Novels2Search
A Kindness of Ravens
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: The Legend (part three)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: The Legend (part three)

'What about my future? Is there anything left of me in here?'

'The others are still…' Cutty paused and Seven could see her struggling to find the right words. It seemed to him that the problem wasn’t a lack of words but a commitment to accuracy. 'Themselves?' her voice rose in uncertainty at the end of the word. She clearly wasn’t happy with it as an answer.

Cutty took another run up at the question, 'From what I can find in the records each one of your predecessors got their old selves back the moment they retired. They each kept a little of the suit and they seem to remember most of what they did but not much of the stuff from before their time. The only one with serious issues on retirement was the second but he had just seen his wife murdered in front of him. Even your predecessor with all the torture he’d been through only had a few months of therapy.'

'But they never did anything like…' Seven intended to tell her about Operation Bombastic Codename but tailed off, unable to say it out loud. Perhaps if he’d been drunk or if there had been any intimacy between them he would have been able to talk about it.

'I haven’t read that particular file yet but I think I know the one you mean. I can feel it waiting for me. I can’t remember all the details yet but I know for damn sure that all of the others have been through horrible fuck ups exactly like that one. It’s the cost of what you do. You’re an agent of chaos. Your actions have unintended consequences. Innocent people die and I am not going to tell you that’s ok, because it’s not,' Cutty sounded angry but he could see the concern on her face. 'But it’s still better than the alternative.'

'The alternative would have been doing nothing and then they’d all still be alive,' said Sorrow.

'In this instance,' said Cutty, 'but I’m talking about the average of his actions over his whole career. On average fewer innocent people die if he goes in.'

'You can’t possibly know that,' said Seven.

'I can. The Department has been monitoring the Blank project from the start and one of the parameters we’ve been checking is how many people died when any of you were sent in vs projected deaths if you hadn’t gone in. In most cases the actions of the Blanks resulted in a huge improvement in the number of deaths.'

'So not in every case?' he said.

'It’s a net improvement over your whole career,' said Cutty.

Seven tried to keep the burst of anger and disgust he felt from showing on his face but he could tell that Cutty had seen it.

'It’s the best anyone in your line of work is going to get,' said Cutty.

'Are you sure?' said Seven.

'As sure as I am of anything,' said Cutty after a moment.

'What kind of an answer is that?' said Seven.

'It’s a Department Y answer,' said Sorrow. 'It’s how we think, how we stay sane.'

'Sane-ish,' said Cutty. 'Sane adjacent, at least. I doubt things professionally. I have to look at the agreed ‘truth’ of history and decide to look through it to see the real truth beneath. If I don’t doubt what I think I’ve found I might as well be making it up. So everything I’ve told you is true but only as true as any other story about the past.'

'So why did you tell me?' said Seven.

'Because you asked,' said Cutty.

'Only because you seemed to think that I needed to know.'

'Number Four knows,' said Cutty. 'You are going after her?'

'Of course we are,' said Seven.

'She must know,' said Cutty, 'It’s the only thing that makes sense of picking you off in numerical order. Anyone who only knows the Blanks from the outside would go after you second or maybe third. Take out Number One first because he’s the tactician then go for you and Three because you’re the most dangerous. But knowing about the narrative armour you’re wearing means dealing with you last. It means putting you off balance. It means killing anyone the suit could use as a shield. It means loosening the hold the suit has on you.'

'You think she’d tell me about the suit?' said Seven.

'I think she’d show you the suit. She’s in Avalon. Mirrors like this are ten a penny,' said Cutty, brandishing the bronze mirror. 'They’re like hens’ teeth here. You should see the strings I had to pull to get this one.'

'So you decided to risk breaking the suit to prevent her from breaking the suit?' said Seven.

'I have been extremely careful,' said Cutty and Seven could hear genuine anger and hurt in her voice. 'I told you as gently as I could. I have been holding you together while you deal with this. That’s not the same as sticking a mirror in front of you and hoping you snap when you see a stranger in it.'

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Holding him together? So he hadn’t been imagining her hands on his. She’d somehow reached out to him without getting out of her seat. He would have asked Cutty more but Sorrow spoke, breaking his concentration.

'Shit,' said Sorrow, voice sharp. 'How are we going to get into Avalon?'

'How do you usually get there?' said Cutty.

'In my sleep. And as an actual raven,' said Sorrow. 'I can’t take him that route.'

'Jude?' said Cutty.

'I don’t think he’s been before,' said Sorrow. 'He can only cut into places he’s been.'

'You could summon the Washer-at-the-ford and get her to let you through?' said Cutty, 'But I think that would have to be at a ford. I don’t think a bridge would do. I mean it’s right there in her title.'

'The nearest actual ford is in Oxfordshire,' said Sorrow.

'So? Drive there?' said Cutty.

'In what? I can’t requisition a car. I’m on the wanted list.'

'I can’t requisition one. I can’t drive,' said Cutty.

The door swung open with a bang. Instantly Sorrow was half out of her seat, blade in hand. Seven had his right hand on his gun when Cutty’s shouting stopped him.

'Jesus Christ! Am I surrounded by fucking farm animals?' Cutty’s voice seemed impossibly loud.

'What?' said Cherry from the doorway.

'Fucking knock,' said Cutty at a more subdued volume.

'I have a message. For Sorrow and Officer Dee,' said Cherry as she watched Sorrow slide the kukri back into its sheath.

'It’s still my office and I still require people to knock. Do I have to start hexing people to get some basic fucking politeness?' said Cutty. 'Also you very nearly got simultaneously shot and stabbed which I hear smarts a bit.'

'You can lecture me later,' said Cherry. 'Honestly. I’ll come back specifically for the lecture. I’ll take notes. You can set an exam. Right now I need to deliver this message.'

'On you go,' said Cutty.

Cherry stepped into the room, eyes huge, apparently trying to keep an eye on Sorrow’s blades, Seven’s gun hand and the objects on Cutty’s desk all at the same time. Seven caught her eye and gave her his most dazzling grin. She smiled back at him and for a moment he wondered which face she was seeing.

'We have finished the forensics on your yPhone signals and you are both absolutely in the clear,' said Cherry. 'But Cepha can’t get SIS to stand down. They will shoot you on sight. The police have orders to call in SO19 to deal with you. Officer Dee, your boss thinks that you’ve gone rogue. She’s convinced that if it’s not Sorrow then it’s got to be you. Or maybe both of you in cahoots. She’s breaking out the contingency for you.'

'Well that clarifies something,' said Cutty.

'I knew I shouldn’t have cut that guy’s hand off,' said Sorrow.

'I don’t think that’s her problem,' said Seven. 'I think I’m the problem.'

'That’s the thing I was thinking,' said Cutty. 'You got any good news for us?'

'Jude is standing by to get Sorrow and Officer Dee out of London. He’s waiting in the Alpha house in case you need to grab anything.'

'Problem solved,' said Cutty.

'Jude can’t get us to Avalon,' said Sorrow.

'I bet he can get you within walking distance of a ford,' said Cutty. 'Now fuck off the lot of you. I’ve just pre-remembered something for Cepha and I need to deal with it now.'

Seven followed Cherry and Sorrow out of the cluttered room but stopped after a few steps and turned back. There was something he had to ask.

He started to open the door then stopped, bracing for the harsh language he had provoked by not knocking. It didn’t come but he could hear Cutty talking. Her voice sounded different. Softer, less sure of herself, almost deferent.

'You were right,' she said. She was hiding something and it is in the files. I take it you need me to find the relevant file numbers for you?'

Seven pushed the door open a crack and peeked through. Cutty was standing to one side of her desk. She had her yPhone to her ear and she was staring at one of the piles of paperwork.

'I don’t know for sure. It feels close. Probably tonight but don’t bet anyone’s life on it,' she said. She listened for a moment longer then put the phone down.

Seven knocked and pushed the door open.

'What now?'? Said Cutty.

Seven crossed the room to stand just a little too close to her. He was impinging on her personal space and he could sense her discomfort. He half expected her to move away but she held her ground.

'I have questions,' said Seven.

'Short ones, hopefully,' said Cutty.

'You held my hands but when I opened my eyes there was nothing there,' he said.

'Not a question. How do you know you weren’t imagining it?'

Seven took Cutty’s right hand in both of his and dragged a fingernail across the rough patch of calloused skin on the side of her first finger. 'Because I wouldn’t know to look for that if I’d been imagining it.'

'Sorry,' said Cutty. 'I underestimated you. I didn’t think you’d be consciously aware of it. People usually aren’t. They find me comforting to be around but they don’t know why. I should have guessed that you’d be unusually sensitive to the subtle body.'

'Which is?'

'You’d probably think of it as a territorial bubble or something. It’s the part of someone’s personality that extends beyond the physical boundaries of their body,' said Cutty and he could hear the tension in her voice. She did not like talking about this.

'You mean personal space?' said Seven.

'I do not. That's the space taken up by the subtle body, not the thing itself. Anyway, I have more control over it than most. And you’re way more sensitive to it than most which is why you’re currently standing inside mine.'

Cutty was no longer pretending that she wasn’t angry. Seven realised, now that he was standing so close, that the woman in front of him was a roiling cauldron of rage. He took a step back.

'We done?' said Cutty. 'Because I have to get back to fucking someone up the way I do it. Which is mostly with memos rather than guns, musical instruments or vehicles.'

'How did you know what I really look like?'

'The suit doesn’t work so well if you know it’s there,' said Cutty.

'Sorrow knew about it and she still couldn’t see me. She didn’t even know that she was looking down at me instead of looking up,' said Seven.

'She didn’t know what to do with the knowledge. I’m a witch and a historian. I’d be shitty at either of those if I couldn’t tell the difference between what I’m supposed to see and what is actually there.'

It wasn’t really an answer but she said it with such finality that Seven knew that she wasn’t willing to tell him more.

'You’re angry,' he said.

'I’m always angry. Don’t take it personally.'

You’re sure you’re not angry at me?' said Seven.

'I’m angry for you. Angry on your behalf. And I’m not the only one. Your boss can set SIS and the police on you but she’s getting no help from the Department.'

'I should go,' said Seven.

'You really should.'

'Thank you,' he said as he opened the door.

'Don’t thank me. Just bring Sorrow back alive.'

'She’ll be fine,' he said as the door closed behind him.