“Thank you for your patronage…Uhm, will you be alright with all those potions, Miss?”
“Yes, there will be no problem,” I answered the vendor while putting potion vials into a leather bag. “The bottles should be sturdy, right? They should not break if I put them into the bag.”
“Uhm, yes, they shouldn’t break even with some rattling, but…I mean, will you be able to carry them all?” the potion vendor asked me with a worried face, believing I wouldn’t be able to carry all of them.
After picking the stuffed bag up without any problems, the vendor threw his worries away and wished me farewell. As I left the potion shop with 43 minor health potions and 40 minor abnormal status curatives of various types, I couldn’t help but sigh. Not due to the weight of the bag full of potions, oh no, it’s not even a hassle for me. I was more concerned with spending more than 20k Davi.
It’s all an investment, Saori. It’s like buying preparation materials for your lessons, or research books for your paper. This is for us to make money with Tasianna’s alchemy skills, so don’t worry.
After leaving the Helvas mansion, I first went to a potion shop in the upper district of the commoner side of Firwood, also simply known as the merchant district by the people in the middle district. Since we only had a few of the empty potion vials and bottles that we needed for Tasianna’s concoctions, I needed to buy more.
According to Cernust when he taught Tasianna, potions needed to be stored in these special vials. Due to the materials added to its production, like fairnite dust, a potion bottle prevented mana from leaking from any liquid stored inside. If we were to store the potion in any other manner, the quality of the potion would degrade over time, eventually turning the liquid into, well, colored water with barely noticeable effects.
Storing the liquid inside Hestia’s and my [Storage Magic] was out of the question. We were trying to sell them to patrons, and no one would buy potions from a wooden container. They wouldn’t use them immediately so it will be a waste after some time.
Minor health potions cost 100 Davi and I bought 43. 16 minor anti-toxins for 5600 Davi. 12 minor anti-paralyzation for 5400 Davi. 10 minor blood clotting increasing potions for 3500 Davi. In total, that cost me 18800 Davi, I recalled the amount I spent, putting the bag into my storage after I made sure nobody was looking.
The potion shop I just visited was well decorated, unlike the one I visited in the middle district, which fit the location where they are doing business. It appealed to the rich merchants and patrons of the merchant district.
My goal was to buy as many cheap vials and bottles as possible, which proved easy as they had a wide range of catalogues. There was even an anti-hangover potion available, which I bought two of for 1000 Davi. I mean, that did mean I spent 19800 Davi in total, but we had some spending money now after the last Quest. Our party funds still have 24,767 Davi left, so it wasn’t a problem.
Now, buying finished potions was more expensive than empty vials, but just buying empty bottles was impossible without being a member of the alchemy guild. Cernust warned me I would attract attention if I were to ask a potion seller or the guild to sell me the empty vials, so buying potions was my only option. I mean, the vendor just now was suspicious of why I needed 83 potions, so, yeah.
Hmm, this coincides with the potion prices in the middle district. If I remember correctly, guilds are responsible for regulating market prices within their operating town or city. However, usually, prices would vary depending on the shop regardless if both shop owners were members of the same guild. Production and location differences can affect prices. How regulated are the different potion shops?
Shrugging off this thought, as it didn’t matter, I entered the middle district. It was currently around noon, and a couple of workers had begun taking their lunch breaks, either eating their own pre-prepared food or buying from the numerous street vendors or eateries. With the snow almost gone, the amount of people selling goods and food has increased since I came here a week ago, especially in the marketplace.
“Grilled meat! Grilled meat! Come get your grilled meat! No goblins or kobolds here! Only rabbit and pork!”
“Cheese on veggies! Cheese on veggies! Cheese from fresh milk and freshly harvested wild veggies! First of the coming spring! You can’t get it fresher!”
“Come on, come on! Winter is still around, so how about some warm, good soup? Meat, mushrooms, vegges! Warm yourself up, just 10 Davi for a whole bowl! Cheap but good!”
Wooden skewers and wooden bowls. They look like Hestia’s earlier works or, in other words, very crude DIY.
Cooking on the streets was done on small portable grills, which looked like metal boxes with an open roof for the grates, where they would place food or pots on. Crackling could be heard inside the grills, where a fire was made using sticks and tree barks, causing smoke to rise. Appearance-wise, the grills were crude, as if an apprentice smith made it using spare ores for practice. Despite the grills having weird indentations from mistakes, they did their jobs well.
As we couldn’t use Hestia as a grill or steam cooker, we asked Zeather to order us a few cooking appliances and restaurant furniture. We knew it would be expensive, so we had planned to trade for the ordered items and ingredients supply with the herbs from the Belzac forest. If it hadn’t worked, well, we would have owed Ellaine another favor.
Hestia’s self-made wooden cutlery looked good. She did a fine job whittling, I thought as I compared the works from professional carpenters to Hestia’s. She couldn’t make furniture correctly yet, but forks and spoons were easy enough for her.
“One of your grilled meat salads, please,” I told a vendor.
“Comin’ right up, Miss! Ya wanna some sauce in it, too? Makes tha meat much better.” I nodded to his offer.
For ten Davi, I was given a bowl of grilled vegetables and meat that looked like stir-fried vegetables with beef. A white sauce was added, seemingly melting with the juices of the meat. There were tables placed in front of the food stall, intended for customers to sit and eat at, but most of them were filled with hungry patrons. Choosing one of the free spots, I sat down, where I was greeted by two men already at the table.
“Wooo, nice to meet you, Miss,” one of them, a human, welcomed me. He smiled, making eye contact before moving them down to ogle my breasts. “Say, I know this nice tavern with some good ale and mead. Wanna come with me after I finish-”
“I apologize, not interested,” I refused immediately. Instead, I pulled out one of Hestia’s forks and began using it to eat.
As the crunchy vegetables and slightly stinky meat, probably goblin meat, entered my mouth, I had to admit it was delicious. The meat was likely from a goblin, but the white condiment, which seems to be a sauce made from milk and vinegar, hid most of the smell. I wouldn’t have noticed the scent if it wasn’t it for my improved senses. Goblin and kobold meat was cheaper and stinkier than other types, so the chef did a wonderful job to make something like that delicious.
As I was immersed in my lunch, the flirter laughed off my refusal as he gave up, while the katzune next to him patted him on his back. The katzune then looked at me and seemed to want to continue socializing, “Sorry, sorry, about my friend. Say, you’re a traveler, right?”
“Yeah, obvious from my clothes, right? You guys are workers from around here, huh?” I said absentmindedly, not taking my eyes away from my meal. “Sir, can I have another-no, please give me three more bowls, please,” I ordered from my seat, having nearly finished my first bowl.
“Got it! Three more for the young Miss!”
Whether it was because I ignored them in favor of the food or because they were stunned by how much I ordered, the two workers stopped speaking with me and moved away once they were down with their food. I too left after paying for my finished meal. However, I wasn’t full yet.
Today was just me experiencing the cuisine of Firwood. Hestia was usually the glutton of our party, but I also had a large appetite. The problem of being a giant wolf.
As I moved through the marketplace, wandering from one food stall to the next, I noticed that most of them only served one or two dishes and that was it, unlike the eateries and inns. It reminded me of how food stalls did the same in Japan. Serving one or two dishes was easier and faster, as you could concentrate on those alone instead of dividing your focus on multiple complicated dishes.
As I would be the sole chef of our party’s restaurant, I had to do the same. I only have two hands, after all.
I think I know what to make now. Something fast and easy to make. Something easy to eat and cheap for the workers and wandering adventurers.
Satisfied, I began moving towards a location in the lower district, the slums. As I did so, I used this time to check out the three garms slumbering inside my shadow.
Darkness Garm: Assimilation progress: 21%
Darkness Garm: Assimilation progress: 24%
Darkness Garm: Assimilation progress: 15%
It has been three days, I believe, since I gained the unique skill [Shadow Pack] and these faefolk as my shadow beasts. They were still assimilating, unable to move or respond. Peering into my shadow, it seemed like a body in the form of a wolf was being made for the three spirits to assume their new identities as garms.
Profile:
Name: *
Level: 0
Race: Darkness Garm
Age: 240 Years Months
Status:
Health: 3000/3000 Mana: 1800/1800 Strength: 1300 Intelligence: 1000 Vitality: 800 Wisdom: 800 Agility: 1200 Stamina: 1500
Looking at their profiles, all three were slightly weaker than C rank monsters, but I can attribute that to their previous failing bodies. If these garms were 100% obedient, they would be a great addition to our party. Having more members would make our job easier.
Still, I wonder how I would fight with them? Were their bodies perishable like a normal garm’s, or were they similar to my shadow clones? If they were the former, then I will need to adjust my use for them. I couldn’t use them as meat walls, now could I?
“Oh, lookie here, the pretty girl is back. Wondered where ya went for the week. Woulda be a shame if it were a gutter.”
Frowning from the sight of the homeless-looking man, I pinched my nose to block the foul stench coming from his body. “Nice to see you again, too…”
“Haha, first thing ya do is close your nose? Rude, as always, to poor ol’ Bo?” With tattered clothes and a haggard face, the man named Bo laughed, displaying his rotting teeth to the world. He didn’t look malnourished, but he was disgusting, to say the least. I couldn’t hold in my disgust for him after learning that the people in the slums clean themselves every day with well water, like any self-respecting person.
Squinting, I spoke to him bluntly, “Is Gael home? Actually, don’t answer. As if he ever goes out during the mornings.”
“Ha, ya know him too well, pretty girl. He shared a drop with ol’ Bo this morning. Should still be drinkin’ by himself until nighttime,” after answering, he grabbed a half-eaten bread and smeared some butter on it with his grimy hands. I got goosebumps just looking at him.
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Walking up the stairs to the last floor of this building, I knocked on the only door there. After not getting a response, I pulled out a wine bottle I received from the castle staff of Castle Teullon and opened it. “Hey, Gael, come out already! It’s me, Saori! I know you’re there! I have a bottle of good wine here!” I shouted, abandoning formal speech, as I couldn’t be bothered to use it here.
Immediately as I said it, a clink could be heard behind the door and it opened, revealing a tall man with dark brown hair. Unlike Bo, who is Gael’s roommate for some unknown reason, Gael kept his appearance rather neat and tidy. He was shaved and had a proper haircut that was slightly messy. The only thing unappealing about him was the strong alcohol smell.
Looking at the ground behind him, I could see a trail made from his shoes. “You ran to the door? Is alcohol the only thing motivating you to do anything in this world?”
He scoffed, “Hey, is that the first thing you say after leaving the town for a week? Heard you came back safely, so I thought your greeting would be warmer. You should smile more, Saori. Women are the prettiest when they smile or laugh; it makes my heart flutter.” Although, annoyingly, he kept up his smile.
“You know well enough why I’m not fond of your behavior. You might name yourself a B rank adventurer, but your lazy attitude makes me not respect you. Even children are more motivated with learning than you are with anything outside of drinking,” I told him flatly to his face. “I can enjoy a drink, trust me, but you take it too far. At this rate, you’ll drink yourself into a coma.”
He shrugged, looking like he didn’t care about my worry. “Whatever. Life is life. You only live it once, and then the Goddess of Death snatches it away mercilessly, disregarding any of your feelings. It could happen in a single peaceful night and boom. Gone. Instead of worrying about everything, a bit of hedonism can really spice up your life. Come on, my offer still stands. Have a drink with me. I saved up some dwarven sake, the authentic one. The type your ‘kind’ would very much enjoy, if you catch my drift.”
From what I gathered, Gael is a spy who was used by Farron to gather information. As a B rank adventurer, I suspected him to be a rather capable fighter, which was why I asked him to train me in the first place. He had some good dagger abilities and was also able to use dark magic like me, making me believe he was more an assassin. I haven’t seen his profile yet, sadly. It would be a great benchmark.
“Like I said last time, no means no,” I rejected his offer. I then dangled the opened wine bottle in front of his face. “Train me.”
Taking a sniff, he nodded with satisfaction. It looked like he was about to agree. “No.”
Tch, as expected. Lazy asshole.
“You know, this is the wine from a seneschal of a noble. I had a taste of one of the bottles and I can attest to its quality. You will like it, or are you only into watered-down ale and mead, just so you can drink more of them?”
“Ha, don’t be like that. I can down the hard stuff and enjoy the finer glasses without any problems. And I agree, this is some fine stuff. The seneschal has some fine taste, although I believe he was a Baron’s seneschal, right? I don’t remember that Barathan fellow would buy wine bottles for personal usage, and the only one you could have gotten this from is your previous Quest,” his answer was as if he could see right through me. “No, I said that cuz it wasn’t part of our deal. I would only continue your training if you brought me some actual authentic stuff. Not the one from the dwarves or anywhere I could go myself. You’re a drinker, too, so I trust your opinion.”
“I’m not an alcoholic,” I declared.
I wasn’t, ok? I enjoy drinking after work hours to destress. I wouldn’t drink them all the time.
“Suit yourself, but the deal still stands. I can buy this bottle myself. What I can’t buy is the stuff in your memories. I want to taste them.”
I guess this was an example of someone only interested in keeping contact with an otherworlder purely for their knowledge. Gael was kind enough to train me at the beginning for a free drink, but now he was just being obnoxious. Just because I enjoy sake doesn’t mean I knew how to make it. I had no idea how to make any of the spirits he wanted.
“You know, this is exactly why I cannot stand you. I told you, I don’t know how to make them. You are being stubborn and unreasonable at this point!” Taking a deep breath to calm myself down before I exploded, I spoke to him in a more controlled fashion. “Please, hear me out. I want to become stronger. I don’t know if this was your intention in the first place or not, but I’ve learned that I cannot become stronger with my usual training sessions.”
While training with Hestia and Tasianna was a good way to practice the basics and innovate with older strategies, it wasn’t a good way to learn new forms of fighting styles. We were only fighting with each other all the time. The benefit might have been great in the beginning, but as time went on without us branching outside our comfort zone, the efficiency would decrease and decrease until it became unproductive. We could only learn so much from repeating the same moves.
Hestia still had room to grow with her different fire types and scale-dust, while Tasianna gained a new ability with her catalyst; however, all I had were my shadows and mana threads. I gained [Shadow Pack], but I couldn’t practice with them until they assimilated into their new bodies, while Hestia’s toxin was technically her ability. I didn’t want this time to go to waste. Learning to use daggers was my way to expand.
But I wanted more.
I continued, “As a B rank adventurer, you should have traveled a lot. At least, you must have done a good amount of Quests. I haven’t mastered using a dagger yet. Plus, I want to learn how to fight in my cadejo form better.”
“Jeez, come on, we might be in my home, but we haven’t even entered my room yet. Information can leak,” he said. “Still, personally saying, you’ve caught the gist of how to use a dagger and your aim is good due to being a wolf. One critical hit is all you need. Even showing my usage with dark magic is tricky. You’re a full-fledged arcane trickster who only lacks experience and stats. That’s all.”
“You’ve barely trained me at all. You told me how to hold a dagger and where to stab it. That is all. Even if it was just ale, out of principle, I don’t think your lessons were worth the price. Even when I practiced by myself, you would just sit in your chair and comment on stuff. That was the extent of your ‘training.’ Of course I would be unsatisfied,” I replied to his excuse. “Whether I showed you my spells or how I combined my skills, you were never surprised at how I did them. Call it a woman’s intuition, or whatever, but I have a feeling you are hiding more than you can show. You simply do not want to show them to me. Instead of telling me bluntly, you’re using this excuse of a deal to shoo me away. Admit it.”
Was I being forceful? Yes. It annoyed me how much he was trying to avoid doing something simply because he was too lazy or scared. He was an adult. He should know better to keep excuses like these to himself, instead of communicating the problem.
If he didn’t want to train me, then fine. I couldn’t force him. However, instead of hiding the truth behind this veil of a “lazy, good-for-nothing alcoholic”, I would prefer him to just tell me his dissatisfaction. Of course, I would like him to continue training me as it would take longer without his help, but...
This attitude irritates me so, so much.
It…reminded me of somebody. Actually, it used to be two people — the first was Hestia before she regained her confidence in her talent and hard-work. She’s doing extremely well nowadays, but back in the forest, it got a bit annoying if I’m to be honest. I’m not too proud of myself for that.
The other person is one of my students. “Hanazawa Asaka” was her name. A self-proclaimed delinquent who always caused trouble by breaking school rules to evade having to take on any responsibilities. How ironic that it only garnered her more attention.
Hanazawa-san always annoyed me…but I felt bad for how strict her parents were.
“…Sorry, I just have nothing to teach you. You’re good enough even without my help. Anything else will cost you a very valuable bottle of otherworld booze since it’s from my special repertoire of skills,” he responded, showing no intentions of saying or doing anything else.
Before he closed the door, I grabbed his arm with my left arm, showing off my new shiny, black claws. “How about this idea? Fight me. If you can take me down or if I give up, you can have this bottle of wine for free. If you’re good enough, then you shouldn’t need to show your special ‘repertoire’ at all. How about it? It should be in your favor…right?”
“…Hmph, you’re trying to egg me on, huh, Saori? Ha, nice try but…you got more?!”
It seemed he couldn’t hide his surprise once I took out a whole crate filled with the seneschal’s wine. It seemed like both the quantity and the quality is what hooked him in. “Every time you beat me, you get a bottle. I will stand up every time. Don’t worry.”
As I heard him gulp, I placed the wine bottle back inside my storage and then… “Deal!” he shouted, before grabbing my left arm, intending to push me to the ground. Unfortunately for him, I came prepared.
Injecting some mana into my black claws, a dark purple liquid suddenly covered their tips, forcing Gael to let go of me. “Tch, that’s a toxin, right? Not one I’m familiar with, though…”
Obsidian Wolfen Claws
A set of claw protectors crafted using dwarven ingenuity using the corrosive obsidian from an [Obsidian Blaze Dragon]. Using eoriant as a foundation for the obsidian to cover, these claw protectors are not only durable but also fortify the attack power of the claws. A small space was added to allow toxins to be stored, which can be opened with the injection of mana.
Skill
[Mana Conductor Lv. 3]
[Unarmed Mastery Lv. 5]
[Durability Loss Reduction Lv. 5]
[Piercing Enhancement Lv. 5]
[Sundering Enhancement Lv. 5]
[Increased Strength Enforcement Lv. 4]
[Increase Agility Enforcement Lv. 4]
[Corrosive Obsidian: Moderate Arcane Corruption Venom]
These were the part of the order I received from Ogni, the dwarven blacksmith. The other was this:
Obsidian Wyvern Tanto
A tanto crafted by a dwarven blacksmith using the corrosive obsidian from an [Obsidian Blade Dragon]. Using eoriant as a foundation for the obsidian to cover, the tanto is sturdier than the mass-produced versions. Wyvern scales and claws were added to the creation of the weapon, further improving its durability and the offensive ability of its sting. A good amount of corrosive obsidian was used in its creation, making it well suited to use in conjunction with liquid corrosive obsidian.
Skill
[Mana Conductor Lv. 5]
[Dagger Mastery Lv. 5]
[Durability Loss Reduction Lv. 7]
[Piercing Enhancement Lv. 6]
[Sundering Enhancement Lv. 3]
[Increased Strength Enforcement Lv. 4]
[Increase Agility Enforcement Lv. 4]
[Corrosive Obsidian: Moderate Arcane Corruption Venom]
[Increase Corrosive Obsidian Effectiveness]
From out of my storage, a black dagger reminiscent of shinobi, or ninja, movies appeared. Its edge gleamed with a deadly purple like a cobra’s fangs ready to snatch its prey. Pointing the blade at Gael, he complained he wanted a “knife” but I didn’t give him a chance to get one.
[Shadow Armament (Full Body)] [Haste] inflicted on [Young Shadowstalker Cadejo, Saori Segawa]
[Dark Tendrils] erupted from Gael’s shadow, ready to capture him, but he stepped backward. “Fuck, I forgot you don’t need to chant your spells!” he exclaimed.
I then threw a couple of [Dark Bolt]s at him for distraction before rushing to his face. I used [Shadow Pierce] with my new dagger, but Gael redirected my arm away with his bare hand. As my body was already turning around, I used this chance to land a roundhouse kick onto his forearm.
“Urgh!” he groaned. “Shit!”
Noticing his predicament, Gael grabbed my leg and pushed me off him into the air. As I was doing a somersault to land on my feet, Gael suddenly grabbed my arm with my dagger and somehow disarmed me effortlessly.
“Shameless Pickpocket…if you wanted to know the name of the ability,” he said with a conflicted expression.
“See, I knew it. You had tricks like these up your sleeve,” I said smugly while taking out the other two daggers I had from my storage.
Without saying another word, a black magic circle appeared on his hand and a black bolt was shot at me, however, with [Foresight] and [Danger Perception] active, it was not hard to dodge. At this point, I confirmed he was a dark mage, but not a very proficient one. Compared to me, I could not only use all my spells without a chant, but also use two spells simultaneously.
“Dark Slash! Claws of Darkness!” were activated back-to-back.
Gael sidestepped the spells, complaining that I was ruining his house. At this time, I attached one of my daggers to the tip of my mana threads and used my claw protectors to maneuver the threads like a whip. It was made with my mana, so it had no special effects, but Gael had difficulties dodging it.
We weren’t fighting in a wide space, like the empty chamber ruins of the onnikai, but inside a small apartment-like room with furniture and other objects. Gael was deft, but even that had its limits if I attacked him aggressively. This allowed me to set a trap with [Dark Tendrils].
Once the tendrils erupted from the ground to grab him, he flinched for a moment. Taking advantage of it, I used [Just Blink], disappearing from his vision and senses for a single second, before reappearing with two daggers aiming at his arms.
Daggers clashed. My dagger that he was using and the one I had right now collided against each other, blocking any attacks, however…
“Fuck!” he shouted, echoing through his room.
My left dagger didn’t hit its mark, his bicep, but he wasn’t able to grab it properly. The dagger dug into his open palm like a bee sting, causing him to bleed. While this amount of pain wouldn’t make him curse this loudly, the fact that I was able to grab his arm with my left hand was a problem. For this hand had my claw protectors, with a venom leaking from them.
“You don’t have a very good poker face, huh? I didn’t know if you were immune to a certain status effect, so I was ready to continue this fight, but…you are afraid of what toxin I am using, right? That bead of cold sweat is enough evidence. I won.” Letting go of his arm, I took my daggers back. “Honestly, I expected more. You accepted my deal and suddenly attacked me. You had the moment of surprise in your favor, but you still messed it up. You’re rusty, Gael. Or maybe you just weren’t worthy of being a B rank adventurer in the first place?”
As if I hit a sweet spot, Gael’s expression distorted. It was a combination of sadness, frustration, and fear. Whatever caused him to end up in this sorry state probably resurfaced. Staying silent, Gael slumped down onto the ground. It looked like he was holding back his tears.
“…I understand a bit about grief. If you need somebody to talk to, tell Farron to contact me. Don’t stalk us, please.” With that said, I left him back in his apartment after saying goodbye. I hope I didn’t just do something terrible.
After that, a week passed. Tasianna and I would train together to test out our new weapons, while also planning for our restaurant. I finalized the menu while Tasianna was able to fill up multiple potion vials with her potions. As to how we got empty potion vials, we traded the filled ones with an adequate amount of empty vials from Barathen and Manuela. The Helvas staff members used up potions to treat injuries or sickness, so they had gathered up some empty vials which they haven’t returned to the alchemy guild yet. It was free potions for them, so they gladly accepted them.
I also managed to gather a good amount of normal clothing threads to create, well, normal clothes. Using my tailor guild membership, I asked a few of my senpais, so older members, for a few contacts who would want mana clothing. There, in exchange for mana dresses worthy of a noble which the merchants planned to gift to their wives, I gained a ton of wool and silk threads. These will be used for normal clothing.
During this week, I also noticed numerous gargoyles appearing in the sky. The nobles of Firwood and the surrounding fiefs were returning from the capital of Artorias, just like the High Bishop and Ellaine said. Once Manuela mentioned members of House Chezaic had returned, she and I mounted her gargoyle and flew to the forest where Hestia and Ellaine were training.
There, we witnessed the two girls in messy outfits dismantling a skorr, while two of Ellaine’s knight retainers were grilling some fish. It was like a scene from a survivor drama show. None of them would look like nobles in their clothes if it weren’t for their otherwise clean appearance. They likely washed in a nearby lake.
From what I heard, Ellaine managed to level up ten times during their stay there, while Hestia, as expected, didn’t even notice her experience gain. She eventually redirected all the experience gained towards Ellaine and the knights with her party bracelet in order to not waste it on herself.
Once we returned the four survivalists to Firwood, we cleaned them up. The invitations for the Chezaic party then arrived for us in two days, informing us that the party would begin in three days. Once that time passed, Ellaine and Hestia boarded a carriage in dresses so beautiful that even I, the tailor, cried tears of joy.
Let me admit something I would never tell Hestia or Tasianna. I personally wanted to wear a dress too, instead of this retainer tuxedo. Hmph!