hind’s

I went back inside my room and brushed my hair. I had showered today but I hadn’t washed my hair. I should have. It looked dry and frizzy nest. Nevertheless, I put on some nice pants and a pink sweater. I didn’t want Julian to see me this way my hair a mess, my skin blotchy from crying. and wearing ratty clothes.

I knew he wouldn’t care. But he hadn’t seen me like this. He hadn’t seen me sick, and I hadn’t seen him injured. We’d had such a whirlwind, fiery love affair – we’d just skipped over most of the real stuff that came with it.

If it had been any normal relationship, we’d have done normal couple things, Dates, meeting familles, weekend trips, moving in together, getting married, and then having a baby. And here we were.

I waited outside my house for him. I didn’t have to wait long. I had a feeling he would be on time, and he was. His car pulled in right outside, and I rushed to him. Just as he had stopped his car, I opened up the passenger seat door and slid right in

I didn’t want to invite him in. Gabe was inside and there was a possibility he would say something weird or inflammatory. Plus, I needed to get outside

the house.

“Hey.” He let out. We looked at each other for a few seconds. His eyes had bags under them – he hadn’t slept. His beard was long and unkempt. He was wearing a dark blue t–shirt and jeans. From under the sleeve, I could see a hint of his bandage peeping out.

“Does it still hurt?” I asked softly, looking at his shoulder.

“Not much.” He grunted. He reached forward, I don’t know for what, but I shrunk away from him, and he stilled. His hand, slightly shaky, made its way to my face. He cupped my cheek and pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of my mouth. I let out a shuddery breath. “How’ve you been, darlingThis belongs to : ©.

My smile was watery. “Been better.”

He nodded. The silence between us was deafening. I felt like I had so much to say, but at the same time, I had nothing.

His hand moved from my face to my belly. “And the baby?”

“Healthy.” I answered. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

I turned away from him, wringing my hands in my lap. It was a strange situation. My body was comfortable around him, but my mind was restless and fidgety. Anxiety was building up in my chest,

“Do you want to get some coffee?” He asked suddenly. Also, have you eaten?”

I nodded.

“What did you eat?”

This was more like him. Interrogative and sharp–voiced. Caring in his own angry way

“Fruits and yogurt,” I answered truthfully.

He looked at his watch, then back up at me

me, raising an eyebrow. “Its 2 pm, Cinevra. That’s not enough food. And you’re eating for two

I nodded. I knew. “I know. I just didn’t have time”

He began to drive, and I stared at him. He was looking straight at the road, but his body was angled ever so slightly toward me. His hands gripped the steering wheel lightly. I had missed this. Being in his car. Being around him at all. When I was around him it was like he was the only thing that existed. I was consumed by him. He was inside me,

around me, everywhere. He was everything. Even me. I wasn’t even me. I was him.

“Why?”

“Bethany visited me,” I told him

He looked at me curiously, “Ch

“Just to ask how I’m doing. It was nice, actually.”

“I’m sure.”

He got silent, and 1 looked out the window as we drove. We pulled in next to a cafe we had been to a few times before. It was small hut very nite and they did a mean macchiato. We went inside and sat down. It was mostly empty except for an older couple that was seated in a corner. We ordered coffee, and Julian made me order something to eat so I got a sandwich.

ard at hi

As we waited, I looked at him sitting across from me.

“How have you been?” I asked.

Bethany had checked up on me. And I had my dad and my brother who had been with me while I reeled from this emotional chans, but did he have anyone? I was sure his whole family was mad at him.

“Been better.” He repeated my words to me. “I need to apologize to you.””

I pursed my lips. He did. But I could wait for an apology. And even if he didn’t apologize, I knew in my heart that he meant it.

“I’m sorry.” He said. His voice was clear and his words rang with finality. “I’m sorry for everything I did, Ginevra. For not treating you like you deserved. For not putting you first. For all the lies and all the betrayal, and for sabotaging whatever you had with Nicn.”

1 gulped. “I’m sorry, too, Julian.”

He closed his eyes, clenching them shut as if he was in pain.

When he didn’t say anything I continued. “I don’t know why I hid it from you. I was being stupid and childish. I can’t keep your kid from you, never should have lied.

Everything was so weird and stupid and messy. I was so stupid and messy. I’m really, really sorry.”

He shook his head. When he opened his eyes, they were filled with an emotion I couldn’t identify

“I think I get it.” He said, “After what I put you through, I understand why you wouldn’t want a guy like me for your baby’s father.”

and I

It pained me to hear him say that. My heart hurt. I gingerly took his hand, squeezing. “I want you to be part of the baby’s life. We’ll co–parent. We’ll work out a system.”

He smiled a little at that.“1 want to be in your life as well.”

Just then, the waiter showed up with our order. He placed the coffee and my sandwich on the table, while we sat silently. I was a lot hungrier than I realized, and as soon as I saw the food, my stomach growled. I took a big bite of the sandwich, and Julian chuckled to himself.

I looked up at him. “I want that, too,” I told him. And I did. It was the honest truth. “But slowly, Julian, I want to take it slow this time. I love you so much. You know that. But I need more than love, I want safety, and consistency, and I want us both to work on things, okay?”

He nodded. “Anything. I’m here and I’m ready. I’m ready to give you my all, Ginevra, I should always have.”

I was glad be was acknowledging that.

But I needed him to act on those words.

“what about…I struggled to find the correct word, “Work?”

He shrugged. “I have money. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry. And I guess I can do what Nico does. The clean work.”

I piggled at that, and he raised his brows in question “What?” He asked.

You used to hate him for doing clean work”

“Yeah well, I didn’t choose it.” He said, “He chose it. But I don’t hate him, Ginevra. I was

as just jealous and petty.”

“Feels The I billing

He gave me a lock, and 1.

periors. Very muture things coming from wou”

an no tan to rile up

“I’ve missed you” We said it togerie Mine was a whisper, his was much louder. I laughed a little. I hadn’t laughed in the whole last week

Julian looked down at me. Hin par was tender, has eves filled with softness. I shifted in my seat. maybe it had just been to lon

1. This w

As I sipped my coffee, I thought of the future. For one moment, I believed it was going to be good.

was a foreign feeling. His gaze was for Or

Chapter Comments

UNE