heard the name from Ard, I think. Is he young mage too?” He made some more notes in his journal.
Basilara interrupted his daughter before she could speak, “My daughter is being modest. Reese is a young boy just across the streets. He has a very small gate and can’t cast spells.”
“That’s not true, he can cast spells, and he’s the one that helps me out. He doesn’t have a small gate either, he’s gateless.”
“I’ve never heard of someone gateless casting spell before? Regardless of where you learned, I was here to interview you, and I can tell you that you passed the interview.”
Emilie’s parents beamed with pride, and she felt both their hands on her shoulder.
“In fact, I am so amazed, I will push the college to give you a full scholarship. Your family won’t have to pay for anything beyond transport up to Yoth… and I might even be able to take care of that as well.”
Both Basilara and Venesar hugged their daughter from behind. Somehow it felt the opposite of what you’d expect a hug to be like. It was more like a push away than a pull towards, filled with lukewarm emotion.
If she did this, she’d be alone again.
“I want you to interview Reese too.” It would be her one condition. She’d pay him back for getting her into school two years ago, and just maybe, she wouldn’t have to go up alone.
“I’m not here to interview Reese, I’m here to interview you.”
“You say I’m skilled, that you want me at the college?”
“Very much so.”
“Then I want you to give Reese a fair interview. He helped me get to this point. That’s my condition.”
Venesar stepped into the conversation. They had worked hard to get this opportunity for their daughter, and even with the town paying for some of it, it was not cheap for them. “Emilie, that not reasonable, is it? Who’s going to pay the fee?”
Wobbling his head a bit, Sibula consider it “An additional fee’s not that important, since I’m already here, the college could just cover my time… I suppose I didn’t have anything else planned.” He considered the idea some more. If the boy was as mana-less as she said, it seemed like a waste of time, for all of them. But, if it convinced her to join, “Why not. Can you show me where he lives?”
Her parents wouldn't stop talking about how happy they were, for her of course. She kept her ears open, hoping to hear the sound of Reese's spell casting, but knowing she never would. As hours passed, it was difficult, waiting for him to show up. Surely he want to brag and boast if he got in, that's just how he was.
As the day turned to night, the likely truth became more evident. She was going to go alone.
Momadeg, it should have felt like a normal school day, but obviously it wasn't. Reese, didn't talk to her. As school started, as classes went on, he seemed distant. Not so much sad as just, not there. Fense seemed to be aware of that too, as he ignored most of his mistakes.
Once school let out, she had to ask him.
“Reese! How did it go yesterday? I expected you to come hang out, but you never did.” She could only smile, hoping that maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Reese did tend to get stuck in his own head, maybe he was just thinking about what to do when he left?
“Not good. He said I wasn’t a good fit.”
Well, that sealed it. The smile on her face disappeared, as she began to look at the same dirt he was.
“I guess it doesn’t matter. I was never going to be a mage, I’m just, not as good as you.”
"Reese, that’s nonsense. You know more about the theory of magic then I do!”
For a while he stood there, lost in his head again, as she was lost in her's, trying to figure out what to say herself.
“I can’t cast spells like you can. I can’t feel mana like you can. For everything you claim I know I keep coming up short. I’m useless.” He looked at his hands as he spoke.
She could only shake her head and stare in disbelief. “Why are you like this? You always knock yourself down and say horrible things about yourself. I’m the one who’s useless, I almost burned the village down and drown my brother, I almost killed Gezal when I was trying to heal him because I didn't follow the book's instructions to the letter. I made no progress on learning new spells till you came along. You always solve my problems for me. In fact, it’s one of the things that’s always bothered me. You’re so far ahead of me I can’t catch up, and you won’t let me try!”
The feelings and emotions she had been burying were starting to come to the surface. It was finally getting to her. His silence was making it worse. He just stood there shaking slightly like his mind was attacking itself. It was infuriating, he needed to say something. They couldn't keep this going.
At the very least she needed him to acknowledge what she said, even if he didn’t agree. “Reese. Just say something.”
“Leave me alone!” He snapped. In his eyes was, anger, haterid, and other things she couldn't recognize. But, one thing she could see, was honesty. Or maybe she just wanted to see that.
“Ok. I’ll leave you alone.” With that, it was over. There was nothing left to discuss, and she turned and headed home. Tears, she could feel them running down her cheeks.
Breathing. She tried Breathing, it didn't help. This wasn't like the time she couldn't stop shaking.
When the next came, she didn't go to school. Her parents said she didn't need to, that there was no point anymore. Instead, they wanted her to prepare to leave. But what was there to prepare for? There wasn't much to pack, there wasn't to say or do, or anyone to say goodbye to.
A few days would pass, and a letter would arrive, it congratulated her it gave instructions on what she was supposed to do. There would be a carriage heading up towards Yoth and Tranlearba. Actually, there were a series of carriages and villages she would stop at. The whole trip would take 10 days, and start on the 29th, Dunladeg. College was going to start soon after she arrived, and she wouldn't have any time to delay.
Just before the day arrived, there was nothing left to do. Well, there was one thing her parents insisted on her doing.
At the shine behind the mayors manner, she left a single offer to Eshtar, a handful of coppers, and note. It said one thing, that she was sorry for leaving things like they were. Looking around, she hoped that something would come, that something or someone would take the note, but they showed.
Across the street was Reese's house, he wasn't home yet, but she could still have headed there. She could have talked to his mother, left a note. Done something. But, it was easier not to. With a sigh she left the altar, knowing somebody would be by to clean up her offerings. Unaware, that they were already gone.
Finally, the day came. Outside the Inn, she stood with her parents and siblings one last time.
Her eyes drifted around as lost as she was. Reese was nowhere to be seen. This wasn't how she wanted it to end. Despite the argument and what they both said, she still wanted to be friends. Even if they didn't see each other for years. Even more so if they never saw each other again.
That last thought was nonsense as she tried to shake it loose. They'd see each other again, they had to. It would just be a while.
“Little Miss, we’re about ready to go, I can't wait any longer.” The carriage driver was nice, but stern. He had a schedule to keep.
With one last sigh she stepped into the carriage and left everything she knew behind. Her parents and younger siblings waved her off as the rickety wooden transport departed slowly for the paved road just north of town.
The carriage bounced and rocked as they took off. The other passengers were clearly accustomed to the method of travel, but for Emilie she had to exert effort just to stay seated on the rough splintery wooden seats.
In some ways, she was grateful for the effort, it gave her something to focus on besides her own thoughts.
She should have tried to make up before today. Even just stopped by his house and talked to him. Even if they couldn’t make up. Just saying goodbye would have made her feel better. A whisper on the wind, it sounded like her name. Like the village was calling to her, saying goodbye.
As she felt the carriage rise over the bridge and fall, she had to see it one last time. Excusing herself, she peered out the side window, only to see the tops of a few buildings. Most of the town was already gone behind the hills that banked the river.
It was absurd to think anything else would have been there. People running after carriages to say goodbye only happened in bad romance stories. The boy and the girl would whisper sweet nothings and say goodbye. But this was life, not a story, and their relationship was never like that anyway.
Looking back she watched the remnants of the village drift farther away as she whispered one final goodbye to no one. Their paths were separating, as fate is not always kind. The two, as they are now, would not see each other again.