"Hey"

"You just couldn't help yourself could you?"

"What?" I sat up from the bed.

"You had to go and sacrifice yourself. Wow. So original, so heroic. Did you want to get here this much? See what's behind that ugly gate?" Nataniel angrily pointed a finger at me.

"It was not my intention to die."

"Oh not your intention?" she came closer and stabbed her finger to my shoulder. "One doesn't just perform a heroic sacrifice on accident! Now I have to be here you know? Why do you think I left? Just so you can drag me back here?" She was really angry. Stomping about the room as if to emphasize her points.

"I am sorry, if all this is inconvenient, but I really did not do any of this on purpose."

She stood still, holding her gaze at me. Deciding something.

"Do you know what will come now?" she asked, a little calmer now, but still with a degree of hostility.

"No idea."

"That makes this even harder then. You managed to get here, but you don’t even know of anything. You are one annoying….man." She looked at me, for the first time since she left, I thought I saw compassion on her face, empathy. "This is going to be hard for you, far more than for the others."

"Why is that?"

"I don’t know if you've noticed, but you've got a lousy guide."

"Really? I can tell you honestly, I almost didn’t notice that I've had a guide at all."

I wanted to take the joke back instantly, she looked more hurt then anything.

"I am sorry." she said, sadness filling her voice. A lonely tear ran through her face, she quickly wiped it away, thinking I didn’t notice. "I promised that I wouldn’t help you."

"Why?"

"That’s part of the thing I cannot tell you. I am not playing any games mind you. We guides, we are incapable of a true lie. We cannot lie."

"Really? You told me you were going to guide me before? Wasn’t that a lie?"

"I never specifically said that I will. I told you its tradition, that guides do that. Not that I will. Not a lie. I couldn’t tell you that your hair is any other color then brown for example, that would be a true lie."

"I see and that helps me how?"

"I don’t know, I am only telling you now, so you can understand that once I promise something I have to abide by it. I can't and won't help you. I am not happy about that…anymore at least. I wish that you will come out of this whole thing in one piece. You don’t need to be a superare to have what you want, nor will becoming one fix what is broken." She stood up.

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"What made you change the stance on this all of a sudden?" I asked. It was hard not to notice her passive hostility before, but now she seemed saddened more then angry. It made me nervous.

"I really am sorry Thren, I didn’t expect it to be you." She said. Before I could ask her what she meant, she disappeared on me again.

Now I was left alone in my room, only with the knowledge that the one person I am supposed to entrust with everything is not an option for me. Way to help my spirits.

It did seem awfully weird. I do not mean just my guide, but the whole...scheme. As if this whole thing was somehow preordained. I could understand the gate and the trials, that might even make some amount of sense, but what I struggled with, was me still being let in. I basically killed myself. Yes an arrow was stuck in my chest, but who knows, I could have survived, but I jumped into the ravine. From all the holy scriptures I have read, suicide was not a good thing. Not even taking into account that I killed myself over a ghost of my mother. That was a completely different and frankly overflowing can of worms.

There were trials yet to come and I knew that I will be at a disadvantage. Others had their guides, they would probably know something. I had a guide too, but one that can't help me at all. One that was now not so happy about the fact. And what could she mean by superare not fixing what is broken? Does she know of my...condition?

The questions kept coming and answers didn't reveal themselves. For the time being, I'd pry as much information as I can from Urg. He didn't seem to mind me not having a guide before. I had to hope that that won't change. I would go to the next trials. I didn't know about the whole superare business, as I had no idea what it actually means. I'd have to look into that, but for now, I let sleep overtake me.

I don't dream often and when I do, it is random. Not the nightly prophet kind of guy me. That is why the vivid land I walked through felt incredible. The trees and grass and lands, they were all wrong, when compared to normal life, but here, it made sense that they melted seamlessly into each other. The trees held the grass roof along with the stone high up in the air. I think I could have walked there had I wanted to.

I reveled in this fantastic world, so far from what I was used to, until something much too familiar made its presence known.

"Hello." I said to my mother's ghost.

It did not answer, though it did nod to me. It tried to brush my face with it's hand and it gone as well as you might expect. A chill ran through my cheek .It surprised me slightly. Made me realize that I was not dead, at least not in the literal sense. Meaning the space between us still remained.

"Nice to see you again." it really was. I liked this part of the maddening.

The ghost smiled slightly, its eyes sad and struck with grief.

"How are you?" I asked.

It only shrugged its head. Then it pointed at something in the distance and nudged me to follow.

As I walked and it hovered I didn't speak. Not that I didn't want to, but I thought it felt more and more grief, the more I've said. Especially when I talked about me living with Mei and Mia for the two and some months.

We arrived at what seemed to be a giant creek. Flowing river flew through the landscape, not bound by the usual gravity.

But something even more surprising showed itself. A giant black tower, clad in gold, sculpted with multiple reliefs, mostly god and saint themed.

The ghost stopped and looked at me, worry on its face. It kept pointing to the tower over and over. It opened its mouth, but not a word came out. In clear frustration it balled its other hand into a fist.

"I should go there?"

The ghost stopped its frantic signing and nodded.

I looked at the tower. There was something about it, something hidden. It pulled me in, held my gaze. As I stared at it, it stared back at me. There was something about it, that didn't want me to look away.

But I broke that gaze and looked at my mothers ghost.

It smiled as it always did, but it did look...less worried. I didn't understand why, but I didn't have the time to ask. I felt something shaking my shoulders, I felt my consciousness slip back.

It continued to looked at me as I left the dream.