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Ch.9: Sushi No Bueno

“Guys! Heeeeey guuuuys!” Alan came crashing into the makeshift camp. Aaron, John and Lucy looked visibly relieved. Huh, wonder why? What were they worried about? “Guys! I found someone that can fucking do magic!” The three looked at each other.

“Shit, I knew there were parasites in the fish.”

“Maybe he ate something while he was gone?”

Alan glared at them and flipped the bird to emphasize exactly how much he appreciated their confidence in his statement. Then he stopped to reconsider and…

“Yeah, yeah I guess I do sound crazy. Still, I’m not wrong. Everyone, meet Purleo. Don’t call him the e-l-f word. Actually don’t call them a he either, I don’t really know which it is and they just seem to think it’s rude when I ask.” The Talor stepped out from behind a tree and presented themselves, looking over the camp with a look of… disappointment? Disapproval? Certainly it did not hold up much to scrutiny. The inhabitants though seemed to fair much better, receiving a sort of nod. Shit, Alan hadn’t gotten any kind of nod.

When Purleo glanced at Alan’s visible gut bulge, it made him wonder if the Talor could read his mind. Nah, he probably couldn’t. Even so… rude! That was rude! Just because the other three were all fit and stuff! Fitness was so much work. Lame.

“Alan… he has a spear!” Lucy hid behind, no wait, Lucy stepped in front of John, shielding him partially with her body. John raised an eyebrow at it, but didn’t argue. Alan berated himself for assuming the woman would just act meekly. Aaron was the one who stepped forward the most though, but not before picking up a palm sized stone from next to the unlit hypothetical fire pit. Hypothetical being the fire part. It was definitely a pit with kindling intended for fire, that part wasn’t hypothetical.

“…but he has greasy biscuits and weird jerky!” Ok, that didn’t sound that appealing. “Oh, and the magic thing. Frankly, if they wanted to hurt me, they could do it pretty easily I think.” Purleo watched the exchange with a blank expression, keeping a reasonable distance. The Talor’s eyes flicked back to the rock in Aaron’s hands regularly, even though they clearly were trying not to be obvious about it. Alan made a clear statement of where he stood by literally standing with his friends, facing the Talor. He also dug out the partial biscuit and jerky and passed them to John, who looked at them appraisingly for all of like half a second before eating more than his fair share.

“Dude, that’s all of it, don’t hog it.” John tried to spit out half the bite and ended up partially choking, frantically catching the partially chewed biscuit in his hands. “Gross.”

“John, are you OK? Is it poison?” John mumbled he was fine and offered the partially chewed part to Lucy, who grimaced at it. Seeing though that there was very little left of the biscuit… she grimaced and took the soggy wad and tore a bite off of the strip of jerky. Aaron kept his back to them.

“Purleo, was it? We don’t want any trouble and I want to say thank you for giving us something to eat. I just don’t feel comfortable with you having a weapon.” Purleo just stared blankly, then shifted his gaze to Alan.

“Oh, he doesn’t speak English. He speaks French and Spanish and German. Any of you know any of those?”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“I’ve forgotten all the Spanish.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I can speak a few words of Japanese.” They looked at John expectantly.

“I dunno, might be worth a shot…”

“I mean… just what I picked up from anime…’

“John. Seriously.” Alan just couldn’t believe all these high achievers didn’t really know any other languages. John shrugged. Lucy gave him a look. “Fine. Fine, I’ll keep trying with the German.”

“You speak German?” Lucy seemed surprised. Hell, John seemed surprised. Aaron seemed like Aaron’s back because Aaron didn’t turn around, keeping an eye on Purleo and a grip on his throwing rock.

“No goddamned respect. Purleo-san, Aaron-san, Lucy-san, John-chan.” Purleo nodded his head at each indicated namesake.

“WTF man, don’t call me John-chan! That’s not even German!”

“Shut-up, ok? Arigato, John-chan!” John gave him that look that said he was going to get payback at some point, but Alan didn’t care. He made a show of cracking his neck and his knuckles. He paused for dramatic effect. Then… he spoke.

“Purleo, Aaron hat angst über ihre… uh… spear. Das dinge, in seinen hand?” Purleo looked at the spear, then back at Aaron and his rock. The Talor seemed to be weighing things in their mind.

“Haben Sie Zaubersphruchen?” Alan’s friends looked at him in a new light… oh they just wanted to know what the Talor had said.

“Fuck if I know what a Zauberspruch is. Sounds like it’s something for cleaning.”

“Does he want… to take a bath? The river is just over there.” Aaron offered helpfully.

“I’m pretty sure I just don’t understand the word. Um, was ist ein Zauberpruch?”

“Magie.” Madgie? Maggy? What were… magic?

“Magic? Magie? Wie fruher, mit dem Wind?” He mimed the wind blowing and knocking him over. Purleo looked amused and nodded. “Nein, wir haben es nicht.” Purleo’s eyes narrowed and he did that thing he did where his gaze suddenly went blank. There was that intense tingling again and everyone started freaking out. Aaron cursed and hauled back on the rock, letting it fly at the Talor. Damn, dude had good aim. Talor dude though, just casually dodged the rock. In almost the same motion, the spear was lifted and thrown. Everyone watched in shock as it sailed through the air and embedded itself deeply into its target.

That poor, poor patch of dirt never knew it was coming. Oh, plus it was like well to the side and not at all in the direction of them. That was probably relevant, though honestly Alan had already figured if Purleo could so casually just knock him down with a gust of wind, that they would be totally fucked in a fight with the Talor. For that reason, he figured that diplomacy was going to be the best bet. Alan was no expert, but it stood to reason for him that diplomacy required either leverage or trust and they frankly had no leverage.

Thus extending the Talor trust by bringing him to the others. Only maybe he didn’t think too carefully about how the others would feel. He’d been concerned about their safety and just decided unilaterally that they weren’t any less safe with Purleo knowing where they were… which was definitely not proving up on the trust from their end. Damnit.

“Halt! Wait, please everyone. Chill out. Look, he threw his spear away!” Aaron was about to let loose another rock, stopping with it pulled back for the throw.

“Alan… shit, fine.” Aaron made a show of dropping the rock, though the tension didn’t leave his friends. “What does this guy want anyways?”

“All they’ll say is that they want to see us, talk to us, and understand. No matter what I ask, that’s all I get.” Aaron scratched at his chin. Alan could hear the faint scritch sound from the stubble Aaron was sporting. Like… maybe two days and the guy was sporting a pretty good batch of chin fuzz. Alan was still almost smooth. Never had been a fast beard grower. Hell, John put them to shame though, he had enough going on that he almost looked like he had a very short beard on purpose. Yet he had incredibly smooth back and shoulders…

“Alright. Alan, you’re the only one who can communicate with words with the guy right now, but I think this needs to be a group thing. You relay what they say, we’re going to discuss it, then you provide the response. What does everyone think?” There were nods and murmurs of agreement all around and hey, took the pressure off of Alan.

Time to communicate via committee.