“Can you appreciate the irony here?” Josephine burst into laughter, “You? Protecting her?”

“I don’t find any part of my words hard to understand, or laughable.”

“No, it is very laughable that a teenager just said, he would prevent a thousand-year-old woman from death— you are too young to understand the differences between being a protector and being a control freak,” the hidden sound of mockery was even louder, “but, in some ways, I guess your decision is correct. What gives you this idea that she needs your protection?”

“I think Scathach is too simple-minded,” I pressed the elevator button, “A large part of her is motivated by kindness. Considering you are a bunch of pathetic refugees who almost got killed by some insiders, I assume there isn’t a decent survival chance for any of you there, back in the empire.”

She took back that smirk, “What are you planning here?”

“Sanctuary. Do you know that ignorants’ United Kingdom is the largest foreign intelligence station in China? The same rules apply here in void.” I reached a hand to keep the elevator door open for her when she walked out, “Most of these people are clerks and diplomats, it is easy to move most of the people to the Imperial embassy stationed in China. As for residents like you—” I patted her shoulders, “— we have a lot of agents in the empire.”

“Using secret agents to protect people without intelligence to use? What a waste.”

“Let’s be honest, your life isn’t worth anything to me, but probably means everything to Scathach. The last thing I want to happen is her feeling guilty for not being there to protect people and hop back to the empire.” I pulled open the door between illusion and reality, looking at Scathach’s smile, “So do we have a deal?”

“What deal did you two close?” Scathach asked gently, didn’t know she had just been sold by Josephine a moment ago.

“Scathach!” I jumped into her arms, silently wearing that invisible mask of innocence, “Ms Josephine said she’ll take me to rose bath after we find that homunculus!”

“That’s great, darling, would you mind keeping quiet? I’m trying to hide from your aunty for a while—”

Aunty Suer stormed into the changing room with four of her limbs like a Wendigo, and dragged Scathach out while I watched and entertained. “Chugging and forcing people to chug alcohol—it’s the characteristic of Haos,” I smiled to Josephine, “you just need to experience it.”

“Looks like a grand waste,” she squinted at the bottles on the bar.

“I need your skill in diplomacy, not your skill in whiskey history— damn, that’s a lot of empty bottles. Do we have a deal or not?”

Of course we had a deal, there wasn’t an option of disobeying a Hao on Hao’s island. Duchess Boyle lost consciousness in a plate of prosciutto face-down, falling into a deep, snoring sleep— Josephine immediately tried to run when she saw the scene, and I was faster on locking the door and showed her my evil smile.

“I just said I would offer you freedom after our cooperation,” I said, smiling just like Souyo when he lured Scathach into this way of revenge, “I never said I’m not going to punish you for singing a different tune on the plane.”

“New drinking companion!” Aunty Suer yelled, and she soon dragged Josephine away, leaving me enough time to save Scathach and hide her in the washroom. “Oh, thank you, my saviour,” she made a few hasty kisses on my hair, “your aunty is such a drinker.”

“How much did she force you to drink?” I casually smelled the whiskey aroma on her.

“Two bottles of whiskey and that bottle of wine, all in five minutes after you left,” she held me in her arms and listened to the hubbub outside, “is that why you call her a tyrant?”

“No, that is just Chinese hospitality, but she did have two confirmed kills with alcohol, though.” I reached a hand to pull her ear lobe gently, “after she got that title, she drank two Russian ambassadors to death. You should’ve come with us when Souyo said that we really needed ice cream.”

“I was thinking, at least one Demi-immortal should stay with the two ladies.”

“Not really, that was Hao Suer out there, that homunculus we defeated was like a starter to her.”

Her lips curled slightly, “I could barely defeat that homunculus.”

“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t try to fight her after she’s drunk, her combat effectiveness doubles with alcohol.”

Like she was trying to prove my thesis, a fist went through the door and hooked onto it, tearing the door down and casually putting it aside. “Professorrrrr,” the tyrant stretched her sound like the psychopath in movies, “come out and playyyyy—”

“Quick, do that teleportation thing,” I said calmly.

Honestly, the situation outside wasn’t very good, too. The mall area looked like the Third World War happened there, the buffet was out of order, and chefs were still alive but that was probably only because they had knives and they could lock the doors of the kitchen and play defence. Souyo and Cornelia sat on the marble edge of the musical fountain and silently ate ice cream, like Souyo could predict the future of us rally up there.

“How’s Chinese hospitality treating you?” Souyo asked with joy while pulling the chair for me, and looked a bit disappointed when he saw me change my usual seat to the one next to Scathach.

“Makes me a bit homesick,” Scathach answered, “I hadn’t drunk so much whiskey so quickly since, well, forever. I’m terribly sorry for the mess we created.”

“Well, that is Brits for you, they take everything once they have a chance,” Souyo whistled, giving a smile of joy when he successfully attracted my attention, “sometimes you end up in the restaurant with a Scot and you think ‘oh, no, god, please not a Celt,’ but then if you stuff ten Brits of English and Welsh, the Scot suddenly felt like the most reasonable and loving person in the world.”

“So a Scottish, an Irish, and a French walk into a restaurant,” I joked, “the waitress comes over to take their order—”

“Waitress got frightened and left work early today,” the head chef said with a warming smile, “so what about me serving you? What can I bring you on this glorious evening?”

“Depends on your survived stock, Chef Helene. What do you still have?”

“Cold store Beta fell after heavy bombardment, general, but we still have control over Alpha, Gamma and Delta.” My chef played military commanding with me just like when I was a kid, “And how are you, my young lady? Can I still interest you with Oysters from Connemara as your starter?”

“Would you like oysters?” Cornelia decided to ask me first, “Usually they should be freshly teleported alive.”

“Do you want oysters, Scathach?” I tossed the problem to another, “Oh, wait, you were having homesick. Do you want a Scottish dinner?”

“Is there a menu?” Scathach tried to fathom the depth of her wallet.

“Professor, if you want something, anything, it is on Penglai,” Chef laughed, not knowing her meaning since no one on Penglai ever worried about the price, “for you, I’m thinking hand-dived scallops from Oban as a starter, Cullen skink garnished with fresh chives, langoustines served with pan-fried salmon from River Spey, resting on a bed of samphire and finished with a lemon beurre blanc sauce, Herb-Crusted lamp Loin Chops, end with a fresh watercress and rocket salad and Cranachan topped with a dark chocolate thistle?”

“You should eat as she suggested, Chef Helene has a PhD in Nutritional Sciences and a Master of gast—gastro—”

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“Gastronomy,” Souyo gently reminded.

“—Gastronomy, from The Yggdrasil University Glamorgan. She once helped me lose 10 pounds just by cooking me things.” I echoed.

“You went to Yggdrasil?” Scathach looked happy when I mentioned it.

“Yes, ma’am, a graduate of 1982, back then you were still teaching full time.” Chef Helene smiled back, “I even sat in your Introduction to Dynamics classroom when I started my education.”

“So you two know each other?” I asked.

“I definitely know the walking legend of my school, but I can’t guarantee the vice versa since there are usually so many people in her classrooms,” Chef Helene was enchanted by her memories, “do you still bring mattresses to the classroom, professor?”

“Why do you need mattresses in a classroom?” I asked. Sleeping and studying shouldn’t be so overlapping.

“Because there are more students than a place to sit, sir. She set mattresses on the floor so those who weren’t there early enough to find themselves a position on the stairs can sit for two hours and leave with a painful head, not a painful butt, but even that wasn’t enough. Students end up standing from the entrance all the way to the end of the hallway.”

“Now you are embarrassing me,” Scathach chuckled.

“We can donate to do an extension of a classroom, right?” I asked Souyo.

“To do an extension project that can fit half of Yggdrasil into a classroom?” Souyo scratched my ribs for fun, “We might as well as donate to another university just for her.”

“Yes, since we are speaking of that,” Chef was busy overturning her void searching for things, “I know I wasn’t your best student, but do you mind signing my textbook?”

“Then will this very sincere blessing get me an overpriced dinner?” Her pen rustled a bit longer with an extraordinarily long name, “Honestly, I think the only thing I can afford here is an egg sandwich.”

“It would be a great honour of mine to serve you, but I wouldn’t want to take the credit for my general.” Chef asked, looking at me when I stared at her book, “so what do you say? Do I get the glory of doing so?”

“Maybe,” I pointed at the book that I was paying attention to, “can I read your textbook when you prepare food?”

Her book looked different, touched different, even smelt different. The hardcover was gilt, pages aged and creased to a perfect yellow but still spread the fragrance of pine oil. I turned the page up and down, had my best strength holding down the thought of tearing the book apart, and only pursed my lips.

“Scathach, the book you gave her is better than mine.”

“Is that so?” she reached a hand to rub my hair, flipped a few pages before taking her hand back, “I think this version is ‘Arcane Dynamics: A Collegiate Primer’—indeed. Much information in it is outdated, why would you think a newer version of the textbook is worse than this?”

“This book has a hardcover, and these golden ropes to tie the hinge, and the book name contains more fancy words like Arcane,” I punched the book to vent my anger, since it wasn’t realistic to punch my chef or Scathach, and ignored Souyo when he tipped me a wink to something behind, “you don’t love me.”

She had a face of just realising a teenager’s mindset is different from academia. “Aye, I’m sorry, I wasn’t noticing that,” She was flustered to pat my head, pinch my cheeks and wipe my tears, “look—I’ll get you something better tomorrow, aye?”

“Not tomorrow!” I cried, almost starting to roll on the ground, “Now!”

“It is hard to force a gift out of her at this moment,” A familiar voice passed from the booth behind, “what about I give you something on behalf of her instead?”

I turned my head around, crashing onto my mom using her fingers to hold open her eyelids and smiling, and my dad winked at Souyo and me. He raised the two plastic bags in his hands, setting them on the top of our heads before putting them on the table.

“Egg Tarts, everyone?” He asked.

Egg Tarts are Cantonese— when my dad brought that, it meant every one of the Haos was here. Souyo tried so hard to suppress the bursting smile, standing up, but only got pushed back to the chair by my dad. “Sit,” he said, “Kelvin is coming.”

“Basically all eggs in one basket,” Souyo replied, “don’t you guys remember your father’s advice now?”

“Ah, how can we gangbang the homunculus if we don’t gather up?” my dad took a seat next to Souyo, resting his arm on Souyo’s shoulders, “we ain’t trapped on an island with a homunculus, the homunculus is trapped on an island with three Demi-immortals and six Haos. Isn’t that right, professor?”

Scathach gently nodded but kept silent—not what people would usually react to my dad. “Do you know what the word ‘Gangbang’ means?” Souyo asked, trying to pick the topic back up.

“Not really, I just saw the word on the internet and used it.”

“It is not a good idea to use a random word you find on the internet, then,” Souyo spared a hand to pat my dad’s hair with a smile, “did you grow more white hair?”

It was a common family-loving scene in House of Haos since Souyo single-handedly babysat three Haos including my dad, but that almost scared the soul out of Cornelia. The Europeans’ view of Haos was a bunch of lunatics that rape, kill and eat white people for fun, not necessarily in that order. But they weren’t wrong, too. She stared at Souyo patting the three Hao brothers’ heads with ease and a bright smile, and I stared at her worrying that my other white friends would faint, judging by their look.

“Would you mind taking me to go get some fresh air, dear?” Scathach grabbed my hand and stood up moments before her dinner could start. I looked at my mom and silently asked for her opinion, and she just grinned.

“Go, we have Souyo here,” she said, “have fun with your new nanny.”

Scathach picked up some apples from a pillar, juggling them with her void to serve me pleasure. “Can you teach me how to do that?” I clapped after she peacefully caught all the apples and bowed with a smile, “Why does a professor have the need to learn that?”

“Well, before phones, game machines and even books, people just looked for their own fun like this,” she randomly picked a lucky one of the nine apples and took a bite, “I lived on a small island, so it was even harder to find fun.”

“I know that, you lived in a castle on the Isle of Skye, and you taught Ferdiad and Cu Chulainn,” I sat next to her on the marble, “is there anything you can train me to make me a Druid?”

She held an apple above my head, “Using magic is very much like driving a car,” she explained patiently, “for example, many people enjoy the feeling of the inertia pushing drivers back when the speed of the engine comes from 0 to 1000 revolutions per minute, but it is bad for the engine and will cause wear and tear.”

Shouldn’t all cars go from 0 to at least 1000 when starting? And how is 1000 rpm capable of making a car move? I wondered, but decided not to judge since I thought she probably just didn’t know the car.

“So, endurance becomes a very important part of practice,” she continued, “Would you have this idea for me? Think deeply that you don’t want anything to fall on your head.”

“Don’t I need to chant something to make magic work?” I stared at the bottom of the apple, and her slim wrist reflected the apple’s colour with pink.

“Many art creations believe doing so would be the right way, but the Void honestly is more like an extension of magicians’ bodies, like another arm or leg. And when you feel like moving a body part, there is no need to use your hands to pick it up or use your mouth to convince it to move,” her fingers slid through the skin and pinched on the stem, “and, remember to deep breath.”

She let go of the apple and it only got the freedom to fall for one inch, before a small piece of transparent void spread where I stared at and caught the apple again. “Marvellous, darling,” I heard her whispering her compliment, even when she knew this was only a child’s play for magicians not starting so late like me, “now remember, your Ling-Chi transfers within your veins, through red blood cells’ movement, so always adjust your breathing and make your blood flow constantly to maintain magical precision.”

“So I should aim for the heart of my enemy magicians?” I asked, concentrating on regulating my breath when the apple shook a bit once I started speaking.

“I’d prefer you not to hurt anyone, but yes, if you need self-defence like last time—”

Her words were abruptly cut there, and also brought half a beat of my heart. She punched the now-falling apple, looking at it rolling down the stairs and disappearing in our sight.

“I’m sorry,” I heard her soft voice.

“It’s just an apple.”

“No. Can I—I owe you a confession.”

She knelt before me and looked me in my eyes.

“Do you have any memories of me before the entire colony incident?” She asked.

“This is about that memory thing, isn’t it?” I stared at her knee, which was pale like a mirror.

“We met each other a few times before all of these,” she said, “I—won’t remind you too much, that may hurt you again. I don’t—respect your father’s decision to remove your memory. The technique of wiping memory is the result of a collaboration of me and Hao. This is not the purpose we invented the technology for, taking away a person’s memory is equivalent to murdering part of him.”

“I heard that a professor in Yggdrasil has finished 200 PhDs, is that you?” I asked.

“186, actually,” she was a bit surprised by the speed of switching topics.

“Do you remember everything you ever learnt?”

“I remember the majority of what I learnt, and try my best to build cross-overs that would refresh my knowledge,” she held her chin with her hands and looked like she was in low spirits, “but I see where this is going.”

“People really forget a lot of things, Scathach. People probably forget a thousand things every day, mostly small details, like the faces of random strangers you see on the street,” I stroked her hanging hair for fun when I said and looked into her eyes, “Of course, you are family, I just fell in love with you since we first met. But I learnt from Souyo’s case, that sometimes people do things for a reason.”

“So I suppose I should forgive your father for abusing our invention?” She gave me an anguished smile.

“I wouldn’t call it abusing— just trying to tell you that he did it for a reason, and this reason definitely is not harmful to me,” I hugged her shoulders and smelt the aroma of her hair, “Haos never hurt other Haos, that is just true fact.”

She stayed still, silently allowing me to seek comfort from holding her, until my stomach finished digesting these few strawberries, a few bites of Rocky Road ice cream and one egg tart, and started making noises.

“Mom,” I said, “I want to go back and eat Scottish food.”

“Boop,” she said gently, pinched the tip of my nose and didn’t seem to mind me crossing the line a bit.