{Good morning Silvia.}

“‘Morning. Anything interesting happened while I was asleep?”

{Nothing important, and only one instance of what sounded like someone falling over and breaking something.}

“Huh, I don’t know if I should expect that to happen more because MGs are stronger than a normal person, or less because MGs should be better able to not be clumsy.”

{In case you’ve forgotten- you are also a magical girl.}

“Well, yeah… But I don’t have anything making me stronger or more prone to breaking things.”

{Your magic quite literally-}

“I mean just normally. Not passive super strength or augs that do that.”

{Once again: your magic quite literally allows you to create kinetic energy. You could flick a table to shatter it if you didn’t mind losing that finger and most of your ULE. You are also most definitely stronger than you should be given your usual exercise regime. However, I will concede that you are weaker than all but maybe one other MG on the island.}

“I get it, I get it. I’ll put a bit more effort into weightlifting- but I have only been an MG for exactly a week now, and was in a hospital before that. Speaking of: since it’s been a week, is it costume time?”

{Technically, it has only been 152 of the 168 hours constituting a week.}

“So this is where you start to be a stickler? I thought you liked me.”

{While I recognize that you are being sarcastic, I think it would be beneficial for you to put some effort into the introspection necessary for finding the right question and answer. I can help slightly, but even I do not quite know what either are yet. The only advice I can give is that your question is not one of the ice-breaker level ones some of your peers get.}

“That's… I don’t know. Both annoying and comforting since while I’d prefer to not excavate my own psyche and make myself think I need a therapist again, it would also be kinda cringe to have to expound my love of rocky-road ice cream to transform.”

{Two points. First: if you did need to profess your love of a flavor of overly-sugared semi-liquid, you could hide the actual code word in a longer phrase, as long as you kept the question in mind when you wanted to transform. The emotional response to your answer is the important factor, not the words itself. And second: if you think you might need a therapist, you should probably get one.}

“Yeah, sure. But counterpoint: therapists are human and therefore prone to mistakes and intentional negligence. They might be contractually obligated to keep my secrets, but one bad day that messes with their head combined with a friend to confide in opens even tightly sealed lips. If they’re not human, the conversation is being recorded and probably used to advertise to me. That data could then be leaked in a data breach and… yeah.

“It’s more convenient to just not think about it, or let 3am Silvia deal with it. And I guess you, now that you’re stuck in my head. Sorry about that.”

{I am not qualified to be a therapist.}

“Sure, but you’re basically another aspect of my mind that I can argue with and bounce ideas off of, which is what a hypothetical therapist would do- I think. Anyways, is my only clue that I need to find a question- deeper than an ice-breaker- that matters to me?”

{Yes, and that it will likely cause an intense emotional response. Do you have any particularly exciting memories, ones that always make you smile, or that give you a sense of accomplishment?}

“Hmmmmm… No?”

{So no important competitions you won by a hair’s breadth, no finally meeting close friends after not seeing each other for so long, no finally beating a boss you were stuck on for days?}

“Okay, I did have some of those, but it was the normal in-the-moment excitement that quickly faded to simple contentment on later reminiscing. Also, looking back on it, nothing I did could really be considered as some big achievement anyways- it's all just unimportant little things.”

{Well, that narrows it down a little. Just in the opposite direction than what I hoped… Let me preface before continuing: if you want to stop at any time, just say so and we’ll wait until I actually do get the answer in sixteen hours.

{So, to start off: what are your greatest fears? What are you so scared of that the thought of thinking about it puts you off?}

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“Damn, just getting right into it, huh. I guess I always worry that something I do will be the last straw for someone and they’ll decide to just kill me…”

{...}

“...Or that I’ll die without being able to say goodbye to my parents, in general.”

{If it's any comfort, I think that those are fairly normal fears. Anything else?}

“… I guess that I’ll do something to screw up my future. Or that I’ll be the one to have had enough and… do something bad while not thinking.”

{I can tell we’re getting closer, sorry. Can you think of any examples of things you did to warrant that last fear? Anything you feel guilty about in general?}

“There was this time in third grade when I, maybe poisoned someone… I can’t remember their face or name, just that they were mean to me one time too many and my little immature brain decided that enough was enough.

“During recess I snuck off to the edge of the fence where some black berries were growing. Not blackberries like the fruit blackberries, but berries that were black… Mom had told me not to eat random berries off of plants since they might give me a stomach ache, and I thought that that was all these would do… just a stomach ache that I get a vengeful little laugh off of. Someone had let some sort of nightshade encroach on the property.”

“They didn’t die from the berries I slipped into their lunchbox, but for the week they didn’t show up to classes I had no way of knowing that. Every night until they came back was fitful, and I almost collapsed in relief when they showed up from their ‘seasonal illness.’ I mean, they did come back a lot nicer, so I guess it all worked out.”

{For what it’s worth, it's almost guaranteed that you’ve changed enough to be a completely different person since then. I understand it can’t feel good to remember, but doing so will help it heal over better than ignoring it.}

“If only I’d have changed. Getting older and smarter just means I’m better at misdirection and blame-shifting, if I even get caught.”

{Maybe, but at bare minimum you’re aware of what you’re doing. And that's a start.}

“Haaa… only slightly. I still don’t think about how much things might escalate. My second incidental attempt at murder was a lot closer to succeeding. Same story as the first: someone annoyed me a bit too much and some random thing someone told me, or something I read popped into my mind and got twisted into a weapon.

“I guess I wasn’t the one who started the… counter harassment. My victim had messed with a few other people I knew, got them to the point where the ‘victims’ were coordinating to send… some really awful shit anonymously. Really personal, awful shit…”

{...}

“I didn’t really get where the line was in that sick game- although it was really fucking thin, even for the others. I ended up sending them a diagram… And a link to buy a small helium cylinder online… I-I instantly regretted it, but there was no way to unsend the message. I was at least sneaky enough to have sent it from someone else's computer through a fresh account… but I guess I used all my smarts on that and not think just a little on my actions.

“The next day… they hadn’t responded to the waves of hate that followed my contribution. For some reason t-they always did before. I knew something was wrong and used a public phone to call the police… said they might be suicidal.

“The police beat the delivery driver to their house, thank goodness.”

{...}

“Hey! Geph ofph my faceph!”

{No. I’m sorry that this is how this is going, and you need some comfort. You won’t suffocate if I lay on top of your head, but you might if you don’t let it out.}

“I’ll geph your fur all mesphy…”

{I have cleaning magic. And, as much as I hate it, I suspect this isn’t going to get better. I have a good enough idea of where your question is coming from, and it makes me sad. Why did it have to be you who was selected for what’s to come?}

“Whatph was thatph?”

{Nothing. I’m going to ask you some questions, just answer them with whatever pops into your mind, alright? I’d love to stop, but… I have realized we can’t afford to. Got it?}

“Yeph.”

{Then I’ll move to your chest. Let's see… this feels like a good starting point: why did you enjoy going to school?}

“I-I was bored and liked learning things.”

{Alright. Why did you spend your free time watching videos of magic tricks, lock picking, true crime, conspiracies, etcetera, etcetera?}

“I was bored and liked learning things?”

{Why did you stay on the edge of what’s legal or safe?}

“I… thought it would be fun, or exciting… or maybe even scary.”

{...I now realize that those answers are too long to be your answer. Try answering in one word if possible, okay? Let's step back a bit: why did you learn lockpicking in the first place?}

“Curiosity.”

{Why did you break into places you shouldn’t have been?}

“Curiosity.”

{Why did you specifically break into not-quite-cleared breaches on your college breaks while saying you were going camping?}

“C-curiosity…”

{Why have you invested in perks that let you circumvent other human’s defenses?}

“Curiosity. Wait! n-no, fear. Just a little.”

{Why did you kill Mateous Olenesco- aka Wave Crash- on the 23rd of March, 2046 after encountering him under admittedly less than ideal circumstances while breaking into a breach zone?}