The first words that tumbled out of my mouth when I let Amelia into my apartment were rushed and barely intelligible.

“I’ve got to be overreacting, right? I just missed something and don’t understand. Alex will explain it to me, and it’ll all make sense and I’ll feel so stupid for thinking—”

A hand covered my mouth, silencing the torrent of panicked words.

“Tell me what happened,” Amelia said, “In order. Let me decide if you’re overreacting or not. Okay?”

I nodded, clutching the blanket I’d wrapped around myself like a cape tightly as my hosting side emerged. “Do you want anything to drink? Eat?” I couldn’t do either at the moment, not until I knew what was going on.

“Get us both some water,” she instructed. I nodded again, getting us both glasses.

“You’re really good at this,” I said when I handed her the cool glass.

“Good at what?”

I gestured to all of her. “This…you know, keeping calm thing. Keeping me from dissolving into a puddle on the floor.” I climbed onto the couch, tucking my knees up against my chest and resting my cheek against my arm draped on top of my knees.

Amelia huffed out an unamused laugh. “I’m pretty good in a crisis. Had to be. Every time I had an episode or was hospitalized, my parents would freak out and I had to calm them down. Especially my mom.”

“That’s tough,” I said, temporarily distracted from my own problems.

Amelia lifted one shoulder. “I can’t say I blame them. They love me. But it got to be too much, so I eventually moved away and stopped telling them things. I couldn’t be responsible for managing their feelings anymore, you know? I am, however, volunteering to manage yours.” She gave me a pointed look. “Spill.”

I took in a deep breath and held it before slowly letting it out, something my therapist had encouraged me to try. I repeated it a few more times, willing my chaotic thoughts into some semblance of order.

“Okay. So, we went to run the tests on my bio-screen, right? They wanted to make sure it wasn’t being used to spy on them. So Alex comes with me, and of course Leo has to be there to lower the security so they could get in to run their tests. Blah blah blah, they learn about the gamma. Cool, whatever. But apparently, Leo thought that Dr. Goodwin should have started asking questions about it. When he just left instead, Leo decided that it was Alex’s fault and started trying to interrogate him.

“So I grabbed Leo and took us back to his apartment. He said some things, I said some things, I’ll deal with that later. But when I got back to Alex, I didn’t make it inside the room and ended up in the hallway. And that’s when I heard him and Goodwin talking.”

I picked at the blanket’s edge, folding it and unfolding it as I tried to accurately recall what was said. “Goodwin said Leo was a lost cause, but my ability was still useful. Alex said that Leo believes I’ll be able to make portals eventually. Then I missed something, but then Alex said something like I’ve grown on him.”

Amelia sat silently while I kept thinking, knowing I was missing someth—

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“Oh! And Goodwin said it was confirmation of something, too. And…I think that’s it.”

Amelia took a sip of her water. “So, looking at the whole picture, it seems like they wanted Leo for something but not anymore. But that you’re still useful. Is that the right feeling you got?”

“Yeah, basically.”

Amelia hummed, tilting her head to one side. Even being a few years younger than me, she was wise beyond her years. LaShoul’s tended to age people, from my perspective at least, in many ways. No one was the same, but it was clear Amelia had a steady head on her shoulders. It made me curious as to what else might have happened in her life to mold her into this person before me.

“That’s difficult to say,” she said slowly. “It’s definitely possible you missed something. Maybe they were looking to get Leo on board with the group, and changed their mind? I wouldn’t blame them for that, no offense.”

I snorted a laugh. “He’s all but dead to me, anyways.”

Amelia met my eyes, and the expression on her face made me tense, waiting for an emotional blow to hit.

“I’m sorry you lost a friend in him,” she said. I looked away. I had lost my best friend. But, in hindsight, he wasn’t always a great friend to begin with. There were plenty of times I went along with things because I didn’t want the argument, or push him away, or because he’d always seemed so much more put-together than me. We fell into roles, and it wasn’t until I met Alex and developed our abilities that things began to change. And our personalities now didn’t mesh together anymore. Not to mention the other shit he’d pulled.

“Honestly, I’m okay with it. I’ve learned things about him recently that make me think it’s for the best.” I waved her off before she could say anything else. Leo wasn’t the focus. “But as far as Alex goes, I don’t know. Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. But Leo said I’ve got blinders on and am not seeing the whole picture.”

“When did Leo say that?”

“Oh, just after I put him back in his apartment where he belongs.”

Amelia chuckled. “Well, I can’t say he’s wrong or right without knowing what he was thinking.”

“I wish you would have been there,” I sighed. “Have you picked up on anything during your training?”

She shook her head. “No. Anyone I interact with there is very careful with their thoughts while I’m practicing. We’re working on details. So, like, one of them will stare at a picture, and I’ll have to describe the shade of blue on the bird’s wings, or whatever. And honestly, it’s exhausting. It’s good, but I’m tired.”

“Yeah, I get that. It’ll get easier as you build up that muscle. Do you still have to see the person to read their thoughts.”

“Yeah. Though I’ve found if I have a connection to someone and they walk out of my sight, I have like two seconds before it disconnects. But I’ll keep alert for anything, okay?” She reached out, giving my arm a reassuring squeeze.

“Can I ask a favor?” As if I wasn’t already asking enough of this poor woman who’d decided to be my friend and was stuck with me now. Her fault, really. “Those meds they gave you, early on…”

She wrinkled her nose. “You don’t want them. I used those for the first week and haven’t touched them since. Gave me a killer migraine when they wore off and made me dizzy. They helped in the beginning, don’t get me wrong, but if you need—”

“No,” I interrupted. “I just wanted to know how they worked, or if you were still using them. I’m glad you aren’t. They rub me the wrong way. I was worried.”

She smiled. “They’ve offered, even gave me a handful to keep with me just in case, but I leave them at home.”

It was a weight off my shoulders I didn’t know was so heavy.

“You…” Amelia cleared her throat, voice thick. “You care about me.”

She was reading my thoughts, or maybe just my body language. With the new stat system, it didn’t pick up on other’s gamma anymore. I’d have to get Leo to put that back for me.

“Yeah. Of course I do. You weaseled your way into my life and now you’re stuck,” I teased to lighten to mood. I’d had enough of heavy emotions for one day. “But it does make me wonder how they figured out how to repress the abilities without knowing the cause.”

“What do you mean?” Amelia shifted on the couch, tucking one leg beneath her.

I sat up straighter and stared off to think. “I mean, if they knew how to stop it, wouldn’t it make sense they also knew about what started it?”

“Maybe. But look at LaShoul’s. Plenty of doctors have worked on treatments without knowing the underlying cause.”

I deflated. “Yeah. I guess that’s true.” Was I just looking for reasons to be suspicious? Were Leo’s earlier words getting to me?

Probably. Damn.