So you might be wondering how I got here. I travelled around the world after I split up with Yuki, adventuring, living my life, then I settled down in the isolated mountainous regions in the south. Sounds nice, right? Well yes, until the pope decided that he would so rudely interrupt me.

“Hmmm,” said an inquisitor holding a poorly drawn caricature. He glanced at the drawing, then at me multiple times before stashing the scroll into his clothes. “You are under arrest. If you resist, I will purge you from this world in the name of the pope.”

I glared at him, then started laughing, then crying. “Alright, you’ve caught me. What gave me away?”

The inquisitors paused and took a closer look at the caricature. “Yup it's the nose. It's undeniable, you look just like the caricature.” They nodded their heads in agreement. “And also when's the last time you’ve slept? You look terrible. The old lady next door thought you were possessed.”

I paused for a second. Raising my hands in defeat. “Haha…. Ha.. Hahahahhaha!”

The leader frowned, asking, “Cut that out, what's so funny?” Looking down, a dagger had embedded itself in his chest, already staining his pristine white robes crimson. He collapsed in a heap alongside his nearby subordinates.

The remaining inquisitors visibly shrank back, drawing their swords.

I calmly walk over, pulling a dagger out, inspecting the blood on the dagger, giving it a lazy twirl between my fingers. “You got blood on my dress. And scared my chickens. Fight amongst yourselves. Whoever survives gets to live.”

They paused, staring at each other, then at me, as I took a seat under the shade of a nearby chestnut tree. “You may proceed. I will take a short nap.”

“...Is she crazy?” a young inquisitor asked. “We should kill her while w-”

I tossed a dagger into his chest. “Quiet. Where do you think I got these skills from? Tsk.” I’ve faced many assassins sent after me. In such a long life, you are bound to make an enemy or 2. “Now hurry up, I’m losing my patience,” I said with a yawn.

“...”

“It is done.”

I opened one of my eyes. “Great job. Now you may get out of my sight,” I said with a yawn. “Now go, before I change my mind.”

He looked to be in his early 20s, yet he seemed fairly exceptional with a spear. He took a few steps, then stopped, then chuckled to himself, glaring at me over his shoulder. “You guys may come out now.”

Suddenly, like a veil has fallen, multiple figures materialized. People of all nationalities. Dragons, dwarves, humans, but strangely no elves or beastmen. “Ahhh fuck,” I cursed. It was an ambush.

I smirk. “Were you not satisfied even after all of the elites of the coalition I’ve killed?”

“There is no use talking to a cretin like you. Let’s end this age-old conflict once and for all.”

[Error : Your transformation skills have been sealed]

‘Not that bastard again, today of all days,’ I said, cursing my luck. The King of Envy, the 7th dragon general. I may or may not have razed down his city in retaliation. Guess this is just karma coming back to bite me in the ass.

“Hey, old man, don’t you have anything better to do than harassing people? If you don’t stop soon, your back might give out,” I said with a sigh. His veins bulge in his neck.

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“Kill her. And capture her alive,” he demanded. “I will dissect you, torture you, heal you, and torture you again.”

“Oho old man you shouldn’t say such things, your dead mother would be rolling over in her grave,” I sneered.

This time, my back is actually against the wall. My residence overlooks a deep chasm, which under normal circumstances wouldn’t have been an issue, but my transformation skills are currently sealed. Still, I won’t give them the satisfaction of taking me alive.

“[Dimensional Rift].”

The sky turned gray, as meteors flew out of the sky. I was lucky enough to have been near a meteor shower, catching them inside a portal. By doing this, the velocity of the meteors are maintained, guaranteeing that the next time I summon them they will do massive damage to the area. One tiiiiny issue. It’s not just going to kill my enemies, but myself too.

“Well, see ya losers. Here is my farewell gift, see you in hell!” I said as I fell backwards off the cliff with a smile on my face. ‘How nice is it to die gazing at the bright full moon.’

As I’m falling, many thoughts flash through my mind. “Ah, I wish I could eat that delicious bread from that bakery again. Yuki is going to be mad isn’t she? Dammit I forgot to send her letters… Will she be sad? Ah, and I forgot to pay off my tab at the tavern too… Who am I kidding their ale is ass anyways… I hope the old lady next door rots in hell, what happened to love thy neighbor?”

Cursing the world, I just kept falling, falling, and falling…

Dazed, I opened my eyes. “Urgh, where the hell is this place?” A look around shows sharp rock formations, with the bottom filled with a mixture of moist, red clay and loose gravel. Glowing fissures release a dim, green light, illuminating the bottom.

The talisman around my neck began to crack, and fade into dust.

“I did not expect to have visitors at this hour.”

The voice came from an elderly man walking towards, no, floating towards me. “I already said, I am not going to rub your bunions, old man.”

“...?”

He appeared confused, stroking his long, white beard. “Oho, a feisty one. I am quite lonely here. Do you know where you are?”

As I was about to make a wildly inaccurate guess, he interrupted me. “I am known by many names. You are in my eternal resting place. You will be my final disciple, do you have what it takes? It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.” he said, pointing a bony finger at me.

“Hey old man, did you remember to take your meds?”

They stared at each other in silence.

“What can a rickety old ghost teach me? Go knock over vases or something. Are you a scammer?” I questioned. I’ve met many scammers. They claim to peddle the secrets to ancient magical techniques, the secrets of the world, all sorts of wild stuff. You know they are a scammer when they use phrases like “once in a lifetime.” Who would fall for them? I would. It did make me feel a bit better when I beat them up and made off with all their belongings though.

He angrily floated over, hitting me over the head with his cane. “Insolent brat. Do you kids not know respect for the elderly?” he said, cracking his knuckles. “I will train you so hard you would wish you were never born.”

For some odd reason, he could hurt me, but I can’t hurt him. It infuriates me. For what felt like years, we trained on many techniques. ‘He must be what they call a grandmaster,’ I thought.

“How did you die anyways?” I asked curiously.

“Shut up and continue training,” he would reply. “I don’t ask you questions now do I?”

“…”

“Your techniques are terrible, who’s your master?” he exclaimed. “It’s just an amalgamation of several different techniques. You will have to relearn the basics.”

I groan. “What's the point of swinging a wooden sword a thousand times? I don’t feel like I’m getting any stronger….”

“You will become a master. The blade is a culmination of effort. Anything can be turned into a weapon,” he explained. He picked up a twig, lightly poking a boulder, causing it to crack and shatter. “Continue.”

Waiting for a chance to escape, I trained day and night, but [Envy] didn’t run out yet, although it had been years. “Time is dilated down here, passing much slower,” he mumbled. “Sometimes somebody will fall, only to die on impact or starvation. You are a special case.”

Cursing my bad luck, I continued to train, train, and train, until finally…

“Congratulations. You have learned all that I could teach you. As proof of my legacy and disciple, I pass down my robes,” he said, leading her to a cave.

[Ascetic’s Robes]

A plain white robe, it is elegant and lightweight. Made purely from abyss spider silk and crafted by a master, it boasts formidable defenses.

+50% dexterity

+35% defense

+25% blunt damage resistance

+30% recharge rate

And he prayed and prayed… For a thousand years without rest - unknown

“I will also bestow upon you another gift,” he said, holding out a pamphlet. “In my life, I couldn’t collect all the pages, but this should suffice.”

The world around me started to shift. “Wha- what is going on??” I demanded frantically. “I’m feeling queas- bleurghhh.”

He just looked on. “Hmm, unexpected side effects. And to answer your question, you will be send back to where it all began.”

“Shut up old man and stop this Imme-“

My words were cut off as the world around me turned black. Ah, I’m floating in nothingness. I guess I really am dead this time. Well, I had a good run, didn’t I? Wait, the light keeps getting closer…

I woke up in the middle of a forest, checking myself over, and I noticed that my body is abnormally small. Skills are all retained, but my level got reset… Huh? My level got reset? This can’t be…

I looked around. His words echoed through my head ‘Where it all began.’ Did I get fucking sent back in time?? As I was about to start ranting, someone spoke up.

“Wait… You are… Me???” a small voice said.

I turned around, spotting a girl in the bushes. “Michelle? Is that you?”

We stared at each other in silence.

“Who are you? How do you know my name and why do you look just like me?” she asked me, confused.

Quickly thinking of a plausible lie, I said, “I’m you from the future! I will take you as my disciple, or something really terrible will happen to you!”

“… Really??? How is it in the future? What happened? And do I really not grow up in the future? Are yo- am I strong??” she asked with a mix of enthusiasm and skepticism.

Smiling, I punched a nearby tree. Crack. “Fuckkk!” I forgot I’m still level one and not using any transformations.

‘Am I really that much of an idiot in the future?’

Quickly, I transformed into my usual self. It seems that I’m permanently in my early 20s. Giving the tree a simple karate chop, multiple trees instantly got sliced in half, with the shockwave leaving an indent on the ground. She stared on, dumbfounded as I transformed back to look like her.

Smirking, I said, “You are my disciple. Our cover story is that we are a pair of vagabond twins. I can’t wait to start training you.” I start cracking my knuckles.