The first of November, 1984

Corresponding to Thursday

At eleven-thirty PM

In front of the emergency entrance

Cigarette after cigarette, there’s no stopping… one after another, smoke rising, wind colliding, and a gentle breeze hitting my face, and a peaceful state of mind… Is freedom hard to attain for those who desire it? How strange!! Those who seek it lose it, and those who live without it find it. Hmm, who am I among these people? Am I from the first category or the second? I’ve started having these thoughts now and then; I don’t understand who I am, nor do I know who my self is. All I know about myself is that I am a cowardly mute, a puppet of fate, not a master of my own choices. It has always come to me at fatal moments due to my weakness, my lack of sincerity and self-esteem; my string is in danger!!

With wandering thoughts and a multitude of ideas swirling in my head, having a cigarette after cigarette, I realized I am a fool for standing here in front of the emergency entrance, wasting my time in daydreaming and creating things that benefit me not in my imagination or reality. Wait… Have I branded myself a fool or an idiot? Oh God, I must cut off this overthinking, or else my brain will explode from the overload of questions. And time has overwhelmed me; I need to return home immediately. Ha… Will my brain explode or retreat? It seems that cartoons have a strange effect on humans! Oh God, this is terrifying! How old am I? Am I six or seven? What are these nonsensical thoughts? Taking a sip from my cigarette and puffing it out into the air, a smile crept onto my face. What’s wrong with you, Danny? You seem to be suffering, I chuckled strangely. Am I mentally ill or just insane in this miserable life?

Suddenly, a voice pulled me out of my thoughts; a car stopped in front of me. What was its name, I wonder? It's a Dodge Caravan... Yes, it's a black Dodge, heavily tinted; I couldn’t see inside. The car manual came to my mind instantly; it’s scary, why am I recalling the manual now of all times? I’m bewildered, what’s happening here!!

The middle door of the car opened, and out stepped a young man, seemingly in his early twenties. His eyes were lifeless, devoid of any vitality or help. He stepped out of the car slightly, casting a strange gaze at me… I couldn’t discern what that gaze meant or what was behind it, but it felt ominous, sending shivers down my spine until I felt my spine turn icy cold. Even my cigarette fell from my hand without my realizing it. Am I scared? Of what?! I focused a bit; there was a bruise around his left eye. Is he okay? Why am I not focusing on myself now? Have I been overtaken by the emotions of a doctor? I noticed he was also holding a somewhat thick file, he raised it to his eyes, opened it, and said: "Um… alright… Dr. Adrian Johnson." He gave me a quick glance and continued, "Also… an experienced doctor in his field…" He chuckled lightly, "Wow… you’re 185.5 cm tall… you’re quite tall, man! Haha, I can’t believe they even wrote your blood type… are you that important, oh God!!" He then let out a loud laugh that echoed in the air. Has he lost his mind or what? And he began tapping the tip of his finger three times on the point he mentioned in the blue file he held.

There was a mocking look on his face, infuriating me. He then turned to those in the car with him, “Guys!! Should I read it all to him? As you know, I just woke up, and I’m too lazy to do it right now… how disappointing! I don’t want to… why am I the one reading the information about this annoying successful guy!! It just makes me feel more miserable about my situation, for he is accomplished and well-versed in his life… oh, damn him for that!!" He turned his head towards me with a lethal glare. Something’s off with him, you’d think! Then, moments later, he got hit on the back of his head by someone in the car with him, a person with a large, muscular arm; his muscles looked like they were bursting from his skin due to their size. “Shut up and read the file to him, you idiot!” came a tone of angry command. He clutched his head with both hands and began to groan in pain. Was the blow that painful?!

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

He dropped the file from his hands, focused on the pain in his head. The file fell at my feet, left wide open. I looked at the pages filled with writings and my eyes widened, my limbs trembled… it’s fear. I am scared; all this information is about me, and there’s my picture! What is this, and why!! Should I run, or should I stay? My limbs no longer supported me; I must escape with all I have left… quickly, now!!

I moved my feet quickly; it’s a survival instinct mixed with fear of what’s happening to me. It's the innate instinct of living creatures to survive and avoid imminent danger. I left them behind without glancing back, not even once, even with their voices rising, hearing them yell, “Stop, and hold him, don’t let him go!” I didn’t look back at all!! It seems there were ten or more of them. How could a small car hold ten of such beasts!!

Quickly around the second bend behind those trees, towards the parking lot first. I implore you, my feet, do not betray me now… Just a little further, I’ll reach my car and the escape… to my home, my place of refuge… terrified, I was running with unsteady steps trying to survive; I ran and ran. What do they want from me? I’m just a miserable person in a bleak life, tasteless and hopeless, living on a slippery slope, unaware of the obstacles ahead.

It was merely a few seconds before I stumbled over a small, unseen rock and fell flat on my face. What is wrong with me, I wonder? Am I destined for misery? I pushed myself up from the ground, kneeling from what happened. I felt warmth creeping down my face, only to realize it was my blood, flowing from my nose and staining my hands and sleeves; my forehead had a large gash from the pavement, and the warmth of my blood seemed to be pooling.

I turned around to see, having entrusted my fate to my Creator. It seems this is my end; I couldn’t get up, a frown overtook me, they were many. Of course, there’s no escape… they were tumbling like donkeys. After whom! After a simple person, all I ever wanted was peace in this dark life. Is there something wrong with an arduous and futile ambition?

One of them grabbed me by the collar, “Damn you, man! Who are you that we couldn’t catch you before? Are you Batman or something we didn’t know about, haha! If you hadn’t fallen, we wouldn’t have been able to do so. Are you an idiot or are you just paralyzed by fear, you fool? Haha!” he laughed between words, panting heavily from the exertion of running. Was I that fast?!

Amid my exploding tears and despair, mixed with my blood, those words slipped out of my mouth: “I am not Danny, I am someone else!” Without realizing it, I was crying, and he still held me by the collar and threw me hard back to the ground. It hurt deeply post this forceful release in my chest; I lay flat on the ground, powerless and weak. I lifted my head from the ground with tearful eyes to count them; there really are ten of them!! How did things turn to this direction? And I am so fragile… and weak too, which I couldn’t grasp!!

“What… Danny… who is Danny? Have you suffered some sort of misfortune, or did hitting the pavement make you delirious?!” he said after standing erect, shaking off the dust from himself, his face filled with astonishment, furrowing his brows, “We are here for you, Dr. Johnson… we are not here for this Danny. Hand it over quickly, boy… hand it over!” My eyes widened; it’s a metal baseball bat. He really handed him a metal baseball bat.

Fear shot through me, “What do you want from me? I will pay you whatever you want… I swear… just let me go… please!!” I was trying to steady myself and stand, pleading with him, crying and wailing loudly. You could imagine a twenty-seven-year-old man in such a pathetic state. “Please just let me go… I surely don’t deserve this! Oh God, why is this happening to me? I beg you… take whatever you want from me, just don’t kill me… I beg you!!” I cried, looking into their faces; they looked at me with pity. It was a situation no one would envy; tears blinded my sight due to their abundance. I know I look hideous now… with tears and blood and screams, but my life is far more important than my disgusting appearance right now. “Alright,” he said slowly, and I smiled at him. I was glad; has his heart softened? Just moments later, I heard a metallic sound piercing my skull while I held my stupid smile. A sensation of ringing echoed in my brain, and the world turned to darkness, followed by warm fluid coursing out… he struck me with all his force, and I realized one thing:

You were born, Danny, only to suffer!!