Still not an actual chapter.

It will be a warehouse for things I want to add, but can't find place for in the main story. Mainly, backstories and such. Feel free to add, if you have an idea. Here comes the first.

Idiot.

Hi. My name is Alan.

I am eleven years old. I live with my grandparents because my mama and papa are dead. Even though grandma says it is sad, I am very happy since I have gramps to teach me how to read, write and use sword and grandma to take care of me when I am sick or hungry.

Gramps is harsh: he always tells me to do my best. He says it’s our duty as nobles to guide and protect normal people. I am still unexperienced, but gramps told me that I will understand once I found someone I want to protect with all of my heart.

That’s unfair! I want to protect both gramps and grandma, and all the folks in our village! I honestly want, but gramps still says I don’t understand a thing. He said:

“It’s one thing to protect all you care about, but having someone special is what makes a good man great”

When I asked who is gramps’ special person, he told me it is grandma. I still don’t understand. I love them all, you know! I can’t choose only one because others might be sad, and I don’t want to make them sad. I want them all to smile! Is it that hard?

Ah, I can see my friend, Marie-chan! She is easy to spot because of her hair: nobody but her has hair this black. Also, her ears stuck out a bit, and I find it cute. However, I am sure Marie will be angry, if I tell her this.

“Marie-chan! Good morning!”

I run to her. She is together with her adopted father, Klausel-san. He looks scary, but gramps says he is actually kind and loves to give little children sweets. Klausel-san is local healer; he is the one who saved Marie-chan’s life.

“Oh, your friend, Marie?”

She looks at me with dull eyes and then turns to Klausel-san, shaking her head. Marie doesn’t like to talk much, but expressions and gestures she makes are funny. However, I am not allowed to laugh at her or I will get my cheek pinched. Angry Marie is scary.

“Well, it looks this way to me. You can go play with him, child. I have some urgent matters to attend to”

Klausel-san adjusts his glasses and walks away, but not before petting my red hair. He has a sly smile on his face, which also makes me smile. I take Marie-chan’s arm and drag her to play. Hmm, her arm is so soft. I wonder if it’s because she is an elf, or because she is a girl.

We run together, but after a bit, Marie stops. She is breathing harshly. I must have overdone it a bit. Gramps always says how important it is to control my strength. And yet, I always break things, so other kids don’t want to play with me.

Marie-chan is the only one who stays with me, so I like her very much. Even though she always grumbles like an old man, she has never left me on my own. Grandma says she acts almost like a little kitten. Yes, I really like that side of her.

“Honestly, why are you always so active? Do you ever feel tired, idiot?”

Ah, it is her pet name for me! Marie calls me “idiot” all the time. I think it’s elven word for friend. Hurray!

“Hey, Marie-chan, do you know any other elven words beside “idiot”? I want to know more of them, so we could have a secret language only for us two!”

Marie-chan looks at me really strange. She blinks and says, dumbfounded.

“Idiot, I don’t know elfish. I don’t remember anything”

What? She wanders forward, telling me to keep moving if I still want to play. I guess, I will ask gramps later, and have some fun now. I go after Marie, laughing. Every day is fun with her!

[Later]

“Alan…”

Gramps looks at me and Marie-chan, but she refuses to look at him. She is really embarrassed: her face and ears are red like tomato. I don’t know the reason why.

“… What is this?”

He gestures at the thing before me, before sending a strange look our way. Marie-chan is still silent.

“It’s a treasure chest!”

Yeah, it has things made of gold, like rings or so. There is even a jeweled crown inside, and a really cool blade. I wonder if gramps allows us to keep it.

“I can see this. Question is how did you possibly find one?”

“It’s easy! We found a strange map, and, after fighting with a bunch of wild goblins, we found this thing! It was easy-peasy!”

Gramps sighs. It’s not a good sound.

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“I see. Well, I expected this from Alan, but nor from you, Marie-chan”

She holds the hem of her skirt tightly; she is about to cry. Gramps start to laugh.

“Well done, children! It is good to be so energetic when you are young! Marie-chan, you can go to your father; he is waiting you in the clinic”

Marie-chan obeys gramps’ orders, softly murmuring “idiot” on her way out.

Oh, I nearly forgot!

“Gramps! I have a question!”

“No, you can’t keep the sword, Alan”

“Not this one. What does the word “idiot” mean?”

He blinks at me, scratches his scalp and answers.

“It’s a person who does something stupid”

What? B-But I thought… I…

Is this what Marie-chan thinks about me? That I am stupid. That I am an idiot.

This is bad! Marie-chan is really smart, so it’s obvious she will want to talk with smart people, too. If I am stupid, she will leave me, and if she leaves me… 

I don’t want be alone anymore…

No! It’s a selfish way to think! I have gramps and grandma! They love me! They…

She doesn’t want to play with you. She doesn’t want to be friends with me. She doesn't...

“Alan, you okay, my boy?”

“Yeah… I-I am just a bit sleepy”

“That’s all?”

I nod slowly. He leaves me be, and I walk to my room and crawl under the sheets.

I’ve never felt myself this alone.

I just want to sleep and sleep…

“Hey, wake up”

I hear Marie-chan’s voice. Is this a part of the dream? Please, let this be a normal dream, and not one those nightmares I have. There is nothing but darkness and screams, and then so much red it hurts.

“Wake up, Alan!”

Someone’s arms pull my cover, and I open my eyes. It’s Marie.

This is bad. I need to make her go away somehow. I wonder if she leaves, I will remain silent. I turn away from her and face the wall.

“Alan? Are you okay? Percy-san says you acted really strange yesterday”

My breath hitch. Why… why does she cares about this stupid me so much? I always selfishly drag her to do stupid things, even though she has better things to do. She deserves better.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I want to help, Alan”

Her worried tone makes me tremble. Stop being so kind. Why? Why does she…?

Just why?

“Go away!”

Please, stay with me!

“You don’t need me! You don’t want to be friends with me, do you?”

It’s me who needs you. Please, let me be together with you.

“I am an idiot, after all!”

I don’t want to be in the dark no more

Suddenly, I feel myself warm. I look at hands, hugging me from behind. I can’t be Marie-chan: she hates to touch me without a reason. And yet, I hear her voice.

“Yes, you are a huge idiot. You bring nothing but trouble and always make me worry.

Honestly, it would be such a hassle to be your friend, and…”

She hugs me even tighter.

“… I can’t become your friend”

What? I turn my head, and see her smiling face.

“I can’t become your friend since we already are friends, Alan. I call you my friend all the time. Isn’t this right, “idiot”?”

I look and her smile and wonder…

Is this the special person I need to become great?