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A guide: How to build a harem in 21st century [Real World, politics, magic]
None of anything would happen if you just stayed at home and played Minecraft with me

None of anything would happen if you just stayed at home and played Minecraft with me

“Do-you-guys-have-unicorns?” I swung the bat, barely grazing the shuttlecock and caught my breath, but that felt like the best I could do to accuse this magical world of no magical creatures.

Souyo gracefully waved his racket and scored his fifteenth win. “Nope.” He replied calmly, as if his past hour had been spent in leisure.

“I’m done, I’m done.” I sprawled across the surface of the plane, didn’t even have the strength to pick up the bottle of water he rolled towards me, “This isn’t fair. You—you have been outside adventuring— and I— had to stay at home—and play the good boy.”

“A lot had happened when I was away, wasn’t it?” Souyo sat down beside me, “I can’t believe your badminton skill worsened—or that Deyi and Dejie are now going to college.”

“Magician’s family— need to—go to Magician’s college.” I coughed, and the water in my mouth escaped from my nose, “I spent a whole day on the internet—trying to find where Yggdrasil University is. And then only got to know it from family staff.”

“Glamorgan County. Didn’t you remember that? I thought you would since you liked your friends from there.” Souyo stared at the metal ceiling, “To be honest, the fact Deyi and Dejie got interested in Yggdrasil instead of something like Imperial College London is probably our credit.”

“What friends? And how is that our credit?” I flipped sideways to look at Souyo’s eyes, “They are just smart enough to get into any colleges they want. Not like my intelligence is good enough to help them.”

“Maximize your cousins’ effort, I like that.” He laughed. “Distance is easily built but hard to bridge.” He placed his hands beneath his head, “It all starts with two young girls calling you, twenty-four-seven, like orioles: ‘Oh Captain, my captain.’ Then the lady of the house passed—”

“Souyo, are you in your menopause? I was just about to forget about this.”

“—And a pathetic, thick, invisible wall suddenly stood between all of us, and only the occasionally ‘hey’ was sent during holidays. Soon there will be one day when everyone just loses connections, and whenever a mosaic of memory flashes across the minds, all I could represent is ‘that undead one, why hasn’t he died yet?’ and nothing else.”

“Fine. Why do you have to play the pity card?” I groaned, “I'll just call them more often, okay? Shouldn't I be the sentimental one here? I'm the one forced to stare at my genius cousins' backs.”

“You will just one day find your own path, maybe more colourful than your sisters’.”

“Yeah, but you just told me this world has nothing to offer me.” I rested my right ear on my arm, and the non-slip bumps on the floor itched me, “No unicorns, no legendary sword or wand, no magical rings, no artefacts that can either save or destroy your world, not even a medieval European world setting. All we have are shit tons of people and politics— and I’m not even as smart as my cousins to be able to soak my head in knowledge and at least temporarily forget these things. We live in the lamest magical world ever—If this is a novel or movie, I’m not even sure if I want to pay to see it.”

“But you have me, someone whose head was blown out but still lives. I think not every adventure involves swords, monsters and treasure,” He helped himself up, looked at the indicator light turning green, “You may want to buckle up during landing. Professor wouldn’t want to see you with a swollen face.”

“What Professor?” I asked, but he probably didn’t hear me before tying me to the seat, due to the large noise made by engines.

I had a love-and-hate attitude towards the C-17 “Fatty” we owned since 2008. The space was generous, and an extra tank spared us a detour for refuelling in Russia. But she did not have a shower and a bathtub like the Il-76 we own, and she always made a jolt during landing, as if its soaring spirit couldn't be tamed by pilot levers. With a bump on my head caused by the landing, I stepped onto Canadian soil in a sweat. But vigilance overcame my annoyance the moment I stepped out of the plane.

“Where the hell is this?” I asked, “Australia?”

Souyo looked around with a hint of pride. “Welcome to what we've built over the past couple of years.”

“You built a city in 2 years? What is this world to you, Minecraft?” I pointed at the largest and weirdest building I could see, “Did you build a giant mushroom or is that two penises crossing each other?”

“No, airships on the elevator exit. You should see what happened two weeks ago when they were evacuating the civilians and workers, at least two dozen airships working here non-stop.” The pilot grappled the hose with his arms like he was holding a bear cub and struggled to connect it to the backup tank, “You are in a Void colony now, kid. I’ll keep the plane in ready mode if you dislike the new environment, but relax, you are going to a party.”

“Great, Captain Hua is a magician too— Am I the only one who’s not a magician? How come I never noticed?”

“Almost everyone working for the House of Haos is a magician.” My pilot said, “Or why do you think we always casually walk out of your build-in wardrobe?”

“I thought you were cheating your wife with my maid Fionna.”

“The Irish girl? No, she happened to be Ignorant—non-magic folks, as we say.” The pilot casually explained, “And then she discovered something, and we wiped her memory, and right now she’s probably somewhere in Dublin thinking she spent three years overdosing in Amsterdam.”

“What is your nature?”

“Void, just like yours, we are relatives, meaning we have the same nature.”

“How do you overcome the frustration of having a nature that is too common to be special?”

He laughed—which I didn’t find interesting—and patted my shoulders. “One day you will realise, that the moment one grows up is when he realises he is not the special one.” He rubbed his hands against his coat and twisted the fuel value, “But you are still too young for that. Go enjoy the party and do whatever a teenager would do.”

So. Twelve hours of flight and another disappointment later, I stood atop a building, bathing in no sun but the light still emanated from nowhere but everywhere. The light and scenery reminded me of standing on the dome of St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City, staring at a vast, empty landing space wrapped by buildings leaving only one straight way for aircraft to land, like the stalk of sunflower, or the end of crop circle I saw in my dad’s investigation when I was 8. There was a cultural festival event going on the roof of the building, but I could not identify the country of culture, cheering for something with languages I couldn’t understand.

“They are celebrating because this colony will finally be closed down.” Souyo translated their words for me and spoke some French with other people as well.

“Come what may, they are a bunch of losers with Void nature, just like me.” I hid my neck and face in collars, resisting the goosebumps of my skin feeling comfortable as someone who walked a few miles in large snowflakes finally stepped into the home with a fine, hot fireplace. “I know people cheer because a country established a colony to boast how strong they are. Never heard people cheering over a colony closing.”

“But I think, the cheering they are making now sounds more sincere than illusionary nationalism. Aye?”

People often cling to this—stereotype, that only immense power can shape the world. While many things can indeed be achieved through the application of sheer, great power, the most dramatic changes in our worlds often originate from seemingly insignificant forces. Consider the initial light bulb, which consumed 16 watts of electricity, or the inaugural car, boasting 0.75 horsepower. A force pulled by a young Bosnian's finger on the trigger of his M1910 pistol, aimed at the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, poised like the drumstick before colliding with two awakening prologues of wailing and moaning, was merely 3 pounds. And then, when the owner of that voice—a lady of scarlet—sat right next to me, both she and I had no idea that the balance of destinies had been subverted by such a small effort at that moment.

“Mr Normandy.” She greeted first, holding a cup of warm, steaming apple cider in her hands, her fiery red hair contrasted sharply with her pale complexion. “And Ninety-nine, it’s wonderful to see you again. You two seem to have caught the tail end of our celebrations.”

“Do I know this lady?” I asked myself, but this idea only briefly stayed in my head for less than a nano-second before it vanished into stardust. To me back then, strangers showing friendliness was the prelude to bad prospects of gain, and the best way to respond was to stay quiet and wait for Souyo to represent.

“Professor,” But Souyo sounded even more sincere even when he already was the most sincere person in the world, “I got to confess something, Ninety-nine. Professor Scathach said she’d let your sisters pass the admissions if you say thanks to her.”

“Thank you,” I repeated robotically, starting to wonder did someone skinned Souyo alive and sat next to me with Souyo’s skin covering. Since when did a Hao need to thank someone? Haos never owe anyone a debt, only others owe Hao debts — Uncle Kelvin said that was the only reason why our family lasted two thousand years while all other things crumbled like crackers I cropped under tank caterpillars.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

“For a thousandth time,” I heard my dad’s voice sounding in my brain, “1600 years! Our family history wasn’t that long!”

“You don’t look so well. Are you feeling sick?” She looked at me and smiled, tilted the thick glass cup towards me, “Would you like to have some?”

Although I regret it now, I did not accept her kindness at once. If you grow up in an environment like mine, where there will be at least 20 people every day—politicians, capitalists, media—come to your doorstep, offering fake kindness or benefits and trying to squeeze out the most benefit you can offer to them, you’d think she was just another one of these masses, too. “Scathach—Scathach, that name sounds familiar.” I mumbled, realising something, “How do you spell your name?”

“S-C-A-T-H—”

“Ah, so that is how you pronounce your name—You are the person who wrote that book?” I tried my best to recall the name of the book, “Intro—does it start with the word intro?”

“I see someone is learning in advance with cousins’ textbooks.” She exhaled warm breath to her hands, “Introduction to Dynamics—might be a little too advanced for you, is it not?” She reached towards the space in front of her, and just like the air was submissively following her hand, the space near her hand bent like wavy heat in Texas. I reached out towards her hand to feel the temperature but felt nothing strange but a book she passed me with a hardcover.

“This book is called ‘Fundamentals of Dynamics and Circuit Transfer.’” She said, somehow she reminded me of these CD scams in Times Square, “people around your age have been telling me that they prefer this.”

I flipped for a few random pages and finally found some interesting illustrations. “Cool,” I said, “how much for this?”

“I assume your family already paid it with kindness.” She helped her head above the tale with one arm, probably because the weight of knowledge made her neck hard to support, “And, if that wasn’t enough, your adorability fixed it. You haven’t really woken up, aye?”

Do I look like a sleepyhead? I was going to ask but Souyo was faster. “Actually, we sneaked out of China right before any NC5s would bring him to Beijing.” Souyo said, “But since you share Nature, if only you don’t mind?”

“That would be my pleasure.” She reached out a hand towards me, “May I?”

Don’t mind what? And may you what? I looked at her pale but slender fingers and at first, never felt more confused in my entire life. People are born with three questions: Who am I, where am I, and what should I do, and the moment her fingers entwined in mine, all these three questions got answers. It all started with a sudden jerk, like the one you would have the moment before falling asleep but a hundred times more relaxing. And, out of plain thin air, a few azure, flickering ribbons seeped out, waltzed in front of my eyes. More and more ribbons started to gather, weaving themselves into an ocean of pure azure. Some drops of them approached me affectionately, and I tried to dodge due to vigilance, but just like someone who guided countless magicians across the silver lining, the warmness passed from her fingers calmed me.

“They look beautiful, eh?” She asked, “They’ll be upset if you try to avoid them. All they want is to make you happy.”

I stopped right there. These ribbons spun around me lively and merged into my skin as they waited for me to give them tacit consent. It did not feel hot or cold like I imagined, but gentle tingling and numb, similar to massage, as if a cascade of tiny bubbles dancing beneath my skin, leading me to connect with all these azure energies around me. People gathered around, and watched silently during the process of my awakening, and as I darted my eyes over the people, I saw their eyes giving out gentle azure light, and these azure sang the same tune with the ribbons with resonance. I turned my head to Souyo excitedly, he smiled at me, violet eyes had a layer of blue attached to them. Scathach’s fingers jumped away from my hand, but the azure forever framed the world in my eyes.

“Congratulations.” She said.

“Congratulations!” Someone in the crowd cheered. The heavily bearded guy sitting next to me passed me a cup of hot apple cider, a freckly girl opened her void space and pulled out an accordion and happiness started to hop out of the instrument, and uproarious laughter and liveliness came back to the rooftop party at once. Every magician needs to pass that procedure — we call it “open the dam” in Chinese— most magicians are born with an energy system that isn’t fully opened to avoid certain sicknesses, therefore someone else has to help him open the entire system. Some chubby ladies in long black patterned dresses and white shirts held my hands and danced in a circle, and through the crowds of people, I intermittently saw Souyo and Scathach whispering to each other, she passed something to him and walked away.

They are so different — that was the first idea that flashed across my mind. Souyo was such a harmonic person, that he could have a white person’s face among a bunch of Asians and made the scene not strange. Scathach, on the other hand, stood in a crowd of magicians and still seemed like she was living in a separate world, like a whale swimming along with sharks.

— She is lonely. If I were in her shoes, I would want someone to be with me.

As soon as that idea appeared in my head, I found myself standing in front of her. How did I manage that? I asked myself, looked back at these dancing ladies who were not surprised and just waved at me and continued their lively routine. “For an awakened magician, use their Dynamics is as easy as newborn’s first breath,” That is what Scathach wrote in the book she gave me, but wasn’t the answer I wanted to seek most— I found the answer I wanted when I stared at her scarlet eyes. In an ocean of pure azure, even just two drops of blood make the entire view abrupt.

“Don’t abuse your Resonant Circuits so much, dear, you may get injured,” she remarked, her tone gently teasing. "Had I known you were coming today, I would have instructed myself instead of Mr. Normandy to provide you with celebration candies.”

“Yeah — no, no.” my words stumbled out, my awkwardness becoming palpable. “I—just want to thank you for helping me, and the book. And I want to apologise for my attitude.”

“I never took offence, and I'm guessing you were simply feeling disoriented,” she responded with a patient smile.

“Great, it is just — other than from my House, it is my first time receiving something without the giver expecting something bigger in return.” I scraped my brain with force to find the words to say it, “Just like — you know that it is all a trade, right?”

"Now you've got me intrigued," she leaned gracefully against the railing. "Care to enlighten me?"

“My cousins, they got into your school — House of Hao operates like that. Your university — your empire — has some troubles they cannot solve, so they come to us with presents — and Haos solve this problem, asking many other things in return, in this case, two admission quotas as a side.”

Right at this moment, I have a thousand ways to deliver the message I want more politely and tactfully, but back then, I was just a teenager, too hesitant to tell her that she was too clean for this world. But she didn’t mind the fact that I insulted her empire, she just leaned there with a smile.

“Would you care to take a stroll with me?” She suggested, blinking at me with a warm smile, “That apple cider has me feeling a bit overheated.”

“Don’t lean on the railings.” I said, “Might not be safe.”

"Your uncle Kelvin supervised the construction of these buildings about twenty years ago. It was his first project as a contractor instead of an actor.” she shared casually. "I imagine he'd feel disheartened to hear you question the reliability of his work."

I quickly searched my memory and calmed down when I found no results regarding my uncle’s history of jerry-built projects. I climbed onto the railings and stared at the empty square with my plane in the middle. She is definitely lonely, I told myself, no one else would abandon a party to look at such lonely scenery.

"Only a few weeks ago, this square would have been teeming with people. Street vendors hawking food, hungry workers on their lunch breaks," Scathach mused. "Have your parents shared with you the list of the favours requested by the Empire of Enclaves?"

“A list of banned military equipment and materials, including three Boeing CH-47 Chinook helicopters, five Boeing V-22 Osprey aircraft, twelve MH-6 ‘Little Bird’ helicopters, military-grade helium, fuels and things.”

"Your memory is quite remarkable, remembering all those codes and names," she remarked with a hint of surprise. "Do you understand the purpose behind those acquisitions?"

“Pissing Americans off?” I shrugged.

“Well, that, probably, and something else. Across the American continents, there's a shortage of Dynamic Sources, or Ling-Chi Springs as they're known in China," she elaborated. "Enclaves living in the Americas need to travel to Eurasia continent to replenish their Dynamics before they run out. The Empire uses airships for transportation, but the Void Leap Engines on these airships are affected by the ongoing Russian civil conflicts. Originally, the Empire planned to abandon the colony, employ helicopters to ferry people to a southern coastal location and then collect them via airship. Haos intervened and offered to use your transportation to enable the magicians to recharge in China. This decision extended the life of this colony by three additional years, providing everyone here an opportunity to continue their scientific research and experiments, potentially benefiting humanity in the years ahead." With that, she scooped me up into her arms, as if I were a giant teddy bear growing from vines. "So, the people here are grateful—while they might not know you're a member of the House of Haos, their gratitude extends to you. I, too, am grateful."

“So you are saying, even these political exchanges can come with good results?”

“I would say that, and I also would say I believe that even the most ruthless forces can be harnessed for good purposes.” She rested her chin on my head and looked at the distant horizon with me, “And I have a feeling you're beginning to see similarities in your cousins' situation. I reviewed their application and thought they would enhance the goodwill of the House of Hao, therefore I voted yes. The two recommendation letters from His Majesty, as the Chinese would say, were like sparkling gems atop an already splendid crown. Even if all they had were those two recommendation letters, acquired with no wills but political exchange, and I had voted against them, if the other eleven members of the board had voted in favour out of gratitude for Haos' benevolence, I would still view that as a successful outcome. Same rules would be applied to you, if you are interested in studying there when you grow up.”

In her embrace, I found it challenging to summon a retort. I was definitely drunk by the smell of her, and later, I would discover it was the fragrance of blackcurrant. “Life is complicated.” I sighed, “Politics, especially.”

“I won't disagree with you on that,” she said, “But at least it is never dull.”

“You are not dull.” I silently added Scathach to my “good things from Ireland” list, along with Guinness and Conan O’Brien, “You talk like smart people. Not even Souyo sounds as smart as you. how can you be so smart with Void nature?”

“I don't believe there's an inherent contradiction between possessing a Void nature and possessing knowledge,” Scathach said, “Mr. Normandy did mention that you have reservations about your Void nature.”

“You made me think Void nature is cool now.” I said, “But don’t you feel like Void is somewhat useless, compared to cool natures like Souyo’s stopping physics?”

“Oh, darling, nothing in this world is useless,” she casually opened her book and pointed at a paragraph she located, “In fact, people used to think whale oils are useless, but it started two Magical Revolutions.”

“How? It’s just fat.” I swept across the paragraph, again, finding myself idiotic enough to not understand half of the content, “And what does the word ‘volatile’ mean? Do you Europeans rape whales?”

“Volatile means—”

She grasped me in her arms and covered me with her body, her muscles reacted instinctively as the ground quaked beneath our feet and a raging fireball soared skyward, greedily lapping up our horizon to the level when the entire void was as bright as equatorial noon. It took the empire two years to build an airship, yet as the largest firework I ever saw, it only lasted three seconds, before staggering to the ground like it was a sinking, shot whale. That roar when it hit the ground was filled with grievance, but even that roar was quickly devoured by fire.

“—Explosion,” Scathach muttered, “Oft.”