What has led me to where I am today?

My life had never been particularly difficult, at least compared to others. I was gifted with book smarts, average looks and a healthy body. Despite all of that I couldn’t help but feel like I had completely squandered these gifts. After all, all that I had achieved was landing a mediocre job and living a lonely life in my apartment.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

Yet that dissatisfaction was no one's fault but my own. I had always dreamed big since I was young, yet I never put in the work or effort to bring my dreams to fruition.

I thought of myself as someone who could get by without actually trying. I was right, if I was satisfied with achieving nothing and going nowhere. My dreams would be abandoned and the faint hope thrown away.

But what I wanted was more, no, I needed more.

The pain built up and up, as if I was trying to take all of it for myself.

It was in highschool when my tendency towards laziness and arrogance had made itself known. The feelings slowly mounted, and even I grew embarrassed by my lack of motivation and effort. My audaciousness had run out as cracks began to show in my academic performance.

Yet no matter what I thought nothing changed. I’d have a revelation in the shower at 3 am and promise myself tomorrow I would fix everything. The next day I would wake up caught in a layer of exhaustion from my sleep deprivation, get through work and then do it all over again. This never-ending cycle was anything but healthy.

“Why didn’t you try then? Or maybe get a good night’s rest?” might you ask. Unfortunately those answers are something even I don’t really know right now. It was something I needed to pursue for myself, yet before I could begin searching I would find myself throwing out lazy excuses and justifying my failures with an indignant pride.

I wrenched myself back to the present. This sickening emotion had to disappear somehow. Otherwise those thoughts would soon find their place in my head again. With that sitting in the back of my mind I decided to head outside and do something productive.

“What productive thing are you planning to do?” I hear you asking again and my response remains the same, I got no goddamn clue.

And so I set out on a walk with no particular destination in mind. I drifted towards the game store I usually visited out of habit. When I arrived and opened the door I was greeted with the familiar cramped room, covered in a wide variety of board games, anime figures and dusty posters. The young cashier greeted me with a smile.

"Welcome, It's good to see you again. Is there anything in particular you're looking for or need help finding?"

"Nah, just looking around again. Thanks though."

I responded without much thought as I glanced around.

A large black and red book caught my eye. It was a hardback with yellowed paper and an ominous, yet oddly charming red pentagram emblazoned on its cover. This is definitely out of place… Maybe it’s an edgy new TTRPG?.. But no price tag.. hmmm

Stolen story; please report.

"So, uh, is this for sale?" I asked as I gestured towards the book.

"Oh, that thing? It's just something from the lost and found. Though since it's already been here for almost two months, I was about to throw it out after my shift ended. You want it?"

Thus, largely out of curiosity, I decided to get it.

"Sure, I'll also take a new set of dice too."

I grabbed a box of dice near the counter to buy as well. As silly as it was, I didn't want to feel bad about just coming and not buying anything.

After paying for the dice I took them and the mysterious book and decided to head home, completely forgetting about my original goal and motivation since I had left. A new curiosity burying the guilt.

I arrived home uneventfully and inspected the dubious book. I opened the book and read the first page.

“How To Summon A Demon

Demonic rituals are anything but safe in all cases. However, with years of experience and many lives sacrificed in pursuit of these rituals, I’ve managed to at least cut the risk in half. This ritual ensures the necessity of a contract for the demon to materialize. The contract would ensure a barrier of safety for the summoner from the creature summoned. To continue about the types of contracts go to page 124....”

Huh, can’t say I’m surprised based on how it looks. At least it’s an authentic looking fake I guess?... I think I’m going to try it… Maybe it’ll help me get out of this situation somehow…. Heh, as if….

As stupid as it was, I decided that I might as well try it and set to work on gathering the materials for "summoning a demon".

It was about two weeks later when I had gathered all of the materials required for the summoning process. I was Invested in the idea at this point and had nothing else to do for the day.

Let's do it.

Unfortunately, to finish the summoning ritual you had to spill your blood into the center of the circle precisely at midnight, so I'd probably be pretty tired at work tomorrow.

Like that’s anything new.

After setting up the summoning circle, I waited until it was time to start the ritual. I had timed the chant earlier and it lasted precisely two minutes so I decided to start as soon as the clock hit 11:58.

I began the chant precisely when the clock hit the correct time. It was a long chant in a strange foreign language, maybe latin? Thankfully I had practiced it, so I was fairly confident that I could pronounce it right. As the clock neared twelve I finished the final verse.

"O magnum coelicola quidam in inferna hora ego ad te oro te in hac materia contractus mecum in mundum fingunt."

The last words finished, I drew the small knife I had prepared and cut across the underside of my wrist.

It was a smooth and quick cut. Blood slowly dripped from my arm, glistening in the candle light with a strangely beautiful arc.

Drip… drip.. drip…

The blood made contact with the pentagram. A strange glow began to permeate throughout the room. The pentagram lit ominously. A brilliant scarlet light ignited. My eyes were seared from the intense radiance.

My mind spun in circles as it tried to make sense of what was happening.

It has to be a chemical reaction of some sort right? I mean there's no way that you can actually summon a demon! After all, they don't even exist in the first place…

Yet even as my mind denied reality, the circle continued to glow brighter and brighter.

THUD!

It hurts It hurts it hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts

My brain quickly emptied all thoughts as I saw nothing but red. The pain reverberated through my skull, growing into an unbearable cacophony of noise.

“AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH”

A scream wrenched its way free from my throat as I writhed.

My vision swam and it became impossible to focus as the pain worsened. As my vision darkened I heard something that sounded like talking echo through my head, the voice was a feminine sultry voice.

“G-od l-ck, you’ll ne-d it.”

Was the last thing I heard before my world went completely dark...