He:
I must admit that I expected better of these guys. I mean, their hideout was nothing more than a cave near the town, not even some kind of warehouse or something. And, while I admit that all these adventure novels that Marie made me read to broaden my vocabulary and sense of aesthetics raised my standards pretty high, the cave in question was even more disappointing because it was just a cave and nothing more. It wasn’t even abandoned mines!
And, to end this festival of disappointment, a single guard was on watch. A burly man with a huge beard, armed with a low-quality sword that blacksmiths usually claim to be a piece of art to overprice some newbie wannabe-adventurer. I am sure it was his first time holding a real weapon in hands, judging by the completely amateurish way he held it.
Now, it’s time to shine and be a hero. And, take down bastard who think they can mess with my precious childhood friend… Also, I am hungry so I will make Marie make something tasty after saving her from bandits. Thus, I jump behind the beard man, and…
His left kneecap shows obvious signs of damage: he is crippling on this leg. Also, incorrect posture means a novice with the sword means an easy target means lethal moves and weapon are not needed.
First comes the left punch aimed at his head to disrupt his concentration. Then, crack his knee completely with precise strike with my left. After this, an uppercut to his head again. Apply enough force for him to lose consciousness. Result – he will be out cold for some time, one broken leg and a killer headache, possibly – a brain trauma.
… I am ready to go!
She:
I must also admit that my capturers were, mildly said, disappointing, and not in a good way lie Alan does sometimes. Their defense was figuratively paper, they have almost no experience and their knot-roping need some brushing because I untied myself about a minute ago. In short, it was humiliating to be fooled by the likes of them. Even their leader was…
"So, mademoiselle, tell me what a tiny elf like you forgot in a rotten hole like this? Other than being a captive, of course"
… An utter moron for a number of reasons. He was a pretty boy with a mask and an ensemble worthy of a noble, brand new even. However, his accent turned annoying extremely fast, and the bombastic way he acted was even worse, all these unneeded gestures...
“I will tell you and only you, so make your henchmen go away. It is a private information, after all”
He looked me in the eyes and, after somehow making sure I wasn’t bluffing, sent his brutes to guard the entrance, which by this point Alas has already taken care of. He can be pretty reliable in potentially dangerous situation.
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“Now, mademoiselle, keep your end of a bargain and talk”
“Oh, stop this charade. I don’t know who you are trying to fool, but this won’t work on me. I mean, it’s painful to watch”
“Fine. For a captive, you got a sharp tongue. How do you know?”
“Your clothes. You have traditional eastern accent, but your style of wear is common for the northern nobles. And before you ask, I was trained to recognize such trivialities”
“I take it you are an ambassador then… or a spy. This explains the reward for your head, smart lady-girl”
Oh, I had enough of this prick. With this, I untied the rope.
He:
In hindsight, I need more intel on why exactly Marie was targeted by them, so I picked up my new friend, the beard sentry, I decided to have a nice chat between the two of us. Of course, after brutally dispatching two of his friends that appeared out of sudden. Fortunately, they were as strong as the first one. In other words, not even a challenge.
"I will give you one more try, bastard! Talk and I won't break your second leg!"
“I-I tell you I don’t know who, but there was a reward out on the elf’s head, preferably alive, so me and the boss decided to snatch her before the competition arrives! It’s all I know! I swear!”
A reward?
She:
“What reward? Speak or I will make you. You know, I always wanted to try my hand at teaching. However, I can only teach two things at the moment – friendship and pain. Now then, let’s start our lesson, shall we? I believe an introduction is in order. I also hope we will have a nice and productive conversation ahead of us, won’t we, girl?"
He – or should I say she? – looked at with astonished expression. Come on, I can clearly see you have no Adam’s apple this close, and it’s not like your voice sounds this manly. I mean, I am an idiot, and this cheap masquerade won’t fool me. Alan, on the other hand…
”So, what is your answer?”