Alex and I kept our mouths shut as the elevator descended and spat us out back to the lobby. It was an effort to keep my strides even as we exited the building. I had glanced up at Alex when we were waiting for the elevator, which had been a major mistake, and had almost lost my composure.
We didn’t linger once we hit the sidewalk, instead immediately walking towards the subway in an unspoken agreement to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. The brisk movement and cold breeze helped disperse the adrenaline rushing through my system. I flexed my hands in my coat pockets, trying to shake the feeling, the need, to use my power.
“So,” Alex started once we made it almost two blocks away. I glanced up at him, a small grin creeping onto my face.
“So,” I answered. “That was…not what I was expecting.”
Alex blew out a breath. “You’re telling me. I got really worried for a second there.”
I nodded, remembering the momentary panic I’d felt before Goodwin had clarified. “It makes sense that they don’t trust whatever Farley may have done with the screen. I would probably feel the same. I can’t blame them for wanting to test it.”
“It was a good idea for you to bring up Leo.”
“I figured if I offered to help, it might make me look better.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. It felt like the right thing to do in the moment.”
“It didn’t hurt, at least,” he agreed. “And if Leo decides to remove your mods, then we’re covered.”
After Goodwin saw the panic on my face at his declaration that he couldn’t trust me, he was quick to elaborate that they couldn’t trust that my bio-screen hadn’t been tampered with after the supposed issues with it they needed to fix. Goodwin doubted they did anything malicious since I agreed to work for them and leave Hubert, but they didn’t want to take the chance. They requested that I allow them to test the screen for anything suspicious.
At that point, I’d chimed in that I was neighbors with one of the lead developers—also my best friend, though I left out the former part of that—and I could have him take a look to ensure there wasn’t anything going on that there shouldn’t be be. I’d also claimed that I hadn’t considered the possibility it had been messed with, and didn’t want to be some guinea pig for them unknowingly.
Blondie hadn’t trusted me, saying that ran the risk of him tampering with things, and that devolved into a twenty-minute heated debate about what to let me or not let me do. Ultimately, Goodwin had suggested they give me a chance since ultimately the tests they planned to run on it were still in development.
It bought a little bit of time. I wasn’t sure what Leo’s reaction would be. Thinking about it, and knowing Leo like I did for most things, I could already anticipate him insisting on coming with me to both ensure that they didn’t tamper with the screen and to get a look around himself.
“We’re going to need to talk to him. Soon. And I bet he’ll want to tag along,” I said.
Alex sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.”
“You were?”
“If I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to at least take a look around while using the excuse of keeping my best friend safe.”
“He’s not my best friend,” I answered instinctually, without thinking.
Alex paused on the sidewalk right outside the subway doors, turning to face me so quickly I startled back a step. He matched it, and I could feel the warmth radiating off him. I shivered, wanting to step into that warmth.
“Are you ever going to tell me what really happened?” he asked quietly.
I wasn’t ready to, not yet, but I didn’t want to tell him. I knew Alex, but not well enough to know how he would react to his girlfriend being drugged and kidnapped and subsequently manipulated into working for her kidnappers.
Yeah, thinking about it like that, it sounded just a smidge crazy.
“Let’s go talk to Leo,” I suggested instead. “That’s a priority.”
“No. You are the priority,” he insisted. His hand grabbed my biceps, pulling me close and pressing his lips against my forehead. I closed my eyes and leaned into his embrace, feeling some sort of something leave my body, letting it relax fully for the first time since the whole situation began. My head dropped, leaning against his shoulder, as I took in a deep breath of cold air mixed with Alex’s scent that had a faint hint of spice.
“I don’t know what happened,” he whispered, “but I know there’s more to it than you’re telling me. If you’re not ready, that’s okay. But I need you to tell me this: are you safe?”
I nodded against him. As far as I knew, I was safe. They’d gotten what they wanted out of me. I was cooperating—mostly—working with them to serve their purpose.
“You promise?”
“Yes,” I answered, pulling back to look up at him. A worried crease existed between his eyes, and I reached up and smoothed it out with my finger before letting my hand drift to hold his cheek. Going up on tiptoes, I kissed him once, briefly, in thanks. Maybe I needed to give Alex more credit.
“Okay,” he relented, taking a step back. “Let’s go bother your ex-best friend.”
I rolled my eyes but grinned, grabbing Alex’s hand and leading him down into the subway.
The ride was a short but welcome break from the cold. I spent that time browsing new winter coats online since this year was already turning out to be a frigid one. Alex pointed to ones that he supposedly liked, mostly ones in garish colors or with faux fur trimming the hood that would inevitably get into my mouth. It was the kind of lighthearted bantering that I needed. Because as soon as we made it into my and Leo’s apartment building, I felt the color draining from my cheeks.
Of course, Alex had to notice.
“I’m going to kill him,” he threatened, mostly joking. I hoped.
I jabbed at the floor number and shook my head.
“Don’t,” was all I said.
Alex’s eyes didn’t stray from me the entire ride up. After taking bracing breath as the doors slid open onto my floor, I marched forward and pounded on Leo’s door. I wasn’t feeling polite enough to use the doorbell.
“Leo!” I shouted through the thick manufactured wood. “Open up! We have a problem!”
It took Leo only seconds to yank the door open. He must not have seen Alex off to the side because he reached forward to…embrace me? Pull me inside? I couldn’t be sure, but as soon as I flinched away from his touch Alex was there, standing in front of me, his arms crossed.
Ho-ly shit, I thought, staring at Alex’s back. I could feel the protectiveness coming off him, protectiveness over me. And while I was a strong, independent woman who didn’t need a man, it was…something that I didn’t have time to analyze right now.
I couldn’t help it. I reached out and grabbed the back of Alex’s coat, near his waist, in what may have been a slightly possessive move. I tried nudging him to the side, but failed as my bio-screen buzzed. Great. He was literally flexing his strength ability in front of Leo, meaning there was no way to move him.
Guess I’d just have to go around them both.
I teleported myself into Leo’s apartment, appearing behind Leo and raising an eyebrow at Alex. He visibly relaxed, looking a bit chagrined, and let his arms drop.
“Sorry,” he apologized.
“No need,” I answered for Leo. He spun around to face me, and I gave him a little finger wave. “Leo, we need to talk, the three of us. We have an issue.”
It took about ten minutes to bring Leo up to speed, explaining what the Organization’s concerns were and what they planned to do. Leo didn’t look at either of us the entire time, instead making himself a cup of tea and staring down into the steam wafting up. He’d made me a coffee, exactly the way I liked it, but I couldn’t bring myself to drink it or even touch the mug. Alex noticed and took it from Leo, thanking him. He took a couple of sips and waited a minute before offering the mostly-full cup to me. I downed it, mostly to keep my mouth occupied before I said something embarrassing from all the protectiveness that was doing things to me.
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“We didn’t mess with it,” was the first thing Leo said when we finished. “But you want me to check anyways.”
“We need to know what you want to do about the gamma mod,” I said. “Do we want them to find it? To risk them asking questions about it, find out what it means, what they can learn from it? It would be easy for any company to develop a way to track gamma without needing a full bio-screen.”
Leo was quiet. Then, “I hadn’t considered that.”
“I can’t speak to what they will be looking for or what they will do with any information they find,” Alex added from his spot beside me.
“Are we ready for someone else to know about the gamma, and is that someone else the Organization?” I looked to both Alex and Leo for their answers.
“It has the potential to help people,” Alex chimed in. “Like I said, I don’t know what they’ll do with it. But they’ve been working to help people for a while, before the bio-screens came around.”
“Not to mention the CEO of Farley knows about the gamma,” I added. “He hasn’t done anything with it yet.”
“That you know of,” Leo added. “My father is looking into things.”
“Wait,” Alex interrupted, “Farley Tech knows about it?”
“Yep,” I answered, leaning back in my seat to get comfortable for the argument I expected to erupt.
“And we’re talking about keeping that same information quiet? From other companies that can help? No, absolutely not. Tell them.”
“It would level the playing field,” I added. “Right now Farley has the upper hand with the bio-screens and this information.”
Alex shook his head. “It may seem that way, but from my perspective this just means Farley Tech finally caught up. We knew about the abilities long before the bio-screens came around, even if we didn’t know the cause.”
“So,” Leo began, “you’re saying to give your group the information to get them back ahead. I don’t think so. There are too many unknowns. Callie, let me see your arm. I’ll fix this.”
I crossed my arms defiantly. “Do. Not. Touch. Me,” I bit out. “You are one person, one vote in all this.”
“It’s my tech, and my mods!” Leo protested. I shrugged.
“I thought we were in this together. Isn’t that why you gave Alex the lenses with the same gamma mod?”
Alex smirked, which only further infuriated Leo.
Before he could argue, I added, “Let’s talk about this calmly, look at all sides of things, and then we can take a vote, the three of us. Alex, do you agree to this?”
He nodded, turning that smirk to me. He was enjoying this, maybe a bit too much.
“Leo?”
He was frowning, arms crossed, but nodded.
As I began speaking, I ticked off each point using my fingers. “First, as far as the gamma radiation goes, I think we’ve got enough data to support any claims, especially if we provide demonstrations. Second, there’s not much else we can do with this information by ourselves. We are only three people. I know we talked about maybe getting some more data from other sources, but is it necessary? I think we need to start bringing in more people to be able to do anything. And third, is it worth sharing the information so others can benefit from it? It’s not without risk, but is that risk worth it?”
Leo opened his mouth to reply without hesitation, and I cut him off. “I think we all need to sleep on it. These are big decisions, and we have a little time. We should meet again, soon, maybe tomorrow, and each share what out thoughts are.”
I stood and walked into the kitchen to rinse my mug in the sink and put it in the dishwasher. Even though technically I was a guest here, I didn’t want Leo having to clean up after me. It felt too much like I’d owe him for his hospitality.
“Are we all free tomorrow evening?” I called out to the two men, who were in the middle of a stare down. I bit back an exasperated sigh. “My apartment, tomorrow. Seven okay? I’ll make dinner.”
Neither of them answered me. I stalked over and snapped my fingers between them.
“Excuse me, assholes. Quit this bullshit and answer my question. Tomorrow at seven. Dinner provided. Yes or no?”
Alex broke his gaze first, his eyes meeting mine and lighting up with suppressed laughter as his shoulders almost vibrated. Something was amusing him, and I was going to drag it out of him as soon as we relocated to my apartment.
“I’ll be there,” Alex answered, his voice confirming he was trying not to laugh.
I raised an eyebrow at Leo. He nodded. Good enough.
“Don’t be late.” I pointed an accusing finger at Alex briefly before turning it to Leo. He just looked at me, something almost haunted in his eyes.
I ignored it. Not my problem.
“Alex?” I nodded towards the door, inviting him to leave with me. He wouldn’t stay without me, since he and Leo were not at all close to being friends if today’s interaction was any indication.
He followed, a warm presence at my back as we walked out Leo’s door and through mine at the end of the hallway.
“That could have gone better,” I muttered as I unlocked and opened my door.
“Eh, it could have gone worse.”
“Ha. I suppose that’s true enough.” I closed and locked the door behind us.
“Trying to keep me from escaping?” Alex teased, gesturing to the door.
“No,” I answered, my cheeks heating for absolutely no reason. “More like keeping Leo out.”
“Why? Has he come in uninvited before?”
“No. I just…it makes me feel better to have a solid barrier between us.”
“He really did a number on you.”
Shrugging, I kept my thoughts to myself. I wasn’t sure how to describe all the conflicting feelings I was now dealing with on a daily basis, especially when we were at work together.
“It wasn’t good,” I finally allowed as Lucie appeared from around the kitchen peninsula. She mrrow’ed at me, twice, before lazily sauntering to her enclosed cat bed by the coffee table. She liked Alex, it seemed, or maybe his energy was calmer than Leo’s. Or it was a new moon phase. One could never know.
“Want a drink?” I was grabbing one for myself, because after that I needed something to take the edge off. Interacting with Leo these days put me on edge. It wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism, but until I had my appoint with my therapist, it would do.
“Uh, sure, why not?”
I handed him a cider, one of my personal favorites. Now that I had a higher-paying job I could more easily afford the little things that previously had been only for special occasions. My fridge and pantry never looked so luxurious, filled with snack cakes and a variety of cheese-flavored crackers. My personal chef, courtesy of Farley Tech, hadn’t started cooking for me yet, which meant I still had the freedom to eat whatever the hell wanted. For now.
I took several long swallows of mine while I fished through the fridge for something to eat. I had two takeout containers I didn’t trust. Well, I would eat it, but I wasn’t going to offer them to a guest.
“Want to order out?” I offered, shutting the fridge door.
“I could eat.”
While I tapped away on my phone to order food, Alex approached me slowly, coming to stand behind me to look over my shoulder at my choices. His arms wrapped around my middle and he rested his chin on my shoulder. I leaned back into him, and he nuzzled my neck with his nose.
“You can’t do that,” I whispered, leaning away without breaking his hold on me.
“Why not?”
My brain stuttered. How was I supposed to explain to him that his displays of protectiveness, facing off with Leo, and now the intimate snuggling were turning me on?
“Uh…” was all I managed. Alex chuckled, his warm breath ghosting over the curve of my neck while his nose continued it path up towards my ear.
“Order the food,” he reminded me.
Oh, right. I’d completely forgotten the phone in my hand, fully absorbed in his embrace.
Get it together, woman, I scolded myself.
“Then stop doing that,” I answered, pulling my shoulder up to try to protect my neck and ear.
“I can’t help it. It was hot watching you take charge like that.”
Oh. Oh, no.
No no no no.
“You can’t say that.”
“Mmm, I actually can say that.” His voice was lower, a slight rasp reaching places it shouldn’t, places that hadn’t…
Focus. Food. Ordering.
I managed to ignored him successfully until the order was placed. But as soon as I had, he’d grabbed my hips and spun me around. He stepped into my space, pinning me against the counter with his body.
My breath stuttered as his hand crawled up my back and grabbed a handful of hair at the base of my head. He tugged gently but firmly, tilting my face up to his.
“Tell me what you want,” he breathed.
Holy fuck.
There were so many images flashing through my mind, different answers to his question I could tell him. But he’d told me that he wasn’t interested in a physical relationship. His strength ability, while better controlled now, made him worried he could hurt someone, hurt me, if things got out of hand. I’d respected that, maintaining the equivalent of a preteen relationship with dates, handholding, and kissing. We’d never explored anything else, and I’d never suggested any different or pushed him for more.
But if he kept doing the things he was doing, there’d be a reckoning one way or another.
“Honestly?” I paused, gathering my courage. “You.”
He stiffened. I braced for the implosion, knowing I’d likely asked too much of him with that single word. He’d let me go, run from the apartment, and break up with me over text. Then I’d be all alone to deal with—
His mouth collided with mine, nipping and teasing and driving me wild. I grabbed his shirt in my fists, pulling him closer until I could wrap one arm around his neck, the other grabbing his waistband. For stability, of course.
He made a low sound in the back of his throat, his hand tightening in my hair and wrestling a whimper out of me.
And then he ripped himself out of my hold and was as far away from me as the kitchen allowed, panting and chanting, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Callie, it won’t happen again, I’m sorry.”
“What?” I asked. “Did I miss something?”
“I…” Alex’s panicked eyes met mine. “I hurt you.”
“Did you?” I tried to assess my body, but all I could feel was a sort of tingling buzz over my limbs, not unpleasant.
“You…you whimpered,” he explained.
My cheeks flamed.
“Oh. That. No, that, uhm, wasn’t because you hurt me,” I told him.
“I didn’t?”
“No. The opposite, really. It, uh, was a good thing.”
Alex let out a sigh, and I approached him. I gave him a chance to move or tell me no, but when he didn’t I wrapped my arms around his middle and held him tight.
“I’m okay,” I reassured him. “Absolutely fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. And I truly mean that. Okay?”
His arms wrapped around me to return the hug and he nodded against my shoulder.
“We can practice. If you want,” I rushed to add. I didn’t want to assume anything. “I mean, this isn’t me trying to proposition you or anything, but I just want you to know that, if you want to, we can try—”
He pulled back and covered my mouth with a hand. “Just…stop talking about what you’re willing to try. It’s kind of killing me right now.”
“Oh, sorry.”
And there went my bio-screen, alerting to something else stupid. Probably my heart rate, since I was going to die of embarrassment.
“Let’s put on a show or something while we wait for the food,” he suggested. “And then maybe we’ll talk about it. Though doing it over text might give me the best chance at survival.”
Doing it. Ha!
Get your brain out of the gutter! I smacked my forehead with the heel of my hand twice. It didn’t help to dislodge the errant thoughts.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, fine, ignore that. But I agree, maybe text might be better. I’ll grab a couple of blankets real quick. You can pick what we watch.”
Thankfully, Alex picked an action movie I hadn’t seen before that had absolutely zero romance, and it was enough to keep us distracted through dinner until he left an hour later.
After the door had shut behind him, I beelined to my bathroom and hopped into a freezing cold shower. If it worked for the men in some of the books I read, it could work for me, right?
Wrong.