The cold hand of fright wrapped tightly around Jiayi's neck, making spots dance in the corner of her eyes. His woman? The Emperor was going to make Jiayi his woman? The thought of it stole the air from her lungs. The acrid taste of bile lingered in the back of her throat.
"A servant like–" Jiayi's tongue was limp and heavy, "A servant like me could never be worthy,"
"So modest," said De gui fei, "I suppose that's why The Empress Dowager is so eager to have you be by His Majesty's side,"
Jiayi's chest tightened as the pieces fell into place. The fawning, the gifts, all the mentions of Wei Jiayi's family.
It was so clear.
"This servant is not worthy,"
The ferocious bubbling in her stomach reached a fever pitch. Jiayi felt the world tilt before she retched on the floor. Jiayi stumbled away from the puddle of sick onto her knees. She couldn't pinpoint when she'd started crying, but her face was slick with tears.
"Mistress, I know I don't have the right to ask you for anything more than I already have, but if–if you can do this one thing for me, I'll do whatever you ask for the rest of my life. Please, please don't do this to me. I don't want to be his, I don't,"
Through the haze of her tears, Jiayi waited for Xiang gui ren to say anything. As the moment stretched on, Jiayi remembered an important fact.
She was just a maid.
Who cared what she wanted? Who cared how she felt? Xiang gui ren treated her well because an abused servant was easily stolen away. Xiang gui ren wasn't her friend. She was Jiayi's master. How could she be so tactless and make such an awkward scene for her mistress in front of De gui fei?
Jiayi wiped her face and took a deep breath, "This servant is too wordy. Please forgive me for the mess. I'll clean it up at once,"
Xiang gui ren didn't stop her. The room is empty when she returns with a pail of warm water to clean up the mess.
A quick splash of water and a few deep breaths was all it took to convince Molan that nothing was amiss. They waited on Xiang gui ren during dinner and then dressed her for bed. The reality of it all settled on Jiayi's shoulders like a lead cape. If The Emperor decided to make her a concubine, she could do nothing. If The Emperor wanted to shackle her to these walls, she could do nothing. Jiayi would be married to the man who killed her entire family, and she could do nothing.
Maybe a better person would take this opportunity and run with it. Slither into The Emperor's bed and spend what was left of her life poisoning the world around her and using misery and chaos to avenge the anger that had sunk into the marrow of her bones. But Jiayi didn't want that. She just wanted to be happy.
Was even something like that set aside for heaven's favorites? If that was the truth, why did the Gods continue to taunt her? She was happy enough with her family, and that was snatched away. She was happy enough in the Hard Labor camp, ignored and alone until Su gonggong noticed her. And now, when she was the happiest she'd been in years, it was going up in flames.
That night, Jiayi slipped away from her place at Xiang gui ren's side. Through the darkness, she walked to the empty western courtyard. There was a pond there that Sixth Prince had almost fallen into. De gui fei warned him that the pond was deeper than it looked and not very well looked after. If he fell in, it would take some time to find him.
With the new year coming soon, the odds of someone finding her in the pond were low. By the time any of her bits rose to the surface, Xiang gui ren would've moved on, maybe would've already been promoted to an Imperial Concubine. She, Molan, and everyone else would be gone, and Jiayi would become one of the many bodies that The Forbidden City had eaten alive. It felt both like an eternity and not when her foot finally hit the rocks edging the pond. There was no babbling water or croaking frogs or tittering dragonflies. Only nothingness. She crouched down and stuck her hand in the water. It wouldn't hurt. It would be like a deep sleep.
"Jiayi!"
Jaiyi twisted around at the sound of her name. The slick rocks gave way under her feet, and she tumbled into the pond. The frigid water wrenched her mouth open, and the mucky waters gushed in. Her chest tightened as hell's jaws pulled her deeper into the abyss. Panic lanced through her. How long was this going to take? Would she be awake the entire time? Would her last thoughts be about how bad it hurt?
As the thoughts in her head quieted to a murmur, Jiayi saw a warm light glowing in the black water above her before Xiang gui ren's face appeared. Once again, Jiayi felt lucky to have met Xiang gui ren. Now, the dark wasn't so scary. Xiang gui ren's visage drifted closer and closer until her face was only a breath apart. Xiang gui ren's face was swallowed up by the water, and suddenly Jiayi felt herself floating up rather than down, the light becoming brighter and brighter. Was this it? Was she dead?
The white-hot burn of vomiting pond water told her that, no, she wasn't dead. Jiayi gulped the winter air and lifted her head. It hadn't been her imagination at all. It was really Xiang gui ren!
"Mistress?"
Xiang gui ren turned to her, face illuminated by the light of a paper lantern. Water-logged as she was, she was still beautiful.
"You're okay then?" She spat, "Then find some sense and pick up the pace!"
As her head became less fuzzy, Jiayi realized what was happening. Xiang gui ren had dove in after her and pulled her out of the water, and now she was dragging them back to dry land. Jiayi did her best to cosplay with Xiang gui ren's orders, but her limbs were heavy. Fortunately, it only took a few more strokes through the water until Xiang gui ren threw her on the bank.
Xiang gui ren crawled out after her, chest heaving. Jiayi struggled to get a hold of herself.
"Mistress, are you alright?" She gasped.
"How could I be alright?" Xiang gui ren replied, crawling to her knees, "Jiejie ended up being right after all,"
"What?"
"I told her that it wouldn't be so bad. That you weren't like these other maids, dying to climb to heaven in a single step. But I was wrong. You're just like everyone else,"
Jiayi's throat closed. Xiang gui ren had never used that tone of voice with her. It was as if speaking to Jiayi turned her stomach. It chilled Jiayi far more than her soaked clothes ever could. Jiayi wanted to defend herself and say it wasn't true, but the fire in Xiang gui ren's eyes sealed her mouth shut. Xiang gui ren's words chilled her far worse than the water soaking her.
"It's not a bad plan. I'd believe that a former whore would get jealous enough of her maid to drown her. What did she promise you, huh? Money? A promotion for your father? Ah, I know! She just promised to get rid of me?" She said, rising to her feet, "Maybe you couldn't stand the shame of kneeling before a whore?
"That's not true! I did it for you!" Jiayi sobbed, "I did it because if she found out the truth, there was I could do to stop her,"
Xiang gui ren barked out a laugh, "Are you hiding some big secret then?"
After all these months of running, Jiayi finally hit a dead end. She told Xiang gui ren everything. When all was said and done, Jiayi closed her eyes. She didn't want Xiang gui ren to become even more disgusted with her.
Jiayi flinched when a frozen knuckle rapped her forehead.
"Stupid,"
Xiang gui ren braced herself on Jiayi's shoulder and dropped to the ground next to her, "I thought it was something serious,"
"Whuh?" Was there water frozen in Jiayi's ears? Was Xiang gui ren not fazed at all?
"Bring the lantern,"
Jiayi did as she was told. Xiang gui ren held the lantern to her face. She stroked the faint scar on her cheek.
"Remember this?" She asked.
How could Jiayi forget? The sight of Jiang pin's bloody fingers was seared into her brain.
Xiang gui ren smiled, "I did it to myself,"
"What?"
"Do you need me to knock you in the head again? I did it to myself,"
"Why would you do that?"
"Why would you do such a thing to First Princess?" Replied Xiang gui ren.
"Because..."
Because Jiayi had been boxed in.
Because she needed something Su gonggong couldn't talk his way out of.
Because she thought it wouldn't go so far.
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Because no matter how sick it made her, the end justified the means.
Xiang gui ren grabbed her hand, "Because you needed to survive, right?"
"It was evil," Jiayi whispered, "It ruined her life,"
"Rather be evil and survive than in a coffin with a good conscience," said Xiang gui ren, "There is no good and evil here, Jiayi. You must take what little opportunity you have to keep yourself alive, or it will be taken from you,"
It was the painful, bitter truth, but it was tiring.
"What if I don't want to keep doing that? What if I just want to be?" Asked Jiayi.
"Then you have to let me help you," said Xiang gui ren, squeezing Jiayi's fingers, "No more secrets between us, okay?"
Jiayi nodded, a warmth spreading through her chest. She then shivered, her wet clothes growing even icier.
"Mistress, how are we going to explain ourselves?"
"Just follow my lead,"
✺
Prince Han sighed as the ministers filed out of Yanxindian. The Emperor stood without a word and stalked away to change his court attire, Zhang Wei following him. Alone, he turned to Sang'er.
"How is she?" He asked.
"Fine. The eunuchs at the Imperial Hospital say Wei guniang is recovering in bed,"
Prince Han nodded. Just last night, Xiang gui ren's dog ran off into the night and fell into a nearby pond. Xiang gui ren dived in after, and Jiayi jumped in to rescue her mistress. Prince Han heard that The Emperor had rushed to Chengqiangong in only his sleeping clothes. Prince Han was eager to visit Jiayi and confirm her health in person.
"Zhishi!" The Emperor's voice echoed out into the hall.
"His Majesty seems angry today, my lord," said Sang'er.
"Hwang taiyi said Xiang gui ren could pass along her sickness to His Majesty so he can't visit her as often as he likes,"
"Zhishi!"
Prince Han followed The Emperor's voice. Zhang Wei was kneeling in the warming room, massaging The Emperor's legs.
"What did you think of court today?" He asked when Prince Han sat.
"Marquis Fu's report was alarming. To be funding so many rebels so secretly would take more money than the average nobleman has on hand,"
"Do you agree with Minister Tsun's investigation?"
Prince Han shook his head, "If the rebels are as well connected as we think, the ringleader would have no trouble going into hiding if we investigate aggressively,"
The Emperor nodded, "Perhaps if we–"
"Your Majesty," a servant announced, "Huang gui fei is here,"
"Send her in," said The Emperor. He turned to Prince Han, "We'll continue later,"
Many years ago, Prince Han conspired to kill Shen huang gui fei. He wasn't stupid. He saw the way her eyes glinted meanly when she saw The Empress, no matter how soft the smile on her face was. After Mu pin had been buried, the tension between The Empress and The Emperor was more than apparent. He couldn't stand to be in the same room as them and took long walks across The Forbidden City to get away.
"My lord, let's go back. Her Highness will worry for you," pleaded Sang'er, holding a small lantern.
Prince Han shook his head. He couldn't go back there. Seeing how His Majesty spoke to The Empress made him think unfilial thoughts.
Prince Han paused at the sounds of whispers.
"Wha–"
Covering Sang'er's mouth, Prince Han crept closer. It was too dark to see, but he could hear well enough.
"You haven't done it yet?" A woman hissed.
"I'm sorry," said a man, "The imperial hospital's been locked down since Mu pin's death. I can't get in there to top off the herbs. Listen, jiejie, can't we go without? His Majesty already blames Her Highness,"
There was a slap and a hoarse cry.
"Idiot! The only reason Mu pin is dead is because you tripled her medications for the last three months. It won't just be your head if they check and notice how much is missing. Get it done quickly for the sake of your family,"
Prince Han spent an entire night tossing and turning, desperate to find the couple's identities. The next evening, he, The Emperor, and The Empress were having a stilted dinner. His Majesty invited Shen huang gui fei, only for her dowry maid, Jingse, to announce in a very familiar voice that her mistress was too exhausted from grieving to leave her bed. What little planning he did was foiled by The Empress, who made Prince Han swear to abandon the idea, claiming The Emperor would never forgive him if things went too far. It was the first and last time The Empress had slapped him.
Prince Han was so deep in thought that by the time he snapped out of it, Shen huang gui fei had already settled herself next to The Emperor.
"...You delivered the ginseng to Huifen?" The Emperor finished asking.
"Yes, Your Majesty, poor Yiqiang looks so worried for Xiang meimei," replied Shen huang gui fei.
The Emperor nodded, "De gui fei will look after him well in Huifen's stead,"
"Speaking of that, Your Majesty, I have something to report, but I worry it'll upset you,"
"Speak," said The Emperor.
"Recently, I've had to punish some servants for gossiping about Xiang meimei raising Yiqiang,"
Prince Han didn't like what Shen huang gui fei implied, "Did you inform The Empress?"
"The Empress is so busy preparing the palace for The New Year, so I didn't wish to burden her with something I could help her with. But unfortunately, rumors have left the city,"
"What rumors?" Asked The Emperor.
Shen huang gui fei sighed, "It's about Xiang meimei raising Yiqiang. People are starting to say that she'll teach him immoral things and that the only reason she was allowed to take care of him is because she bewitched His Majesty,"
"They dare...!" The Emperor hissed.
"I punished as many of the servants as possible and told them there would be dire consequences for spreading such rumors, but the damage is done. If only meimei came from a more noble background or was a higher rank. Then things would be different,"
Shen huang gui fei put on a good face. But Prince Han could tell from the curl of her lip and the flare of her nose that she was enjoying this.
"Maybe," she said, putting a hand on The Emperor's arm, "It would be best if Yiqiang returned to the A Ge Sou. Just until the rumors were put to rest,"
"Your Majesty, wouldn't promoting Xiang gui ren solve this problem?" said Prince Han.
Shen huang gui fei's gentle and warm facade cracked at the suggestion, her eyes narrowing in rage before her mask returned.
She smiled, "Little brother-in-law Xiang meimei has only been a Noble Lady for seven months. She hasn't given birth, and her family won't be able to make any great merits for His Majesty. A promotion like that would be very unorthodox,"
"Xiang gui ren sacrificed her health to nurse Yiqiang back to full form when His Majesty and Her Highness were in Mulan. Is saving the life of an imperial heir not merit enough?" Replied Prince Han.
Shen huang gui fei clenched her fists, "You–"
Wang gugu stepped inside the room, sweat beading her brow, "Your Majesty, a report. Chengqiangong's medication was poisoned,"
"What?!" The Emperor exploded to his feet, "Why are you standing here then?"
Prince Han's heart skipped a beat. What did Wang gugu mean by that? Surely Xiang gui ren and Jiayi weren't given the same brew? But Xiang gui ren was kind. Jiayi mentioned that her mistress liberally shared food and treats with her. Why wouldn't she share such good medicine?
Wang gugu bowed her head, "Hwang taiyi was informed at once, Your Majesty's seated chair is ready to leave at any moment,"
Shen huang gui fei tied The Emperor's furred cape around his shoulders, "Don't rush, Your Majesty. The roads are slick from this morning's snow,"
Prince Han followed The Emperor and waited for his eunuchs to lift him away.
"C'mon," he said, tugging at Sang'er's arm, "We can run there faster,"
"My lord, you–"
"Hurry up!"
Prince Han ran through the streets, dodging and pushing through the servants in his way, his mind racing as fast as his legs. Perhaps the medication hadn't been brewed yet? Maybe the maids were clumsy and brewed it wrong. Maybe Hwang taiyi already arrived, and everything was fine.
The servants bowed to him, but he paid them no mind and burst into Xiang gui ren's side of the palace. Molan startled at the sight of him.
"Did the Imperial Hospital deliver Xiang gui ren's medication yet?" He asked.
"Ye-yes. It was delivered after breakfast,"
"Has she drank any?"
"Um-I–" she stuttered, her eyes wide.
"Answer me!" He barked.
"Zhishi," De gui fei said, emerging from Xiang gui ren's bedroom, "What is the meaning of this?"
"De niangniang," Prince Han said, "Did Xiang gui ren take any medicine today?"
De gui fei cradled his sweaty face, "What? No. Hwang taiyi said she should only drink on a full stomach and hasn't eaten. We gave her breakfast and the medicine to her maid,"
"When?" Prince Han asked, heart stuttering.
"Only a moment ago,"
Prince Han tore away and rushed to the maids' room. He ran through the doors in enough time to snatch the still-steaming bowl out of Jiayi's hands.
"My lord," Jiayi said, "What are you doing here?"
Prince Han grasped her shoulders, "How much did you drink?"
"I didn't drink any of it," she replied, "Prince Han, what's wrong?"
Before he could explain, Sang'er pulled him away just in time for De gui fei and the servants to rush in.
"Prince Han," said De gui fei, her voice stern, "What is the meaning of this?"
Sang'er bowed his head, "Replying to Your Highness, Wang gugu informed His Majesty that the medicine sent over by the Imperial Hospital was poisoned, so my lord rushed here to make sure no one was hurt,"
The Emperor's arrival drowned out whatever De gui fei wanted to say. Prince Han and Jiayi locked eyes again before Sang'er led him back to the warming room.
✺
"A maid?" Xiang gui ren said, lying in The Emperor's arms, "A maid tried to poison me?"
The Emperor nodded, "Wang gugu caught her stealing and sent her to the Hard Labor camp before you arrived. She seduced a junior eunuch to slip something into your prescription. You were blessed not to have drunk it,"
"What do you mean?"
"Wang gugu sent Hwang taiyi to you, but Fan gui ren complained of stomach pain and bleeding. He attended to her first. By the time he finished, it would've been too late,"
Xiang gui ren flinched, "Was she alright?"
"The child is safe for now. She'll be confined to her rooms until the birth,"
"Where's that maid now?" She asked.
"Dead," replied The Emperor, "Yiqiang was clear that she couldn't live another day with how close she came to killing you. The Empress Dowager agreed wholeheartedly,"
The Empress Dowager? This had her written all over it. Had Yiqiang not ordered the maids' execution, the girl would probably still be dead but under more mysterious circumstances. If anyone thought too hard, they'd question how a maid from the Hard Labor could even come close to having something lethal enough to poison with.
The Emperor stroked her cheek, "You're disappointed,"
She covered his hand with her own, "I'm grateful for Yiqiang, but for him to order an execution at such a young age on my behalf is troubling,"
"When it comes to mother and son, his flesh and your flesh are one and the same. A slight against you is a slight against him. It's only right,"
"Mother?" Said Xiang gui ren, ignoring how her heart fluttered at the word, "I'm his nanny at best. How could a Noble Lady raise the son of an Imperial Concubine? I've been waiting for Her Highness to tell me to return Yiqiang since she returned from Mulan,"
The Emperor gathered her close so he could whisper in her ear, "You won't be a Noble Lady for much longer,"
Xiang gui ren's mouth parted in surprise, "You're crazy," she whispered back, "That's against the rules,"
"I'm the Son of God," he replied, "I make the rules,"
Xiang gui ren drew her sheet between them and kissed him, mindful of her cold. The Emperor tugged the sheet down and tried to kiss her, but she wiggled away. They wrestled playfully for a few moments before Xiang gui ren was the victor, sitting happily in his lap.
"Jiejie will be so excited!" She said. Just then, an idea formed in her head. She frowned, making sure The Emperor couldn't miss it.
"What?" Said The Emperor, thumbing her jutting lower lip, "You can stay in Chengqiangong as long as you like, even as an Imperial Concubine,"
"The Empress Dowager has been so kind to my maid, so I've been thinking of her lately. Don't you think she's lonely? There aren't any other dowagers here,"
"Royal Mother said she was too busy serving the Late Emperor and raising children to make close friends,"
Xiang gui ren feigned that she was deep in thought, "The Empress mentioned someone named Dowager Noble Consort Ling?"
The Emperor nodded, "Dowager Noble Consort Ling was well favored by The Late Emperor and treated me well all those years ago. She lives in the Summer Palace,"
"Can I meet her?"
"Court is more time-consuming than usual, and the roads are treacherous during the winter," said The Emperor.
"Well, couldn't she come here? I'm sure she would love to spend the New Year with you. The more the merrier, right?"